Hugs: why people grow up and are afraid to show their love to loved ones. Australian makes a living by hugging people

It would seem that hugs are just a light, non-binding touch to each other. But sometimes, without them, we feel like we are not at ease, as if we are missing something very important and very necessary. Why do we need hugs so much, and why do we have such a craving for them? Let's try to figure this out.

And politicians, who cannot stand each other's spirits, embrace unfamiliar people, thereby expressing a high degree of mutual trust and sympathy. You can not hug, nothing terrible will happen. But I'm talking about other hugs that I can't live without. "Let's not have sex today, just hug me tight and we'll sleep!" Tell me, have you ever wanted to say something like this to your partner when you are tired, not ready, or you have a traditional headache? A lot of women, I'll tell you a secret, love hugs more than sex. What's the matter here?

Under-hugged children

And everything is explained very simply, they were not hugged in childhood. Many children were brought up who did not consider it the norm to grab a child by the arms, aunt and rock him if he cried. For a long time they left him crying alone in a cold bed, made him worry about the absence of someone nearby. It seemed to your parents that in this way they accustom you to independence and discipline, educate your will and character. In fact, in early infancy, a child has only one most important need to educate him - for love and warmth.

It has been confirmed that children who are not approached for a long time, who are not hugged, grow sickly, develop more slowly, and sometimes may even die, refusing water and drink. Thus, they seem to say that they need hugs. To feel confident and safe, the child must feel the warmth of the mother or father, any person who loves him. He needs them no less than food and clothing. Without them, he feels that he is not loved, not needed. And this painful memory can haunt a person for the rest of his life. To sit deep in the subconscious and suddenly appear in certain situations. The person will not even realize that the simple absence of hugs in his life can be the cause of his depression, fear or anxiety. In childhood and now.

How do we usually escape anxiety? Differently. Someone suppresses melancholy with alcohol, clothes, career, power, fame. Acquisitions of various kinds, which give him the illusion of security and warmth. Probably, a successful businessman or an advanced business woman will never admit to themselves that they yell at subordinates, enter into constant conflicts or fall into criticism, not because they are so smart, but because they have a child inside who is not sure that someone is interested and needed. So they are dressed up to get confirmation of this.

It is difficult to admit one's own weakness even to oneself, let alone entrust it to others, God forbid. I'd rather put on the mask of a successful, invulnerable, self-confident person who is indifferent to the opinions of others, their words, views, love and their close embraces. I do not need these sentiments! I don't want to depend on them, I'm free!

Meanwhile, it is in the arms that the most subtle tenderness of the soul is manifested. We get as close as possible to a person, giving him the warmth of our body, our heart is on the same line with his heart and creates a continuous wave of vibrations, connects into a powerful protective hoop that helps us feel more confident. Protective ring of love.

It is no coincidence, probably, that it is a symbol of family happiness. It seems to hint to each of us about the need for hugs. It is in order to be hugged and pressed to ourselves, so that we too can hug and cuddle, feel trust, warmth and love, that is why we create families. Being in the mother's womb, we already felt this unconditional tenderness of the soul, which gave us a feeling of confidence and protection. Now we want to repeat this incredible and unforgettable feeling that can only be felt during hugs.

Have you ever wondered why people love sex so much, because you can satisfy yourself on your own without resorting to the help of a partner.

They love sex for hugs! And so, when your head hurts or you don’t have the strength to strain (quality sex requires a high energy expenditure), just hug each other tightly. And there it’s not far from sex, if anything ... You don’t just need to relax and relieve stress by satisfying your physiological needs, you also need emotions of warmth and security from sex, but simply, hugs. Hugs are our everything, because this is love!

In today's hectic world, it's hard to find time to relax. Many even sacrifice their time spent with loved ones in order to work more. But intimacy with others is one of the most important elements that makes people happier. And hugging is one of the easiest ways to experience the intimacy that everyone needs. Moreover, men need hugs just as much as women. In fact, there are many amazing benefits to the proverbial hug.

1. Hormone production

Oxytocin is a hormone that does everything to make a person feel good, and also helps to feel close to other people. Oxytocin is the main hormone released during hugging and is responsible for most of the benefits discussed below.

