How to remain a personality in a large family - effective and time-tested rules of education in large families.

Money is far from the main problem in a large family. Often those who consciously give birth to many children really imagine how they will support these children. Most often these are successful, established professionals, representatives of the "middle class", or poor, but deeply religious people.

On the other hand, everyone has a different level of ideas about material well-being: for someone it is a villa on the Cote d'Azur, for someone it is their own small apartment. You can also save money if clothes and shoes, for example, men's sneakers, will "pass" from older children to younger ones.

Today, you can always earn money for normal nutrition and education for your children, if there is a desire.

Against

The favorite argument of supporters of a small family is the following: you need to start at least one child on his feet, and this requires funds and conditions.

A study of the living conditions of families showed that the better the material and housing conditions, the more often the attitude towards the birth of one child. An inverse relationship between the number of children and family income was also revealed: the number of children desired under the most favorable conditions is lower in families with higher incomes.

Unfavorable conditions, low financial situation, lack of necessary living space reduce the likelihood of having another child. Moreover, the expected increase in low income does not affect the reproductive attitude, which is associated with the spouses' subjective assessment of their financial situation.

Mother's self-realization in a career

The main purpose of a woman is to give life. This is given to her by nature itself, that is, she is biologically, emotionally tuned in to motherhood. For real self-realization, a woman needs to give birth to 5-7 children, only then she fully realizes her potential.

Bearing, giving birth, feeding, raising children require tremendous energy from a woman - and if this energy turns out to be unused, the woman begins to direct her in the wrong direction, she becomes dissatisfied with life, falls into depression, and in this state there is no talk of any self-realization maybe.

Against

Today, the problem of female self-realization is very relevant. A woman who devotes herself to work cannot keep up with the household and take care of the child sufficiently - one of these two important areas will still suffer.

Parenting

People who have one child often complain that they are tired of communicating with him, of worries, etc. It seems to them that parents of, for example, five children should be five times more tired. But that's not the case at all.

Firstly, elders can help parents: from the age of 5-6, a child is quite capable of taking a younger brother or sister for 2-4 years. Many adults get tired not so much from adult worries as from the need to play with children, it is often psychologically difficult for parents, but in a family where there is one baby, you can’t get away - the child needs to play with someone. And in a large family, children are "closed" to each other: the elders play with the younger ones, help them get dressed, do their homework, walk with them, freeing the mother from a lot of worries.

Secondly, children love to imitate. Moreover, psychologically it is much easier for them to imitate not adults, who are too difficult to reach, but older children. Therefore, in families with many children, the younger ones quickly acquire everyday skills, communication skills, they learn a lot in passing, in passing. Children from large families have a more mobile psyche, are more resistant to stress and adapt better in any team.

Thirdly, children from a large family fall on a much greater burden, but it - and this is very important - is justified in their eyes. In a family with one child, it is much easier for a mother to do everything herself, hence often infantilism and the child's inability to serve himself. In a large family, the help of the mother's children is necessary and they are included in household chores.

Fifthly, it is in a large family that there are all the necessary conditions for the continuity of generations. Children from large families are better prepared for marriage. They understand the difference between male and female psychology, they know how to compromise, they are very responsible, boys do not shy away from "female" housework, they know how to take care of babies.

Sixth, in a large family there is the effect of a small team. If there are one or two children in a family, then the children quickly become emotionally saturated with each other, parents have to invent something, extinguish quarrels and conflicts. In a large family, a system of children's collectives of different ages arises: there is an age hierarchy in it, the elders lead the younger ones. It is only necessary to ensure that the elders do not oppress the younger ones.

Against

Firstly, in a family with only 1-2 children, parents have the opportunity to have close contact with the child. In a large family, it is almost a constant impossibility to find separate time to communicate with each child face to face, and this is important for children.

Secondly, the amount of responsibility and household duties that a child in a large family has, may become a reason for children to subsequently reproach their parents for "depriving them of their childhood."

Thirdly, the state of health of children and care for them in such families is insufficient. One child gets sick, and the rest can follow him.

