Issues for discussion. The outline of joint activities with children is aimed at developing students’ ideas about the rules of behavior accepted in society, about such concepts as “honesty”, “conscience”, “decency” and the opposite concepts “

If you ask moms and dads whether they are trying to instill honesty in their children, everyone, without thinking for a minute, will answer: “Yes, of course.” Truthfulness is included in the list of qualities that parents early years strive to instill in the younger generation.

But then why do kids lie so often? Who do they learn this from? Today we will try to figure this out and at the same time learn how to raise an honest child.

Raising an honest person is a rather difficult, but important task. Adults do not always understand how to react to children’s deception, and for some reason disciplinary measures do not solve the problem.

In order to gain the child’s trust, parents need to help him understand what truthfulness is by example.

Children's honesty and lies - characteristics of age

According to psychologists, children begin to lie to adults around the age of three. At this time, children experience a so-called crisis three years old and independence begins to emerge.

However, parents understand children's independence in their own way, confusing it with responsibility, and are in a hurry to give the child various assignments and responsibilities.

For children, independence means something completely different - the ability to decide and do everything themselves. So they try to control mom and dad, sometimes through deception.

To the elder preschool age(five to six years old) children already understand how important it is to be honest, and yet they often lie. At this age, many children have a well-developed imagination, which is why they respond to the increasing prohibitions of their parents with fiction.

By the age of eight or nine years, a child already clearly sees where the border between fantasy and untruth lies. Moreover, he is fully aware of how important it is to be an honest man and that lying is bad. main reason dishonesty at this age - fear of punishment and distrust of adults.

Parents, faced with yet another lie, believe that they have done everything possible to instill sincerity in their child. But is this really so?

Practical steps to raising an honest child

Experts advise focusing all your efforts not on correcting vices, but on preventing their occurrence. We offer several recommendations that will help instill honesty in children.

1. Don't label yourself

Under no circumstances should you call your child a deceiver, a liar or a liar.

Such shortsightedness can lead to children eventually meeting this definition. For parents, the best way out is to talk with their child.

Say that you don’t like deception, that is, the child’s behavior, not the child himself. Firmly but calmly explain: “I’m not sure what you’re saying is true. I, too, am sometimes afraid to tell the truth about what I did. Therefore, I understand you, but I expect honesty on your part.”

2. Don’t provoke children’s lies.

This rule means that you should not ask questions that will lead to lies and untruths. For example, these could be trap questions such as:

• “have you already cleaned your room?” - this creates a reason for the child to deceive. Better to say: “I see you haven’t cleaned the nursery yet.” In this case, you do not have to encourage the child to get out and come up with an excuse;
• “Are you telling the truth now?” – even adults will answer positively to such a question, let alone children. Try starting the conversation with different words: “I have a feeling that you are keeping something quiet. Don’t be afraid, because you won’t face any danger for telling the truth.”

3. Find out why children cheat

There are many reasons for children's lies. It could be:

• fear of punishment;
• increased parental demands;
• developed imagination;
• desire to win at any cost.

If your child cheats during games and then categorically denies cheating, you should not lecture him. First you should encourage him to admit: “I know that you would really like to win.” Then talk about how you can win fairly, and talk about the importance of fair behavior and following the rules of the game.

4. Praise the truth

Whenever your offspring is honest with you, be sure to praise him. The child will feel proud if he hears the phrase from his parents: “You’re great for telling the truth. I'm glad you're acting this way."

Try to explain that doing well and decently is necessary because it is right, and not because of the desire to receive a reward. Therefore, you should not financially reward children for honesty - this will lead to the opposite effect.

5. Don't forget about the rules of behavior

Of course, your desire to raise an honest person is commendable, but it is worth explaining that there are words (even if true) that can offend other people. Therefore, ask your child to thank you for your attention, even if he did not like the gift that his grandmother or aunt gave him for his birthday.

6. Promote honesty

Read fairy tales to children, watch cartoons together, listen to audio stories in which deception and liars are shown only with negative side, and truth always triumphs over untruth.

Before you play a new cartoon, watch it and think about what it can give your child. Unfortunately, many parents underestimate the influence of such video and audio products on the formation of the personality of the younger generation.

7. Introduce uniform requirements

Psychologists note that the most sophisticated manipulators are brought up in those families where parents do not know how to agree on the observance of common rules.

Already at four years old, a child understands perfectly well what needs to be said to his mother or grandmother if he cannot come to an agreement with his strict father. Uniform requirements and unconditional implementation will help prevent unwanted child behavior.

You run the risk of raising an inveterate liar if the most popular word in your parent’s vocabulary is “impossible.” The baby will begin to defend himself against prohibitions, coming up with new explanations: “Grandma allowed me to take candy” (although grandma didn’t say anything like that).

Try to reduce the number of prohibitions, leaving only those related to safety and compliance with the daily routine. The child, feeling more free, albeit within boundaries, will learn to be responsible. Therefore, he will not have to deceive you.

9. Set a positive example

The best way to raise an honest person is to be honest with your child.

Think about how your baby will perceive the situation when you cite illness so as not to go on a visit, or mention the baby’s younger age in order to save on a ticket to an amusement park. Don't be surprised if children's honesty is also relative.

If, nevertheless, the child witnessed your lie, do not hesitate to admit that you made a mistake by deceiving someone. Explain that similar situations happen in life to everyone, but you should avoid them and be honest with other people.

Are you wondering how to raise your child to be an honest person? Everything is not as complicated as it seems at first glance.

Be a model for children, try to find truthful answers, of course, taking into account the child’s age. Don't scold for honest confessions, and then the children won't have to lie to you.

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Kiseleva Svetlana Nikolaevna

MBDOU "Child Development Center - Kindergarten No. 165"

Orenburg, Orenburg region

"Didactic games and situations for the formation moral qualities with children of senior and preparatory school groups"

"WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD"

Target:

Teach children to distinguish good behavior from bad.

Pay attention to the fact that good behavior brings joy and health to both yourself and the people around you, and, conversely, bad behavior can lead to misfortune and illness.

Demo material: excerpts from works of art, life facts about good and bad behavior of a person, children, group.

Progress of the game:

Children use facial expressions and gestures to express their attitude to good and bad behavior (bad behavior - they make an angry face, shake a finger; good behavior - they smile, nod their heads approvingly). Answer the teacher's questions.

