How to treat autism in children: stories from people's lives. How a candle is lit

The content of the article:

Autism in children is a disorder characterized by mental development such as motor speech disorder, lack of social skills, imagination. There are currently no special analyzes that could establish an accurate diagnosis of autism. You can determine the disease only by observing the child and his attitude towards others.

A story about the treatment of autism in a child by cleansing the body Olga, 43 years old

My daughter has autism, she for a long time did not say, she was peculiar aggressive behavior. In addition, she was hyperactive, it was very difficult to get along with her. An additional "fly in the ointment" was problems with the intestines.

I spent several years researching information about the causes and treatments for autism. As a result, I was able to create own system treatment of autism in children, which helped my daughter recover and adapt to life.

I am convinced that one of the reasons for the development of autism is vaccinations, no matter how doctors oppose this idea. My daughter and I took tests, and it turned out that the amount of tin and aluminum was increased in her blood, that is heavy metals.

I found studies that prove that many autistic children have the measles virus in their intestines. It causes constipation. So I gave my daughter an antiviral to drink. As a result, constipation has ceased to torment us. In addition, we made a control analysis for mercury and aluminum. It turned out that we have an excess in these indicators.

We began to systematically cleanse the body of heavy metals. The daughter's condition began to slowly but surely stabilize. We are finally moving forward on the treatment of autism. The child began to develop speech and imagination to work better, attacks of aggression and hyperactivity stopped.

I found on the Internet an article by an American neurosurgeon on English language. I am a translator by education, so it was not difficult to translate it. It turned out that, in his opinion, due to the influence of heavy metals that were obtained from vaccinations, complex autoimmune processes are triggered in the brain of children. In some cases it develops inflammatory process, and this leads to grave consequences like autism.

Mercury salts are not excreted from the body on their own, so the process becomes chronic. Mercury salts have a detrimental effect on all organs. We began to purify the blood and organs of the child. In addition, with the help various products nutrition and drugs began to extinguish the autoimmune process, which was confirmed by tests for IgM.

Also an important point in our therapy is the presence in the menu a large number vitamins, minerals, amino acids. Without this, restoring health is very difficult and the process drags on for many years.

You can use multivitamins, but I prefer to give natural products such as honey, royal jelly, figs, pine nuts and walnuts.

After a year of such treatment, my daughter began to change before our eyes. She has emotions, speech is actively developing, there is an interest in other people, life, imagination. Before, she was only interested in water and sticks. Now I understand what we're on the right way and the child will have a full life.

Life story of dietary treatment for autism Alexandra, 37

A pediatrician sent me and my son Mikhail to the first psychologist. He seemed to understand little of what the adults were saying to him. He developed quite normally up to a year and a half. However, then he stopped saying aloud the words that he already knew well: mom, dad, cow, cat, and so on. It was as if the child was disappearing into itself. He was almost always silent. At first we thought that the reason for his silence was otitis, which often tormented him in childhood.

In just a few months, the child stopped responding to the outside world at all and hardly recognized loved ones. He stopped making eye contact and made no contact. Other strange behaviors also appeared: he rubbed his head on the floor, walked on tiptoe, made strange gurgling sounds, constantly repeated some action, for example, opening and closing the door or pouring sand from one container to another in the sandbox. The child did not allow himself to be picked up or hugged. It caused a storm of indignation or hysterical tears in him. In addition, he developed chronic diarrhea.

After the first examinations, the psychiatrist finally sounded this terrible word - "autism". As I later learned, autism spectrum disorder is not a mental illness. This is a violation of the development of the child, which is caused by abnormalities of the brain. Although autism affects an average of 1 in 500 children, it is still the least understood developmental disorder.

We were told that Misha, most likely, would not healthy child and complete person. He will not be able to make friends, have meaningful conversations, study at general education school, live independently. We were advised to believe only in the fact that the child will be able to instill some social skills that he himself is not able to acquire.

After my son was finally diagnosed, I began to disappear into libraries and the Internet in search of information on how to treat autism in children. So I found a book that was about an autistic kid. His mother was sure that her son's symptoms were provoked by a "cerebral allergy" to regular milk. The idea of ​​an allergy stuck in my head because Misha loved to drink cow's milk and consumed it in large quantities - up to two liters a day.

Also, I remembered a few months ago my mother read that many children who suffer from chronic ear infections are allergic to wheat and milk. Even then, she told me to try to exclude these products from Misha's menu. But I insisted that milk, cheese and pasta are all he likes to eat and if I exclude them from the diet, then he will simply starve.

After that, I also remembered that the first otitis appeared in Misha at 11 months. This just coincided with the time of the transition from infant formula to cow's milk. I breastfed him for up to three months, but breast milk he endured badly, he poured. Then we were advised to switch to hypoallergenic infant formula.

