How women become workaholics. Workaholic woman - who are you? The main signs of female workaholism

Before main task for a woman it was to be a mother and a wife. Then came the production work. And now a woman must make a career and combine everything else with it. Usually, in the head of girls, such life attitudes are already formed from the school bench. So we move towards workaholism ...

In Europe, the USA, Japan, societies of anonymous workaholics have been created. They operate according to the scheme of the Society of anonymous alcoholics. People enter the society anonymously, tell about themselves and, with the help of other members, under the guidance of a psychologist, look for a way out of the current situation.

In our country, unfortunately, there are no such societies yet, but you can turn to a psychologist.

Workaholism is dangerous not only when the body literally works to the limit, without even getting a bit of a break, but also because workaholics are more likely than others to suffer from physical ailments.

Workaholics develop neurosis, have problems with the stomach, heart, endocrine system, there are pains in the back. It is workaholics who are most at risk of a heart attack.

Well, there is no need to say that the body of workaholics wears out and ages faster, they appear, the complexion deteriorates, hair begins to fall out.

What to do?!

First, the workaholic must himself realize his problem and want to change the situation. You can contact a psychologist. You can try to figure out for yourself why the meaning of life is focused on work.

Try to build relationships with relatives, make friends or at least acquaintances.

Often workaholism masks the fear of loneliness. And then, upon gaining friends, a loved one, work will cease to occupy a dominant place in life. Other healthier interests will emerge.

Psychologists say that a woman is pushed to workaholism low self-esteem. She, even if sometimes unconsciously, wants to prove that she can do her job better than others, including men.

However, do not leave work for days The best way raise self-esteem.

A woman, in order to feel beautiful, desirable and successful, needs to pay attention to her appearance, do fitness. Yes, and discussing your achievements with friends heals the soul better than the mean praise of the authorities.

The best advice is to leave work at work, not bring it home either in a laptop, or in a briefcase, or in your head.

When you come home from work, it is best to take off your shoes, take a relaxing, and at the same time tonic, slightly warm bath with the addition of 4-5 drops. essential oil mint.

It’s also good to lie down for half an hour after a hard day’s work. dark room, placing a roller under your feet, and put a mask on your face.

For dry skin

Grate half a pear, squeeze the juice and add 1 tbsp. a spoonful of sour cream and 1 teaspoon of honey. Apply on face for half an hour.
Rinse with warm water, wipe your face with an ice cube.

For oily skin

Soak in boiled water room temperature a piece of black bread.

Take 2 tbsp. spoons of mass, add 1 tbsp. spoon sour milk and ½ teaspoon lemon juice. Apply to face for 15-20 minutes. Rinse with warm water, wash with cool.

Mask for all skin types

Rub 1-2 tbsp. spoons of blueberries, add so much cream to get the consistency of sour cream, apply on face for 20 minutes, rinse with a little warm tea leaves green tea wash with cool water. Better mineral without gas.

The twentieth century brought to life a previously unknown type - a workaholic woman, a careerist. Where do they come from? Is workaholism a disease?

Long gone are the days when a man ran through the fields and forests for a mammoth, and a woman sat in a cave, kept the fire going and carved the book “One Hundred Mammoth Dishes” on a stone. Gone are the days when a man chased Saracens through the deserts and dunes, and a woman sat at the window, embroidered a cross on his cloak for him and waited for him to return, marry her and she would bear him twenty children. Or she won’t return, and she will have to go to the monastery, according to materials from the Mail.ru website.

Nowadays, a woman herself will stop a galloping mammoth and tear off its trunk. We're proud of it, aren't we? Try to go to any women's forum, timidly declare that you want not to work, stay at home and live at the expense of a man. And then stock up on popcorn and watch the scandal escalate. AT best case you will be pitied like a miserable kluch. In the most likely - will be branded with shame, as a kept woman. They will explain to you in an accessible way that a working woman is normal, it deserves respect and, in general, this is the path of self-realization. That a woman should look like a lady, think like a man, and work like a draft horse. Who owes?.. Eee... mmm...

One way or another, the twentieth century brought to life a previously unknown type - a workaholic woman, a careerist.

Immediately make a reservation that hard work in the old days often fell to the lot of women. Open Nekrasov: they milked a cow, and walked on water, and stinging rye. But the cow and the rye are urgent worries, a vital necessity the key to family survival. Now, in order not to die of hunger, it is enough to work at least as a cleaner. However, women are rushing up career ladder sleep three hours a day and see their own children for years only big holidays. Why? What for?

Psychologists give many explanations, but they agree on one thing: workaholism is a deviation from the norm, an “alarm bell”. A workaholic is not just a person loaded with work. Between a busy worker and a workaholic is the same gulf as between a person drinking champagne on New Year, and a drunkard.

How did you get to this life?