Sample questions: “Today Seryozha ate snow again. Guys, is this good or bad? Children show with facial expressions and gestures that this is bad. What could happen to Seryozha? The children answer. And so on.

"NOBLE ACTIONS"

Target:

To instill in children the desire to do things for the sake of other people. To form an understanding that we call an action not only heroism, but also any good deed for the sake of another person.

Material: ball.

Progress of the game:

Children are asked to list noble deeds towards girls (women) and boys (men). The teacher throws the ball into the hands of one of the players, he names a noble deed and throws the ball to the next player at his request.

For example, noble deeds for boys: call a girl only by her name; when meeting a girl, say hello first; give up your seat in transport; never offend a girl; protect the girl; help the girl carry heavy things; when a girl gets out of the transport, you need to get out first and give her your hand; the boy must help the girl get dressed, give her a coat, etc.

Noble deeds for girls: call a boy by name only; when meeting a boy, say hello; praise the boy for showing attention; do not offend or call the boy names, especially in the presence of other children; thank the boy for his good deeds and deeds; etc.

“HOW DO I HELP AT HOME”

Target:

To form ideas about the household responsibilities of women and men, girls and boys. Cultivate a desire to help people.

Material: flower made of multi-colored cardboard, removable petals, inserted into the middle

Progress of the game:

Children take turns tearing petals from a flower, naming the duties they perform in the family (watering flowers, sweeping the floor, caring for animals, “raising” younger sisters and brothers, repair toys, etc.). You can diversify the game. Let the children list the responsibilities that their mothers and then their fathers perform in the family.

"LET'S COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER"

Target:

Material: any flower (it is better if it is not artificial, but live).

Progress of the game:

The teacher brings " Magic Flower”, which will help the children express their feelings. Children are encouraged to pass the flower to any child and compliment them. If someone is ignored, the teacher pays a compliment to these children.

"WISHES"

Target:

Teach children to be attentive to each other, to be able to show sympathy for children of the same and opposite sex. To consolidate knowledge about the qualities of masculinity and femininity.

Material:

Progress of the game:

Children stand in a circle. Passing a toy to each other, they say their wishes: “I wish you...”

"BAG OF BAD DEEDS"

Target:

Teach children to be attentive to others, peers, and loved ones. Clarify children’s understanding of bad actions and their consequences, develop the ability to express judgments.

Material: black paper blots, bag.

Progress of the game:

Children receive black paper blots, the teacher offers to put them in a bag, and tell them what bad things he did today, as well as put negative emotions in this bag: anger, resentment, sadness. And when the children go for a walk, this bag is thrown away.

"POLITE WORDS"

Target:

To instill in children a culture of behavior, politeness, respect for each other, and a desire to help each other.

Material: story pictures, which depict different situations: a child pushed another, a child picked up a fallen thing, a child feels sorry for another child, etc.

Progress of the game:

Children look at the story pictures and voice them out in polite words.

If the child finds it difficult, ask him about the picture suggestive questions. For example:

Which Magic word do you need to say for a friend to give you a toy?

How do you thank someone for their help?

How should you address adults? (Call by first name and patronymic).

What should you say when meeting a person?

What should you say to everyone when leaving home?

What should you say when you wake up in the morning, when you arrive in the morning? kindergarten? What words can you wish each other before going to bed?

What will you say if you accidentally push or hit someone? etc.

Children should know and use the following words in life: hello, goodbye, see you soon, be kind, be kind, please, thank you, excuse me, Good night, and etc.

"PIGGY BANK OF GOOD DEEDS"

Target:

Encourage children to take positive actions and deeds.

Material: paper hearts, decorated box.

Progress of the game:

Children receive paper hearts, the teacher offers to put them in a “box of good deeds”, but at the same time the child must say what good he will do today or has already done.

“It’s very good that there are so many good deeds you commit. It’s always nice to see your kind attitude towards each other.”

"FLOWER OF GOOD DEEDS"

Target:

Teach children to be attentive to others, peers, loved ones, and to do good deeds for them.

Clarify children's ideas about good deeds, develop the ability to express judgments.

Encourage children to take positive actions and deeds.

Cultivate the desire to leave a “good mark” about yourself in the souls of people.

Material : flower made of multi-colored cardboard, the petals are removable and inserted into the middle.

Progress of the game:

You can play the game individually with a child, or with a group of children. Children are invited to collect the “Flower of Good Deeds”; for this, each child needs to take a petal and say some good deeds. Children list positive actions one by one, and the adult connects the petals to the middle. When the flower is collected, the children applaud each other.

"WISHES"

Target:

Teach children to be attentive to each other, to be able to show sympathy for children of the same and opposite sex. To consolidate knowledge about the qualities of masculinity and femininity.

Material: heart toy (any toy).

Progress of the game:

Children stand in a circle. Passing a toy to each other, they say their wishes: “I wish you...

"FINISH THIS SENTENCE"

Target:

Develop the ability to understand and determine the mood and well-being of your loved ones.

Progress of the game:

Dad is upset because...

Mom was upset because...

Grandfather looked at me sternly because...

The younger brother burst into tears because...

The conclusion of such a game could be the following questions:

What needs to be done to improve the mood of a loved one?

Have you ever been attentive to the mood and well-being of your family?

"ANTS"

Target:

Progress of the game:

Teacher (seating the children around him): “Has any of you ever seen an anthill in the forest, inside of which life is seething day and night? None of the ants sit idle, everyone is busy: some carry needles to strengthen their homes, some prepare dinner, some raise children. And so all spring and all summer. And in late autumn, when the cold sets in, the ants gather together to sleep in their warm house. They sleep so soundly that they are not afraid of snow, blizzards, or frosts. The anthill wakes up with the onset of spring, when the first warm Sun rays begin to break through the thicket of needles. But before you start the usual working life, the ants are throwing a noble feast. I have this proposal: the role of ants on a joyful holiday day. Let's show how the ants greet each other, rejoicing at the arrival of spring, and how they talk about what they dreamed about all winter. Just don’t forget that ants can’t talk. Therefore, we will communicate using gestures.” The teacher and children act out the story told through pantomime and actions, ending with a round dance and dancing.

"LIFE IN THE FOREST"

Target:

Formation friendly relations, sympathy for others, drawing attention to the partner: his appearance, mood, actions, deeds (methodology of E. Smirnova).

