How to meet people if you are an introvert. Networking for introverts: how to meet introverted people

When you go on a date, nothing worse can happen than has already happened in your fantasies. Relax and let the ship called “Romantic Relationships” sail freely. But if you may not take the initiative when meeting extroverts, then with introverts everything is much more complicated. These tips will help you establish contact with a person who is used to existing in his own world.

Introverts work well in couples

We are used to thinking that an introvert is a person who is terrified of society. Perhaps he is afraid close attention those around him, but he knows how to interact in pairs. If this person decided to get to know you, it means that he is really comfortable in your company.

Make sure your plans do not conflict with his principles

To ensure your date goes off without a hitch, make sure that the activity or place you choose will be to the liking of your new acquaintance. Introverts love secluded places, hidden from prying eyes, a cozy atmosphere and a friendly atmosphere. They love to go on a date to a cafe or cinema. They won't mind if watching a movie in a cinema smoothly flows into romantic dinner. Introverts also love excursions to museums, walks in the park, and going out of town for a picnic. But from the idea of ​​going to the most fashionable night club you'd better give up the city. Avoid noisy and crowded places: your friend's birthday or karaoke bars.

Take a time out

Introverts quickly get tired of communicating with unfamiliar people. If you know about this feature, it will be easier for you to adapt to the character of your chosen one. Therefore, on the first date, a short break is advisable. You can go outside to breathe fresh air. You can go your separate ways for a while. But don't let this time-out go too long.

Relax if your partner is too quiet

When you were anticipating a date, you may have created illusions about the character of your new acquaintance. It is easy to communicate with those who do not mince words. It's easy to talk when the interlocutor knows a dozen jokes on every topic. On the other side, awkward pauses in a conversation can be very unnerving. Pauses are inevitable when communicating with introverts. This is not because they don't want to talk to you, but because they choose their words carefully. Their minds are always busy, so don't take any pauses to heart.

Smile

Introverts give the impression of being unsociable individuals. You can break this stereotype if you take matters into your own hands. Smile and joke more often. Your new friend will definitely support this initiative.

Accept his personality traits

We have already talked about the fact that introverts’ brains are always at work. These people analyze the situation, observe and weigh a lot before drawing conclusions. They are the best critics and good professionals but when it comes to romantic relationships, they need to make every effort to turn off the “analyst”. It is difficult for them to immediately concentrate on real life.

How to end a date?

Since the introvert listens to the voice of reason and analyzes for a long time, his actions are a little late. That is why this person comes across as slow or sluggish. We advise you to initiate the end of the date. Come up with some plausible excuse in advance. This must be done so that your new acquaintance does not “burn out.”

Don't beat yourself up

An introvert's habits can be very confusing. You may not get a thank you message over the phone after the meeting, but that doesn't mean your new acquaintance didn't enjoy the evening. Accept him for who he is. Don't torment yourself over "trifles." A wait-and-see attitude on your part is obviously a losing one. Better listen to the voice of reason and send SMS first.

Trust your intuition

Introverts avoid noisy communication; they do not speak beautiful words and don't make big gestures. But this man will never waste his time communicating with a girl he doesn’t like. Therefore, trust your intuition and do not put pressure on a man with requests to meet more often. If the first date turns into a second and even a third, you have every chance of getting a devoted fan.

There are no rules

Some psychologists claim that couples in which one is an introvert and the other an extrovert are the most harmonious. According to others, both partners should be “of the same feather.” However, there is no law of attraction other than your heart.

Professional networking coaches Gil Petersil, Maxim Chernov and Svetlana Tolubeeva say:

Rule #1: Filter People

It is clear that dating is difficult for an introvert. That's why The best way start new ones business relationship- be more selective. If you have just come to a business event, then it would be wise to first take a closer look at the people, observe them and only then make contact. You will definitely feel your person.

Rule #2: Approaching one person is the simplest thing

The most convenient people to meet are singles. Remember, they want to talk to you a lot more than you want to talk to them. Even if some seem passionate about their mobile phones- it's just an image. That's what they're really thinking: "Please come and talk to me! Please come and talk to me! Somebody come and talk to me!" They, just like you, are a little shy, and therefore do not know what to do. Take the initiative. The next piece of advice is about this.