Fourthly, even in many families with one or two children, jealousy occurs in children, what can we say about a large family?

Fifth, children from a large family often have low self-esteem, because they perceive themselves as part of a large team and think little about the value of their "I". In adolescence, a child can begin to assert himself in all ways, proving his uniqueness.

Sixthly, even if there is a very large apartment in large families, both children and adults do not have enough privacy, the opportunity to sit quietly, to be alone with their affairs and thoughts.

Society attitude

What is the "norm" today? One or two children. While this norm is such, large families will be perceived by society as an exception to the rule.

A large family is neither good nor bad in itself, it is just a special world, with its pluses and minuses, its own joys and problems, like the world of any family.

According to the observations of psychologists and sociologists, the stereotype of a large family began to change just a few years ago. Having many children is even becoming fashionable in a materially prosperous environment.

Konstantin Feofanov

I don't think our family is big at the moment - only five people. But in many places this is how we are called - both in Russia and abroad. And many more are afraid to start a large family. There are a lot of fears and myths in my head. At the same time - many want, but prickly.

A large family has many advantages, they are much more than difficulties. And I will describe them below. But there are downsides. And I don't want to pretend it doesn't exist. So let's start with them.

1. Food ends instantly. Especially among vegetarians, because fresh vegetables and fruits cannot be stored for a long time. Well, all this is eaten in two counts. To the store every day or every other day. The husband is always in shock, where did everything go. I remember the story of the mother of 9 children that 20 kg of oranges ran out in a day.
2. It is impossible to please everyone and always. With one or even two children, it is easy to find compromises and make sure that everyone is always happy. And if there are three, four, five or more children? Some people are always happy, some not so much. And this is not a tragedy, this is the norm. The main thing is that the disgruntled face changes, and not always be the same.

3. You need to change tools and change yourself (parents). One child can be passed to each other as a banner. Two children can be separated - one in each hand. And three? Four? We need to change all our ways of influencing children. And that means change inside.
4. Sometimes there are not enough hands. Sometimes you even want to hug everyone at once - but it doesn’t always work out. And sometimes you wash the ass of one, and somewhere else falls. And you need to urgently feel sorry for him, but the priest is still not washed.
5. You need to set the boundaries of your time more strictly. When you have one child and he sleeps, this is your time. And when there are three of them, and one is sleeping, and two are not? Or two are sleeping and one is not? Whose time is it then?
6. Find an opportunity to give everyone personal attention. It can be difficult, but a child does not need much attention - to draw a little together, collect Lego, cuddle.
7. There is no time to be lazy and depressed, because all the time you need to take care of someone. This can be considered both a plus and a minus.
8. Even children who love each other sometimes quarrel and fight. Especially boys - and there are always enough reasons. It's hard to bear, but I haven't seen brothers and sisters who never swear.
9. Different tastes - in food, for example. You can't always please everyone with one dish. You have to twist.
10. Collective ownership of almost everything, try the degree something of your own just for yourself - from a piece of mango to new pencils. Who found that and slippers. And someone will definitely find it.
11. Noisy. Quiet only at night, when everyone is sleeping - and then not for long. The silence becomes so desirable.
12. More things in the house and more to take on trips. One suitcase for five is no longer enough. And since there are more things, it can be more difficult with order, and with washing, and with laying out in places.
13. Traveling is more expensive - tickets, large rooms (one ordinary room is not always allowed, sometimes you have to take 2 rooms or one large one), you need large cars for rent, and so on.
14. It is difficult for parents to be alone. Only if you run away from home, leaving the children with someone. As one father of many children said - the more children in the house, the less likely it is that there will be more of them ... well, you know what he means.
15. All the time you need to reboot. What worked for one won't necessarily work for the other. With one there will be some difficulties, with the other - others. There is no single algorithm for educating and solving all problems.
16. In a large family, do not click claws, as my husband says. If you think for a long time whether you want a banana, you will be left without a banana. This is a minus for those who are used to thinking for a long time. Or like me, I'm used to finding something where I put it.
17. The husband turns from a family member into a servant. The same is true about the wife - give, bring, stroke, feed, wash, clean. The functional load increases on parents, even with the help of elders. You have to delegate - and find time for opportunities to simply love.
18. The more children, the less often you are invited to visit - especially those who do not have children.
19. Things quickly become unusable - the more children, the more likely it is that they will paint wallpaper, bed linen, break a vase.