Progress of the game:

Teacher (sits on the carpet, seating the children around him).

“Imagine that you find yourself in the forest and speak different languages. But you need to communicate with each other somehow. How to do it? How to ask about something, how to express your friendly attitude without saying a word? To ask a question, how are you doing, clap your palm on your friend’s palm (show). To answer that everything is fine, we tilt our head to his shoulder; we want to express friendship and love - we affectionately stroke the head (show). Ready?

Then we started. It’s early morning, the sun is out, you just woke up...”

The teacher unfolds the further course of the game at random, making sure that the children do not talk to each other. Communication without words eliminates quarrels, disputes, contracts, etc.

"GOOD ELVES"

Target:

Formation of friendly relationships, sympathy for others, attracting attention to the partner: his appearance, mood, actions, deeds (methodology of E. Smirnova).

Progress of the game:

The teacher sits on the carpet, seating the children around him.

“Once upon a time, people, fighting for survival, were forced to work day and night. Of course, they were very tired. The good elves took pity on them. As night fell, they began to fly to people and, gently stroking them, lovingly lull them to sleep. kind words. And people fell asleep. And in the morning, full of strength, they set to work with renewed energy.”

Now we will play the roles of ancient people and good elves. Those who sit on right hand from me, will play the roles of these workers, and those on the left will play the roles of elves. Then we will switch roles.

“So, night came. Exhausted from fatigue, people continue to work, and kind elves fly in and lull them to sleep...”

A wordless action plays out

"CHICKENS"

Target:

Formation of friendly relationships, sympathy for others, attracting attention to the partner: his appearance, mood, actions, deeds (methodology of E. Smirnova).

Progress of the game:

Educator: « Do you know how chicks are born? The embryo first develops in the shell. After the allotted time, he breaks it with his small beak and crawls out. A big, bright, unknown world opens up to him, full of mysteries and surprises. Everything is new to him: flowers, grass, and shell fragments. After all, he had never seen all this. Shall we play chicks? Then we’ll squat down and start breaking the shell. Like this! (Show.) All! They smashed it! Now let's explore the world- let’s get to know each other, walk around the room, sniff “things.” But keep in mind that the chicks can’t talk, they only squeak.”

EXAMPLES OF PEDAGOGICAL SITUATIONS

1 situation:

The girl wiped it with a damp cloth construction material and accidentally spilled water from the basin. The girl is confused, and a boy comes up to her... What will he do?

Situation 2:

The children each drew on their own piece of paper, and suddenly the girl spilled paint on her friend’s drawing. What happened next?

Situation 3:

The girl came to kindergarten with beautiful new bows. The boy approached her, pulled her pigtail, and it unraveled. The boy laughed and ran away. What happened next?

Situation 4:

“What would mom say?” You spilled milk, stepped on someone’s foot, broke a vase, offended a friend, etc. What would mom say? (children act out the situation).

5 situation:

Olya gave a gift to her mother. The brother ran and some of the leaves fell to the floor. Olya was ready to cry, but her brother said the magic word. Which? Olya smiled and told her brother...

6 situation:

Grandmother sewed a dress for Katyusha’s doll, but it turned out to be too small. Katyusha was upset, and her grandmother asked to bring her a doll and sewed another dress. The granddaughter was happy. She…

7 situation:

Vanya was building a garage for his car. Misha asked: “And I will build with you.” How would you ask a friend about this? Misha didn’t know how to build, and his construction project fell apart. He said: “I didn’t break the garage on purpose...” What word should Misha have said? And they started playing together.

8 situation:

Imagine yourself leaving kindergarten home and see a boy pushing a girl into a puddle. Her shoes are wet, the bow on her head is barely holding on, and tears are streaming down her face. What would you do?

Truly, honesty is the most scarce commodity in the world today. There is no country on earth where businessmen would not steal, where politicians would not deceive, and ordinary citizens would always comply with the letter of the law. And no matter how they try to fight corruption and deception, through campaigns and even executions, nothing helps.

The world is mired in lies and deception. And when another corruption scandal breaks out; when the war to “spread democracy” begins again; when children are taken away from families “for their own good”; when “if you don’t grease it, you won’t go”; when someone lives in a house for a million dollars, and veterans huddle in what can hardly be called a home; when “modern and creative” demand “fair elections”, threatening to “get out of this country”... then a natural question arises about honesty: where does it come from and where does it go, can it be “registered” permanently or does it not stay in one place for long? place, how to raise her and is it even possible?

Russian liberals, for example, believe that all Europeans are very honest in ordinary life- “even the police don’t take bribes there!”

The deification of North Atlantic civilization has reached such an extent among Russian liberals that even corruption and other scandals of the top leadership of economically developed countries and the flow of self-criticism of citizens of these countries in the media do not change anything in the views of Russian “hamsters”. “In Europe and America, people are honest, votes are not stolen there!” - the Liberoids stupidly repeat their mantra. Therefore, they say, we need to take an example of honesty from the West.

Well, let's clarify where honesty came from in the West, what kind of honesty it is, what its nature is, and whether it is possible for us in Russia to develop the same honesty.

Discussing the problem of honesty in the world, we note its periodic absence among politicians and businessmen, among doctors and lawyers, among police officers and scientists, among motorists and passers-by... It turns out that a lack of honesty is sometimes characteristic of all segments of the population, for all professions, for of all peoples. We are all honest, but sometimes we commit dishonest things. Some people do more honest things, others less, depending on circumstances and personal beliefs.

Corruption exists in all countries of the world. It is also present in the police of all countries, but each country has its own percentage of corrupt police officers. But the calculation of these percentages depends, among other things, on the honesty of the accountants. And here a policy comes into force, which in the West, beloved by Russian liberals, is not without reason called a “dirty business”, which can change all the figures as it pleases. What kind of honesty can there be after this?

The mind is designed in such a way that a person cannot always tell the truth. The mind always “weighs” information, measuring the amount of truth and lies. That is why man is given reason, to understand when he can speak the truth and when he should not.

How and when does the mind acquire these powers of truth manipulation? After all, a person is not born with such abilities! Policemen, businessmen, politicians were not born deceivers and liars. Our children are absolutely honest up to a certain age and only gradually learn not to always tell the truth when asked about something.