In general, there was nothing to lose, and I decided to exclude "suspicious" foods from the child's diet. What happened next was more like a miracle. A few weeks later, Misha stopped screaming and hysterical. He stopped repeating the same actions endlessly. And he blew my mind when he held out his pen to me to help him down the stairs. He also allowed his older sister to pick him up and sing him a lullaby.

A month later we visited good pediatrician who specialized in developmental disabilities in children. He did some tests with Misha and asked us a lot of questions. We talked about the improvement in his behavior after we stopped giving him dairy products. However, at the end of the appointment, the doctor said that the child had autism, and while the idea of ​​milk intolerance was interesting, it could not be related to his autism or recent behavioral improvements.

This led us to despair, but the child got better every day: he sat in my arms and looked into my eyes, began to pay attention to his sister, slept well, but the diarrhea did not go away.

He was not two, and we already gave him to a specialized children's institution and began intensive language and behavioral therapy. In addition, we decided to test the theory about the effect of milk on the son's behavior. In the morning they gave Misha a glass of milk to drink, and by evening he began to walk on tiptoe and rub his head on the floor, demonstrating a behavior that we had almost forgotten about. A few weeks later, the child's behavior recurred. It turned out that in the garden they gave him a piece of cheese. So we became convinced that Misha had a peculiar allergy to dairy products.

Later, I was able to find information about researchers who collected evidence that milk complicates the course of autism. It turned out that milk protein, being converted into peptides, affects the brain in much the same way as hallucinogenic drugs. In the urine of children suffering from "milk allergy", substances that contained opiates were identified. According to scientists, such children either lack an enzyme that digests peptides, or peptides enter the bloodstream before they are digested.

Now I began to understand why Misha developed normally while eating hypoallergenic soy infant formula, and it also explained why later he demanded a lot of milk - opiates provoke a strong addiction.

After a lot of “research” with my husband, we came to the conclusion that it is necessary to transfer the child to a gluten-free diet, on which celiac patients are sitting. 48 hours later, Misha got his first baby in months hard chair. His coordination improved, after a couple of months I even began to make out the words that he uttered.

Our attending physicians only chuckled ironically when we talked about our method of treating autism with a diet. They didn't see any connection in it.

By the time Misha was 3 years old, all the doctors agreed that the diagnosis of autism should be removed. The child passed all the tests that confirmed that he is mentally healthy and complete. According to the test results, over time, he entered a regular school.

Now Misha is 7, and he, according to class teacher, one of the most active and cheerful children in the class. He has friends, he plays in the school theater, plays with older sister in imaginary games, which autistic children never do. Our worst fears have not come true, we are all insanely happy.

How Yulia, 27 years old, treated autism in a child using sensory integration

My daughter is now 3.5 years old. Our diagnosis sounds like "ZPR with autistic features." Almost a year ago I started working with a psychologist. The daughter did not speak, and speech therapists refused to take her for treatment.

At 2 and 10 they drank a course of nootropic drugs, but from them the daughter began to sleep badly, began to act up. I had to give up drug treatment. AT Kindergarten we were accepted, but the problems began almost immediately: the daughter did not obey, could not take care of herself, observe an elementary toilet.

We searched for stories of autism in children, treatments on the Internet. Once I went to an autism conference in Moscow and learned about sensory integration there. I didn’t think for a long time, my daughter had serious violations, and adapt her to social life I couldn't do it at all.

We had a consultation at the center, I filled out a bunch of documents, some kind of “questionnaires”. They tried to examine the daughter, she began to squeal and hysteria. Then she focused on some toy, but again became nervous. I had to calm down with food. But we were persuaded to sign up for trial classes.

Of course, at first nothing worked out for us, the daughter screamed, refused to do anything, although they tried to ride and play with her. It all looked a little like a lesson. I even had doubts whether we need all this.

I had to sit with her on a swing to ride for no more than three minutes. She didn't agree anymore. In the third lesson, I left it to a specialist and stayed outside the door. The first 15-20 minutes I listened to how she whines. But then - silence. After 45 minutes, the daughter left. It cannot be said that she is satisfied, but clearly more calm than she was at the beginning.

We've been going for four months now. Sleep has become better, less aggressive, more dexterous, not afraid of the people around her. And most importantly, I finally began to understand why a pot is needed and began to try to speak. So far no more than ten words, but if she needs something, she is already able to explain.

And the other day my daughter has a new achievement - she began to eat herself. Previously, I could not insert a spoon into her hand, but now she takes it herself and eats. It turns out that they taught her in the classroom - they got out of the tank wooden balls spoon. In general, her look even became different, more meaningful. In general, I am satisfied with the results.