Let's move on to the pros, shall we? There are many more, and I did not write down all of them.

1. Fun. In general, there is no way to get bored when there are so many different loved ones around. The more children, the more unpredictable the world.
2. Personal growth. Permanent - for both mom and dad. Whether they want it or not. And this is a plus - you definitely won’t stiffen!
In many ways, two is easier than one, and three is easier than two. They are distracted by each other, play, build relationships with each other.
3. Much depends on the older child - the younger ones will take an example from him. Therefore, many say that it is enough to educate one, and then put it on stream. Sometimes it is enough for one to teach something - and he will teach the rest.
4. A huge portion of the daily "mi-mi-mi", that is, what you can admire endlessly - when they hug and kiss each other. When they are dressed the same, when they share with each other and take care of each other.
5. It's beautiful. Photos, family videos, the same clothes - so many different ways to keep memories of the childhood of the little ones!
6. It's natural. And many things are revealed only after the third child, and some only after the fifth (according to rumors). Many say that three children is not a large family, but a normal family.
7. All children are different. And in a large family there is a chance to see this in practice, when the same parents have several completely different children. There is less chance that you will fulfill your dreams and realize your ambitions at their expense.
8. Real socialization. From which you can’t hide, you can’t pretend to be someone. You have to learn to build relationships, conflict, put up, express feelings and yourself. For real. 9. This is more real life than the artificial collection of children of the same age in kindergarten
10. You can not go to kindergarten - why, if you have a real kindergarten at home?
11. There is always someone to hug right now. Anytime and anywhere. And it's great!
11. Mom will have to take care of herself and her internal development - otherwise she will not survive. She will have to find a hobby and change her attitude towards herself.
13. Both parents will have to "grow" a sense of humor, which is very valuable. Again - because otherwise it will not work.
14. With the birth of children, you become more efficient - you get more done in less time. The best time management teacher is children.
15. Large families teach patience, humility, service. Children in them are more mature, more independent, they know how to take care and work, it is easier for them to create families and they understand what to do with children.
16. And yes, I will highlight this separately. Children from large families understand what parenthood is, what to do with the little ones, what to play, how to care for. For them, the birth of their children does not become a shock or some kind of punishment. They have already gone through the school of a young fighter. And this is very important!
17. And when the parents are gone, each other will have enough of them to support each other and be friends.
18. You can learn a lot - after all, each child is interested in something different. Become a pro in drawing, and in Lego, and go to fire stations, and learn to sew and knit.
19. Parents finally have to delegate responsibilities - one or two children can be fully serviced on their own. But when there are three or four of them, you have to look for other solutions to the problem.
20. According to my observations, mothers of many children are always very versatile and insanely beautiful - both inside and out.
21. In a large family, the amount of love and happiness increases proportionally - or even exponentially.
22. And yes, it's not much more expensive than raising 1-2 children - just a different management (things move from one to another, a lot is used more intensively and collectively, the excess is discarded and quite easily).
23. Space for the realization of the talents of mom and dad! You can lead the masses, you can put on performances, you can put together a basketball team!
24. More joy, positive emotions, inspiration. Every child contributes to this great cause.
25. Children open this world to us anew. Every time. Every child. And it's amazing.
26. It's amazing to see in their eyes the continuation of their beloved husband. Each time is different. This is probably the most amazing feeling - to give birth to a piece of a loved one.
27. A large family is an occasion to reconsider your life and move on to a more natural one. For example, moving to the countryside, growing your own food, being closer to nature. With one or two children, you can live in the city. Three or more is more difficult.
28. When a mother is busy with an important matter - that is, raising children, she leaves her energy there. While the child is small, he needs one hundred percent, and a lot of energy is spent, she has no time to do nonsense. But as soon as she grows up, her mother gradually begins to endure the brain of her father. Because she has too much energy. It would be possible for her to work, but then she would spend everything there. But it would be better for her to give birth to someone again - and throw out her strength there.
29. It won't be boring. Guaranteed.
30. In a large family, children do not suffer from overprotection, parents have no time to control them, to monitor them totally. There is more freedom and independence in their lives.
31. Children under five naturally radiate happiness. Therefore, the first five years of happiness in the house are so many.
32. Mom and dad become not just a couple, but truly family people. The more children you have, the stronger your spiritual and spiritual intimacy, the more valuable the relationship, the more love in them.
33. Faith in God increases. You have to believe that someone other than you is keeping your children and protecting, otherwise you will just go crazy with anxiety and the inability to be everywhere at the same time.

