Psychological characteristics of relationships between boys and girls at primary school age. Class hour “Problems of relationships between boys and girls

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RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS IN JUNIOR CLASSES.

Before entering school, a child's need for personal affection determined his social circle. If this need continues to persistently prevail, the emerging team may reject such a child either due to the fact that school remains alien to him due to too much strong attachment to the family, or in connection with his desire to achieve the personal favor of the teacher. In children, this rejection, which objectively reflects the dynamics of the formation of relationships in a team, in extreme cases can take the form of bullying.

Usually it occurs in those children for whom mild signs of rejection are not enough to correct their behavior, and most often in boys. This behavior does not coincide with ideas about masculinity. And when adults say: “What kind of man are you?”, boys despise, and girls either join them in this, or accept the “despised” person into their company and even protect him from other boys. None of these spontaneous paths contributes to the formation normal behavior. Only very thin and delicate help adults can lead girls to respect such a boy as a boy, and through this - to a change in the attitude of the male part of the team towards him.

A preschooler is usually assessed on one attribute that provides him with a permanent place in a certain group: strong, smart, sings, draws, etc. It’s completely different for a schoolchild: he can be first in mathematics and last in physical education, and having advanced in physical education, he can be last in reading. “He constantly moves from one group to another, from one place in the group to another - he recognizes himself as the focus of many different possibilities.”

Previously, the child had a relatively narrow circle of friends, mostly peers, etc. as a rule, quite well known to parents. Now he increasingly finds himself among children of different ages, cultural level and behavior.

Having felt himself a member of a motley group of courtyards, a recent preschooler, establishing himself in the eyes of the group, will consider it his duty to act in accordance with the aspirations of the more active and knowledgeable ringleaders, which may not always be clear to him. Such a group can raid girls quietly playing, accompanying this “feat” with offensive and obscene remarks. Participants in such an action, as a rule, are not aware of its motive, much less the meaning of the words hurled at the girls. Repeated repetition of such actions can help reinforce a pattern of behavior where a girl or a woman is offended casually, without the desire to offend, out of a desire for “male superiority.”

A younger student already has some idea of ​​help and sympathy. But it is concrete and based not on an understanding of the objective meaning of actions, but on the child’s positive emotional dependence on the approval of an adult. Collective relations, as was said, are just being formed. The student does not yet understand the position of the other, cannot imagine himself in his place. Moral behavior, expressed in sympathy and help, lags behind formal knowledge of “what is good,” and negative behavior ahead of the possibility of judging “what is bad.”

In the elementary grades, conditions arise that encourage and accelerate the process of developing self-esteem: the child determines his place among others and makes attempts to imagine his future on this basis. It is impossible to deny the role of temperament and character in the formation of self-esteem and level of aspirations, but it is necessary to emphasize the leading role of social and environmental factors in in this case- schools.

Already in grades 1-2, low-performing and excellent students may develop inflated self-esteem. A.I. Lipkina (1976) states that an obstacle to proper development The personality of children with high self-esteem is their lack of self-criticism, and for the normal development of the personality of children with low self-esteem - reduced self-criticism. From the examples given by the author, it is clear how self-esteem affects the level of aspirations in the future and how it differs between boys and girls.

In girls' ideas about the future, the motives of family, emotional attachment, and the desire to be beautiful and loved are clearly heard. The life plans of the fingers are more aimed at self-development and self-realization.

V. A. Krutetsky (1976) believes that the psyche of a primary school student is characterized by “contemplative curiosity.” He emphasizes the insufficient differentiation of perception, its connection with action and the predominant development of involuntary attention.

Hence the significant need for clarity, the desire to touch and pick up everything of interest. This desire is enhanced by the expressed emotionality of children. “Many contradictions of this age are associated with the fact that the junior schoolchild, who is at the “pre-moral” stage of the dominance of subjectivity in behavior,” begins to enter the phase of objective interests and determining his place in the team, developing positions in relation to responsibilities.

In the lower grades, the foundations of moral behavior and consciousness continue to be laid. The noted features of emotionality favor the enrichment of experiences, and on the threshold of adolescence, children already have a certain moral potential, which will largely determine the course of the puberty period. Underdevelopment will and impulsiveness of behavior, curiosity, gullibility, imitation - these are the main things that the teacher relies on and that, while contributing to the educational process, can also carry with it a certain danger. The younger schoolchild, usually not being able to clearly identify an element to imitate, imitates everything. The girl copies her older friend or the heroine of the film, not only trying to reproduce the main thing she liked, but also adopting an attitude towards appearance, towards opposite sex- she can get a manicure, surprise her parents with a sudden change in her hairstyle, or start sighing over a portrait of a film actor.

A boy can not only increase his strength, striving to be like his hero, but also adopt from him traits of vulgarity and rudeness, not a virtuous interest in women. In these cases, adults face a difficult task: to identify the primary stimulus for imitation and, without offending it in the eyes of the child, to cleanse it of everything superficial, accidental, and unwanted.