Rule #3: Don't look for perfect words

There is no exemplary strategy for behavior when you start communicating with people. Confidence and calm are the keys to successful contact. Just do something! If you find yourself at an event at the serving table, ask the person standing next to you: “Have you tried this salad yet? I just can’t decide, this is what it’s like here.” big choice!" And then introduce yourself.

Rule #4: Try to avoid large crowds of people

Avoid large groups of people at events, where you will be more comfortable with no more than two people.

Rule No. 5: Listen carefully to your interlocutor

When you start communicating with new people, you need to not only be active, but also learn to take their interests into account. Remember that listening carefully to your interlocutor (and introverts know how to do this) is not only an opportunity to get a lot useful information about him, but also the opportunity to make a good impression.

Rule #6: Avoid asking "why?"

Ask open questions, avoid closed ones, because they imply only two answers: yes and no. For example, you want to ask your interlocutor about work. It's better to ask what he likes about his job rather than asking if he likes the job. It is also important not to start the question with “why”, this word makes the interlocutor take a defensive position, give preference to “what” and “how”. Watch how you formulate questions, try not to remind them of something unpleasant. For example, you should not ask why a person quit; it is better to ask another question: “What prompted you to change your job?”

Dating an introvert can be very difficult if you are an extrovert yourself or are simply unfamiliar with the nature of introverts. They do not like to be in large unfamiliar companies; they themselves behave very calmly and reservedly. So, be patient: there is great amount gestures, by observing which you can establish a good relationship with an introvert.

Steps

Dating an introvert

Stay away from noisy companies. It is much easier to meet an introvert away from crowded places. If you and an introvert are already good friends, invite him to take a walk or join you in company when you need to run errands - such communication will not seem intrusive and will give you the opportunity to get to know each other better.

• If you don't know an introvert well enough, try to correct this by approaching them when they look relaxed and there is no one else around.

1. Find out his opinion. Introverts don't often talk about their lives themselves. Try to start a conversation about something that really interests you. Ask a few direct questions, and it's quite possible that the introvert will trust and open up to you if you give him the opportunity.

   Show your romantic interest through body language. Often introverts don't take the first step because they overthink the situation and analyze it, weighing it up. various factors. However, you can easily convey your interest and intentions to a person using correct language bodies.

   Start the conversation with general topics. An introvert will make contact much easier if you have common topics for discussion. This is because you can get straight to the point (the preferred method of communication for introverts) rather than engaging in small talk first.

   • Find out what he likes to do and how he prefers to spend his time. if you have mutual friends, you can find out this information from them. This way, you can easily discuss with an introvert those topics that interest him.
   • Don't pretend that you are only interested in the same things that he is. Introverts are usually very observant, so a person will definitely smell a catch if you pretend to be interested in something that fascinates him.

2. Noisy, crowded places should be avoided. Introverts can feel nervous and anxious when they find themselves in large groups. They may seem distant, aloof and distracted by what is happening around them. This behavior is due to the fact that they are trying to cope with external influence instead of focusing on you.

   • If you notice that an introvert is losing eye contact or looks into the distance without participating in communication, check with him, perhaps he needs a short break. Most likely, the introvert will take this opportunity to think things through and sort out his thoughts.

3. Try to actively communicate in a company with an introvert. Introverts usually do not participate in group discussions. So try asking them a question directly to bring the person back into the conversation. He will appreciate your directness and desire to help him integrate into the conversation and the team.

How to communicate with an introvert

1. Avoid closed questions, which can be answered in monosyllables - only “yes” or “no”. Try asking the person open-ended questions, for example: “What do you think about ...?”, “How do you feel about ...?”, “Why do you think that ...?” Questions like these will help the introvert understand that he has time to think and answer honestly, which will most likely lead to an interesting conversation.

   • Some introverts become animated around familiar people, while others seem completely distant. Don't give up too quickly, but if someone repeatedly answers your questions with monosyllables ("yes" or "no"), this can be taken as a clue that the person needs time.