Topic: types of families

Topic: types of families

Family is the basis society unit which place in important role in the process of a person’s socialization, ap-ubrining character formation. Anyway the nature of the family keeps changing: there are a number of types of family that exist in modern society. There used to be mainly two types: extended and nuclear family.

The family is the basis of society, which plays an important role in the process of socialization of the individual, the formation of character. In any case, the structure of the family is constantly changing: in modern society, there are a number of types of family. Previously, two types were mainly used: the extended family and the nuclear family.

An extended family structure consists of two or more adults who are related to each other, either by blood or marriage and living in the same home. Usually, that means that grandparents live with their children and grandchildren. One of the advantages of this type is that grandparents can look after children, enabling parents to make a career. Also if you have a big family you are more accepting of people and their different natures. One of the disadvantages is that you haven't got privacy and you may feel tired. But the biggest inconvenience is that you may be disagreements about how to bring up a child.

An extended family structure consists of two or more adults who are related to each other either by blood or marriage and live in the same household. This usually means that grandparents live with their children and grandchildren. One advantage of this type is that the grandparents can look after the children, allowing the parents to make a career. Also, if you have a large family, you are more accepting of people and their different natures. One of the downsides is that you don't have a personal life and you may feel tired. But the biggest inconvenience is that you may have disagreements about how to raise a child.

A nuclear family is a traditional type of family structure. This type composes two parents and children who are sharing one house or flat. There are a number of advantages for having a nuclear family. Firstly children have more close relations with their parents than in the extended family. Secondly small families have less quarrels and disagreements because there are no interferences from other relatives. One can't deny that family members, particularly mothers, may have a tendency to burn out from attempting to meet every person's need alone. Often a nuclear family becomes a multi-child family. In families having many children, kids share our parental attention. It's a disadvantage. Also there is a problem of being the eldest child in the family is that you should take care of the younger ones. But you never fell lonely having siblings (brothers or sisters).

The nuclear family is the traditional type of family structure. This type consists of two parents and children who share one house or apartment. There are a number of advantages to creating a nuclear family. First, children have closer relationships with their parents than those in the extended family. Secondly, small families have less disputes and disagreements, because there is no interference from other relatives. It is undeniable that family members, especially mothers, may have a tendency to burn themselves out trying to satisfy each person's needs alone. Often a nuclear family becomes a large family. In families with many children, children share our parental attention. This is a disadvantage. There is also the problem of being the eldest child in the family, that you have to take care of the younger ones. But you never fell alone with your brothers and sisters (brothers or sisters).

At the modern time the number of divorces is growing. One reason is that couples either can't or one of the pair doesn't choose to have kids. Divorce gives rise to single-parent families? Blended families, where one of the parents helps children from previous relationships, and whom families live in civil marriage.

The divorce rate is on the rise these days. One reason is that couples either cannot or one of the couples does not want to have children. Does Divorce Spawn Single-Parent Families? Mixed families, where one of the parents helps children from previous relationships, and families that live in a civil marriage.

