Why do men leave women reasons. Man is the main source of money

“Love is the main value”, “love conquers everything”, “ true love does not pass, ”I can continue this whole series of sugary phrases that we memorize in childhood.

No, I'm not a cynic. I believe in true love. Moreover, I even believe that I myself married my soul mate. But I also believe that love is not everything. After all, before my eyes there are hundreds of examples when truly loving couples got divorced anyway. Yes, these were real feelings, but, alas, they never managed to save them.

As a result, the relationship ends, and every second woman in such cases asks only one question: “What went wrong?”.

After all, everything was perfect, both of you were more than invested in a relationship, but suddenly - bang! – and everything went down the drain. Why did love end? I have seven answers.

He doesn't feel that you appreciate him.

If at least once in your life you were interested in male psychology(at least superficially), then you probably know: men do not just want, they crave recognition. If they do not receive it, their existence becomes meaningless, and the soul simply dies. Well, not everything is so dramatic, but, seriously, never forget: the feeling of being needed is what keeps a man in his relationship with a woman. If he understands that you do not appreciate him, then no matter how much he loves you, he will leave.

And it's not about just saying "thank you". You must really, from the bottom of your heart appreciate everything that he does for you, support his goals, ambitions and desires. Yes, perhaps you will not coincide in some way, and it will seem to you that there is simply nothing to praise him for. But this is a mistake, because whatever the outcome, his original intentions were positive.

When I was working on my books or articles, I talked about this topic with countless men - and the vast majority admitted to me that they left their lovers as soon as they no longer felt needed. They just didn't like the relationship anymore. End of story.

You've changed

Of course, when two hearts begin to beat in unison, life around begins to change. You become family to each other, your relationship is more stable, but this does not mean at all that now you can no longer try.

I'll explain. If now your relationship is radically different from how it began, then it's time to think about it. Maintaining the "memory of the past" allows you to keep the spark in the relationship, those special feelings that you experienced when you first fell in love with each other. The brain will remember all those emotions when you just got to know each other, and accordingly fuel your interest in a partner in five, ten and twenty years.

Another important sub-point here is also banal self-care - something that many of us neglect when they begin to believe that love has already survived all the trials. Of course, no one is asking you to always be in full dress (it's okay to relax), but still, don't forget about yourself. Emotionally, you yourself will feel more confident, and your partner will constantly feel interest in you.

In a word, of course, it is not necessary to go headlong into the 80s. But still, try every time to draw a parallel between how you behaved when he fell in love with you, and how you behave now. Men forgive us aging or overweight after pregnancy. What they do not forgive is apathy.

He feels that you are unhappy with him.

This is due to the basic need of a man to be needed. Roughly speaking, the logic is this: if you are unhappy with him, then you do not need him. Therefore, he will leave you - no matter how beautiful you are.

If, on the contrary, you appreciate everything that he does for you, he begins to feel his own importance. Moreover, he begins to feel the need for development in order to be even better. And that's always a good sign.

On the other hand, don't expect it to be his job to make you happy. Then it will be a substitution of concepts. Your feelings are your feelings. His task, from his point of view, is to help ensure that his presence or any actions are significant for you in the most positive sense. In other words, if you are equally happy both with him and without him, he will leave.

Your communication is a complete mess.

If there is not a single good note in communication between partners, the relationship begins to seem like a continuous burden. As a rule, this happens when both partners consider their union as the only possible source happiness, instead of feeding on positivity from outside and bringing it into the house.

Believe me, a woman who deliberately waits to be made happy becomes a burden for a man.

There are almost no neurotics among men, because their logic is extremely simple: you need to avoid the bad and develop the good. Yes, everyone has hard times - it's naive to think that your couple will never face them. But if negativity and eternal problems have become your daily reality, you need to take action. Otherwise, you will break up very soon.

you have different goals

And do not underestimate this factor. Perhaps, once upon a time, you decided that “love will survive all obstacles,” but here it is important to understand that different values ​​\u200b\u200bare one of the most insurmountable obstacles. In my lifetime, many couples broke up, and many - because of such obvious reason which both chose to ignore. Do not doubt: sooner or later it will make itself felt.

One is mine good friend left his beloved a couple of days before he was going to propose to her. The girl was beautiful, but, alas, she was too fond of spending money on all sorts of little things, and my friend, on the contrary, loved to save money, because he felt stable only when he had at least something in his soul. And they, of course, could have compromised - but no one wanted to give in.