“You know, you need to get out of your shell.”

“Well, just start talking to people...”

“Attend different events more often”

“No one will like you if you’re shy like that and silent all the time.”

If you're an introvert, you've heard this advice more than once. Especially when it came to your personal life. Again and again, holding back anger, despair, and sometimes shame during such conversations, you wondered:

“Do introverts simply have no chance to arrange their personal lives while remaining themselves?

And to find love, you have to pretend to be someone else?

Indeed, the very idea active search and many dates, it seems, was invented by an extrovert...

You need to communicate a lot with different people, often make new acquaintances, be cheerful, positive, open, talkative... Alas, an introvert has almost no chance of winning in this game. Therefore, many, although suffering in their souls because of this, prefer to simply give up on their personal life.

But if someone else’s rules don’t suit you, you can always come up with your own. Nobody can stop you from doing this. Moreover, introverts have many qualities that any extrovert would envy.

It was these discoveries about themselves, dating, men that helped them change their lives. Now they can help you bring your dream of happy love closer:

Tip 1 from Yulia: Just accept it

Since childhood, I have had little contact with other people. My family did not understand this and often criticized me for my “recluseness.”

I tried to pretend to be more sociable, but inside I was angry with myself that it was not working out well. I was angry at people. I was also terribly tired of trying to seem not who I am.

At some point, I realized that I couldn’t pretend forever in a relationship with a man. I can't always play the role of an extrovert. So why did he start lying to him from the very beginning?

Of course, when I meet people, I don’t start telling men that I’m an introvert and therefore they need to communicate with me in a special way. It’s just that when people ask me how I like to spend my weekends, I answer honestly. I say that sometimes I like to relax alone, I like to read, I like small companies of close friends. I also like to go to the pool. In the summer I go to the mountains.

I also make sure to ask the man what he does in free time. After all, if we have a relationship, we will spend a lot of time together. This way I was able to quickly understand whether this time would be interesting and enjoyable for both of us.

My advice: There is no point in pretending to be an extrovert if you are an introvert at heart. Just accept it - you won’t play someone else’s role all your life. When I realized that I am an introvert and I like it, it turned out that I have a lot of cool things that others can envy.

Tip 2 from Natasha: A little preparation won't hurt

Well, I can't be spontaneous. I can't say something funny and cheerful. And with new people, your tongue generally sticks to the roof of your mouth.

It helped me a lot to think in advance what I would tell a man about myself. Short story, for about 5 minutes about who I am, what I like, what I don’t like, what interests me, where I go.

I wrote and edited this story in advance. Special thanks to Alla for these tasks. I had the opportunity to choose all the words in a way that I liked. Nobody rushed me, no stress.

Then I reread my story out loud and corrected it a couple of times. Then I tried to remember it. Then she stood in front of the mirror and spoke a couple more times. I remembered the essence of what I wanted to convey about myself, rather than memorizing specific words (so as not to sound like a robot).

This has helped me a lot on dates. When I was nervous for the first 15-20 minutes, at least I wasn’t silent and didn’t “hoot” like before. In addition, I had the opportunity to see how the man reacted to my story, and not worry about me saying something wrong.

My advice:“Prepare your sleigh in the summer.” It's easy to be funny and spontaneous when you have everything prepared in advance. I heard somewhere that politicians short speech for five minutes it cooks for three weeks. Finding love was important for me, so I also prepared for dates in advance

Tip 3 from Zhenya: It’s better to know what to ask in advance

When meeting men, I was very worried and my record stuck. I started telling everything about myself without stopping. Although I'm usually a pretty quiet person. Sometimes she told more than she should have.

And I was afraid to ask the man anything, I didn’t want to be too intrusive or ask something that he might consider too personal. I expected the man to tell everything himself. Usually they didn’t talk and the communication somehow didn’t go well.

It really helped me to draw up questions in advance that I wanted to clarify with the man.