Family where single parent bring up a child merit particular attention. This family type is generally close. Family members find ways to work together to solve problems, such us diving up household chores. If you are single parent then your children will be super responsible. But sometimes they may feel a lack of one parent.

A family in which a single parent raises a child deserves special attention. This type of family is usually close. Family members find ways to work together to solve problems, such as diving around the house. If you are a single parent, your kids will be super responsible. But sometimes they can feel the lack of one parent.

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 9 minutes

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According to statistics, there are not so many families with many children in our country - only 6.6%. And the attitude in society towards such families in our time remains controversial: some are sure that many children are a sea of ​​\u200b\u200bhappiness and help in old age, others explain the “phenomenon of large families” by the irresponsibility of individual parents.

Pros and cons of a large family - what are the advantages of large families?

There are a great many myths, fears and contradictions when discussing large families. Moreover, they (these fears and myths) seriously influence the decision of young parents - to continue to raise the demographics of the country or to stop with two kids.

Many want to continue, but the disadvantages of having many children scare and stop halfway:

• The refrigerator (and not even one) is emptied instantly. Even for 2 growing organisms, a lot of products are required daily - naturally fresh and of high quality. What can we say if there are four, five or even 11-12 kids.
• There is not enough money. The requests of a large family, even with the most modest calculations, are similar to the requests of 3-4 ordinary families. Do not forget about the cost of education, clothing, doctors, toys, recreation, etc.
• Finding compromises and maintaining a friendly atmosphere among children is extremely difficult. - there are many of them, and all with their own characters, habits, features. We have to look for certain “tools” of education so that the authority of parents among all children is stable and indisputable.
• It is impossible to leave the kids to a grandmother for the weekend or a neighbor for a couple of hours.
• There is a catastrophic lack of time. For all. For cooking, for work, for "pity, caress, talk." Parents get used to lack of sleep and chronic fatigue, and the division of responsibilities always occurs in the same way: older children take on part of the load of parents.
• It is difficult to maintain individuality, and being the owner simply will not work: in a large family, as a rule, there is a “law” on collective property. That is, everything is common. And it is not always possible even for your own personal corner. Not to mention "listen to your music", "sit in silence", etc.
• Traveling for a large family is either impossible or difficult. It is easier for those families who can buy a large minibus. But here, too, difficulties await - you will have to take a lot more things with you, food, again, increases in price according to the number of family members, you have to spend solid money on hotel rooms. It is also quite difficult to visit, meet friends.
• The personal life of parents is difficult. There is no way to escape for a couple of hours, it is impossible to leave the children alone, and at night someone will definitely want to drink, pee, listen to a fairy tale, because it is scary, etc. The emotional and physical burden on parents is quite serious, and you have to make a lot of effort not to become strangers to each other, not to turn into servants for children, not to lose authority among them.
• On the career of two at once, most often you can put an end to it. It is simply impossible to run up the career ladder when you have lessons, or cooking, or endless sick leave, or circles in different parts of the city. As a rule, dad works, and mom sometimes manages to earn extra money at home. Of course, when the children grow up, there is more time, but the main opportunities have already been missed.

Someone will be surprised, but there are still advantages in a large family:

• Constant self-development of mom and dad. Like it or not, personal growth is inevitable. Because on the go you have to adjust, rebuild, invent, react, etc.
• When the baby is alone, he needs to be entertained. When there are four children, they take care of themselves. That is, there is a little time for household chores.
• A large family is more than children's laughter, fun, joy for parents. Older children help around the house and with the younger ones, and are also an example for the little ones. And there is no need to say how many assistants dad and mom will have in old age.
• Socialization. There are no owners and egoists in large families. Regardless of desires, everyone comprehends the science of living in society, putting up, looking for compromises, giving in, etc. Children from an early age learn to work, be independent, take care of themselves and others.
• No time to be bored. There will be no depression and stress in a large family: everyone has a sense of humor (you simply cannot survive without it), and there is simply no time for depression.

A big family - what can be hidden behind a sign and when can it be called happy?

