How to raise self-confidence in a child? What to do if the child is not self-confident: how to raise a boy and a girl with self-confidence. How else can you instill confidence in your child?

Small man like a bank account: what you put in is what you take out.

What do you think about the child's self-confidence? The ability to take care of yourself? Or to open the door to the director's office with his foot? Self-confidence is courage in your feelings, thoughts and actions.

In most cases, an insecure child is the fault of the parents. Yes, it's so tough. Since childhood, he has been criticized, manipulated, ignored. And phrases like: “You promised” are also manipulation!

Then the child pulls these patterns into adulthood. In relations between a man and a woman, and even with work.

When does it start?

3. Learn to interact with people. Yes, just take it and tell me how to communicate in different situations with peers, strangers, adults.

4. Praise for achievements more than scolding for mistakes. 60/40 is better so as not to overdo it. Many parents are accustomed to taking the success of their children for granted. And of course, without them, the children would not have coped.

5. Speak more often that you love and always come to the rescue. I'm not talking about hyper-custody, but rather. There must be balance in love too.

Signs of a confident child

To analyze the confidence scale, monitor social behavior outside the home. Watch the offspring from the side. You will notice that:

• he knows how to say “no” to others;
• easily defends his opinion without "psychos";
• communicates with new people without problems;
• takes on a new job with enthusiasm.

Bingo! The kid grows up confident in his abilities.

For approval - to adults

It is important for children that mom and dad appreciate - “This is cool. And this is where we need to improve.” This is one of the basic needs of a child. If in response children receive neglect, ridicule or - they lose confidence.

A child is like an apple tree. If you do not spud it, then it will grow wild. She also has sweet apples, but you still can’t make jam from them.

Notice the similarity?

Be sincerely interested in affairs or daughters, let them speak out and learn to speak with children. Otherwise, in adult life they will have to attend not developmental training, but a psychiatrist.

By the way, aggressiveness is also uncertainty.

If a child has beaten the router for bad Wi-Fi, in this way he throws out the accumulated stressful

If he is indecisive

Cheer up. Small, in your opinion, problems for a child are a whole universe.

Ask. Let him make his own decisions. Start with “What would you like…?”.

Don't draw attention on his insecurity or shyness. Especially the phrases "He is so shy with us ...".

Parents' ridicule is taken literally and translated into complexes.

If uncertainty and shyness are in progress, take your child to a theater group. Puppet theater is ideal for starters.

By the way, many movie stars admitted that this is how they defeated shyness and became self-confident.

Let the child play with younger children. So he pumps the skills of responsibility and growing up. Sometimes you need to catch "among the sheep I'm done well."

Without self-affirmation

Accordingly, they set and achieve goals of any level. (By the way, this also applies to adults).

Both parents as individuals to pass on to the child right attitude to success and failure, to criticism, to the environment. And say more often that you love.

Ksenia Litvin,
psychologist Growth phase.

And they differ by no means in external, but precisely in their internal content, their thinking, high self-esteem confidence in yourself and your abilities.

This self confidence (or rather, self-confidence) is manifested literally in everything - how a person looks, what clothes he prefers to wear, how he moves and gesticulates, what and how he says, with whom he communicates most often ...

Let's take examples comparable the demeanor of a self-confident person and the demeanor of a self-doubting person.

Self-confident a person acts as he sees fit, regardless of what others think about it.
Doubting a person often follows the lead of others, it is easier for him to live this way.

The one who sure ready to take risks and take responsibility and additional responsibilities.
The one who always doubts(first of all, in himself), he is in no hurry to do this, being afraid to leave his comfort zone and being afraid to make even a minor mistake.

Confident in himself, a person openly admits his mistakes and continues to move forward, and craven tries his best to hide them.

Confident a person is always ready to express gratitude to another person, to praise him for his achievements, doubting expects praise from other people and seeks to put on display their dignity.

think compare Which of the following qualities do you and the people around you possess?

As we now understand low self-esteem It has a detrimental effect on people, forcing them to occupy secondary roles in life and depend on the will of chance.
Self-confident people are more optimistic, they are 100 percent confident in their abilities and therefore take the best out of life.

Like any other skill, confidence can be nurtured (cultivated) in yourself.
Of course, this is not done in a day or two. And yet, by constantly training this quality, you will soon see dramatic changes in your life.

Warning on the shore, don't wait quick results, tune in to some serious inner work. In any case, you should fight for this quality in yourself!

Let's start simple

A few tricks to help you adjust your self-esteem and self-confidence level:

1) Write to separate sheet all your papers strengths : abilities and talents, successes, results and achievements in all spheres of life, your hobbies and passions.
Decorate this beautifully commendation» to yourself and hang it in a conspicuous place. After all, you have a lot to be proud of!