Moreover, I asked questions that are important to me in order to understand whether a man is right for me. I also discussed these questions in advance at the training and with a couple of my friends, so I knew for sure that I would not ask anything inconvenient.

My advice: Think in advance about what you want to know about a man. Then divide these questions into several meetings (so that the meeting does not turn into an interrogation). This is how the conversation begins to take shape, and you can get to know the person faster

WITH tip 4 from Veronica: Meet on my territory

My communication with men began to develop better when the first couple of times we met in a place familiar to me. I have a couple of favorite cafes, restaurants, my favorite pastry shop.

I started agreeing to dates only there. And I was very surprised by the effect. I myself did not expect that I could feel so confident and easy. The conversation flowed as if by itself, I was able to tell a lot about myself and learn about the man. The most interesting thing is that our relationship immediately developed without tension.

Then for 3-4 times we could go where the man liked. But it was already easy for me with him, because we already seemed to know each other.

My advice: To reduce worry, make first dates in familiar places. Even if you and the man are not suitable for each other, at least you will have less stress from the date itself. And if you approach, you will get to know each other without stress

Tip 5 from Anna: More movement

For me, the first couple of dates were just hard labor. I was so worried before, worried during, worried after. I was constantly coughing from excitement and it was difficult to communicate.

It helped a lot when I was advised to choose some kind of activity for my first dates. Go somewhere together (once we went on an excursion, and then we were able to discuss it very interestingly). Do something together - rollerblading, for example.

In general, the main thing is not to sit at the table, looking at each other and feverishly thinking of what else to say.

At that time, I suggested to my future husband that he go to a crossbow shooting master class for the first time. He agreed. It was fun. It turned out that he is a good shooter, and he also taught me how to shoot.

My advice: You will always have time to sit at a table in a cafe. And if you and a man do something together, in an unusual environment it will be easier to find topics for communication and then there will be a couple more meetings to talk about.

I'm sure you liked the article and the tips were useful to you. Be sure to say thank you to the participants of the “Golden Key of Communication” training in the comments. Yulia, Natasha, Zhenya, Veronica and Anna.

Did you come to this page by accident?

There are people who prefer to almost completely isolate themselves from society and it is because of this that they are considered very strange. But still, if we are talking about single guys, then sooner or later natural instincts They will tell them that it’s time to start relationships with people of the opposite sex – girls. But how an introvert can find a girl and start a relationship with her is quite unclear, because such people find it difficult to communicate with others.

But still, this does not mean that such a task can be called impossible, because there are no things in life that cannot be changed or corrected. Introverts and social phobes are also ordinary people, they just have special treatment to life and they need to look for just such a girl who is ready to accept their views on social sphere and separate them. Yes, again, it will not be so easy, but the task is completely solvable.

Introverts are people who don't actually leave the house. These people prefer a lonely lifestyle, so the issue of finding a soulmate who would share the hobbies of such a person is very acute. It is difficult for people with similar characteristics to find their other half and this happens for the following reasons:

• a person does not actually go out, so the likelihood of meeting pleasant, beautiful girls, is reduced to virtually zero;
• people, instead of communicating in in social networks, prefer computer games;
• Guys like this are hard to find mutual language with young girls who actually always love fun companies, and spend time with friends;
• young people do not perceive society as it really is and this prevents them not only from making new acquaintances and relationships, but also from getting a job, making friends and even going on a visit;
• a person is fixated only on his lifestyle and personal beliefs, which few people will like;
• Usually, such guys have many complexes, and girls don’t like timid, insecure loners.

Considering all these factors, you can completely understand why it is so difficult for an introvert to find a girlfriend.

It is important! If a guy with similar characteristics finds himself the same girl, then their relationship will not last, because two boring people they will not be able to stay in a place for a long time, because sooner or later they will become unpleasant to each other. It is better for an introvert to look for a live and sociable girl, which can pull him out of the world of loneliness and show that the world outside the house is more interesting and diverse.

All problems are in the head

To meet a girl, an introvert or social phobe will have to make a lot of effort. First of all, the guy must understand that all the problems that prevent him from communicating and making new acquaintances are solely in his head. Somewhere at the subconscious level, the guy tuned himself to the fact that he is better off himself, there is nothing good outside the house or even the room, the people around him are too bad to communicate with.