How to treat autism in children - look at the video:

Image copyright Anna Cook Image caption By laying out toys in a row, children with autism recreate the sequence of events they are used to.

About this blog

Anna Cook is a journalist who has been living in England for 8 years. Raises three daughters. At eldest daughter Autism was diagnosed at 3 years old.

This blog is not really about weekdays and holidays ordinary family and about how in England they treat the problems of children with developmental disabilities.

• British blog

April 2 is World Autism Awareness Day. For me and my loved ones, this day is especially important. The fact that now every hundredth person in the UK has autism is not a dry statistic for me, this one in a hundred people is my child.

Three years ago, I knew absolutely nothing about autism, except for a set of some stereotypes: sociopathic geniuses, eccentric loners, avoiding eye contact silent people.

When my mother-in-law suggested that our two-year-old daughter Liza might have autism, I laughed and did not believe: "Oh, these grandmothers, they just need to worry." Liza always looked into her eyes beautifully, she grew up as a very smiling, affectionate and cheerful girl.

"Nothing, outgrow"

In my opinion, Liza had only one problem: at the age of two, she had not yet said a single word, had not called me mom, and her dad dad, but all the time she “chirped” something in a thin voice in her own language and at the same time walked on tiptoe.

My friends reassured me: "Nothing, it will outgrow." Told wonderful stories, as with acquaintances of acquaintances, the child also did not speak, and then at three, five, seven years (depending on the story) times - and he said some very compound word or even took it and immediately spoke in sentences.

But the mother-in-law was not at all alerted by the lack of speech, but by the way Lisa treated her younger sister, three-month-old Katya.

And Lisa did not treat her in any way.

She simply did not notice the baby, stepped over the baby, as if through a doll forgotten on the floor. I could try to stand on it to reach the toys on the back of the sofa. She did not come to look at her or console her, and did not even show the jealousy characteristic of children.

Slide, ladder, swing

I couldn't hold back my tears as I watched a Lisa-aged boy point his finger at the sky and yell at his dad, "Look, there's a plane!"

Suddenly, at one moment, I realized that in two years she had never asked me for food, a toy, clothes, she had never pointed a finger at something that attracted her attention, she had not asked me to play with her.

I remember that terrible feeling when I could not hold back my tears on the playground, watching a licking-age boy point his finger at the sky and shout to his dad: “Look, the plane!”. Or how a younger girl swings on a swing and asks her mother: "Higher, higher!".

I furtively wiped away my tears and looked at my daughter. Lisa cheerfully ran around the site along her usual route: a slide, a ladder, a swing, always in the same sequence.

So she ran to the swing and waits. She doesn't beg, she doesn't scream, she just stands patiently and waits for me to come up and lift her up.

First months after diagnosis

Image copyright Anna Cook Image caption I constantly doubted the correctness of the diagnosis: "Well, she does not avoid eye contact" ...

It is often written that the shock that parents experience when they learn that their child has autism is akin to the shock of losing a loved one.

Imagine: for two years you were sure that you were growing completely healthy baby, who at the right time began to sit, walk and eat with a spoon.

In your ambitious dreams you see him as a talented musician or dancer, best student in a class that any Oxford and Cambridge university would be happy to have among its students.

Old ladies, meeting you on the street with a stroller, smile and compliment "such a pretty girl."

And suddenly, at one moment, it turns out that your wonderful, pretty girl is a “special child”, with “special needs”, “developmental disabilities” or, as they say in Russian more directly and harshly, “mental disability”.

The first months after we learned about our daughter's autism were the most difficult.

I rushed from side to side: I understood that I would have to part with the painted picture about the cloudless future of the child and my family, but at the same time I constantly doubted the correctness of the diagnosis (“well, she doesn’t avoid eye contact”, “well, she doesn’t shake hands and does not endlessly spin the wheel of the machine").

Reconcile, realize, calm down

Going to children's groups and meeting friends who have children of the same age as my daughter turned into an excruciating ordeal. It suddenly became obvious how far Lisa was lagging behind her peers.

At first glance, Lisa is no different from other children of her age, well, except that she may seem ill-mannered.

The children, with their characteristic frankness, asked questions: "Why doesn't Liza speak, why does she squeak like that, and why doesn't she want to play with us?" And they armed themselves against her in the game with sticks.

It was physically painful to watch, it was impossible to answer children's questions without tears.

Another test is conversations with colleagues and acquaintances with whom you communicate infrequently. How can I tell them that something is wrong with my daughter? Is it necessary? The word "autism" stuck in my throat.

I needed more than a year to finally reconcile, realize and calm down. Now I can answer children's questions with a smile, talk to friends and even write this text.

