What is needed to match the bride. Matchmaking on the part of the bride - traditional and modern scenarios

The word “sign” comes from the word “to notice”, i.e. observe. A bunch of wedding signs came to us from time immemorial without losing its meaning. In order for a marriage to be happy, our ancestors believed in many signs: what time is best to have a wedding, what to avoid so as not to harm the newlyweds, how to protect them from an unkind look, evil intentions, etc.

Signs of matchmaking

Main characters matchmaking ritual - not even the future bride and groom, but the matchmaker and the matchmaker. After all, the success of almost the entire enterprise as a whole depends on the matchmaker. As they marry, so life will go.

Rituals associated with matchmaking were given great importance. All weddings began

precisely from the troubles of a matchmaker or matchmaker. And therefore, matchmakers had to perfectly know all the rituals and customs associated with matchmaking and weddings. They needed this knowledge in order to behave correctly during matchmaking.

Traditionally, before the matchmakers were sent to the bride's house, they were seated on a chair in the groom's house and all four legs of the chair were tied with a sash in order to better tie the wedding together. IN mandatory They threw a worn bast shoe at the matchmakers' backs, and it was necessary that the bast shoe was not just worn, but worn to the point of holes. It was then that everything should have worked out and been a great success. When the matchmaker or matchmaker went “on business,” they first had to stand in front of the icon Mother of God on your knees, wipe it off clean towel and read the wedding plot three times.

Having come to the house of the bride’s parents with the proposal “You have a product, we have a merchant,” the matchmakers had to sit opposite the door, so that their feet were on the floorboard leading straight to the exit from the house. This was a guarantee that the matchmaking would be successful.

It was not customary to immediately talk about the wedding. Having started from afar, it was necessary to gradually move on to the main subject - matchmaking. If the groom did not suit the bride’s parents (no one even thought of asking her consent), then they politely made it clear that the match was unsuitable. For example, they said that the girl was not yet old enough, or came up with some other excuse. Some did not bother themselves with explanations, but simply put a pumpkin in the matchmakers’ cart - this made it very clear that they considered the groom unsuitable.

Well, if the parents agreed to give up their “goods” for the “merchant,” then a long meeting took place, rather for show, as a result of which a decision was made on the wedding date. After this, a bridesmaid ceremony was held, the bride was shown to the matchmaker (matchmaker) so that they could evaluate all her advantages (and disadvantages), sometimes the groom himself was present at the bridegroom ceremony.

When you go to your future daughter-in-law to woo your son, let your son come in first. He does not take off his hat in front of the matchmakers until they are seated at the table. If one of the matchmakers manages to take a spoon from the bride’s house, then the son will be the master of the house and his wife will never leave him. Three months after their wedding, the spoon must be thrown into the bride’s house.

They do not match on Wednesday and Friday. This is due to the fact that Wednesday and Friday are fast days. On the one hand, it is inappropriate to think about matchmaking on the day of fasting; on the other hand, if matchmakers come, problems with food arise, which can also affect the outcome of the negotiations. (Fasting on these days is commanded because on Wednesday Judas betrayed Jesus, and on Friday Christ was crucified).

The matchmaker came to hand-shake - the door was hooked. As soon as the matchmaker or the matchmaker with the groom's relatives enter the house of the bride's parents, the door is immediately closed with a hook - so that a person who accidentally enters does not jinx the matter.

The matchmaker should not sit in the bride's house. If he sits down, things won’t work out. They also say that if the in-laws are imprisoned, then the young people’s children will be “seduns” and will get back on their feet late. If he agrees to drink, then his children will grow up to be drunkards. If they persuade her to eat, then the children will suffer from gluttony.

The last step on the way to the wedding was engagement. The parents blessed the young people, and they bowed three times before the images. As a sign of consolidation of consent to marriage, the senior elder tied the hands of the young people with a towel, the bride gave everyone scarves, woven fabric or shirts.

You need to get married in April, before last day. The advice and sign is based on the fact that getting married in May means “toiling for the rest of your life.” Its roots go back to the times when May was firmly associated with the sowing season. However, even now May matchmaking and weddings are an advantage of the city, but not the village. However, there are many May weddings, and they are not always unlucky.

. “In order to avoid quarrels in the future, a young wife, entering her husband’s house, breaks a plate. Then they step over the pieces together.” This tradition probably goes back to the days when the bride broke the pot. If it was broken, it means the bride is chaste, but if not, it means she didn’t protect herself.

When is the best time to get married?