The difference in life goals can manifest itself in everything: in the desire or unwillingness of children, in their number, in the choice of urban or rural housing, in religion, and so on. If you don't communicate your values ​​up front and agree on a compromise solution, you're likely to fail. Be realistic and don't think everything will work itself out.

You keep trying to change it

"I will change him" - this is perhaps the most big mistake all women who are in a relationship. No matter how delicate you are, he will still feel that you are trying to judge him and mold him into someone he, by definition, is not, or even worse, someone he simply does not want to be.

I do not argue, you and I have a phenomenal ability to change our lovers. But still, do not forget to give your man his own space so that he himself can develop the best in himself. Do not put pressure on him, do not grumble and do not “nag” - a permanent sense of guilt has never had a good effect on a relationship.

You are dependent

If you are emotionally dependent on your man, expect trouble. As a rule, such relationships very quickly become so toxic that they simply explode. Believe me, it will not be pleasant for anyone to constantly serve you as a vest, and even more so for a man who, as you know, appreciates his own time and space. In addition, if you depend on him for everything, he will feel too much pressure. And he will leave. Won't stand.

Emotional abuse is very big sin. Appreciate autonomy in relationships, develop yourself to bring something new into your union. Men are not always able to explain that they do not like something. They just feel it and leave.

Summary

And yet, if you feel that none of these reasons suits your particular situation, maybe you should think about the fact that he just didn’t love you enough? Finally, human relations not always amenable to logic or any intelligible explanation. But what is known for sure is that if people really love each other, they will fight for their union.

Just love, but that's not all. It is impossible to exclude from the relationship such factors as compatibility, characters, values. You need to invest in your feelings every day. Once you stop doing it, everything will fall apart.

Remember: men don't just leave. They leave at a time when nothing can be saved.

Sabrina Alexis is a coach, psychologist, columnist and author of He's Not That Complicated.

The happiness of a woman is the happiness of being with the man you love and building with him. family relationships. They say that each of us on this earth has its own half, and it makes sense to search for it if you don’t want to one day experience such feelings as disappointment, devastation, bitterness. Therefore, no matter how paradoxical and even defiant the question from a woman may sound: How to leave a man?”, it is quite natural if a woman wants to find her true and only soul mate.

Age, public opinion and the need to “have a mate”, to love, make each of us at a certain moment be especially active in search of a life partner. Naturally, there are very few lucky women who met their male ideal on the first try. Basically, women have to meet a man, study him, understand that this is “not yours” and part several times, to the bitter end.

Wherein step by step plan, designed by a woman to break up with a man - "kick him off" depends on how close they were. At the same time, simply friendly or officially confirmed by the state family relations can equally end in parting. However, there are rules that work equally in the most different situations and under various conditions.

So, by all means?

If a woman understands that further development relationship does not make sense, she begins to reduce them to nothing. This can happen slowly: then the woman does not answer calls, she is lost for a long time in work, affairs, traveling, forcing the man to gradually wean from her. However, this option can have the opposite effect, when a man’s passion for distance with the “object of his adoration” only intensifies. Then the second, control option works - “Black Monday!” Actually, the day of the week may be different, but always with delicate and exhaustive explanations. To say that "we cannot become married couple”, you need to correctly, categorically and definitely REGRET about it! In no case should a man feel that, breaking off relations with him, a woman experiences joy or relief. This will hurt him and possibly complicate the situation significantly. Technical subtleties, by all means, are not limited to rules of conduct.

Still, for example, you can "part so that you return", and so, "so that - forever." In the first case, we are dealing with the technique of a woman who decided to play parting in order, by the way, to aggravate relations. In the second case, when “forever” - one cannot do without a sometimes difficult sequence for a woman: the decision to part with a man should not be repeatedly discussed and questioned.

While the fair sex is looking for answers to a question that is offensive to everyone " How to leave a man? (according to the rules or without, but preferably painlessly)”, representatives strong half humanity is tormented by "why". Arising first "why" - Why me? Why did this happen to us? Why can't we be together? - will definitely be summarized by the question "In general?"

Let's immediately exclude cases when a man drinks, beats, "tyrannizes". Here itself antisocial behavior pseudo-men explains why do women leave men. “Styrism” in the family on the part of the stronger half, as a rule, is not particularly forgiven by women brought up under the influence of feminism.

However, when a man is "decent in all respects", the question " Why women leave men? makes many people wonder. It would seem that the woman in this case is the most disinterested party in breaking up relations. But ... no one is immune from this. Probably the time has come. A woman can be self-sufficient when, professionally and financially, a man ceases to be the defining, most important link for her. disappeared inner fear"I'll be lost without him! Where am I alone with the children! It is hardly worth commenting on whether this is good or bad, continuing numerous discussions about the dangers of feminist ideas. This relationship already exists, although men are trying to take their leadership positions in terms of material security, financial independence.