Children don't lie - until a certain age they still don't know how to lie. The child's brain is not yet physically developed enough for the full functioning of the mind. While the mind is just waking up, children do not lie. But as soon as the biological brain tissue in a person’s head matures for the full functioning of the mind, the first thing the awakened mind does is begin to dose the information coming from it, begins to play with information. The awakened mind begins to use information for its own purposes, weighing truth and lies in answers.

If in the first grade almost all children obey the teacher and honestly answer the question posed by the teacher, working without cheating and without prompts. Then after ten years of studying in Russian school It is almost impossible to find a student who never cheats or uses hints.

How does this happen? And why is this happening?

Probably, a natural process occurs when the awakening mind of a child, learning about the world, begins to play with information, studying people’s reactions. It is at this time that the child discovers and becomes familiar with a certain set of values, which determine his further behavior. And if at this time you allow the awakening mind to accept a lie as the truth, then the child will grow up to be a deceiver.

Honesty is cultivated from childhood. The concept of honesty is ingrained in a person in the family, from kindergarten, from school. A person (mind) acquires basic skills in manipulating information during the learning process, communicating with parents, peers, and adults. It is schooling that reveals, consolidates, establishes or destroys the norms of morality and honesty in a person.

What phenomenon in the school learning process most clearly indicates honesty in children's thinking? Of course, cheating, hints.

Cheating is always a lie and deception. Deceiving oneself, since the student remains ignorant, receiving a “passing” mark for successful cheating. Deception of the teacher, since the teacher evaluates unreal knowledge and gives the grade undeservedly, inadvertently encouraging the deceiver to deceive further. Deception of other children, since the “cheater” undeservedly receives a place among the “high achievers”, corrupting others with the opportunity to get a good grade through lies and deception. In the end, cheating is a deception of society, the country and the state, since with the help of “fake” assessments a person builds his life and career, being an ignoramus. How many such ignoramuses and liars do we see in everyday life!

Cheating in school reveals children's ideas about honesty most clearly. When he cheats, the student understands that he is doing something bad, but he does it, trying with petty lies to get rid of the need to make volitional efforts on himself to achieve a certain result. And as adults, such children transfer into the adult world a perverted understanding of how to learn and live.

Cheating and hints are negative phenomena. Everyone admits it educational systems peace. Indeed, cheating clearly indicates a person’s dishonesty - with the help of lies, such a person receives better scores, allowing him to occupy higher places in society. It can be said quite definitely that dishonesty acquired through cheating in school breeds dishonesty in adult life when a person uses lies to build his own prosperous life at the expense of others. And then honesty is lost, which becomes a corrupting lesson for others.

What kind of value systems are children introduced to? different countries? How are different countries trying to eradicate cheating and cheating? How is honesty taught to young citizens?

In Russia, cheating and cheating are officially condemned and attempts are made to combat them. True, almost to no avail - how can people who themselves once went through the same school successfully combat hints and cheating?

Russian schoolchildren often glorify hints and cheating: “there is no greater valor than cheating under the teacher’s nose!” Sometimes children give advice based on the principle “get yourself lost, but help your friend.” Mutual assistance, a sense of community, a sense of team, a sense of camaraderie, friendship - everything serves Russian children to justify the lies of cheating and hints. The guys understand that “copying and suggesting is not good,” but there is more high standards which must be observed first. Russian cheating and tips come from the Russian mentality, based on collectivism and conciliarity. Here lies and deception are condemned, but not rejected, as they help preserve friendship, team, and society.

Everyday petty dishonesty coexists in Russian society with honesty, which is always present in people - “by helping a friend (by giving advice) and by cheating, I myself remain honest and fair “in life.” Such people are considered valuable friends and collaborators. Sometimes such honesty even allows you to do good career, since honest people you can rely on are always needed by dishonest leaders.

Lying, cheating and giving tips at school seem like too insignificant actions compared to friendly relations with classmates, compared to universal justice, and honesty towards the country and state. As a result, the entire society turns a blind eye to these violations, although it formally condemns them. Over time, as a person grows up, the little lies of cheating and hinting become the big lies of corruption and other wrongdoings. But at the same time, there still remains a feeling of friendly unity of Russian society: we are all voluntary tipsters and “cheaters” - petty liars - who make it up. But at the same time, some of us believe that “we must fight corruption,” someone is fighting “for fair elections,” and someone has become a big liar, appropriating, one way or another, the wealth of others and calling it “honest.” business."

The current fighters for the integrity of the Russian electoral system, the “cheaters” and tipsters themselves, lie, covering up their “hidden thoughts” with biting phrases. Where will there be honesty in elections when a schoolchild sees nothing wrong with his own cheating and the cheating of his neighbor at his desk, he gives hints himself and uses the tips of his friends when answering the teacher’s questions? As long as this continues, the fight for fair elections will itself be dishonest.

Without changing the “cheating” mentality of our children, we will never get an honest citizen, we will never get an honest society. The fight “for fair elections” should begin not with the installation of security cameras at polling stations, but with schools. More precisely, from ideological ideas that need to be introduced into children's mentality, from an ideology that does not allow one to copy and suggest. The question is where to get such an ideology?

According to many testimonies, cheating and cheating in schools in America and Europe are much less common than in Russia.

They say that from childhood they teach children not to give hints and not to cheat under pain of severe punishment. The Western education system aims to identify and reward the most capable and developed children through fair examinations. Therefore, schools encourage children to inform and spy on each other in order to prevent cheating and hints.

“Every man for himself” is the principle of Western education. From the early childhood a person is accustomed to fair competition, and fair competition cannot be combined with dishonest actions - tips and cheating. And then each student himself turns out to be interested in being honest, otherwise HIS rating will decrease due to the fact that he was caught cheating; and the student himself monitors the students around him so that they too are honest, otherwise HIS rating will again decrease due to the dishonesty of others.

This system of mutual and self-control is not aimed at promoting honesty in itself, but at truly honest ranking of children according to their abilities to participate in adult competition for the sake of a career. As a result, society receives “honest” young people who are accustomed to achieving everything independently through their own work, but for whom Honesty is not the goal of “living in truth”, but only a means in competition with each other. Such citizens honestly participate in the life of their society and state, while remaining dishonest towards those who live outside their cozy, honest little world.

How does one develop honesty in children? What ideological principles are embedded in various educational systems?