Workaholism is a disease, and like any other addiction, it does not arise from scratch. Of course, financial difficulties are one of the most common causes, according to which a woman begins to “live” at work, gradually getting more and more involved in this process. For example, she is faced with the need to arrange her life after a divorce. However, the desired goal seems to have been achieved: after hard work, she receives the wealth that she initially aspired to, but the woman can no longer stop. Because with the growth of opportunities, the needs also grow - and to meet new needs, new money is needed, a bonus, high interest from transactions, new position, new step in a career - and so on ad infinitum. If for men material wealth- First of all, a means of personal self-affirmation, then a woman perceives everything through the prism of the family: income-generating work is a guarantee of the comfortable existence of her children, even if the children are still only in the plans. Such workaholism on financial grounds is especially acute, of course, in women who do not feel close to strong male shoulder. They are either lonely or cannot fully rely on their man. It's easier for them to take everything on themselves. “I am a horse, I am a bull ...” - a rude but well-aimed Russian proverb about such workaholics.

However, it also happens that a woman who has a reliable everyday “rear” and male support becomes dependent on work. However, if you look closely, it is easy to find a whole bunch of reasons for disappearing at work - no longer material, but purely psychological.

Perhaps she is desperately trying to prove her worth to someone - a man or parents. Sometimes it happens that parents are no longer in the world, and they haven’t seen this man for ten years, but the installation is still alive, everything works and drives the woman to a new round, and the end of this race is not foreseen, because the competition is not with a specific opponent but with your own subconscious. Complexes are a cruel thing.

Workaholism is a lonely disease...

Lonely and unhappy in their personal lives, women also often fill the void in their souls with work. This common type of sublimation has not yet been canceled.

The desire for equality is also a powerful incentive. Mammoth is mammoth, but it's boring! A woman wants to be on an equal footing with a man, to arouse his interest and respect not only with culinary arts. Moreover, there are so many successful business women around, against whose background it is so easy to get lost. In general, it is still unknown what is more harmful for the female psyche - workaholism or a stagnant swamp in which there is no opportunity for self-realization, to establish itself. Both are fraught with depression, breakdowns and neuroses.

By the way, about business women walking around. Competition in the female environment is almost sharper and more ruthless than in the male. Woman with early years learns that its purpose is to constantly improve. She must lose weight, take care of herself, dye her hair and learn to walk in high heels. get higher education and Good work. Be no worse than others. And then it will be possible to build a happy and harmonious life. In this respect, competitive workaholism is similar to anorexia. As a rule, all anorexics go on the first diet in order to be self-confident and like men. But over time, they lose their measure, the original attitudes fade into the background and disappear altogether. Exhausting women may be well aware that most men are not attracted to walking skeletons. But now this only irritates them: what do these men understand in female beauty! So it is with workaholism: happy and harmonious life everything is postponed and postponed, because at work every day there are new projects and tasks, there is absolutely no time. What was a means to an end has become an end in itself.

There is also such a phenomenon as the “excellent student syndrome”. A woman who is accustomed to being the most competent and professional cannot afford to relax, let herself go: she is terribly afraid of making a mistake, of seeing the disapproval of her superiors. She always does everything brilliantly at a price. total immersion to work. Interestingly, “A” students rarely make a career and can sit in an inconspicuous position for years, performing the duties of half of their department alone, in this case it is especially obvious that workaholism is a disease of unfulfillment.

"A student syndrome" is most directly related to the pathological dependence on work. This addiction is often associated with fear of real life. This is understandable: at work, a workaholic is in his element, he knows all the moves and exits, he is the most valuable and irreplaceable, he controls the situation. But as soon as he crosses the threshold - and he finds himself in a real world, full control over which even the best professional cannot take into his own hands.

Don't forget what you are working for! Work is secondary. In the first place should always be happiness and harmony in life for you and your loved ones.

Society sees careerism as a serious handicap family life. And if men get away with it, then with respect to career women you can often hear harsh criticism. Others consider them selfish, who do not care about everything except personal success and earning a lot of money.

career woman

give more precise definition the concept of "careerism" can be one in a simple way- to counter him with workaholism. hardened career woman it is not enough to achieve a high professional level. She, like air, needs constant improvement, obtaining new positions, recognition and respect from colleagues (both subordinates and superiors).

And it doesn’t matter which way, even over the heads of others, the main thing is the end result. From a careerist workaholic woman has a responsible attitude to work. Her great desire to ideally complete the task is based on only one thing - not to let down the leader, whose assessment is very important to her.

Workaholic woman

If the first feels the need to rise higher and higher, despite the difficulties. And the second, being absolutely sure that the fate of the company depends on it, takes all the responsibility on its shoulders.

In fact, it is not at all difficult for both women to create a family, it will be difficult for those who will be next to them. Husbands of career women, as well as husbands workaholic women sometimes it is very difficult in a relationship with a spouse.