Now Lisa is five years old, she goes to specialized school. He speaks little and unintelligibly, although he understands speech in two languages, counts well and distinguishes colors.

She is very fond of music, songs and cartoons and can spend hours acting out stories from "Winnie the Pooh" or "Bob the Builder" with her Lego figures.

At first glance, she is no different from other children of her age, well, except that she may seem ill-mannered - she doesn’t greet, doesn’t answer questions, and from the threshold she can start escorting you out the door: “Bye-bye-bye.”

It is important to notice autism early

Autism is insidious in that it can often be invisible to an uninitiated person, disguised as bad Education, mental retardation, and up to three years almost do not show themselves at all.

With how rapidly the number of children with autism is increasing now, absolutely everyone needs to know about this disorder.

I would have given out a pamphlet with information about autism in pregnancy courses.

If the child refuses the breast or bottle, - If the child walks on tiptoe, - If the child has not said a single word by the age of one and a half, - If by the age of one the child does not have a spontaneous pointing gesture, and he does not understand where to look when you show him something - If by the age of one and a half the child cannot show parts of the body, repeat "okays" and "bye-bye" - If the child simply does not know how to blow, and many more "ifs", lead him immediately see a doctor and don’t let yourself be escorted out with the consolations “it’s still early,” “outgrow it,” “grow up,” and so on.

Unfortunately, after "too early" very quickly comes "something you realized too late." If you do not start practicing before the age of three, then all efforts will be much less effective.

Working with autistic children

I would hang a poster in the store and public transport: If you see a hysterical toddler or schoolchild and a pale, confused mother, think before condemning her incompetence as a parent.

Autism is incurable, but its manifestations can be corrected.

Perhaps this child is sick and screaming not because they didn’t buy a chocolate bar, but because he had a sensory overload from the light, noise and flow of people and you just need to give him time to calm down.

Think you're only watching this scene for a few minutes as you walk by, and that mom has to deal with it every day.

But children with autism can be helped to adapt in life. Because it is proven that with appropriate support, these children are educable and can both finish school and get a higher education, and subsequently work.

Autism is incurable, but its manifestations can be corrected.

Unfortunately, as always, it all comes down to money. And as far as the UK is concerned, so far, I think the government is taking the path of least resistance.

I will try to talk about how autism is diagnosed and what kind of support families receive in the next blog.

the site publishes stories of mothers about their children, who break through the blank wall of autism every day. According to statistics, today it occurs in every 65th child in the world.

What it's like to be a mom who faces the challenges of autism on a daily basis. How to help your child learn simple but important skills, find friends, not be afraid of society, develop and strive for more. The project helps such parents and their children a lot. "Every child deserves a school" implemented by the Bolashak Corporate Fund. During its implementation, more than 700 appeals were received on discrimination against children with autism in obtaining a quality education.

The Foundation helped open inclusion support rooms in ten schools in Astana and Almaty. This made it possible to withdraw from learning "at home" and include in the general educational environment over 120 children with cerebral palsy, autism and other special needs.

Our heroes Aldiyar and Nail study at the Astana school-gymnasium No. 83, which has become best example inclusive school.

“Son said the first word “mom” again at 9 years old”

Aliya - Aldiyar's mother

At the age of four, our son Aldiyar was diagnosed with autism. At the same time, autism is atypical, because withdrawal into oneself happened at 3.5 years. It happened very quickly. The child from the usual, normotypical turned into a "wild monkey". Speech is lost, self-care skills are at zero, behavior is uncontrollable ...

Our family's world just collapsed. Aldiyar is the first and favorite child. At first we did not know what to do and how to live with it. The son is completely degraded. After the stage of denial that this cannot happen to us, the search began magic pill and almighty doctor. Various therapies have been tried, but no significant results have been observed. After two years of fruitless actions and suffering, we met psychologists who explained to us: the problem must be solved with active participation all family. We are very grateful to these specialists, because they believed that the main thing is family relationships and faith in victory.

The whole family has changed with the needs of our child. The expression "Dad, mom, me - sport family' has become our motto.

Together we learned to do everything again. We started with sports, with elementary exercises, which were very difficult for our son, and for us, his parents. The whole family has changed with the needs of our child.
Thanks to Aldiyar, we have learned a lot. The expression “Dad, mom, I am a sports family” has become our motto. because exercise stress and games in the circle of the team helped Aldiyar reduce hyperactivity, remove bodily stiffness, resolve behavioral issues, see and perceive others, get rid of aggression, establish visual contact, and forget all motor stereotypes.

It was a very long and difficult journey with a cry of despair and tears of joy. The worst thing was that, according to the forecasts of doctors, it was almost impossible to return speech. But Aldiyar said the first word "mom" again at the age of 9.5!