Of course, living in a big family is an art. The art of avoiding quarrels, doing everything, resolving conflicts.

Which, by the way, in a large family a lot ...

• Lack of living space. Yes, there is a myth that large families can count on the expansion of the area, but in reality everything is more complicated. Well, if there is an opportunity to move (build) a big house outside the city - there is enough space for everyone. But, as a rule, most families huddle in apartments where every centimeter of space is valuable. And the grown older child can no longer bring a young wife into the house - there is nowhere.
• Lack of money. They are always lacking in an ordinary family, and even more so here. You have to deny yourself a lot, “be content with little”. Often, children feel left out at school / kindergarten - their parents cannot afford expensive things. For example, the same computer or expensive mobile phone, modern toys, fashionable clothes.
• About clothes in general it is necessary to say separately. One of the unspoken rules of a large family is “the younger ones wear out after the older ones.” While the kids are small, there are no problems - at 2-5 years old, the child simply does not think about such things. But growing children are extremely negative about “wearing out”.
• Older children are forced to be a support and help for parents . But this situation does not always suit them. After all, at the age of 14-18 years, their interests appear outside the home, and you don’t want to babysit the kids instead of walking, meeting friends, your own hobbies.
• Health problems. Considering that it is almost impossible to devote time to the health of each baby (and just a baby), problems of this kind often occur in children. Lack of vitamins and a complete diet (you still have to save almost all the time), lack of opportunities to strengthen immunity by various methods (training, hardening, swimming pools, etc.), “crowding” of family members in a small room, the inability to constantly keep children in sight ( one fell, another knocked, the third and the fourth had a fight) - all this leads to the fact that parents have to take sick leave very often. What can we say about seasonal diseases: one gets ARVI, and everyone else picks it up.
• The absence of silence. The regimen for children of different ages, respectively, is different. And when the little ones need to sleep, and the older children need to do their homework, the kids from the middle age category frolic to the fullest. Silence is out of the question.

How to remain a personality in a large family - effective and time-tested rules of education in large families

There is no universal scheme of education in a large family. Everything is individual, and each family has to independently determine the framework, internal rules and laws for itself.

Of course, main landmark remains unchanged- education should be such that children grow up happy, healthy, self-confident, and do not lose their individuality.

• should be indisputable! Even taking into account the fact that over time, the upbringing of children is divided between older children, dad and mom. The parent word is law. Anarchy in the family should not be. How exactly to build and strengthen their authority, moms and dads decide "in the course of the play" in each individual cell of society. It is also worth remembering that focusing solely on the needs, interests and whims of the child is wrong. Power is dad and mom, people are children. True, the government should be kind, loving and understanding. No despots and tyrants.
• Children should have their own personal zone, and parents should have their own. Kids should remember that here their toys can “walk” as much as they like, but here (in the parent’s bedroom, on the mother’s desktop, on the father’s chair) is absolutely impossible. Also, children should know that if the parents are “in the house” (in their personal zone), then it is better not to touch them, unless there is an urgent need for this.
• Parents should give equal attention to all their children. Yes, it’s difficult, it doesn’t always work out, but you need to keep up - talk with each kid, play, discuss children’s problems. Let it be 10-20 minutes a day, but for each and personally. Then the children will not fight with each other for the attention of mom and dad.
• Do not overload your children with responsibilities - even if they are already “big”, and are able to partially unload mom and dad. Children are not born in order to later throw off their upbringing on someone. And the obligations assumed at the birth of the next baby are the responsibility of the parents and no one else. Of course, it is not necessary to raise egoists - children should not grow up as spoiled sissies. Therefore, “duties” can be placed on your children only for educational purposes and in a dosed manner, and not because mom and dad have no time.
• Equally important is the priority system. You will have to learn how to quickly decide what to do immediately and quickly, and what can generally be put aside. To take on everything in a row is irrational. Forces simply will not remain for anything. Therefore, it is important to learn how to make a choice. And it doesn't have to involve sacrifice.
• No disagreements between mom and dad! Especially on the topic of intra-family laws and regulations. Otherwise, the authority of the parents will be seriously shaken, and it will be extremely difficult to restore it. Children will listen to mom and dad only if they are one.
• You can't compare your children. Remember, each one is unique. And he wants to stay that way. The child is offended and hurt when he is told that his sister is smarter, his brother is quicker, and even the younger peanuts are more obedient than him.