Many people ask themselves the question: when to get married? How to choose a wedding date? Which best time for Wedding? There is no definite answer to these questions; it all depends on you. But if you still want to somehow decide, then here are some folk signs associated with the wedding date:

1. If the wedding took place on the 13th, then the marriage will be unhappy, and if on the 3, 5, 7, 9, then it will be happy.

2. Marriages concluded in the afternoon are considered more successful.

3. Misfortune will befall a young couple who announce their upcoming marriage at the end of one quarter of the year and get married at the beginning of the next.

4. Unfavorable days Wednesdays and Fridays are considered for marriage.

Here are the signs that are noticed on the wedding day:

1. Buying wedding rings, without entering the house with rings, you need to say: “For a good life, for faithful family. Amen".

2. If the bride was given roses, then the bride herself should cut off all the thorns with scissors. Be careful not to inject yourself.

3. The bride's dress should be long sleeves and closed back, long and without flowers, boutonnieres at the waist. Warn all relatives and future guests not to give piercing or cutting objects. If the bride's hem breaks during the wedding, the bride herself does not hem it.

4. Young people are seated at the table on a shaggy fur coat or sheepskin coat, with the fur turned outward. To live richly. So that young people always have money, they read the conspiracy: “Money, money, flow like a river, be in the pockets of God’s servants (names), so that they can have it until the end of their days and live richly and in abundance. The word is a key-lock.” It is read at sunrise by the bride and groom three times on the eve of the wedding, after the wedding - at sunrise it is read by them once.

5. On the wedding day, it is good for the bride and groom to plant a tree. Plant so that the trees begin to grow.

6. When leaving the church after the wedding, the bride gives out change in order to remove unnecessary troubles in her family life.

7. During a wedding, when the crowns are on or above the head, the newlyweds should not look into each other’s eyes: there will be infidelity. They also don’t look at their candles. Look at Father. wedding towel, candles are not left in church. Hidden at home - it will definitely come in handy.

8. So that the young people do not quarrel, they say on their cutlery before they sit down at the table: “Just as the church is unshakable and indestructible, faith is strong, mead is sweet, so would the slave (name) and the slave (name) be inseparable and unshakable. They couldn’t be without each other, they couldn’t live apart, not a day, not an hour from this time, from wedding table like me, the slave (name of the master), read the slander. Amen. Amen. Amen".

9. In-laws don't take salt - their children won't live, they'll go their separate ways.

10. If at the wedding one of the young people steps first to the altar, he will be the head of everything.

11. At that moment when the young people kiss, the following words must be said, then not a single separation slander will break the young ones: “How do they look at crosses when Christ's holiday, if the young people looked at each other like that, they wouldn’t have seen enough. Just as Christ loved his Mother of God, so a husband would love his wife, and a wife would love her husband. Amen".

12. The bread and salt with which parents will greet the newlyweds should not lie on the pure white part of the towel, but on its red ends, brought together (the middle of the towel will sag). The loaf with which the newlyweds are greeted cannot be bitten or broken; it can only be kissed three times. The loaf with which the newlyweds are greeted is not eaten by guests. If it is very large and cannot be eaten right away, dry the crackers and eat it with soup. Only the bride and groom eat the loaf.

13. Immediately after dividing the loaf ( wedding cake) it is customary to perform the following ritual with a veil. The groom's mother approaches the newlyweds, removes the bride's veil and ties the attributes female share: headscarf and apron. The veil is put on the head honorary witness young, and she must turn around herself three times. This ritual symbolizes the passing of the baton of life: it is assumed that it is the first witness who should marry next. After her, the veil is passed on to other girls participating in the wedding. They repeat the ritual. Then the groom's mother takes the veil and hangs it in the red corner under the icon.

14. During the wedding, the bride's shoes are stolen and a ransom is demanded for them. Holding the bride's shoe in your hands is a sign of good luck, since if the girl did not remain a wench, then she is lucky.

15. Wedding Dress, veil, shoes are not rented or sold to anyone, so if you financial difficulties, then the dress should be made inexpensively or one that can be worn on holidays.

16. Withered wedding flowers not stored.

17. To protect a young family from the evil eye, you should purchase in advance small icons of the Virgin Mary (for the bride) and Jesus Christ (for the groom) or personalized icons. On the wedding day, these icons must be hidden in the dresses of the newlyweds and left there until the end. wedding celebration.

18. Formerly husband he took his wife in his arms and carried her into the house in order to deceive the brownie: supposedly the wife was not a stranger from another family, but a born baby. Today this ritual has lost its original meaning, but the beautiful and pleasant tradition for the bride remains.