Slowly but surely, my son is moving towards a solution to the problem of getting rid of autism. And our whole family goes with him. Classes with teachers, trainers and specialists continue daily. Aldiyar has achieved significant results in the field of socialization and interaction with people. Now he is studying at school as part of the Every Child Deserves a School project, and every day he reveals more and more. After all, he so needs communication with peers and their correct example!

My son loves traveling and hiking. Aldiyar has good household skills. In addition, he is fond of sports, excellent in skating, rollerblading, skiing can swim, ride a horse, learn to play team games. Our child is a big worker. Everything that is given to a normative child is easy, autistic children are extremely difficult. Such children, their mentors and parents are real heroes, every minute, every second they are fighting for a full life!

"School and communication in the team bear fruit"

Arina - Nail's mother

Nail before three years was an ordinary kid, as it seemed to me. The only thing that bothered me was the lack of speech. The fact is that we have a family of doctors and what is growing in our family special child We realized almost immediately.

Nail spoke late, at the age of four. At the same time, he did not behave like all children. He was out of control, completely disobedient. Our dad did not want to believe until the very end that there was something serious with his son. But in the end, when the diagnosis was made, everything was taken for granted by us. This is our child, and we love him for who he is, with all the pluses and minuses.

At school, Nail learned to add, subtract, multiply and divide more complex numbers, while studying only in the first grade.

He spoke in separate phrases, not addressed to anyone in particular, and did not conduct a dialogue at all. But despite this, the son was easily given counting and reading. Already at the age of four he knew all the letters, by the age of five he read well, and at the age of 6 he read like an adult, freely and fluently. At the age of five, he already added and subtracted in his mind double figures. I didn’t explain multiplication and division to him, I just had a desk at home on which the multiplication table was painted using the addition method. He liked it, and as a result, he quickly mastered it himself. But already at school, Nail learned to add, subtract, multiply and divide more complex numbers, while studying only in the first grade.

On the first commission before school, he learned M. Lermontov's verse with his grandmother and retold the prehistory of the appearance of this poem. And all this at the age of 6.

He did not like to write and did it carelessly and clumsily. But already by the second grade, through much effort, he reached good results. Nailu's poems were always easy. He reads a lot both at home and at school. His memory is well trained. On the first commission before school, he learned with his grandmother the verse of M. Lermontov “The poet, a slave of honor, died ...” and even retold the background to the appearance of this poem. And all this at the age of 6.

With music from my son special relationship. Often she annoyed him, but in the car he always asked to turn it on himself. And I was surprised when he reached out to play the instruments. Most importantly, he likes it, he enjoys playing the dombra and piano. At school, in the gym, he is afraid of the whistle and the sound of the bell for the lesson, so he does not attend physical education classes. Although he loves physical activity.

Of course, we had and still have various difficulties, without it in any way. Nail has always been active child, at the age of 3-4 years he was simply uncontrollable, constantly running away. And it doesn't matter where and for absolutely no reason. Nothing stopped him. He just ran down the street, regardless of passing traffic, the presence or absence of traffic lights. Now, at the age of 8, he can run and run across the street himself at a traffic light, but a certain fear has already appeared that does not allow him to run away as before.

Another trait of our son that we seriously had to deal with, especially with the beginning of schooling, is his restlessness and emotional lability. Nail at the lesson could explode in no time, not sit still, raise his voice, stand up, walk, etc. The first year of school was especially hard. Anything happened. And after the first summer holidays When he again weaned from school, there was a feeling that we were going through everything again and again.

Adaptation in the team did not cause any particular problems, of course, there were skirmishes, he offended a couple of girls at first, who were especially quiet and calm. But later, Nail recognized the whole class, and everything smoothed out. Nevertheless, there were problems at the holidays: where it was noisy, he became annoyed at loud sounds, and at competitions - I always wanted to win.

In the class, a certain emotional contact and affection with other children. You have no idea how important this is for its development!

Some of the children who came to the class this year were wary of Nail at first. Well, this is understandable - he is allowed a lot, which others cannot. Now everyone is used to it. Classmates protect and always worry about Nail. And for me, this attitude gives me hope that my son will integrate into society. He has friends in the class - Azat and Nuradel. They play together at recess, and their son often remembers them at home. That is, he forms a certain emotional contact and attachment with other children. You have no idea how important this is for its development!

Everyone helped us: our teacher, director, head teacher and all correctional specialists. If not for their well-coordinated work, it would be very difficult to achieve the results that we have now! A lot of bumps have been stuffed in these two years, and how many more will have to be stuffed. But I'm sure we can handle it!

Of course, the school and communication in the team is bearing fruit. Nail has become sociable, he tries to conduct a dialogue correctly, learns to make friends and comprehend everything new! These simple things seem pretty natural to other kids, but for kids like my son, it's the painstaking process of finding awareness and finding one's place in the world.