Well, and most importantly - create an atmosphere of love, harmony and happiness in the family . It is in such an atmosphere that children grow up as independent, full-fledged and harmonious personalities.

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Psychologists in the West believe that the most self-confident person can only be considered the one who grew up next to mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, sisters and brothers. But their Russian colleagues believe that it is better for the older generation to live separately. Who is right?

What do we think about when it comes to a big family? What do we imagine: eternal disputes between “fathers and children”, two housewives in the same kitchen, or an almost idyllic picture of a happy life under one roof for several generations? When a grandmother reads fairy tales to her grandson at night, and grandfather and father discuss political events, closing in the kitchen?

Someone knows from their own experience that a big family is friendship and a lifestyle. Someone will say that life in a large family is an art, and it is the possession of it that helps to avoid quarrels and resolve disputes. Well, for some, dear relatives nearby can only be seen in a nightmare.

Let's look at the life of a large family from the inside, talk about the advantages of such a life, as well as about possible difficulties and methods for overcoming them. Why is it good to live as one big family? Let's try to figure it out!

POSITIVE SIDES

One of the advantages of a large family, which we cannot but pay attention to, is financial stability. Even if one of the working members of the family suddenly loses their job, this will not significantly affect the quality of life. When we are confident in the future, we feel safe, that is, psychologically comfortable. The second important consequence of living in a large team is a great opportunity to share household chores. You always have the opportunity to discuss with relatives and choose for yourself the responsibility for precisely those types of household chores that you like or simply seem the least burdensome.

In a large family, the distribution of household chores is almost perfect: you can choose exactly those chores that you like.

Another undoubted advantage of a large family is the joint care of children. Young mothers and fathers have more free time, as all family members are involved in the process of raising the younger generation. It is also interesting that it is in a large family that mom and dad often have the opportunity to spend time together, which is always important and necessary even for the most loving parents in the world.

A large family allows for a very intensive exchange of experience between generations. As a result, young parents have every chance to fill fewer cones on the path of life, and the older generation is guaranteed help in keeping up with the rapidly flying progress.

Children growing up in a large team subconsciously feel part of a large whole. A child from a large family easily adapts to the team, growing up, he more easily experiences teenage problems, in most cases he has increased academic performance and rarely conflicts with peers.

A large family is also an ideal "bridgehead" for mastering complex, interesting activities that require common involvement: only in a large family it is easier than ever to organize home productions and educational games with a large number of participants.

A large and friendly family certainly also becomes a kind of center of attraction for friends and relatives, everyone is drawn to it: a feeling of reliability, calmness, comfort itself attracts the joy of communication, prosperity and good luck to the house.

economic benefit
The number of household duties for each family member is less, the larger the family. Economists call this phenomenon "economy of scale." So, in terms of labor and time, cooking dinner for a large and a small family is practically the same, only in a large family it will be one dinner, and in two separate families - as many as two!

Economies of scale save your budget in a large family: with the same level of consumption, the costs for everyone are reduced due to “shared costs”. A simple example: a rare family needs two vacuum cleaners or two washing machines, and the light at dinner is on one for everyone.

OPTICAL ILLUSION

A large family where everyone is happy is a wonderful, but far from universal phenomenon. People living under one roof by force, leading different budgets and suffering from a lack of space, are not a family. If young people live with their parents exclusively "because there is nowhere" - the probability of ruining relationships and life for themselves and others is high. After all, coercion and tightness cannot unite a large family.