Let these folk traditions will bring you happiness and love!

IN modern world A guy and a girl most often independently decide to tie the knot. Nevertheless, many people want to conduct a classic matchmaking on the part of the groom. How is the ritual performed these days? What should it be traditional matchmaking Russian brides? We answer all questions.

Matchmaking traditions

In Rus', matchmaking was preceded by a bride-show, during which the groom and his relatives - an older brother, uncle or Godfather. The purpose of this visit was to evaluate the girl and her talents. If the groom liked her, soon matchmakers were sent to her house.

They were very careful about choosing the day for matchmaking. We didn’t go to the bride’s house on the thirteenth, on Wednesdays and Fridays. Most often they got married on Pokrov Holy Mother of God- October 14.

The groom had to rush to the girl’s house as soon as possible in order to avoid damage and the evil eye, but the matchmakers entered the house only after the third invitation. Guests were seated in the house in a special way, which demonstrated their intentions. The conversation started at first about something distant and only gradually got down to business.

According to the rules of matchmaking, the girl should have been silent and, with her back turned to the guests, raked out the ash from the stove. In order to demonstrate her family's wealth and her beauty, she could change her outfit about five times.

Matchmakers
could examine the girl very meticulously in order to find flaws and reduce the ransom. If the groom did not like the bride, he only put the glass presented to him to his lips and left it full. If the girl was to his liking, he drank the glass to the bottom. The girl, in turn, could bring a pumpkin to the disgruntled groom.

The bride's parents negotiated, and the father made the decision whether to marry her to this groom or not. Matchmakers could come to the house more than once and be refused. At this time, the girl's father was choosing the most suitable match for his daughter.

Modern matchmaking

It is significantly different from the ritual that took place before. Nowadays, few people prepare texts in verse, and the visit itself in most cases ends with the agreement of the parties.

You can go to matchmaking with the groom's parents either independently or by inviting relatives or professional matchmakers. Male matchmakers must be married, but female matchmakers must be unmarried.

How to properly match the bride to the groom's parents?

1. First, you need to discuss in advance a date and time for the visit that is convenient for the bride’s parents.
2. The guy must definitely give the girl, her mother and sisters flowers.
3. The boy's parents are preparing a gift for the girl's father and mother. Most often they give cigars, wine, elite alcohol, books, beautiful dishes, decor items, sweets. There is nothing wrong if the guy asks the girl in advance what gift to give her parents.

The groom's mother can give her future daughter-in-law some expensive gift. For example, jewelry.

Matchmaking by the bride

The bride's parents should greet the matchmakers by thoroughly cleaning the house and tidying up the yard. The home is the face of the bride, so it is important to create the most comfortable atmosphere possible. They try to place the dowry in a prominent place to demonstrate the family's wealth.

Young woman
must be directly involved in preparing treats for the matchmakers. Prepared most often traditional dishes national cuisine. The bride's task is to demonstrate her culinary talents and skills. It is advisable to bake a pie or cake yourself.

The modern matchmaking scenario allows you to answer all the guests’ questions impromptu, without preparing words and poems in advance.

It is also customary to give return gifts for matchmaking to the groom's parents. A basket of fruit or sweets, wine, icon, home amulet, book, beautiful indoor flower.

The girl should dress modestly, not too flashy:

The bride's matchmaking takes place with active participation the girl herself, because her task is to show herself from the best side:

1. First of all, the girl needs to monitor the cleanliness and empty plates on the table: remove excess dishes and dirty napkins in a timely manner, refill guests’ glasses and serve dishes.
2. During a conversation, it is customary for her to remain silent and not enter into arguments or discussions.
3. You should not make toasts, ask questions, praise or criticize yourself and others.
4. It is not customary to hug and kiss the groom in front of your parents, even if the young couple have been together for a long time.
5. You should not drink a lot of alcohol or overeat on food.

It is better for a girl to discuss some questions with her parents in advance so as not to get into an awkward situation.

How is matchmaking going today?

You can match the bride to both the groom's parents or close relatives (godparents, older brothers, uncles), or the guy himself. The meeting of matchmakers traditionally takes place in the bride’s house, but today matchmaking is also allowed on neutral territory - in a restaurant, at a recreation center, etc.

It is customary to dress the matchmaker and the groom's side with embroidered towels. They are the first to enter the house, bow and start a conversation.

Can
You can also hire professional matchmakers who know exactly how to get married correctly and will help turn the ceremony into a relaxed and fun celebration.