#EveryChildDeservesSchool
#ӘrBalaMektepkeLayykty #EveryChildWantsToBeIncluded #Bolashakcharity #Autism #WCB2018

Read about how to educate and educate children in Kazakhstan on our pages

World Autism Awareness Day is dedicated to...

My son, like any long-awaited a little boy, was loved and spoiled. As befits a child with beautiful eyes, chubby cheeks, small heels and those cute folds on the hands. Well, you know what I mean. Before he was a year old an ordinary guy with his usual needs and developed according to generally accepted norms. But, having celebrated his one and a half year anniversary, I began to notice striking differences in the behavior of my son from the children around him. It so happened that all the peers, as if by agreement, began to actively give birth. And, communicating with them, you involuntarily notice that ours is kind of good and quick-witted, but does not do what others do.

Mothers, on the other hand, love to demonstrate to society how diligently they are engaged in the early development of their children. Already one year old girl from the playground, he shows his mother “to fly”, “like a dog”, and even points his age with his finger. Mine doesn't do that. Mine doesn't turn around at all when I call him and doesn't look up from playing when his dad comes home from work. Showing me how old he is or repeating “moo” after the cow is out of the question. And of course I think that I bad mother, I do little with the child and do not give him what these active mothers from the playground give their children. And heightened by feeling guilt, start buying educational materials, coloring books, books, plasticine, Doman's cards and everything-everything-everything. But he just doesn't want to read a book with me. He doesn't want to look at the pictures. He doesn't want to repeat after me. He wants to be given a damn tablet, spin the wheel from the car or run up and down the room.

Did I guess that the child was not all right? Of course. I'm not blind. But in a year and a half, none of the specialists at scheduled examinations told me that it could be autism.

Moreover, his dad also spoke very late and even today is not the most sociable person. Therefore, we thought that the baby "went to dad" and he just has such a character. Such an introverted child. Well, everyone cheered that "it's a boy" and "then he will talk kaaaaaak." And so they lived, expecting that this moment would come one day to everyone's joy.

In two and a half years, the moment did not come and there was no point in hoping that everything would “dissolve itself”. And someone suggested that I go to a child psychiatrist, because it all looked like autism. Autism - familiar word but I don't know exactly what it means. I start googling and my hair turns gray little by little. I didn't know anything about it, but all the symptoms, all the signs fit so well into the description of my child's behavior. Even before the visit to the child psychiatrist, I knew that the diagnosis would be confirmed - my son has autism.

From that day began the record of our new life. We had to come to terms with the fact that our child is “not like that” and, perhaps, will always be different from other people. But it was very strange to realize that all this time there was a parallel world next to us - the world of people with an autistic spectrum of development. And there were a lot of such people. Why is this world parallel? Yes, because no one seems to know about it. It feels like a society of “normal” deliberately shuts off everything that differs from their norm and does not want to notice people who are uncomfortable for them.

People with autism are uncomfortable. I have already understood it. After all, my child interferes with the children on the playground. He can't speak and can't play with others. Therefore, he can sprinkle someone with sand or push him away from the toy. I can't just walk into the park, equip the kid with a shovel, and throw it in the sandbox while enjoying my Facebook feed on my phone. No, I have to carefully monitor my little one so that he does not bring discomfort to anyone.

Other people don't know what autism is, just like I didn't know just two years ago. And, when my child on the street happens " bad behavior”, compassionate aunts begin to give their advice or shake their heads “what an ill-mannered boy you have”. One even insisted “calm down the child – this is not allowed!”. And I think you can't jump to conclusions if you don't know a damn thing about us. And about the path that we have already traveled ...

After all, they told me what autism is, and how to deal with it - I had to find out for myself. Because we do not have a special polyclinic where you will come with an autistic child and there he will be “cured”. It is necessary to find out contacts through word of mouth good specialists. You have to wander around the city, and even around the country, handing over different analyzes by doing research, consulting and learning different opinions. Because there is no single way to normalize your child. Because they are all different and each has its own "breakdown" or its own peculiarity.

And you just try everything. Because a gluten-free diet has helped someone. Micropolarization, Tomatis therapy, ABA therapy helped someone. Someone was helped by vitamins that were prescribed at the medical genetic center after a blood test for everything, everything, everything. And you do not know what exactly can help your child. Therefore, you go to different centers for classes with a speech therapist, psychologist, defectologist, speech therapist, sensory integration therapist. Do you know what a sensory integration therapist is? You now know a lot. Because now you live only for your child. You know about diets, vitamins, behavioral therapy, and where they do the best EEG in town. Because no one but you is interested in pulling your child out. Everything falls on your shoulders.