2. Improving the immune system

The release of oxytocin, the hormone of happiness and feelings, by itself makes a person feel that nothing can harm him - and this actually provides amazing benefits. It also stimulates the production of hormones that help fight infections. But, basically, the immune system improves due to the "placebo effect" - the person himself believes that he will not get sick. And it works.

3. Painkiller

In the same way that this improves the immune system, hugs and the subsequent release of oxytocin reduce pain. Even simple touch releases enough oxytocin to make a person feel better, so you just have to imagine what effect hugs will have.

4. Reducing the risk of heart disease

Hugging increases the production of oxytocin in the body, which is a “binding” hormone. The chemical reactions that begin afterward can help lower blood pressure, which in turn lowers the risk of heart disease. And if the heart is healthier, it will become easier to deal with the effects of stress and disease.

5. Reducing Social Anxiety

Oxytocin inspires positive thinking. This hormone helps a person to look optimistically at the world. For example, a person came to a party where he knows only one person, and this acquaintance hugged him from the threshold. That's all - after that, a person will feel happier and more social, and will also easily "fit" into an unfamiliar company.

6. Deepening relationships

Communication is important in a relationship, but people often forget how powerful and meaningful touch can be. When a career is so stressful that someone comes home and can't stop thinking about work, it takes a huge toll on their relationships. Instead, you should come home and cuddle with your partner for at least ten minutes a day. This brief break from the stress of everyday life will not only provide all of the other benefits listed above, but it will also deepen relationships. During this time, the person will spend time focusing solely on their partner and how they feel about them.

7. Prelude of further intimacy

Even non-erotic touch can release dopamine, which is a hormone that increases sexual desire. A hug or massage from a partner after a hard day can lead to sexual activity that will only strengthen the relationship. In addition, bedding is a great stress reliever and an easy way to get physically active.

8. Help with feeding

Oxytocin also has a positive effect on childbirth and breastfeeding. This chemical doesn't just create good feelings between couples, it also works for women and their children. Oxytocin helps the mother relax, which makes breastfeeding easier.

9. Hugs for everyone

Hugging isn't just for your romantic partner. Hug your friends and pets too. The feeling of warmth and connection after being touched will be enough to start producing oxytocin.

10. Improve sleep

You can toss and turn for a long time and try to fall asleep, or you can just cuddle with your partner for 10 minutes before bed. This will cause the body to produce oxytocin, which will help you feel your partner more and relieve stress. And when a person is less preoccupied with something and more relaxed, he will fall asleep faster and sleep better.

11. Reduce stress

Oxytocin is an amazing natural hormone that has many benefits for the human body. Naturally, all these positive effects will also contribute to stress relief. The person will feel more connected to their partner, they will feel confident in social situations, their immune system will improve, after which there will be little to upset them.

However, hugs are just one of the

Friends, in honor of the Day of Hugs, which is celebrated all over the world on January 21, we decided to tell you something interesting about "hugs" 😉 It turns out that this is not only a very pleasant, but also a useful activity.

1. Hugging someone makes us feel better.

Hug someone - it's not just touch the person and feel the warmth, but much more. When we embrace another person (by the way, and an adored dog, cat or any other furry) in a hug, oxytocin is released (it is called the “cuddle hormone”), thanks to which we really feel warmth and tenderness. Social bonding isn't complete without chemistry: "Oxytocin is a neuropeptide that promotes feelings like attachment, trust, and community," says psychologist Matt Hertenstein. “Interaction with other people is really based on biological processes.”

2. Hugs relieve pressure

The hormones that are released in the body while we enjoy hugs have a positive effect not only on feelings, but also on physical health. When someone touches you, you feel a touch on your skin, which activates pressure receptors - Pacini corpuscles. These bodies send a signal to the vagus nerve, the wave of which is responsible for many things that happen in our body, including lowering blood pressure.