Well, the third, most common, common reason, why do women leave men, is the completeness, exhaustion of relationships. The need to love and be loved, to be interesting and to be interested in another person - in any case, will manifest itself, no matter how it is drowned out.

Tatiana Sinotova

Why do men leave the women they love.

They say that both are always to blame for the breakup of a relationship. In fact, the way it is, but usually the actions of one of the partners are a response to the actions or words of the second.

Why is a man willing to end a relationship? What can happen so that the representative of the stronger sex refuses the woman to whom he previously had feelings?

1. Female cheating

The betrayal of one of the partners is the collapse of any relationship. But, according to statistics, women often try to forgive and start all over again. Do they succeed? A completely different question. But men are categorical in this issue And they will never be able to forgive the betrayal of their beloved.

2. Did not agree on the characters

A phrase that can be heard in almost any divorce. Sometimes people say this, not wanting to talk about true reasons. And in fact, this is often the case. It seems that everything is fine in a relationship, but often quarrels and scandals out of the blue can get even the most patient. Unfortunately, most often the initiator of such quarrels is a woman. Young people cannot find a compromise, as a result they part.

3. Lost interest

The candy-bouquet period has a peculiarity to end and then young people look at each other with an already ordinary, so to speak, mundane look. Something in the character of the partner begins to frankly annoy, something seems ridiculous or strange. But the worst thing is when you lose interest. A man is able to part with a woman if she has become uninteresting to him: as in terms of intimate relationships as well as in terms of spiritual intimacy. A phrase that is great for this situation: Love and sex is a gourmet's dream.

4. Unrestrained or inappropriate behavior

Does your girlfriend in society or even alone with you allow herself to use foul language, humiliates her partner in the eyes of his friends or acquaintances, can she react inadequately to some remark or even a simple phrase? Such behavior causes only disgust and a desire to run away from such a person.

5. A man is the main source of money

It is not the getter, but the source. I want that handbag or these shoes, buy a new dress, give me a fur coat, etc. I want, give, give, give ... Gradually, a man begins to feel like a "purse", since he is needed solely to pay for women's whims and whims. This "love" has no future.

6. Persistent desire for marriage

Yes, most young people are afraid to legitimize relationships. While the stage of falling in love is going on or young people decide to try to live together, a man feels freedom behind him. But as soon as it's time to come, that you need to put stamps in your passport, then not everyone is ready for this. Therefore, if a girl begins to insist on marriage, more and more conversations about family and children are heard from her lips - some men simply run away, as they are not ready for responsibility.

7. The woman stopped caring for herself

once chic and lush hair increasingly began to be gathered in a skinny ponytail or braided into a shapeless bun. Heels were replaced by sneakers, skirts and dresses were transformed into jeans. daily home clothes became a sizeless t-shirt and sweatpants with bulging knees... Of course, practicality and convenience should always be in everything. Of course, a man becomes an ordinary man. But you can not turn off the woman in yourself! After all, if you stopped looking after yourself, you focused exclusively on everyday issues - who needs it or who is interested in it? It's not surprising that the man will go look for the one in which there will be zest and femininity.
Take care and appreciate each other! Strong relationships requires daily input and reciprocity!

This question is often asked by abandoned women themselves and people close to them, trying to get them out of a stressful state, but the answer to it is ambiguous and individual in each case.
If a woman is abandoned by a man, this does not mean that it is she who is to blame. Maybe? the reason is in his internal unresolved problems, complexes, external life circumstances or something else. Men are not very fond of solving problems, neither their own nor those of others, therefore, if you need to solve them for a relationship with a woman, it’s easier for men to just leave.
Sometimes a man himself does not know why he leaves a woman, he does not even bother to think about it. It just does so, driven by mood or momentary impulse. Such a man does not value not only relationships, but also the women themselves, and people in general. It is not worth regretting the breakup of such a relationship.
Some men themselves are afraid of being abandoned, because they were previously abandoned by women, and this undermined their self-esteem, self-confidence and hope for a successful outcome of the relationship. These men at some point are the first to leave the woman so that she does not have time to leave them.