From childhood, the principle of individualism is introduced into the consciousness of Europeans, when “you are my friend, but the truth is dearer.” Western, capitalist, bourgeois individualism is based on a liberal ideology that denies faith in God (the formal Catholic faith and super-formal Protestantism do not count). In the West, man serves not God, but wealth, money, Mammon. This determines everything.

Liberal honesty, cultivated in the West, is used for the personal enrichment of a person at the expense of others, near and far. Formal open honesty for “internal consumption” really exists there and it is this that “powders the brains” of Russian liberals. But honesty open to the whole world in Western society does not at all mean that people are honest with each other in everyday life - there are plenty of libertines and thieves in the “honest” West.

And it’s even more stupid to talk about the honesty of the Western political and financial-economic elite - representatives of these elites act in relation to ordinary people with the conviction that they “have the right”, by virtue of their position, to deceive and lie. How often do political and economic figures in the West sacrifice public opinion to their ambitions and preferences, from the abolition of the death penalty for murderers to the bombing of civilians in “peace enforcement operations.” Honesty at the level of ordinary everyday life, and dishonesty at top level making political and economic decisions - this characterizes the Western world. And it doesn’t matter that there are “fair elections” in the West, that everyone in the West votes honestly, that votes are counted honestly, if the voting results do not fundamentally change anything in a dishonest society.

Honesty in the liberal world is utilitarian, applied only to one's own, and serves only a select circle of “civilized” citizens. Honesty in Western democracies is bought, since everything is bought and sold under capitalism. You can use money to make some areas relatively honest, but it is impossible to make a liberal society fair to all people on the planet, since it is through robbery that the wealth of the Western world is created.

Western wealth, which makes it possible to spend money on internal ostentatious honesty - honesty within their own countries, is based on the robbery of all peoples of the earth, based on the unjust world order created by Europeans on the planet. All The “honesty” of Western society is based on its total dishonesty towards all people on the planet.

Yes, European honesty allows for fair elections, but it destroys nature, society and people. Does Russia need such honesty?

“They steal in Russia” - this statement, to a greater or lesser extent, is completely true at all times. But we must not forget that dishonesty in Russia always coexists with the concept of justice, introduced into the Russian mentality by Orthodox Christianity. You can be dishonest in some ways everyday cases, while remaining fair to “humanity as a whole.”

Thief Man Orthodox world sometimes he becomes a hero because he “does not spare his life” for the sake of the country, for the sake of the people. In the West, this is impossible to imagine, since there a thief lives solely for his own pleasure, for the money necessary for his personal comfortable life. And Western people do not intend to give their lives for anything, since “we only live once” - a person lives for pleasure and well-being own body. In Russia, a person lives for the sake of truth and justice, and also steals for his comfortable life, but he values ​​his soul more than his body, as in the West.

That is why it is easier and more convenient to live in the West - there, honesty at the everyday level allows you to create a comfortable and clean world, people live here and now, live for themselves, their body, for their pleasure. And they die out in this comfort due to low birth rates, because, precisely, they live for themselves, their relaxed bliss, and not for the sake of something “outside their body,” not for the sake of children, for example.

And this is why, by the way, the Russian army has always been invincible in clashes with Europe. Europeans, just like Russians, desperate fighters, take care of their body more than their soul, considering the earthly prosperous life of a person freed from faith in God to be the highest value. Russians, in accordance with the Orthodox faith, have always considered the soul to be the highest value, and not the body - their body, their earthly life can be given for honor and justice, for dignity and freedom, for God and the fatherland.

For centuries, Russian life has always been no more expensive than truth, honor and justice, while nothing is more expensive than personal life for a European. That is why, despite the excellent military experience and skill of the Europeans, despite Russia’s gigantic military losses in manpower and equipment, the Russians usually beat the Europeans - there is nothing to contrast with the dedication and heroism of the Russian soldier. European experience and knowledge have always lost to the Russian Orthodox faith in the immortal soul.

And this is why Europeans hate Orthodoxy so much, rightly considering it the source of Russian strength. That is why, for many centuries, liberals of all countries, including Russian liberals, have been deliberately attacking Orthodoxy, faith in God, since the path to the liquidation of Russia passes only through the liquidation of the national Orthodox faith of Russians. And it seems that in the 22nd century they will cope with this task.

The honesty of European civilization is not Russian honesty.

European honesty is liberal honesty, atheistic and individualistic. Honesty, which allows Europeans to live happily by oppressing the rest of the world, existing due to the privileges that Europeans created for themselves by robbing other peoples. This honesty of Europeans towards each other was bought at the expense of the dishonesty of Europeans towards other peoples of the planet. European honesty is dishonesty towards the nature of the earth, suffering from thoughtless capitalist progress, it is dishonesty towards the people of the planet who suffer in poverty from an unjust world order, it is dishonesty towards the indigenous Europeans themselves, who are dying out due to low birth rates.

The honesty of a liberal atheist is based exclusively on “earthly methods” of education - this is the “carrot and stick” system known to everyone since ancient times. Snitching and denunciation in European schools are precisely designed to instill such “honesty.” But this honesty does not extend beyond the European community, where carrots and sticks operate. For the rest of the people of the planet - not Europeans - there is only a stick.

The goal of the European education system is to educate a law-abiding “honest” person who could join the “every man for himself” competitive struggle, the struggle for European values. These liberal values ​​encourage snitching and snitching in school, individualism and godlessness in European society, relative honesty in Euro-America, and absolute dishonesty towards the nature of the earth and the peoples of the planet (including the indigenous Europeans themselves).

In Western schools, honesty among children is cultivated in order to accurately rank children. It is of an applied nature. Children may be dishonest in life, but they will never cheat, as this is fraught with a decrease in their rating, and therefore a slowdown in their careers. Honesty in the West is flawed, partial, applied - honesty for rating, for career, honesty for sale.

Russian honesty is something between the atheistic “Code of the Builder of Communism” and Orthodox Christian morality.

In the Soviet school, in the communist value system, which excluded religion and God, honesty was proclaimed value in itself, regardless of anything. You just had to always be honest in life. Why exactly? Why is honesty needed, if with the help of deception, with the help of cheating and hints, you can achieve the same results, and even greater ones, without bothering yourself with the work of studying? This question ultimately destroyed the great Soviet Union.