3. People hug 1 hour a month

According to statistics, every month we spend an hour in the arms of other people. Do you think that this is not enough? Yes and no. If we proceed from the fact that we have 720 hours a month, 240 of which we sleep, 240 work, then there is still the same amount of time when we can hug. But did you know that a hug usually lasts 10 seconds? Simple calculations show: in a month you melt with tenderness 360 times. An impressive number!

4. Strong hugs drive away our fears.

A study of fears and self-confidence, published in the journal Psychological Science, showed that hugs and touches significantly reduce the fear of death. Interestingly, any “hugs”, even with a teddy bear, comfort a person and reduce existential fears (fear of the future, change, open or closed space, fear of the incomprehensible, fear of going crazy or losing control). Even fleeting and seemingly imperceptible interactions help a person deal with anxiety much more effectively. This is a very powerful mechanism that keeps us feeling full of life with meaning and important things.

5. Hugs protect the heart from disease.

Hug tight to each other! After all, hugs with your loved ones are a balm for your heart, literally and figuratively. Even a twenty-second "hug-session" significantly reduces the harm that stress causes to the cardiovascular system and the whole body. An experiment conducted at the University of North Carolina yielded some interesting data. It turned out that in people who did not hug or hold hands with their beloved before talking about a recent event that still causes negative emotions, anger and tension, the heart rate jumped as much as 10 points (against plus five points in those who had contact with the partner).

A survey was conducted among Americans, which revealed a surprising dependence. If spouses often hug and touch each other, their marriage lasts longer than in families where physical contact is kept to a minimum.

7. Older people need hugs more.

Scientists from the Ohio State University, USA, report that physical contact becomes especially important over the years: the older a person, the less strong his health becomes. Hugs are essential for maintaining good health. Over the years, we are more and more often covered with a feeling of loneliness, the elderly feel it especially acutely. The danger is that feelings of abandonment and social isolation increase stress levels. And this affects somatic health in a bad way. Embracing someone, we feel that we are not alone in this vast world.

8. Hugs are a natural stress reliever.

Do you feel like you are on your last breath? Squeezed out like a lemon that has also been driven over by an asphalt paver? No strength and energy? Urgently go in search of someone you can squeeze! Hugs drastically reduce the stress hormone, cortisol. In addition, tension is released, and the body sends “calming” signals to the brain: “Nothing to worry about, friend!”

9. Hug your (and other people's too) children

Do you want to do something useful for the next generation? Then give hugs to children while they are still small. Emory University found a link between touch and stress reduction in early life. The study, however, was conducted on rats, but scientific minds say that this is also true for humans. If you hug children more often, they will better cope with stress when they become adults. There is something worse. Children who are not hugged may be slow in intellectual development: studies have shown that such babies begin to walk, talk and read later than their peers.

10. We understand each other better

"Hugs" help to establish communication both in pairs and with parents and children, friends and colleagues. People want to be heard and understood. And hugs are a kind of transport that transports understanding and empathy. Non-verbal communication is a good way to tell a person all the most important things. Rather, let him feel it.

Hug more often, friends! Now you have scientific evidence that can kill anyone who resists your embrace 😉

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January 21 is celebrated as Hug Day around the world. Website columnist Anna Lebedeva talks about why it is so important to hug each other more often ...

When a child wants to show his parents how he loves them, his arms involuntarily wrap around the neck or hips of loved ones. He clings to them with his whole body, like an animal, wrapping all his love in a circle of hugs. But for some reason, over the years, some hug less and less. Either from shyness, or from hardened feelings.

Someone is used to keeping their feelings under lock and key, and rare hugs sometimes become an anomalous phenomenon: it’s like the sea waves in a lake.

When was the last time you hugged your grandfather? - I once asked one of my acquaintances, whose relative is very ill and has been in the hospital for almost a month.

“Kissed me on the cheek yesterday as he sat on the edge of his hospital bed and held out his shaking hands towards me. And I hugged in childhood, probably ... I don’t even remember. What for? Is it really that important?

“And when you hugged your wife,” I asked restlessly.

The wife is another matter. Hugs this morning. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hung on it like a chimpanzee. I hugged her to keep her balance. You know, it's hard not to hug your wife. It is purely physically uncomfortable to stand in the pose of a tin soldier during a passionate kiss.