2) Stop any of your negative thoughts about yourself, don't let them undermine your self-confidence. Think of yourself as winner .
This technique is used by professional athletes who constantly visualize their success.

3) Grow and acquire new knowledge and skills that you need to move forward. Find good training courses, do not be content with mediocre superficial knowledge

By doing these simple exercises, you will notice how your self-confidence grows literally before your eyes, because it is entirely based on your real virtues and achievements.

And remember that a person who sets a goal for himself may or may not achieve it. A person who does not set a goal will never achieve it.

The choice is yours!

Parental love, affection, praise, support are the basis for the formation of a self-sufficient and, most importantly, self-confident personality. Self-confidence, the ability to deal with failures originate in early childhood and are directly related to the behavior of our mom and dad.

What can you do to make your child grow up confident? Read.

Do not worry

Children learn the world through experience, tactile sensations, sense organs. Unnecessary warnings - "carefully", "dangerously", "do not take", "do not eat", "step aside" - lay in the mind of the child a sense of his inferiority, incompetence. Of course, in this case we are not talking about trying to turn boiling water over, but, say, climbing a high ladder is quite possible with parental help.

The child absorbs our anxiety like a sponge, in addition, from a psychological point of view, constant prohibitions at a deep level are perceived by the child as "Don't be, don't live!" As a result, a frightened adult grows up with the attitude: "I'd rather not do anything, no matter how bad something happens."

Don't Compare

If you think that reproaches in the spirit of "Vanya already counts well" will help your first grader study better, then you are mistaken. His logical chain, most likely, will be as follows: "Vanya thinks well, so I'm bad, stupid." After such comparisons, trust between the child and the adult is lost. By comparing him with others, you make it clear that you like those children much more. Constant comparisons form in children the fear of "not being good enough", which remains with them forever. All his life he will try to be "not worse", and there will always be someone more successful and talented. Truly confident people don't look back at other people's accomplishments.

Believe in him

Often parents do not have the patience to give the child the opportunity to cope with a difficult task for him. If the parents' expectations are positive, if they allow the kid to be independent, to try new things, then he receives a message: "they believe in me, I can, I will succeed." If his aspirations are deliberately doomed to failure, they try to do everything for him, the child reads: "They don't believe in me, they don't trust me, I can't." It’s better to say: “You almost did it, let me help you a little” or “In next time you can definitely do it!" than to pull it out of the hands of the baby and do everything yourself.

Don't criticize

You can judge the actions of the child, but not him. Compare: "You broke my vase. You see what happens when you run around without looking around ..." or "You are clumsy, you always have only problems!" In the latter case, the baby has a reason to blame himself: "I'm bad!" It is optimal to try to glue a damaged vase together, because the habit of correcting your mistakes in the future will help much more than the ability to self-abasement.

Recognize

Try replacing the phrase "incomprehensible scribbles" with "it turned out interesting", instead of "it's not clear what", say "unusual creation". It is better to start any lesson by supporting the child: what you are doing is good. When he finishes creating, offer to hang the drawing on the wall in his room. As psychologists say, it is important for a child to be recognized and recognized - in what he wants to show, to tell his parents. An underestimated child is likely to withdraw into himself and grow up with the belief "What I do is not significant, not necessary, no one likes me."

Don't make fun

A breathtaking story about how the son said something stupid will give you five minutes of attention from others. And for six months it will make the child feel shy, turning to you: "What if I make a mistake again and look funny?" There is an opinion that a strong person is able to laugh at himself along with others. Until the child becomes strong man many years will pass. Therefore, do not laugh at the child, do not betray, because you are his protection, support and support. The sensations that a person experiences when he is ridiculed in public, psychologists call frustration. In other words, this is a situation of threat, accompanied by disappointment, anxiety, irritation and despair for the child.

Don't demand

If a child does not live up to your expectations and requirements, his self-esteem is rapidly falling. Self-esteem will be hurt and he will decide: "Something is definitely not working for me, therefore, it is not worth trying." As a result, even with good data, a child can forever forget about his hobbies. Ask him to do a little Moreover what he has already done. Afraid to meet new people - come together, but do not demand the impossible! Let him feel the taste of the first success - the child will become bolder and eventually decide on a more serious step.

Don't do it instead of a child

If you do for your child everything that is hard for him, then he will never learn to find a way out of difficult situations on one's own. Therefore, try not to interfere in the life of your child, trying to make it as easy as possible. Give your child small tasks regularly: let him daily in certain time feeds the animals. It will be enough to remind you of your agreement. And be sure to tell your guests that you have a little helper growing up - without him, the animals would be hungry. Then he will definitely learn to take responsibility, and where there is responsibility, there is confidence.