Is it difficult to be a mother of a child with autism? Highly. It is difficult when in four years he has never once looked into your eyes and said “mom”. You are ready to give everything for this "mom" alone. It’s hard when he doesn’t pester you with constant questions and doesn’t tell you how his day went. He doesn't feed you sand muffins or act like a "normal" kid. It's hard when he doesn't imitate his dad. It is difficult that you cannot live according to the "standard scheme".

You can’t put him in a kindergarten in two or three years and go about your business or go to work. Because an ordinary kindergarten will become just a storage room for him, because he needs intensive classes. You must devote yourself to him completely, take him to classes, walk with him on fresh air and help him play with other kids on the playground.

And in the evenings you still have to do extra work with him. Because, as experts say, "the main work is the work of parents with a child." He also becomes attached to you and cannot stay with others for a long time. And it's hard for you because your life really doesn't belong to you anymore.

Whether you get a manicure on your hands depends on whether someone can sit with their son for two hours. Whether you see someone from the non-autistic crowd depends on whether someone can babysit their son. Because you don't want to go to a restaurant with friends with him. Because he does not know how to sit quietly at the table and draw with pencils. Hike to any public place with a child, it can easily turn into hard labor if he is in a bad mood.

Yes, it is unrealistically difficult with an autistic child. But I am incredibly grateful to him. For making me better. For making me more patient. For opening my eyes to another world - the world of people with special needs. And opened my heart for more more love. Now I understand how hard it is for everyone who is raising a child with developmental disabilities, or has a disability himself. And now I will never bashfully look away from a man in a wheelchair. I will never use the word "down" as a curse and I will never judge a mother whose child is lying on the floor. shopping center in hysterics. Because this child may have autism, not "bad parenting", and this mother is having the hardest time of all. After all, you will go past this hysteria, and she has to live with it.

Few people now know what autism really is. They say that "the child is autistic." Believe me, the child is not suffering - he is fine. And he has no problems with the outside world. We have problems with the perception of such people. And I want us, society, to become a little more tolerant of those who are a little different from the rest. I want mothers to teach their children that there are children who are not like them, but you also need to play with these children, because they are good. I really want to stop feeling the constant feeling that we are in the way. I really want to apologize less for my child's behavior, because I finally see understanding in the eyes of others.

We can handle everything. We will "pull out" our child. And everyone who takes care of their children will cope. After all, the sooner you start, the better the results. We just need understanding from society. We will do the rest ourselves.

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Elena Ignatieva has two sons. The eldest son, who is now 16 years old, has autism. It was for him that a special kindergarten, Kids’ Estate, was created, which today is attended by 70 children. different nationalities.

- Elena, how did it happen that you opened your own kindergarten?

– 13 years ago there were far fewer kindergartens and schools where a child with special needs could study and communicate with ordinary children. And now there are not so many places where such children are treated with due attention and understanding. To create an environment for my son, I opened child Center where children studied foreign languages. Started with groups early development, and two years later we already had a real kindergarten, which is developing and functioning to this day. We currently have 70 students enrolled. Of these, 4 are with autism, and this is a lot.

Why do so many people oppose inclusion?

– In a class of 30 students, one child with special needs, if not approached correctly, can destroy the entire studying proccess. I understand parents who come to school and say: "The child interferes with other children's studies, because the teacher is constantly distracted by him." Therefore, it is very important to create conditions under which ordinary children can study in peace, and a child with special needs gets what he came for. To do this, you need to understand what exactly its features are and how to deal with them. For example, a child with cerebral palsy needs an accessible physical environment - railings, special stairs, ramps. But with children who have mental disabilities, it is much more difficult. They appear healthy on the outside, but many forms of group learning are out of reach for them. Nevertheless, we set the task of integrating the majority of these children into society, and this task is feasible.

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What should I do if my child refuses to interact with other children?

– This happens often in children with autism, but it is quite realistic to find those types of activities in which the child can be part of a group – first under the supervision of a tutor, and then independently. It is important to follow the interest of the child - let's say he likes sports activities and in order to study together with other guys, he is able to wait for his turn - this is also communication. The first step is to establish trust between the child and the adult and maintain that trust. And then there is constant work in the zone of proximal development of the child. We always rely on the individual capabilities of the child, taking into account his strengths and so-called deficits. After all, it happens that a child does not have a developmental lag, but he does not withstand the rhythm group work, noise load or it has sensory features. Therefore, at the very beginning of work, we carry out diagnostics of all children in the garden in order to determine the resources of each child, his starting conditions. And then we build such a training program so that, relying on strengths, help the child overcome or compensate for weaknesses. Here, the coordinated work of various specialists is very important - a psychologist, defectologist, speech therapist, methodologist.