At some point, a dispute ensued between us. I tried to prove to my friend how important it is sometimes just to hug. At least for 5 seconds, hug a loved one to yourself, let him into your inviolable space, feel his inhalation and exhalation, pat on the back with your palm: they say, how long we haven’t seen each other, or how glad I am to see you again.

The acquaintance, in turn, said that it was all nonsense and superfluous mi-mi-mi: "If you want to raise your emotional tone, give me better money or take me to a restaurant." The conversation reached a dead end with an impenetrable wall, and on that note we said goodbye.

My classmate Galya often remembers her loved ones. She uploads black-and-white photos from her family album to Instagram - grandparents and other relatives who are no longer alive. He boasts of his noble origin.

One of these days, I accidentally met her in a cafe, and we talked about hugs over a cup of coffee.

– Galya, tell me, how often did you hug your relatives? They were so beautiful with you that if I were in your place, I would wrap my arms around them at every meeting.

“You know, I always wanted to do this,” Galina shared her innermost thoughts with me. - I even imagined how I squeeze my granny with my hands, how I kiss her on the cheek, and she smiles back at me and strokes her back. These sensations made my skin crawl. Probably something from childhood. Somewhere in the depths of my soul, as on a memory card, these warm hugs have been preserved. But every time I came to my aunt or grandmothers, something stopped me. Probably fear that they will not understand or unwillingness to look like a simpleton. You see, they were intelligent people, and I was scared to hug them - I didn’t know if it was customary for them. Yes, and I was brought up just like them, and loved them madly. But she hugged, probably, when she was very small. What will you take from children?

After our conversation, I walked down the street, and wet snow covered the asphalt. It was nasty and a strong wind was blowing. I wanted to come home as soon as possible to hug my daughter and snuggle up to my husband: to really hug, giving them my love with every cell of my body.

I suddenly wanted to hug my parents, open my arms in front of them, as in childhood, and cling to them with my whole body so that it would last for a long time ...

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It is not easy for every man to express certain feelings in words, and then body language comes to the rescue.

Want to know what hugs can reveal about your relationship? We are in website already all found out - rather read.

1. Hug from the back

A strong hug from the back indicates that a person is ready to protect you from all adversity, and is not afraid to take on responsibility and obligations. He is a real knight - next to him you will definitely feel safe.

2. Hug around the waist

Even if a man has not yet confessed his feelings to you, this hug speaks for itself: he literally lost his head from love. He is unarmed in front of you and wants to spend as much time together as possible. But be careful: such men are often too amorous and changeable.

3. Hug with a pat on the back

This hug is more associated with friendship than love. If you are just friends, then a romantic continuation is unlikely to happen: he will support, listen, but do not expect mutual feelings. If this is the only hug that your young man prefers, then it’s worth considering: it seems that he is not dating you because of great love and is not going to reciprocate.

4. Hug and eye to eye

If he hugs you incredibly gently and delicately, and then looks directly into your eyes, then be sure: this is a symbol of a real, deep connection between people. He values ​​you very much, and everything that happens to the relationship at the moment is really important and valuable for him. Such relationships have a future and, perhaps, a very happy one.

5. Embrace "London Bridge"

There is a “pioneer distance” between you, and the hug itself turns out to be somehow crumpled and as if only out of politeness? You don't seem to digest each other, but you're trying to save face. Why masks? If a person is unpleasant to you, a dry nod will be enough. Although, there are exceptions: if you came to a family dinner and met a mischievous uncle, this type of hug can be very useful to you.

6. Long hug

This hug is probably familiar to everyone: we need it so much when we need the support of a loved one. Without further ado, it goes on and on, and the soul becomes a little easier: believe me, this man is ready to be with you both in sorrow and in joy, and this is very, very important.

7. One arm hug

If your young man loves to hug you by the shoulder, then in this way he takes you under his wing and seeks to protect you from any adversity. If you are only friends, then in this way a man offers his help and support. But if a girl hugs a guy like that (and especially at parting), then you know - most likely, she perceives you only as a good friend and the relationship will not work here.