If you look at the problem from the inside, you understand that there is back side medals and a person was born to be socially adapted, then after a while you can completely change your attitude towards life. To find a girl, you need to understand that relationships between opposite sexes are normal and provided for by nature. People should meet people, start relationships, start families and live happily.

Yes, the guy will have to spend a lot of time getting rid of all the complexes from his head, but the result is worth it. By slightly changing the way he thinks and lives, a young man will be able to find for himself good girl, which can change his views regarding comfortable and happy life in society.

Preparing ourselves for relationships

To find a girl with social anxiety, he must prepare himself well for this moment. Preparing for a relationship requires taking some things into account important nuances, which are worth knowing in more detail.

Let's learn about the psychology of girls

No one will argue that women's psychology is slightly different from men's. It is the features female psychology you need to study social anxiety to find your other half. And so, to finally meet someone and start a relationship, young man It's worth knowing about the following things:

• what kind of conversations and attentions girls like;
• what you absolutely cannot do or say in front of a lady;
• what is the best place to take a girl to;
• what advantages of a girl should be emphasized;
• what topics for conversation with girls will be the most relevant and interesting;
• what gifts and tokens of attention do ladies prefer?

Female psychology is a delicate thing, so the issue of studying it must be approached carefully and responsibly in order to get the desired result.

Developing as a person

Girls are interested not only in guys' pumped up bodies or their money. The lady, first of all, is interested in the young man as a full-fledged person. So, in order to develop as an interesting and extraordinary personality, a guy should act according to the following scheme:

• explore your passions and develop your talents;
• try to learn as much as possible and apply your knowledge in practice;
• develop not only your body, but also your intellect;
• You shouldn’t be afraid to be non-standard, because it is in some special habits and nuances that personality manifests itself;
• you need to have your own position regarding certain things, strictly adhering to it.

Yes, develop as interesting, full personality It won’t be easy, but it’s worth doing for the sake of interesting acquaintances with girls.

Note! Girls are interested in guys who are well-rounded, because they are more interesting as individuals and you can communicate well with them.

Getting your appearance in order

Often, guys who avoid society and going out in public hardly take care of their appearance. You need to clearly understand what an unattractive, neglected guy is. Not a single girl wants to see you around. That is why it is worth tidying up your body and becoming attractive. On the beautiful and interesting guy, ladies will definitely pay attention.

Looking for ways to meet people

It is not at all easy to understand how social phobes find girls, but in fact, having gathered all their will into a fist, they do it just like ordinary people. Today there are many options for places where you can meet girls and this is what helps many couples get married interesting relationships.

Social media

- it is quite popular and interesting option. It is thanks to sites like these that you can start interesting acquaintances and find a girl without leaving home. The main thing is to decide to write to the girl you like and do it correctly. Dating on social networks quickly develops into interesting relationships, and many couples who met on the Internet have long become families.

YesNo

Public places

You can meet many interesting girls. If you go to a park, cinema, theater, exhibition or concert, you can meet many interesting girls, with whom a relationship is likely to begin.

Transport

Young people can. All you have to do is get out of the house. Ride a little by bus, go somewhere by metro, during rush hour, or choose another mode public transport. Often, dating in transport ends very successfully.

Never be afraid of failure

Social phobes and introverts are people who are too afraid of failure. But it’s worth gathering all your will into a fist and realizing that virtually no one succeeds on the first try. But if you pursue your goal persistently and persistently, then after a while you can still get the desired result. Failures are just temporary difficulties that actually always end in success. Don’t be afraid, because fear will not be the best helper for a new relationship.

Small conclusion

If you put your thoughts in order and appearance, then even people like social phobes and introverts will be able to find girls. The main thing is to understand that there is nothing bad in society and man was created precisely for this. to live among other individuals. New acquaintances and relationships make this world more interesting and beautiful, so you shouldn’t close yourself within 4 walls and wait for happiness to fall on your head.