Every man has his own ideal of a woman, and everyone understands femininity in their own way. But they all want to see their partner first of all as a keeper family hearth, warmth and comfort.

Sometimes men show weakness, and for them great importance has how safe it is to experience such moments next to your passion. BUT female careerist she cannot allow weakness not only for herself, she does not forgive her and her life partner. To a large extent, this is the reason for its success.

No one disputes that loving your job is wonderful. But only in the case when it does not turn into the meaning of being, and leaves time for something else. Thousands of texts have been written to explain to mankind the difference between a healthy passion for work and an excessive dependence on it. Many experts are sure that careerism and workaholism are inherent exclusively in immature individuals who are unable to lead a full-fledged career. happy life, i.e. this also applies workaholic women and career women .

Both options exclude harmony with yourself and the world around you, do not allow you to learn to experience the joy of something pleasant without guilt.

O female careerists , who have only one goal, to build a career by any means, psychologist Anetta Orlova will tell.

Why is female workaholism dangerous? Photo: Lori.ru.

What threatens female workaholism

In our crazy century, ladies do everything - they work, raise children, take care of the household and themselves. It’s not uncommon for women to be workaholics…

What can be said about modern woman? He will stop the galloping elephant and tear off his trunk. This phrase quite capaciously reflects modern reality! Indeed, in our crazy century, a woman can and does everything - she works, raises children, takes care of the household, goes in for sports, communicates with friends and, at the same time, looks good! And a workaholic woman has become quite common. If everything is OK with the first points - we are dealing with a harmoniously developing personality, then in the latter there is some danger. After all, workaholism is a very serious problem which can lead to very serious consequences. Many experts even refer it to behavioral addictions. Speaking in simple words, a person is dependent on the process of work itself. Everything else is money, success is secondary.

So, the main "symptoms" of workaholism:
1. You constantly stay up late at work, go to work on weekends or work at home. However, there is no good reason for this, and usually you do it for free.
2. On vacation, you are always in touch with your boss, by phone or e-mail.
3. You are being followed intrusive thoughts about work and unfinished business.
4. You only talk about work all the time. In general, you have nothing more to talk about. For a thousand years you have not gone to the theater or cinema, you have not visited exhibitions, you have not read books. With friends communicated only through the Internet.
5. Present increased requirements to yourself and to your work.
6. You are often visited by the fear of failure or, even worse, dismissal. And sometimes he captures you so much that you begin to terrorize your husband with your anxiety.
7. Outside of work, you cannot relax, because you constantly think only about work. Rest is a sign of laziness, wasted time.

I want to emphasize that in everyone's life there are periods of emergency work. Or circumstances make you work a lot (you have to raise children alone, for example). A less dramatic option is that you are really passionate about your work, this is your favorite thing that gives you sincere pleasure. Workaholics do not work for the result, but just to work.

What is the reason for workaholism, especially for women:
1. Perfectionism or "A student syndrome" - the desire to do everything perfectly. Usually this comes from childhood: parents persistently broadcast the idea that everything must be completed to the end and as best as possible.
2. Loneliness. Work - affordable way fill the inner void, cope with melancholy. Remember Lyudmila Prokofievna from Office Romance.
3. Low self-esteem. Individuals who constantly doubt their competence need daily confirmation in practice. They need constant recognition from others. Receiving recognition from the boss or colleagues, even imaginary, they maintain their self-esteem.
4. The desire to meet social requirements - it is fashionable to be a careerist.
5. Departure from reality, or simply - an escape from problems. It's comfortable and effective method, which, unfortunately, does not solve the difficulties, but dulls the pain.
6. Unwillingness to live is extreme case. This is a peculiar, slow way of suicide, akin to extreme sports and bad habits. Life is so hard and unbearable that a person literally burns himself at work.

What is the risk of a workaholic woman?
1. Family. Let's start with the fact that it is more difficult for a workaholic woman to start a family due to lack of time. In addition, there are few men who will endure next to them a person who is completely absorbed in work and who has no emotional forces for a family. Children deprived of care and motherly warmth, as a rule, have a whole bunch of psychological problems.
2. Health. Emotional burnout which leads to depression. The state of anxiety, hopelessness and lack of fulfillment are frequent companions of workaholics. Life fades, day after day the same thing happens - work, work and work. In addition, somatic disorders appear - a decrease in immunity due to lack of rest, an ulcer due to permanent nerves and malnutrition, problems with the spine from constant sitting and so on.
3. Career. Emotional burnout not only does not contribute to career growth and even hinder it.
4. Personality. Obsessed with work, a person sharply limits other areas of his life and does not develop at all. In essence, housewives and workaholic women are equally boring because of their limitations.
5. The meaning of life. As I have already said, a workaholic does not work for the sake of the end result - prosperity, increasing professional competence, status, but for the sake of the work process itself. As a result, having retired, he is completely unclaimed. The meaning of life is lost.