The bride's matchmaking takes place in an allegorical form; no one directly states the purpose of the visit. Matchmakers imagine everything in the form of jokes and entertainment between the relatives of the future bride and groom.

The matchmaking ritual does not necessarily require the presence of alcohol on the table, but often the future father-in-law wants to have a drink with his future son-in-law. The groom can refuse if this is accepted normally by the girl’s father.

Modern matchmaking scenario

If you wish, you can prepare a matchmaking script in advance. If the ritual is planned to be traditional, then everything may look something like this:

The bride doesn’t have to show herself to the guests for the first time - this will help maintain the intrigue and will be a little reminiscent of traditional matchmaking, when the girl could sit locked up all the time.

Nowadays matchmaking can be organized in a more unconventional way by preparing a cool scenario in advance:

1. The groom's matchmakers begin to speak, twisting traditional phrases into a modern twist.
2. Then they can start asking the girl tricky questions, for example, what kind of noodles instant cooking she will brew what borscht is made from.

   To make it fun, you can prepare in advance a bag with leaves on which you will funny options answer.

   The girl, having received a question, without looking, takes out her answer. So, when asked about borscht, you can pull out a set of ingredients such as an axe, a banana and a diaper. When asked what she will swaddle the baby in, the answer may be “cabbage.” It turns out very fun and relaxed.

3. The bride's relatives can ask the groom to perform a comic task: hammer a crooked nail into a board or open a jar using improvised means. Another option is tricky questions about salary, housework and helping your future spouse.

Words
for matchmaking, they are prepared in advance, but the texts are all purely individual and depend on the character and habits of the matchmakers, the young people and their parents. It is very important to take into account the characteristics of the parents; perhaps some of them are very reserved and conservative. You can't put anyone in an awkward position. It's better not to use vulgar or wearing sexual innuendo jokes.

What do they say at matchmaking?

You should also prepare toasts for matchmaking. Usually they raise their glasses to the bride and groom and their parents and wish these people love, health and prosperity.

Parents wish young people healthy and strong children, happy married life, give good advice. The guy and girl thank their parents for their blessing.

The mother-in-law and father-in-law promise to love their future daughter-in-law like their own daughter, and she, in turn, promises to call them mom and dad. The guy and his mother-in-law and father-in-law make the same promises.

You can prepare toasts in verse:

No, it’s not easy, it’s very difficult to link two destinies into one.

And today we can congratulate you on your engagement.

Very difficult task you need to decide now -

Love each other every day to maintain happiness,

Well, if things get tough, don’t immediately run to mom!

If the groom goes to matchmaking alone, then he should prepare all kinds of praise for himself.

You need to translate useful information about yourself into a humorous and playful form:

• where he was born and lived;
• who the parents are, what they do and earn;
• where did you study;
• what achievements does he have (in sports, business, what does he do besides work);
• where and by whom he works;
• how much he earns and how he plans to provide for his future wife;
• where will the young family live;
• how many children does he want?

The girl should be praised, making sincere and open compliments, and also promise to love, carry in her arms, help around the house, etc.

You can start with something like this: “ Dear Parents, get it out of the way! I'm coming to you on an urgent matter. I heard that your daughter is beautiful, the likes of which has never been seen in this world. I am the most suitable groom for her. I ask you to give your word and I’ll tell you why you can’t find a better son-in-law than me.”

After
With these words, the guy hands the girl and mother flowers, and the girl’s father invites the guy into the house. Parents, in response to the groom’s words, praise their daughter, talking about her beauty, intelligence and thriftiness, and ask the guy about his attitude towards family and children, and towards household responsibilities.

Matchmaking is, in essence, the official consent of the bride and groom, as well as their families, to enter into marriage. Some kind of universal scenario or there are no rules for performing this ritual, since even in ancient times, matchmaking traditions differed greatly not only in different countries, but also in different regions Rus'. In this article we will look at the main features, current echoes of past traditions and interesting ideas related to matchmaking.

Matchmaking today

Modern matchmaking in most cases is simple and prosaic, especially in urban areas. Matchmakers, whose role is most often played by the groom's closest relatives, rarely burden themselves with learning long poems and theatrical productions(except for the common phrase: “you have a product, we have a merchant”). However, certain etiquette is still observed. So, upon arrival at the bride’s house, the groom always gives flowers to the women (if future wife there are grandmothers or sisters - they will also be pleased to receive a bouquet along with the bride and her mother). Matchmakers bring gifts with them, most often these are: sweets, fruit baskets, alcohol. In addition, the groom (or his mother) can give the bride some expensive gift, for example, jewelry or something significant for his family. Some special gifts You can also present it to the bride's parents. It is better to discuss what to give to your future father-in-law and mother-in-law in advance with the bride - she probably knows their preferences. Alternatively, it could be: a talisman for the home, a photo album (with a promise to fill it soon with photographs of grandchildren), a beautiful carved candle (as a symbol of light and warmth), etc. After the welcoming speeches, everyone goes to the table, where they discuss in detail the subject of the meeting - the wedding of the newlyweds.