The second problem that can hinder harmony in a large family is the uneven distribution of income sources, in other words, the presence in the family of able-bodied members who take advantage of the fact that "they are already loved" and do not want to work. If someone can, but does not want to contribute to the life of the family, he himself should be responsible for this, and not everyone living with him. Relocating young lazy people is a good and right decision, leaving parents who can, but do not want to support themselves, is normal and not scary. And no one forbade helping and loving each other at a distance!

The third problem that can make life as a large family impossible is interpersonal rejection. If some family members don't want to see others, then don't! In any case, rather than spoil the relationship by living together, it is better to treat each other well at a distance. And, taking the children to the country for the summer or sitting at the festive table at the birthday of the mother-in-law, it is joyful to think: “How great it is that we live separately!”

ADDITION METHOD

Even in the most friendly family, disputes and misunderstandings, conflicts and disputes periodically arise, roles change and interests are defended. Is it bad? No, this means that everyone has their own character and we just live a normal active life.

From the very moment of making a decision to live together, we need to understand, accept and assimilate a few simple rules-bricks that make up the house of happiness for a large family.

Let's look at the main types of problems that arise and find the rules that will help to avoid or solve them.

A child from a large family adapts more easily to the team, growing up, he is less likely to experience "teenage problems"

FIRST CONFLICT: WHO IS GUESTING WHO

If not from our own experience, then from the experience of friends, we are all familiar with situations in which the older generation believes that it has “settled the young to itself”. This is the main problem. If it does not arise or it is allowed, a large family becomes friendly and happy on its own. The division of the territory into “more or less our own” leads both to the famous conflicts of two housewives in the same kitchen, and to explosions of unexpected emotional fountains on the topic “what lies where” and “who is doing what wrong”. How not to get into such a situation?

Make a decision about living together only all together and only consciously, it should not come from questions of area or prosperity, but only from the desire to live together.

Behind conflicts over little things is often a problem that people try to hide from themselves. Feel free to talk about what worries you and never rely on the fact that "everything will work itself out somehow."

Transform conflicts into discussion. Do not hesitate to speak, do not forget to listen and hear the interlocutor.

No arrogance: in one family, everyone is the owner. In this case, a great responsibility lies with the "receiving" side. "Coming" family members will inevitably get used to it for some time. They need help in the process of assimilation into a large family.

Remember that “rich” and “poor” cannot exist within the same family: if you are one family, then everyone is equal, regardless of the income of each.

Respect each other and learn from each other.

By slightly adjusting a number of these simple rules to the wave of your family, you will learn to get even more pleasure from life together and will be able to raise happy children who will grow up, and someday, shaking their own grandchildren in their arms, they will tell them about the holidays and everyday life of their wonderful childhood in a large and friendly family.

CONFLICT TWO: EDUCATION OF CHILDREN

When all members of the family try to raise a child "in chorus", conflict inevitably arises. Parents should behave in their own way, and grandparents - in their own way, this should not be frightened, and no one should interfere with this. The most important thing in raising a child is coherence and consistency. All disputes, disagreements and problems that arise in the process of raising a child must be discussed without his presence.

Children in a large family are a common concern, a common problem, a common joy and a common responsibility, equal for both parents and grandparents. Therefore, it is unacceptable to perceive the older generation as free nannies and, conversely, their little participation in the upbringing of children.

Do not harbor illusions of achieving the absolute by the primary distribution of responsibilities: change, support, replace each other.

CONFLICT THREE: DIFFERENT HABITS

A large family is always faced with the need to get used to the different rhythm of life, to the habits and characteristics of its members. Someone likes to listen to loud music, someone cannot live without the frequent reception of guests, someone needs morning news, and someone loves silence and early evening sleep. How to fit all this into one system?

Respect other people's habits and hobbies and try to understand them. There are cases when the daughter-in-law hated her father-in-law for his passion for football, and the opposite is also known - when the daughter-in-law and father-in-law ask their mother-in-law and husband for a match: he captivated her so much with his football passion!

Zone the territory: each family member should have the opportunity to be alone.

Negotiate! Coordinate in advance with home visits of guests or summer holidays. It's always nice when your opinion is considered.