Does the child always need an accompaniment?

- Not always. But there are children in whose behavior there are undesirable elements. To ignorant people it may seem that the child is ill-mannered or spoiled, but this is not so. Now the theory of mirror neurons is gaining ground. Mirror neurons in the brain are responsible for a person's ability to imitate, empathize, and in children, for the ability to learn through imitation. In children with autism, these neurons are not developed. If for a normotypical child the most natural thing is to learn by imitating adults, copying their behavior, then autistic child such natural form learning is not available, he just does not understand how to behave. Hence arises various forms unwanted behavior. For example, a child with autism may come up and hit another child. To some, this action will seem like aggression, but in fact it is important to understand what is behind this gesture. Often this is an invitation to fellowship. The task of a teacher or tutor is to replace unwanted forms of behavior with socially acceptable ones, and then the educational process begins.

Source: Photo: Facebook Elena Ignatieva

It's no secret that children with autism often have sensory imbalances, such as being hypersensitive to sounds. Even the usual turning of the page sounds like a wild rattle to them. But visually, such a child can perceive information well. Therefore we use various ways visual reinforcement for these children. The most interesting thing is that it works well for other children too!

My son immediately went to the second grade, but for the entire first year of study I sat at his desk with him instead of a tutor. He read and wrote well, but in the middle of the lesson, if he got tired, he could get up and go somewhere, take an eraser or felt-tip pen he liked in a pencil case from a classmate. They looked at him like he was an alien.

– How to explain to ordinary children what autism is so that they do not offend special classmate?

- Little children do not need to explain anything at all - they understand everything themselves. For example, in our group there is a girl, let's call her Masha. She is 6 years old, she is just now starting to speak, very quiet, with huge eyes. So we teach other children to communicate with her, take care of her, put her in a pair during classes. With our music teacher, she prepares individual numbers for the holidays and loves to perform with everyone. The younger children themselves come up, take her by the hand, say: "Let's go!" Seniors take care. If the child asks questions: “Why does Masha behave like this? Why is she silent or screaming or not playing like other children?”, we try to explain that we are all different. One likes one thing, the other likes another. This can be explained by the example of different nationalities: here someone speaks English, and someone speaks French, someone has light skin, and someone has dark skin. Being different is okay! This is inclusion. In this, by the way, the lessons of social intelligence are very helpful.

- How do you feel about publicity? Now many mothers start blogs where they write about their special children.

– Everything is very individual. While the child is small, this can be justified, but in the case of adolescents, the issue is very complex and ambiguous. Many people watch a girl with Down syndrome who became a model, they say how brave she is, but few will say that she is beautiful. And there will always be people who will write nasty things in the comments. Will it do her any good? Alas, very often parents strive for publicity not for the sake of their children, but for their own sake.

I did not talk about my son and his problems for a long time. At first it was very difficult. And when I accepted the situation, I began to comment very briefly and restrained. This corresponded to the request of my child, who himself wanted to be better understood and considered with his features. Now the situation has changed again, because his personal request has changed. I recommend parents to be extremely careful in public relations of their children with special needs, so as not to harm them. Although it is still necessary to share experience. I want to write a book about my son. Perhaps my experience will be useful to other mothers who find themselves in a similar situation.

– What will you write about?

“I kept a detailed diary all the years. She wrote down everything that happens there, even the microscopic achievements of her son. I was his radar, which received information in the world and transformed it into a form accessible to him, and transmitted back signals. Each of his achievements was significant, for example, he learned to put on socks - for a child with autism, this is a victory! So we are moving forward. When a child is not able to imitate, the task of an adult is to give him knowledge even about elementary things through learning. It is to teach! This is a very difficult and slow process. When my son was 9 years old, the youngest was born, and I had a completely different experience, I call it the experience of healthy motherhood, so I have something to compare with. I think my book will be about the period early childhood before the birth of his brother. I remember once we had dinner with him, and younger son slept in the next room. And now the son says: “Mom, how good it is that I exist! Here Petya is still small, he does not realize this. And I already know that I am!” Just Bible truth in the mouth of a child! At such moments, you experience happiness, and insight and the presence of God nearby.

– How not to lose heart when things don’t go as well as we would like?

- It's hard to say ... Love a child! When you love, you accept him for who he is. Those moments of happiness that you experience next to a sick child can hardly be overestimated. All mothers know this - and babies with autism, and with Down syndrome, and simply with physical illnesses. These children have so much purity, light, life force… When you resist with all your might, you think: “I’ll do this again, and the child will recover, the disease will go somewhere,” then eventually, sooner or later, bitter disappointment sets in. Because nothing is going anywhere. But that doesn't mean you can't be happy.