What words to say during matchmaking

While the bride's relatives can act impromptu, the groom's matchmakers will have to prepare some kind of opening speech. The essence of this speech usually boils down to the following: we know what lives here beautiful girl, we have a smart/generous/wealthy groom for her, who, moreover, is endlessly in love with her, do you agree to put her in his reliable hands? This traditional preamble can be formulated in either prose or verse. Here are some short poetic options:

We brought you a great guy!
The merchant is excellent for your product!
Dressed to the nines - looks decent,
There is a corner and personal transport.
There is money - not poor,
The character is easy - the disposition is not harmful.
How's it going with your fiancee?
Are you ready for marriage yet?

We came to your house for a reason.
One dream brought us -
Child in happy marriage give away
Hurry up and hug your grandchildren.
And if our thoughts are similar,
Let's put everything aside
To discuss the wedding together
And fortunately, the way is open to children.

You have one girl:
Modest, beautiful, young
We have a groom to match her:
He also has the intelligence to become.
We offer in one thread
Connect their two destinies.

Hello, nice family!
Meet a prominent man.
We will immediately say not the same -
He's a nice groom, right up his alley!
And lead you to the altar
He wants your girl.

We were lucky to know -
Your product is expensive.
Good in everything, give or take.
Our merchant is golden.
Just look for something like this!
Handsome, smart, daring.
He'll make a great husband and son-in-law!
So give us a straight answer -
Are you ready to give away the goods?

We have come to your glorious home
With a first class groom!
Give it some time -
We'll tell you everything about it.

Scenarios of modern matchmaking

We will not present matchmaking scenarios in verse (there are quite a few of them on the Internet). Let us note only the key stages of this ritual. It all starts with the opening speech of the matchmakers (mentioned above). Next, matchmakers can ask the bride to perform a series comic tasks to make sure she will be a thrifty wife. For example, answer the following questions:

What kind of water will you pour over instant noodles for your husband: hot or warm? (The correct answer is none, I will feed him delicious, homemade food);
- When you wash a pan, do you scrub more inside or outside? (The correct answer is that I wash equally well on all sides);
- At what temperature will you wash woolen items? (The correct answer is slightly warm so as not to shrink);
- List the ingredients from which you will cook borscht.
etc.

The bride's relatives, in turn, can prepare a number of tasks or questions for the groom. For example:

The groom is asked to choose a city: Arkhangelsk, Yaroslavl or Khabarovsk (these are the cities depicted on banknotes in 500, 1000 and 5000 rubles). After this, you can joke about the future earnings of the groom - praise him or, on the contrary, advise him to try harder.
- Ask him to hammer a nail into a board, but give him a nail with a bent leg, explaining that in family life not everything is so simple and he will need to be able to cope with various difficulties.
- To check how safe it will be for the bride to travel with the groom in the car, you can ask a number of car rules questions traffic or ask to decipher some rare signs.
- Answer a number of “male” questions. What tool is used to make a hole in concrete wall(perforator)? How can you cut the wire with pliers or pliers (pliers)? And so on.

At some point, the hosts invite guests to the table. There, both families finally shake hands and begin to substantively discuss the wedding and the future life of the young people. In villages, this joint feast is called “binge” (not to be confused with binge drinking in the well-known sense).

An important stage of matchmaking is the formal appeal of the groom to the bride's parents with a request to give their daughter in marriage to him. When this should be done (at the very beginning or during the feast) is not so important. And here there is no room for jokes and antics - this symbolic moment requires the most serious attitude.

Matchmaking traditions that have survived to this day

The ancient Slavs had a great variety of traditions and superstitions associated with matchmaking, some of which have successfully survived to this day. Whether to use them or not is up to you, but if there are elderly people in the family who are often supporters of “this is the way it is,” it may be worth including something from the following in the “event” program.