Appreciate achievements

Parents usually perceive small achievements of the child as something natural, normal. Did the child draw a circle? It's high time, otherwise it's just doodles. Rejoice in the success of the child, regardless of whether he was able to score a decisive goal against the opponent during a game of football or just tried. Children should never feel embarrassed about trying something. Only then, as adults, will they not be afraid to try new things.

Parents often do not notice or even belittle the merits of the child, and faults, even the smallest ones, are never left without attention. At the same time, you should not use the common "well done", "clever girl" too often, it is better to mark specific actions.

give thanks

Sometimes parents think good behavior, the help of the child, his attempts to diligently take something for granted, while - if you transfer the same situations to an adult, everything looks in a completely different light. For example, you will surely thank your husband or girlfriend for a great time, going to the cinema or a restaurant. It is also important to thank your child! Thank him for everything: for a fun day, for a joint walk in the park, for drawing dad, for real help or for any attempt to provide it, even if this help has brought you more trouble than good.

Expressing your gratitude to the child, you put him on the same level with adults, allowing him to feel needed, significant, important for you.

Using these 10 tips, you can grow an independent, self-sufficient and self-confident person.

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Many researchers claim that the main task parents in raising a child is to grow a self-confident person. We will reveal to moms and dads 9 secrets that will help grow a self-confident, successful and happy person.

Of course, young children need in large numbers encouragement and praise, whether they are learning to crawl, throw a ball, or draw. But children also get used to it very quickly: then praise becomes something ordinary and everyday for them. Another nuance is that kids feel very strongly when parents exaggerate ("This is the tallest tower of cubes that I have ever seen!"). Because of this, the baby may begin to ignore the compliments of the parents.

Do not praise the child when he does what he should do. If a child is brushing their teeth or throwing their shirt into the laundry basket, for example, a simple "thank you" is sufficient. Try giving your child a specific recommendation: instead of praising your child's drawing, you can point out how well he used a particular color.

2. Don't feel sorry for your child

When a child is hurt or depressed, it is natural if you support him. But in the case when the child is upset because he was not invited to a birthday party or when the football coach considered it necessary not to let him out on the field, considering him not ready, you should not make any indulgences and show a pity.

Kids need to know it's okay to fail. Also are normal sensations sadness, anxiety or anger, psychologists say. In this way, kids learn to succeed, to overcome obstacles without being able to avoid them.

This is especially important for young children: they should be able to play and take risks without feeling that their parents will criticize or correct them for doing something wrong. Psychologists also advise parents to make small mistakes in certain actions. Seeing that even adults make mistakes, kids feel much more confident.

3. Let your child make decisions

When a child has the opportunity to make a choice from the very early age, he will be more self - confident . Sure, kids love it when they make decisions for them, but having too much control can be overwhelming. Offer your child several options to choose from, for example, do not ask your three year old what he wants for dinner. It is better to offer him a choice of several options for dishes so that he himself can determine what he will eat.

At the same time, you need to try to convey to the child that top choice yet behind you. For example, if a daughter prefers trousers in clothes, and she likes to cut her hair like a boy, then this is her choice. But to refuse courses foreign language she has no right - here the decision is made by the parents.

4. Cultivate Optimism and Purposefulness

If your child is feeling overwhelmed by disappointments, help them become more optimistic. But instead of looking for the bright side in defeat, it's better consider concrete solutions to improve the situation. If your student is lagging behind in reading technique, explain to him that everyone develops at his own pace, and offer to spend some free time to improve their reading skills. If the child is depressed because he didn't get the lead in the play, don't say, "You shouldn't be doing that. I think you're a star!" Instead, say, "I can see how frustrated you are. Let's come up with a plan together on how you can increase your chances of getting the right role next time."

5. Encourage your child's hobbies

Give your child the opportunity to engage in a wide range of activities: this way he will have the opportunity to choose what he likes best. Reward your child when he finds something he really likes. Children who have hobbies - be it dinosaurs or cooking - take great pride in their experience and are more likely to be successful in other areas of their lives as well.

Unusual hobbies can be especially beneficial for children who have difficulty adjusting. in a collective. And the task of parents is to take advantage of this and bring their child to bring him closer to his peers. For example, if your son loves to draw, but most of the boys in his class love sports, then he might be advised to draw sports drawings, then make an art book out of them and show them to the class.

6. Assist in solving problems that have arisen

Psychologists say that even small children are able to negotiate if they want to get something. Encourage this quality in your child. There are studies that prove that even four-year-olds can solve their problems on their own.

For example, a child comes to his parents and complains that one of the children took away his toy on the playground. Instead of running and taking the toy away, invite the baby to come up with a way to get it back. If the child offers to take away, then ask him what can happen if he does so. Then ask, "Can you think of a few other ways to get the toy back?" Children in such cases give out a lot of ideas, while some of them are quite mature. The child can even answer: "It's much more boring to play alone than together."