There is a category of men who, in principle, are not going to build relationships with a woman, either long-term, or any in general and in general. They just communicate, have fun, enjoy a woman, but at the slightest hint from a woman about the stability and solidity of the relationship, the regularity of some requests, etc., they immediately retreat.
There are situations when a man initially did not intend to leave a woman, but in the process of a relationship, he cannot withstand her claims and meet her requirements. He sees that "does not pull" and flees.
There are other, purely subjective reasons for the parting of a man with a woman. They are difficult to foresee, and even to predict, and even more so to prevent. The fact that a man has left does not always mean that he does not love a woman, although in most cases this is the case. But some men simply do not know how to build relationships, fight for a woman, care, so they leave. Instead of loving a woman further, they leave her life, sometimes continuing to love her inside themselves. Yes, it’s easier for some - to love in dreams, in imagination, in memories, in thoughts, and not in reality, and live either alone or with your mother, who does not expect anything and does not demand, and with whom you do not need to take responsibility .
A man's escape from relationships and from love is becoming commonplace today, so women should not be executed and blame themselves for everything. After analyzing the situation and your behavior, you need to draw conclusions, calm down and move on with your life. And it is not necessary to try to return this man, maybe he is not worth it, and you do not need it at all. You may even be lucky that he left. With a mutual desire, try to communicate at a distance, living separately, this will help put everything in its place - either you stay together or not.

“I can’t help the fact that I fell out of love with her.”

If a man throws woman So this is a big blow for her. She perceives this as the end of the world, waiting for at least some explanation for this, trying to understand why this could happen.

But even people who are close to each other can not always explain themselves. A man, most often hurting a woman, feels embarrassed, ashamed of this and wants to leave quickly without any explanation. And the woman continues to hope that their relationship will be restored, and will continue. For a woman, this is a shock, the world around seems to stop, the sea of ​​tears begins to storm, the treacherous pain inside burns her, her hands drop, self-esteem drops, and her legs do not want to go further, because there is nowhere to go.

The reasons why a man may decide to break up with a woman may be as follows:

• he does not love her and never did, he just wanted to have fun and have a good time.
• feelings were killed by everyday problems.
• could not stand the jealousy, tired of constant scandals. The woman stopped calling him warm feelings instead, she just started to annoy him.
• if a woman is to blame herself, because she cheated on a man, rarely anyone can understand and forgive such a betrayal.
• a woman was with a man only because of his money, he understood this, and accordingly left.
• he found another, better than the one that is, he saw the future with this novelty and wants to build his life in a new way.
• the woman tired him, and in general the family is too tiring, but for him the main thing is a career.
• if a woman wore a mask, pretended to be another, at first she loved him in every way, did not make scandals, communicated with his friends and relatives, but at some point she gets bored and the mask flies off her face, under which the true face is shown. The man realizes that the wrong person is next to him and leaves.
• does not want responsibility, does not want children from her, does not see any future.

Telling a person “I don’t love you” is much more difficult than just starting to ignore and gradually move away from him. This applies to both men and women. But, it so happened that men are supposed to be gentlemen and they should not offend women. If a woman says to a man “I don’t love you”, then she is usually perceived as a proud and confident heartbreaker, but if a man says such words, then in the eyes of a woman he will certainly look like a goat, but he certainly does not want to. That's why a real man will make the woman leave him herself, which is a logical solution for someone who ignores you. But if a woman does not understand this, then tears begin.

1. Do you try to stop a man who is leaving you?

No matter how the man tries to explain himself, but if he did not have love for the lady, then all his words are empty arguments. In this case, you should not try to hold him, call him, anyway you will not be satisfied with his explanation.

Do not call him, do not write, do not arrange meetings and scandals. Although maybe he just decided to check how much you love him, then, literally in a week, he himself will want to meet you, curiosity will prevail.

And if he does not contact you, then he has finally and irrevocably decided to leave you. But even if he calls, then think about it already, but do you need him like that? Think about the seriousness of his decision and, in general, about his feelings for you, will a person who loves hurt his beloved? The conclusion suggests itself, but it's up to you.

2. Poll: how do women experience a breakup?

Svetlana, 24 years old, manager: “My beloved man fell out of love with me in one day. Everything happened so suddenly that for a long time I could not understand what had happened, I could not believe what he was saying. In one beautiful morning he woke up and said that he didn’t love me, that he didn’t feel anything for me at all, he said that he was bad, but I was good and that I needed to look for another the right man and build a family with him. I couldn't understand why this could happen. I still don't believe that feelings like this can quickly go away, for no reason. I loved him very much and love him, I want to be only with him, I see my future only with him. I have no idea what to do now, how to continue to live, how to behave. I cry all the time, this is the first time this has happened to me, I have never loved anyone like him.”