What to do if you realize that all this is about you?
First of all, find the cause. Why is it so attractive workplace? Why don't you want to go home? What will happen to your life if you take work out of it? Having found the cause, you will already solve the problem by 50%.
Next, look for an antidote. Strengthen your self-esteem if you are afraid of being fired. Raise your professional level. Remember that the ideal does not exist in this world, that there will always be someone better and smarter, therefore, you can strive for perfection endlessly and never achieve it. Make a schedule of working hours, if you suspect you have problems with planning, read books on time management. Learn to rest. It is very important to remember that in order to work well, you need to have a good rest. Do not close your eyes to domestic problems - go to a psychologist, it helps. Loneliness is also not a tattoo, it is not so difficult to get rid of it. Go on dates, attend different events. Try to develop in different areas. And most importantly - remember, the worst thing is to face the problem, everything else is much easier;)

We are all used to the stereotype that the family is the main thing for a woman.. Husband, children, comfort, tasty food- she must live for this and in the name of this.

But what if you do not fit into the generally accepted framework, and you really like working more than spending time at home?

The causes of workaholism in women and the secrets that will help keep the family together are in our material today.

Looking for origins

Workaholism in general, and women's in particular, is different, and conditionally it can be divided into two types.

Character specificity . Such a woman from childhood loves to be the best: she has a gold medal, a red diploma, courses and an MBA as a gift to herself for the New Year. She is always passionate about her work, not personal relationships, dreams of a new project, not wedding dress. Men should just love such a woman for who she is, without trying to remake, because this is impossible.

External causes . Sometimes business zeal manifests itself in a woman suddenly. Tireless work can compensate for the desire to prove something to parents, loss of understanding or betrayal in marriage. Do not discount the obvious financial problems.

Learning to act correctly

We have 5 secrets , which will help you find a work/live balance, and help your family to suffer less from your absence.

1. Watch your emotions . A workaholic wife leaves early for work and returns late. After a busy day at work, she comes home tired at best, irritated at worst.

Your task : regulate your working time, do not work on "wear and tear". Bad mood and a deadline at work a couple of times a month is one thing, and if you are a daily "despot", it is unlikely that your family will like it. Indifference in the style of "Mr. Darcy" is also down: your husband and children need your love and tenderness.

2. Delegate . If you are at work until late in the evening, someone should take care of household chores. Find an opportunity to hire a person for cooking, washing, cleaning the apartment and problem situations in the style of “children have nothing to eat” or “I don’t have clean socks, and you only think about work” will become much less.

Your task : lead the process and take into account the wishes of the family. you make up full list tasks for the week, and your assistants complete it. Control is also yours: a nanny who is not liked by children or a housekeeper who imposes her tastes is a bad choice. is also a great helper.

3. Don't blame . If the husband performs most of the duties at home and with the children, appreciate it. Even if he didn’t quite succeed in something, for example, dinner was burnt, not all the dishes were washed in the evening, and the children went to bed unwashed - this is not scary.

Your task : forget about the mentoring tone, you are not his mother, you are his wife. Wise and patient. Tell me, help, smile, but just ignore! A story when you are always dissatisfied with everything, and he tries to justify himself and quickly eliminate all the shortcomings - even to nowhere.

4. Choose a man . The main thing here is not to make a mistake! A good companion for a workaholic woman will be an energetic businessmen. You drive around to your offices in the morning, and return home in the evening to have a “who wins” competition at dinner. Truly, it is an idyll!

Second good option: balanced domestic husband, ready to take care of household chores without any problems. Doesn't it bother him to go to the store, pick up the children from kindergarten and school, check the lessons and wait for you in the evening for dinner? Do not pay attention to the lamentations of the mother-in-law and do not listen to the envious whispers of colleagues! If you are both happy, then why not?

Your task : face the truth. If a husband, instead of rejoicing at your work achievements, is angry, envious or jealous, most likely he has problems with self-esteem and self-realization. Maintaining such a marriage will be difficult. Husband relaxed and sat on your neck? Whether it's worth it is up to you two to decide.

5. Make time for family . Yes, they miss you and they always want to see you more often. This is an axiom, but there is absolutely no reason to quit your favorite job, you just need to find family time only .

Your task : at least once a week do not think about work. Put down your phone, don't open your laptop, you are at home. Play, go for a walk, cook together in the kitchen, chat about anything, as long as everyone is happy. In your case, the amount of time spent with your family should translate into quality. And then they will be firmly convinced that they have the very wife!

They say, happy man In the morning he happily rushes to work, and in the evening he hurries home with pleasure. If everything agrees with you, then we are sincerely happy about it!