7. Teach your child to help others

Children feel important when they help others., whether it be help in dressing the little ones in elementary school or giving gifts to children from orphanages. Psychologists say that this feeling is very important for children. It is also necessary that the child has his own share of feasible household chores. The child must see for himself that the solution of adult problems requires some effort.

Education is very closely related to the future character of the child. By instilling certain basics of knowledge, skills and morality in a baby, we thereby cultivate certain principles in him and instill norms. Any parent wants their child to become strong, successful, independent and wealthy man, however, when with age we understand that an already grown child is very far from the above epithets, we begin to realize that we made irreparable mistakes in raising a baby. Self-esteem and self-confidence are perhaps the main qualities that can contribute to successful communication child with the team, educators and teachers. It is on them that success in school, at work, and also in personal life depends. Surely, you do not want your child to be shy to express his opinion in the future, afraid to reach out in class or avoid the attention of the opposite sex? In this case, it's time to think about how to raise a self-confident child and strengthen his self-esteem.

The main enemies of the formation of confidence and self-esteem in a child are, oddly enough, the words and behavior of parents. Do you expect too much from the baby and do not forget to reproach him for this? Be sure that in the future the child will consider himself a failure, because once, in early childhood, in some trifles, he did not live up to your expectations. Starting a program to destroy self-esteem is very easy, but restoring self-confidence is much more difficult.

The same goes for being overly demanding. It is, of course, good to instill in a child a love of order, rules of etiquette and primary knowledge, but in moderation. Do not deprive your kids of childhood, there will still be plenty of teachers in their lives who will teach all the tricks that you, parents, have missed. The child should grow up in love, and not in constant orders “Do it! Learn! Get out!" Children accustomed to unquestioningly obey their parents from the very early childhood, are unlikely to be able to break out of the status of a slave into the status of a leader, and therefore there is no need to talk about self-confidence in such children.

How to raise a confident child and strengthen his self-esteem? Did you know that a baby's self-esteem is formed from the cradle? Namely, from the very moment when mom or dad, on the first cry, fly up to the crib in the hope of finding out what the child wants. AT infancy it is absolutely impossible to ignore the call of the baby, he must feel cared for and receive necessary attention immediately. And only with age, by the age of 2, the child should be gradually weaned from this, cultivating independence in him, according to the principle: “Did you need something? Come on. Ask. Show"

If you want to raise a confident child and strengthen his self-esteem, reconsider your own behavior and attitude towards the baby.

Don't worry about the little things

A child is a smaller copy of the parents. If you show a fear of failure, judgment or problems in front of your child, then rest assured that he will grow up exactly the same. It is never too late to work on yourself, but if you set out to raise a self-confident child and strengthen his self-esteem, but at the same time you do not have enough time to understand yourself, just experience your phobias separately from the baby so that he does not see and absorb it your behavior pattern.

Avoid comparisons

There is nothing worse than parents degrading their children by comparing them with other children. If you allow such behavior, your baby begins to experience jealousy and remorse, doubts about his own uniqueness arise in him and, as a result, various complexes develop, including a lack of self-confidence. Be vigilant and reasonable, even if you think that your child is somehow worse than the rest, just keep silent and help him become better.

Use less "not"

Avoid negative statements when evaluating a child's efforts. Did he clean the room badly? Do not rush to scold him, just point out the shortcomings in a calm tone and add: “Come on, baby, come on, I’m sure you will succeed.” The same goes for creativity and learning. Try to help the child, and not criticize him, otherwise you will discourage any desire to develop in any direction.

To raise a self-confident child and strengthen his self-esteem, you must not forget about praise and fix your attention on the mistakes of the baby. Constant Reminder about failures can make your child a perfectionist who will do his job in the future not for the sake of the result, but for the sake of praise. And in the end, not having received it, he will be very upset, because of which the level of self-esteem will only fall.

Catch the difference between the phrases "you are bad" and "you made a bad choice"

Shame is something that not only children, but also adults face. It's a shame to say, it's a shame to do, it's a shame to act like this because someone in the future will give the action a negative assessment - such reasoning is a lever to a drop in self-confidence. Never talk about the fact that the child is bad, stupid, harmful or something like that. He will begin to absorb these epithets and try to match them. Try to use the following phrases: “you did a bad thing”, “you thought wrong or did the task wrong”, “you behave badly”. Bad behavior can be corrected, and the baby will soon understand, and bad child- it's like a brand.

So, in order to raise a self-confident child and strengthen his self-esteem, it is necessary not only to give love to the baby, but also to carefully select phrases in communication with him, not succumbing to expression. Pay attention to the baby more often, be interested in his successes, praise him, but, meanwhile, do not interfere in the affairs with which he copes without you - this is the key to the right parenting and a guarantee that the baby will be successful in the future.

How to raise a confident child and strengthen his self-esteem: video