Communist (atheistic) ideology cannot answer the “simple” question: why one must live honestly. Just as liberal (atheistic) ideology, founded in the Renaissance as a rejection of faith in God, cannot answer this same question. Because atheism is unable to justify the need for honesty, just as it cannot justify anything at all, since the rejection of God is a rejection of the criterion of truth. And having lost the truth, a person finds himself in a situation of complete relativity, when “everything is possible,” when “a person must be tolerant of everything,” when any perversion has equal right to exist with chastity.

It is impossible for a “reasonable person” to remain absolutely honest always and everywhere. Consequently, a person is forced to use some kind of criterion that determines what is truth, with the help of which one can dose truth and lies in communication with different people. But such a criterion that clearly separates truth and falsehood is possible only with faith in God. And if such a criterion is absent, as in atheistic countries of liberal dictatorship, then its place is taken by various “conditional criteria”, which each person can invent for himself as much as he likes.

The modern liberal atheistic world demonstrates the complete triumph of relativity, when it is impossible to determine where the truth is and where the lie is, since there is no truth, because there is no God. This is why it is sometimes difficult for Russians to understand the motives of the policies of the countries of the North Atlantic liberal civilization - for us, truth and lies have not yet become equally worthy concepts. Russians have not yet cleared the divine morality from their mentality, instilled by a millennium of Orthodoxy, which defines truth, honesty and justice.

And very often, North Atlantic politics baffles Russians: how can it be that with such, in words, love of humanity, with such beauty and purity of Euro-America, European affairs turn out to be mercilessly bloody. How are sermons about humanism combined with violence to impose democracy on “backward” countries? This hypocrisy is the result of raising Europeans in a system of atheistic liberal values. This is what European honesty is all about.

So what do we want? Honest school graduates - atheists and individualists, like in the West, fair elections and dishonest government? Or “cheapers” and tipsters, petty thieves ruining Russia, and at the same time “fighters for justice”? How to combine European honesty with Russian? How, for example, can children justify snitching and informing on each other? Is it possible to get rid of cheating and tips without snitching and informing?

Russia is now following in the footsteps of liberalism and Russians, just like Europeans once upon a time, are gradually losing faith in God, weaning themselves from divine morality, and losing their understanding of truth and lies. However, Russians still continue, according to the Orthodox tradition, to consider snitching and informing dishonest and unacceptable, which is incompatible with the capitalist rating system for assessing students.

In Russia, for now, because of the Orthodox worldview, ingrained in the genes Russian mentality, people have not yet completely learned to live for money (although in many ways this path has already been passed). But as Russia abandons the Orthodox faith, and faith in God in general, as Russia liberalizes, Russian society will gradually become purer and more honest in appearance, European-style. And the end result of ridding Russia of dishonesty according to liberal recipes will be snitching and denunciation of students against each other, “like in Europe,” fair elections... and the complete extinction of Russians due to low birth rates, and then the collapse and destruction of Russia.

So, there are only two ways to cultivate honesty.

Or, continuing liberal development, gradually adopt European godless values ​​and methods, fostering “honesty for competition.”

If we want to live honestly, say Russian liberals, “like in the West,” then we should completely adopt Western values, resulting from liberal ideology. We must raise children in the atheistic faith of worshiping money and wealth. It is necessary to encourage individualism, informing and snitching in children. And then we will enter the “kingdom of heaven of European freedom and prosperity,” and then we will have fair elections. And then it is stupid to now protest against juvenile justice, pedophilia and bestiality. All restrictions on any perversions should be immediately lifted in order to become a European democratic and free country.

Or we must really return to God, to the Orthodox Christian faith in full, cultivating genuine honesty in the younger generation.

True honesty can only be found in a person who truly believes in God, since it was “the Lord who created all people equal,” which means that all people must be treated with truth. Honesty truly an Orthodox person does not allow lies between people, which automatically excludes cheating and tips, injustice and oppression. “Living not by lies” means living with God in your heart. Such a person will not allow fraud either in elections, or in business, or in politics (and then politics, freed from atheism, will finally cease to be a “dirty business”).

Yes, there is only one way to truly get rid of dishonesty, cheating and tips: we must give children faith in God, introduce them to the morality of Christ. And then God in a person’s soul will not allow him to lie, copy and suggest. Then, not for the sake of personal enrichment, not for the sake of winning in competition, honesty will flourish in schools, but for the sake of saving the soul, for the sake of higher truth and justice. This will be true honesty, caused not by fear of human punishment, not by fear of competition, but by the free choice of a person who believes in God. And only on the basis of such honesty is the resurrection of Russia for a prosperous life on earth, as well as the whole world, possible.

Without the return of God to the education system of the people, there will never be “fair elections” in Russia, and soon there will be no Russia itself.

- I didn’t break this machine! She broke herself!

— I didn’t take the ice cream from the refrigerator! My sister must have eaten it!

- I did not do homework because I didn’t know what they were asking us!

A great many similar examples can be given. All of them are based on the child’s attempt to deliberately mislead his parents in order to obtain his own benefit. What is surprising is that already in such early age children clearly understand how they can outwit their parents and what arguments they can give to justify themselves. Over the years, the tactics of lying become more complex, the arguments and justifications become more and more plausible, and the lies become more and more subtle. The intuitive feeling of the danger of punishment turns on unknown mechanisms in the child's mind, often forcing parents to believe in lies. The accumulated experience of successful deception makes the lie reliable weapon, put into action if necessary.

For lying children under the age of five, many parents make allowances for their age: it is believed that at this age lying is not yet possible as a meaningful act. Psychologists tell us not to worry, arguing that children’s lies are not dangerous, since they are an attempt to express the child’s own fantasies, who cannot distinguish fantasies from reality. However, this age is the time when children are actively “groping” different ways"make life easier." During these years, the child has a range of responsibilities and prohibitions that he must pay attention to, and the need for ways to “simplify life” accordingly increases. Observations say that the more demands are placed on the baby, the more likely deceit on his part. But is it really that safe? What if lying becomes a regular occurrence? How to distinguish “childish lies” from non-childish ones? What is a lie anyway? How, after all, do you raise an honest person? Let's try to answer these questions.

What is a lie?

Before discussing lies on the part of children, a few words should be said about lies in general. By understanding the nature of lies as such, we will be able to understand them as they are performed by children.