Ekaterina, 31 years old, doctor: “My man left me. It seemed to him that he was in the wrong place and was in the wrong place and with the wrong one, that his feelings were dissolved. But he does not leave me, he wants to communicate with me and be friends. I feel like he sometimes reaches out to me, although it may seem to me, I don’t understand what is happening at all, and I can’t switch from those relationships that were, to those that are now, I’m confused. We lived with him civil marriage and then suddenly such a break in relations. Something incomprehensible is going on in my soul, and I don’t know how to get out of this chaos, it’s hard for me.

Victoria, 20 years old, stylist: “Today a month has passed since my man left me. He just left me, did not really explain anything, only said that I was his mistake. He packed his things and went to his parents. All week I called him, his parents, wrote SMS, came to their house, but all unanswered. I cried endlessly, my heart was simply bursting with pain, even sedative pills did not save me from hysteria. Now I don't live in real life, I just see dreams, because only there we are together with him. The world around me collapsed. But there is still hope inside that one day he will return, I am ready to forgive him, I want to be with him, I cannot live without him.

3. What goes on in a man's head before leaving a woman?

Anatoly, 35 years old, legal consultant: “I have been living with my woman for 7 years, we are both already over 30, we had beautiful and romantic relationship. But suddenly a thought arose in my head: “She’s not the one!”. I let this thought develop and now it is very difficult. I remember the phrase: "We are responsible for those we have tamed." She doesn't know about it yet, but she probably guesses and feels it. I feel responsible for those years that I was with her and for those empty hopes, but I don’t see a future with her, I can’t imagine her walking with me through life, I realized that I was deceiving myself and her. Now I'm scared, I'm afraid to tell her about it, because I know that it will hurt her, and I don't want to be the cause of suffering. You can cold-bloodedly tell her directly, but the thought of the wound that will arise in her after that haunts me. I don’t know what to do, but I know for sure that this cannot continue.”

Igor, 25 years old, programmer: “I leave girls, reducing relationships to an empty place. Permanent Causes avoid meeting, all sorts of trips and affairs, frequent words "I'm busy, maybe see you later, then someday." After such a girl, they usually wean themselves from communication, respectively, at this moment I inform you that it is time to end this relationship. Everything is simple and hassle-free."

Dmitry, 38 years old, technologist: “A real man is always able to make one woman happy, then another, and so on. If I'm gone, then why more words? So it must be so, so love has passed, so he left. Why else explain something, here and so everything is very clear.

4. What should a woman do next and how to live on after parting with a man?

• Just live on. At first, you can just exist, do ordinary things and try not to think about anything. Stick to your diet, don't cry or get upset. Yes, it is difficult, but over time everything will pass, and the pain will subside, be patient.
• Calm down and talk to your close friends or just kind people who can feel your situation, or who already had something similar.
• You don’t need to rave about pain, you don’t need to constantly think about it, by doing this you are killing yourself even more.
• Switch your attention to something else, watch an exciting movie or show.
• Get to bed on time. Avoid alcohol, cigarettes and tranquilizers.
• Find yourself a new hobby. It, of course, will not replace your ex-lover, but it can still distract you.
• Go to school or work, communicate with people and do not withdraw into yourself, go to the gym
• Go to a psychologist.
• Remember that time is the best medicine. Do not think about what happened, it's in the past, nothing can be changed and you just need to start rebuilding your life. There is a lot of work, so start right now, and leave the past in the past, because that's where it belongs.

“Deal with men with dignity. If he asks to be let go, then let him go. A man is the same tram, if he left, then you should not run and catch up with him, because a new one will come soon, maybe even better. A breakup is always the beginning of a new life. Imagine that you are reborn into the world, your life is Blank sheet paper, start drawing it the way you want.

Ahead of you are new men, new novels, new adventures and, of course, female happiness. If a man decided to leave, then this is how it should be, and you should not persuade him to stay, take responsibility that everything will be fine, because it definitely won’t be, so don’t waste your strength and nerves. If he does return, then it will be his personally conscious decision, do not put pressure on him and convince him, this will make it even worse. Live on, because you have only one life.

6. Is there a last chance?

Do not rush to conclusions, do not ask yourself the questions “why and why” this happened. Give him the opportunity to sort out his feelings on his own. You will analyze later, when you can think adequately, but now it is better to wait. Perhaps your relationship has really run its course, and you should be apart for a while, and perhaps leave forever.

If he still did not return to you, then do not regret it, just live on, convincing yourself that this is not the person who will be your support in life.

Believe in yourself and you will be happy.

Have you been thrown?