Particular importance in wedding rituals, including matchmaking, was given to the loaf. This tradition dates back to pagan times. The shape and color of the loaf symbolized the sun, and the Sun God was especially revered by the Slavs. Matchmakers always brought a loaf of bread with them to matchmaking. The bride had to cut it at the table and distribute it to everyone present as a sign of consent to the marriage; first, the parents were treated to it. For a marriage to be successful, every last bite had to be eaten. At modern matchmaking, a loaf is also often present. If you do not have the opportunity to purchase a real loaf, you can simply buy round bread (a salt shaker is not necessary).

The second traditional thing was the towel. Different Slavic peoples used towels in different ways during matchmaking: as gifts from the bride to future relatives, they were tied on the matchmakers’ chests as a sign of consent, they were tied to the matchmaker’s hands, etc. Today you can simply present the loaf on a towel, and then put it in a safe place - it can be used later when blessing your parents and other rituals. An item with such a symbolic history will certainly become a family heirloom in the future.

Previously, during matchmaking, the bride never went out to meet the matchmakers. Until a certain point, she was in a locked room. This rule can be followed today - you must agree, there is some intrigue in this.

Even if the groom satisfied the bride's parents in everything, they never gave their consent from the threshold. The rules of decency required them to bide their time and “raise the price” for their goods. Perhaps, similar behavior would be useful today, so that it doesn’t turn out like in that joke when the wife instructed her husband before the groom’s arrival:
- Vasya, just don’t immediately throw yourself on his neck with the words “You are our Savior!”

After the bride appeared in front of the guests, the stage of the so-called bridegroom began. The bride was asked to walk around, do some simple actions, and pour tea for everyone. This was necessary to identify the girl’s physical flaws. Today, of course, times are different and matchmakers have most likely seen the groom’s chosen one more than once. However, the bride should be active at the table and take care of the guests - this will earn the respect of future relatives.

Having given his consent to the marriage, the bride's father put his daughter's hand in the hand of the future husband and said parting words. He asked the groom to protect and take care of the bride. This sentimental moment can easily be recreated today. Perhaps thanks to this, the groom will feel additional responsibility when entering into new stage own life.

1. You can ask one of your relatives to film the matchmaking with a camera or video camera. Often such things are thought about too late, and the family archive is deprived of valuable personnel.

2. Take the time to bake something for festive table with your own hands. Homemade baking helps create a warm family environment.

3. Prepare a couple in advance. interesting toasts on the topic of matchmaking. There are many humorous and quite serious, touching options on the Internet.

Several video examples of matchmaking from the Internet

It is held with the purpose of introducing the groom's parents to the bride's family while zealously observing traditions and the instructions of the older generation. This ancient custom ends the groom's courtship period. WITH at this moment An agreement is concluded between two families to celebrate the wedding and resolve some everyday issues of the future young family.

How did matchmaking on the part of the bride work among our ancestors?

The ritual is quite deeply rooted in the past. Ancient Rus'. He was preceded by a long choice of a guy suitable pair for family life. Divorces in those days were not only allowed, they were even forbidden to think about. In this regard, the choice of the second half was given close attention on the part of young people and their parents.

Matchmaking happened at the behest of older relatives without the girl’s consent for a groom who was middle-aged but fairly wealthy. Nobody asked about the feelings of the young maiden. Innocence was sacrificed for a comfortable life, love was broken by the lust of an old contender for husband. Matchmaking on the part of the bride was also accompanied by refusals to the groom. But this is rather an exception to the prevailing customs of those times.

As a rule, parents became familiar with the family structure long before sending a matchmaker. future daughter-in-law, were interested in the strength of her family’s economy, the size of the dowry and the homeliness of the supposed relatives. Matchmaking on the part of the bride also began to develop in past centuries. But this tradition did not become widespread and gradually faded away.

Rite of matchmaking with a matchmaker

If everything suited the groom's family, matchmakers were chosen. These included a guy and close relatives. In order for the agreement to proceed without delay, a matchmaker from respected and revered women of the village was invited. She skillfully negotiated with the bride's parents, praised the guy and directed the conversation in the right direction.

The matchmaker’s ability to endlessly “crack” during the ceremony concealed the embarrassment of the young and the awkwardness of the parents. Timely jokes and proverbs inserted into the conversation gave the matchmaking an unusually colorful atmosphere. Inviting a pimp to a ritual was considered in good form, a sign of landlordism. And such a service was not cheap, so it was available only to the rich class.

How the matchmaking was prepared

The girl’s parents knew in advance that the matchmakers would come and prepared for the event together with their daughter. The best day for the ceremony was Sunday. After the morning service, everyone hurried home from church to complete preparations for the arrival of the guests. Folk signs was given special attention on this day.