Speaking in simple language, a lie is a statement that does not correspond to reality, uttered for the purpose of obtaining some benefit. Lying almost always evokes a feeling of fear and condemnation from the conscience. The peculiarity of lying is that it always comes into dissonance with the innate sense of truth: we can feel the lies of others, we feel uncomfortable when we ourselves tell a lie. But it should be said that the practice of lying develops a certain skill in us and makes deception automatic. There are people who “lie as written,” without any remorse at all, without fear of exposure, but, on the contrary, enjoy deception. Here you can recall an interesting illustration: someone said that conscience is a triangle with sharp corners, located in our chest. When we do bad things (including lying), this triangle begins to rotate, causing us pain. But if for a long time do not pay attention to its rotation, the corners of the triangle gradually grind away, conscience turns into a disk and can rotate as much as you like without causing suffering. This is, of course, an allegory, but there really is something to think about. The practice of conscious, unscrupulous acts drowns out the voice of conscience, leaving our nature less and less human, allowing animal instincts to take leading positions in our lives.

The motivation for lying can be found in many aspects of human nature:

• in fear of punishment,
• in laziness,
• in an attempt to avoid difficulty,
• in a bad example, etc.

It should be noted here that a lie is always a lie: whether it is expressed verbally (out loud, in some kind of affirmation or denial), or in silence at a moment when one should speak out loud. Children and adults have no differences in their incentives to lie: in both children and adults, all of the above motives for falsehood can be observed. The only differences are in the scale of the untruth and in the ability to hide the untruth. I remember the story of how elder sister exposed her five-year-old brother's lies just by looking him in the eye. The child could not withstand direct gaze and confessed to deception. Unfortunately, everything changes with age, and with a simple glance no longer possible.

Lying can easily be called a bad habit that develops over time. And to eradicate this bad habit, like anything else, it takes time and effort.

Is there a "holy lie"?

A common belief is that, depending on the situations, telling lies may not be such a bad thing. For example, a seriously ill person is told a diagnosis that is not what it actually is, in order to avoid worries and deterioration in health. It is believed that lying is justified in accordance with the principle “the end justifies the means.” So, can lying for a good cause be justified?

Someone said that untruth can become universal, but it will never be holy. By at least, this statement is fair in relation to parents who tell lies to their children as if “for good purposes.” Remember how often children are frightened with various horror stories in order to facilitate the upbringing process. Children are often promised a gift to win their favor, but when it comes to fulfilling the promise, parents deliberately “forget” about all the promises. Who hasn't told their children that they are busy and can't play with them, but instead spent time in telephone communication or "hanging" on the Internet? Such a “holy lie” is not at all holy. This is a rude and selfish manipulation of a child’s will, setting a bad example. The danger with this approach is that children quickly figure out this approach and instantly internalize it. You should not be surprised if a child deceives you based on his own “good” goals.

Joke and lies - where are the boundaries?

You can often observe the following: a person is misled by telling distorted information (such as: “your back is in pain”), and then, when the person reacts to this statement, everyone laughs in unison, believing that the joke was a success. Where is the line between a joke and a lie? Is there a danger in this practice in relationships with children?

Every joke implies the presence of at least two things:

• a sense of humor between the joker and the “victim”, which would allow one to correctly understand the joke;
• kind friendly relations between the parties giving grounds for such actions.

Adults who have repeatedly experienced practical jokes from friends in their lives have a certain “immunity” and tolerate jokes normally (unless they are really stupid jokes). Children, unlike adults, do not have this. They will take every message at face value. Therefore, in the presence of children, you need to skillfully use these relationship-building tools (jokes, pranks, etc.) so as not to instill doubt in your child’s mind about your honesty.

Honesty is an active position

What does it mean to be honest? Does this mean just not telling lies? No, not only. Just as being kind is not just about not doing evil things, being honest is not just about not lying. Honesty is a person’s life position, his attitude and perception of reality. Honesty is a set of principles that shape a person’s moral character.

The problem is that we often try to fit into a box. generally accepted norms honesty without being internally honest people. This means that we can present high requirements only to actions and deeds, but not to care about the atmosphere in the family. In other words, we will pretend to be honest people, while internally we are always ready to lie. This condition can be easily checked in crisis situations when a man's principles are put to the test. For example, if I consider myself an honest person, am I ready under any circumstances not to give a bribe to a traffic police inspector? If I am not ready to defend my positions or am ready to certain limits, then this is the extent of my position in life. The Bible has a wonderful statement about this: “He who is honest thinks what is right, and stands firm in everything that is honorable” (Isaiah 32). Let us note here two stages of the active position: thinking and standing. Apparently, the second without the first is not possible.

In order for children not to learn to lie to us, we need to have an atmosphere of honesty in the family. They need to understand that lying is a phenomenon organically alien to your family. That you not only struggle with actions, but the image and your way of thinking does not allow dishonesty. If there is no relationship of openness, trust, truthfulness between spouses, it is useless to force and punish children. They unconsciously strive to be like their parents.

Practical steps to raising an honest child

So, it is necessary to direct your efforts not at overcoming the vice, but at preventing its occurrence. Here are some tips on what you need to do to instill honesty in your child.

• Never, under any circumstances, deceive a child. Even if it seems to you that it is so necessary in this situation.
• Openly express your position in relation to untruths.
• Do not create an atmosphere of a police state in the family: for the slightest offense there is punishment. Observations show that it is in such an environment that children lie much more often than in families where trust and love come first.
• Promote honesty. Let children read books, watch cartoons, listen to audio stories in which the truth always wins. Before you turn it on new cartoon, “scroll through” it and try to understand: what does he preach? What values ​​will this video material contribute to? Remember that books, audio, and video products are tools for personality formation.
• Talk to your children about honesty. Don't shy away from answering their questions. Don’t think that everything will happen by itself: education is an active process.
• Don't deceive your spouse. By doing this, you will give your children a basis for emulating you as parents.

Vladimir Vorozhtsov

I found a video game in my 12 year old son's closet; I know that she does not belong to him. I'm sure he stole it from the store. He has everything he wants. Why would he steal? I don’t want to think that he has the makings of a kleptomaniac*. What should I do?
-Karen, mother of two, Louisville, Kentucky

"Come on, put this in your backpack. No one can see."
"I could never pay for this."
"Let's take it all. It'll be so cool!"

* Kleptomania- a pathological, impulsive desire to steal with an irresistible need to satisfy it. - Note ed.