Folk signs on the day of matchmaking

Meeting a man on the street early in the morning means a favorable conclusion to the matchmaking.

On the porch it was necessary to distribute generous alms to the poor and needy in order to receive God's blessing.

If spoons and forks fell from the table, it means that the matchmakers with the future son-in-law are in a hurry.

The courtyard is unusually quiet - matchmaking on the part of the bride will take place calmly, without delay.

The right eye itches - means tears. The right one is bloody.

On this day, they avoided meeting a woman with empty buckets at the well. Before the guests arrived, the girl had to stay at home, not appear in front of people, so that they would not jinx it or send bad news to her mentally.

From the moment her daughter grew up, her mother prepared her dowry, embroidering towels at night, bed dress, filling feather beds and pillows with down. The girl also took part in the preparation of her first personal property, which was demonstrated to the matchmakers during the ceremony.

How were our grandmothers matched?

The table for the matchmakers was set embroidered tablecloth in the Red Corner, but they didn’t put anything on it. The groom's relatives themselves had to bring refreshments to the matchmaking ceremony for the parents and the girl as a sign good intentions and disposition towards future relatives.

Bells and bells for the matchmakers, and blazing accordion chords announced the arrival of guests. No one came out to meet them. After knocking on the door, the owners were interested in who came to their house and why. This is where the matchmaker came into her role. She said that a young merchant had seen enough goods for himself in this house, and whether the owners wanted to sell it. The godmother was holding a loaf of salt in her hands. And God forbid you accidentally spill salt. This means a poor life for future spouses. The symbol of prosperity should be immediately sprinkled with sugar and carefully swept away. It was impossible to leave it on the floor, because it was believed that damage could be caused to future family, bring trouble.

Bidding procedure for matchmaking

The owners brought forward all the women and girls, vying with each other to praise their virtues and assure them that they were the goods that the merchant needed. After much bidding they invited the last girl - future bride- and they reported that she - stale goods and the groom is unlikely to like it.

For the matchmaking ceremony, guests were seated at a table on which the matchmaker's treats were placed. It's time to praise the bride-to-be. They listed her advantages and demonstrated her handicrafts. Dishes prepared by the young housewife were served on the table, and they were asked to evaluate her culinary abilities.

During a leisurely conversation, questions about upcoming wedding, the number of guests, the place of celebration, where the young couple would live were discussed. Until all the nuances were discussed, the music did not play. When there was none left unresolved issue, tied on the hands of young people meant that took place. Then an accordion sounded, gifts were exchanged, songs were sung addressed to happy couple greetings sounded.

How to conduct matchmaking on the bride's side?

Doesn't big problem from the bride's matchmaking ritual. It is rather necessary for the parents of the future young couple to meet in order to discuss the celebration itself - the wedding. Because it's fashionable now themed weddings, then the matchmaking ritual has a certain focus.

How to spend modern matchmaking from the bride's side and furnish it beautifully? The answer to this question is offered wedding agencies. Depending on the theme of the event, a holiday script is developed. If you follow the ancient traditions of our ancestors, the event can be transferred to Vacation home. The setting of the event is being thought out, corresponding to the times of Ancient Rus'. Future groom, the bride and guests dress in spacious embroidered dresses. Required attribute- icons - held in the hands of parents.

We are writing a script for modern matchmaking

When the matchmaking of a bride is organized, the scenario on the part of the bride is aimed at advantageously presenting the girl’s merits, education, ability to manage household chores, creativity and bright character traits.

The young housewife’s parents and relatives are actively involved in the auction, demanding attention to the girl’s undeniable qualities.

Poems written specifically for each thematic ceremony vividly represent matchmaking on the part of the bride. When presenting gifts to relatives, the verses mention everyone involved in the event. A humorous rhyme in the correct form will remain in the memory of each participant in the ceremony and will add effect to the celebration and a unique charm.

Whatever the matchmaking scenario, its main task is to unite two families, to set up positive outlook for future relatives and to help young people celebrate the birth of their family with dignity.

The matchmaking of a beautiful bride is ancient tradition, which has undergone many changes, but is still found among Russian newlyweds today. Couples who honor the customs of their ancestors try to conduct this ceremony as traditionally as possible. The wedding portal site is sure that if you know how to woo a bride and follow simple rules, the matchmaking ceremony will allow you not only to get to know the bride’s parents well, but also to energize your relatives positive mood before an important celebration.

Rules of traditional matchmaking

Decades ago, the rules of this ritual were quite strict and life-changing for the bride, since the main decisions were made by the parents. The tradition was strictly observed so that the family could decide whether to marry off their beautiful daughter. Let's find out together how the traditional matchmaking of the bride took place, according to ancient rules.

Ancient rules of matchmaking:

1. As a rule, the role of matchmakers was not played by the groom’s relatives, but by special “matchmakers,” elderly women who played the role of intermediaries.
2. The matchmaker helped in finding a suitable bride, and only then in conducting the ceremony itself. She told the groom all the details about the bride's dowry, her beauty and character, so that the groom could decide whether to get married or not.
3. Often young people were complete strangers and could meet for the first time at the matchmaking ceremony itself.
4. Further good relations between families depend on how the matchmaking goes. This was the case in ancient times: the bride’s parents tried to please the groom: they set the table and offered treats to the guests.
5. Wednesday and Friday were considered bad days for the ceremony.
6. The third, fifth, seventh and ninth numbers were considered very favorable for matchmaking.
7. Traditionally, matchmakers came to the bride's house late in the evening to avoid the evil eye.
8. For matchmaking to be successful, matchmakers touched wooden objects (table legs, door frames) that promised good luck.
9. The decision of the parents depended on how the matchmaking of the young bride took place. They did not always agree the first time, so the matchmakers often came to visit twice or even three times.
10. If the matchmaking was successful, the matchmakers walked around the table three times, crossed themselves and planned the day of the bride.
11. In case of refusal, the matchmakers followed a ritual - they closed the door with their backs so that it would be difficult for the bride to find the groom.

Refusals were infrequent, because the matchmakers clearly knew how to conduct matchmaking correctly in order to please relatives and praise the groom and his family. By coming to the house with good intentions, both families could come to a mutual decision.

How to properly match a bride these days

Matchmaking these days has lost its former significance, but the tradition remains alive, and many newlyweds include it in the list of mandatory things to do before the wedding. Even if the bride and groom do not know how traditional matchmaking is carried out, at a family meeting the parents will be able to get to know each other better and talk about all the details of the wedding.

How to match a bride these days:

• Before the ceremony, the groom and his parents should carefully study how to get married in all respects modern rules to feel confident when meeting. What if the bride's parents are quite conservative and strictly honor even long-vanished wedding rituals?
• If you decide to conduct matchmaking, the groom should prepare a little for the meeting by choosing a strict classic suit and a white shirt.
• The meeting most often takes place at the house of the bride's parents, but you can organize matchmaking in a restaurant.
• The groom must not come to the house empty-handed: he must give the bride and future mother-in-law beautiful bouquet colors. Small men's gift You can do it for your father-in-law too.
• Together with the parents and the groom, a “matchmaker” may come to the house, in the role of a relative or good comrade families. A prepared person knows how to properly match a bride and will perform a good helper for parents.
• If the groom wants to make a match according to all the traditions, then the matchmaker will conduct real dialogues with the bride’s family, praising all the best best qualities groom and promising the bride the happiest life.
• However, modern matchmaking can do without a matchmaker: young people simply sit down at the table with refreshments and begin discussing wedding details.
• Parents should learn in advance how to bless the newlyweds so that they can continue preparing for the wedding with a calm heart.
• The bride and groom may sit next to each other, but hugging or kissing would be inappropriate during the first meeting of two families.
• At the end of the event, the mother-in-law can give her daughter-in-law memorable gift. As a rule, this is a neat chain or pendant.

What to say at the first meeting during matchmaking?

The website Svadbaholik.ru has already told you how to conduct matchmaking correctly, but it is also important what words you use when you cross the threshold of the house, because the first impression of parents depends on this. Matchmakers can use the following remarks as a greeting:

• We came from afar, and a thread from a ball led us. Our prince (name) saw the beautiful firebird, a sweet maiden(Name). So she was shining brightA, which sunk straight into my heart.But then trouble happened: she flew home! The wing flapped upward - the feather remained in the hand. We came to look for the firebird - give us the red maiden!
• We have come today to marry your beautiful daughter. Our groom really likes her! We are excellent matchmakers, we bring joy to the house. We ask you to marry your dear daughter!
• We came to your house for a reason, because we have one dream. We want to have a wedding so we can see our grandchildren as soon as possible. And if our thoughts are similar, let’s put everything aside so that we can discuss the wedding together, and for the children bon voyage open.

Even if you don’t know how to carry out the matchmaking ceremony according to all the canons, try to say greetings from the heart, be positive and open, behave with dignity and manners. Remember that the first meeting of parents is very important, because further friendly relations two families.