Briefly about the main thing.
Parents' reactions to their children's stealing can be either destructive or productive, where they help their children figure out what is right and what is wrong. Best reaction- one that not only helps your child understand your expectations for honesty, but also why it is so important.

One situation that is guaranteed to shock even the calmest of parents is when a child is discovered to have stolen something. Rest assured that theft is much more common than one might imagine, especially among younger children with undeveloped ideas about property. Children typically begin to understand the harmful effects of stealing between the ages of five and seven. Once they realize that stealing violates someone's rights and can lead to serious legal action against them, they look at it more seriously. One thing is certain: children of any age must understand that taking anything without permission is not allowed, it can have serious consequences.

Four steps to stop theft

There are four basic parenting rules that can help stop theft, whether your children are young or older. These four steps will help you achieve lasting behavior change.

Step 1: Approach the situation calmly and assess the child's intentions

Step 1 is to try to find answers to five fundamental questions: What happened? Where And When this happened? With whom was your child? Why he stole? Unfortunately, the direct question "Why did you do that?" leads to nowhere. The best place to start is with your reaction, explaining what you think happened and how you feel about it. For example: “Tim, I was upset when I found a video game in your closet, because it’s not yours. How did it get there?” If there is no answer, you can ask directly: “Did you take it?”
It's important to remember the two "don'ts" in parental behavior. Firstly, Don't overreact. Of course, you will be angry and upset, but try to stay calm. Secondly, don't blame child in theft and do not call him a thief. Blaming will never solve the problem, and the child may begin to lie to avoid punishment or disapproval. Instead, acknowledge the problem and work through it together.

Step 2: Explain why stealing is wrong

Express to your child your views on honesty. Right now, try to make your child understand why stealing is wrong and why it undermines the moral foundations of your family. Be concise and stick to the theme of the harm of theft: “Taking without permission what does not belong to you is very bad. We never take other people's things. We need to trust each other. I hope that you will respect the property of others and always ask permission before you borrow anything." Remember that children often have difficulty understanding the difference between “borrowing” and “taking,” so you will need to teach your child the idea of ​​ownership and respect for it.
If your child is older, you can discuss with him possible consequences thefts such as loss of friends, bad reputation, loss of people's trust and problems with the law. Remind him that some stores have a "zero tolerance" policy. In such stores they do not forgive the first violation if you return the stolen item, but immediately call the police. Remember that talking about honesty alone is not enough to create lasting behavior change. Talk to your child about honesty often over the course of several weeks so that he not only understands what you want from him, but also makes virtue part of his habitual behavior.

Step 3: Take notes and reflect on the situation.

Children often don't think about the harmful consequences of stealing. Try to put your child in the place of his victim and let him feel how offensive it is when your things are stolen. If the child is small, role-play the situation with his favorite toy. After allegedly stealing his toy, ask: “How would you feel if your toy was stolen? Would it be fair?” An older child can be asked: “Imagine that you are a victim of theft - you find that all the money has been stolen from your wallet. How will you feel? What would you say to the person who stole?”

Step 4. Demand justice

And the last step is to make sure that the child really understands Why stealing is bad and what needs to be done to improve the situation. The best punishment is to demand that the child apologize to the victim and return the stolen item. (It is better if you accompany the child.) If the theft occurred in a store, talk to the store owner first so that a friendly seller will forgive the child for what he has done. If the item is damaged or cannot be returned, the child must pay its cost. You will probably have to give your money, but the child should pay it back over time from his pocket money or through additional daily responsibilities. REMEMBER: Before you take your child to a store, find out whether the store typically requires police intervention. And then decide what is best to do.

Phase plan

If you want your children to be honest, model honesty in your behavior so they know what you expect of them. Start by assessing examples of honesty in everyday life. For example, did you take candy or fruit from the grocery store without paying, or a small “souvenir” from a restaurant or hotel (an ashtray, soap dish, etc.) that you weren’t supposed to take, or office supplies from work home? If yes, then think about what an example this could be for a child. Promise yourself to improve.
Now is the time to take action to change your child's behavior. Use the Progressive Diary to change your child's problematic behavior to record your thoughts and create a plan for Change.
1. Refer to step 1 because the most important element changing a child's behavior is to identify factors that encourage theft. To better understand this, talk to adults who know your child well and whose opinions you trust. Although children often steal to see if they can get away with it, this behavior may indicate a deeper unmet need. Of course, there are many factors to consider here, here are some examples.
Have there been changes in the family, such as divorce, new baby, new job etc., because of which the child lacks attention?
Does the child show impulsiveness and demand fulfillment of desires immediately?
Maybe he is indifferent and therefore does not realize the offense he inflicts on the victim?
Perhaps the child has not learned concepts such as honesty, ownership, and the need to ask permission?
Maybe your family has lax rules regarding property?
Maybe he is under peer pressure and needs to be accepted in this group?
Maybe the child is angry or envious and thus trying to take revenge on someone?
2. Once you understand why your child is stealing, ask yourself how to get rid of this problem. For example, if you think your child is stealing to gain acceptance from his peers, help him find friends who can help him build character and teach him to stand up to his peers. Write down what you are going to do to solve the problem and commit to following it with your child.
3. Reread step 2 and think about how you can help your child learn to respect the property of others. For example, will you create situations that help teach the concept of ownership, or read stories and fairy tales about honesty, or use appropriate educational moments for this on a daily basis? Don't be fooled into thinking that your child has already learned the rules of honesty. This virtue must be taught constantly and repeated often.
4. Think about what you should do to make your child understand the consequences of stealing. Steps 3 and 4 will help you develop a plan for change. The most important task- ensure that the child understands not only that stealing is bad, but also that in the end he will be responsible for his actions.
5. If stealing becomes a recurring behavior, consider consulting a professional. This behavior must be stopped immediately.

Commitment to Change problem child behavior

How will you use the four steps and problem behavior change plan to help your child? Write down what you will do over the next 24 hours to begin the process of gradually changing your child's problem behavior.

Results of incremental change problem child behavior

Correcting behavior is hard, painstaking work that must be carried out consistently and be based on consolidating the results through parental encouragement. Your child's progress toward change may be slow, but be sure to celebrate and reward every step along the way. It will take at least 21 days for the first results to appear, so don’t rush to give up. Remember that if one approach doesn't work, another will. Record your child's behavioral progress weekly using the template below. Record your progress in your child's step-by-step change journal every day.
1 Week