It is useful not only to explain that this or that trait is bad, but also to show how and how it interferes with its owner. However, only by explaining and demanding, without demonstrating by example own attitude and behavior, adults encourage children to comply moral standards and rules in direct dependence on the situation, the mood of adults, develop an idea of ​​​​the formality of morality and morality - morality for school, morality for home, morality for a company of peers, morality for oneself, etc. The child takes the first lessons of hypocrisy, double morality from adults , who by no means set themselves the task of teaching these lessons, but believe that a child should be raised by appealing only to his consciousness and reason.

The active, effective demands of adults and the group of peers introduces children into the circle of social responsibilities. Contrary to the opinion of some parents, healthy children usually not only do not get tired of responsibilities, but also actively seek them out. Not finding them at school and at home, the child will look for and find them in other places, and, perhaps, in completely unacceptable, ugly forms. The street is strong with its rich arsenal of means of influence, addressed not only to the mind, but above all to feelings and experiences.

In junior school age a number of new psychological qualities are emerging. “Already by the 3rd grade, in the course of targeted educational influences, arbitrariness is formed as a special quality mental processes, and in connection with it, a sense of duty” [Davydov V.V., 1973; Levitov N.D., 1969]. For some it is stable and manifests itself in a wide range life relationships, in others only in individual actions or in a relatively narrow area of ​​behavior, in others it is still poorly developed, some may be obedient, but only as required.

The ability to plan actions silently, internally develops. The ability to evaluate one’s actions as if from the outside begins to take shape. This skill underlies reflection-quality, which allows you to intelligently and objectively analyze your thoughts and actions from the angle of their compliance with the plan and conditions of activity [Davydov V.V., 1973].

For a long time it was believed that primary school age was sexually neutral. In psychoanalysis it was considered as a “latent” period. In a number of valuable and informative domestic manuals one can also find a generalized, “genderless” analysis of the psychology and behavior of a primary school student. From the generally accepted fact of friendship with representatives of the same sex as an important feature of this period, it is impossible to deduce the provisions on sexual latency - it relates rather to heterosexual activity than to sexual interests, and does not mean the cessation or temporary stop of the psycho-sexual development of boys and girls.

“The stork was forgotten by us at the age of nine, we began to listen to adults at the age of ten, at the age of thirteen, let my mother forgive me, we knew everything, even though we knew nothing,” writes K. Simonov.

The age of 9-10 years is a period of sexual homogenization: imitation and attachment of boys to their father, and girls to their mother. Sometimes the transition to this stage occurs quickly and the change in the child’s attachments is especially striking. The class is divided into two camps - boys and girls, betrayal of one's camp is condemned and despised. Boys play war games, read “heroic” literature and imitate heroes, action movies, and knights. They are more drawn to their father, and when his absence men in general (teachers, heads of “men’s” circles and sections) show persistent interest in “men’s” work.

Girls in their circle discuss the first romantic heroes, fashion, housekeeping, give preference to lyrical literature, become especially close to their mother and, if their relationship with her is favorable, they confide their secrets to her, are more drawn to female teachers, and can collectively fall in love with a male teacher. For both boys and girls, this is the period of formation of self-assessment as a representative of a certain gender. Polarization of the sexes is a natural pattern of development, often externally manifested by aggressive or defensive actions that reflect internal interest in the other sex.

V.V. Bogoslovsky (1974) gives an example when a boy pulls a girl’s braid and when asked by the teacher why he did this, he answers: “I like her.” Being rather an exception to the rule in the mouth of a child, this explanation reveals true motives outwardly aggressive or defensive behavior. As a rule, it does not cause any serious conflicts, but we have repeatedly noted in girls a feeling of resentment and “being left out” in the absence of these peculiar signs of attention. Recently, it has become increasingly common to observe in girls of this age a boyishly aggressive style of behavior that previously manifested itself, and even then not always and not in everyone, only in the puberty period. Apparently, both acceleration and some shift in gender roles and ideas about masculinity and femininity in modern society and family are reflected here.

At this age, the first understanding of the difference between the sexes is formed, as well as the first information about sex education.

The lack of proper attention on the part of parents, teachers and doctors to sex education, the predominance of opinions about the asexuality of younger schoolchildren lead in a number of cases to the fact that sex education is carried out by secret “co-educators”, gender problems are discussed using obscene, slang, linguistic means that complicate subsequent correct acquaintance with them and contributing to the contamination of ideas about sexuality, its perception as a shameful, forbidden side of human life. This inevitably contrasts with the natural development of gender identification and the formation of male and female social roles, which can often lead to the emergence of conflict-neurotic tension, sometimes to neurotic maladjustment of children, a distorted view of reality.

Although at this age many of the socio-psychological characteristics of boys and girls are the same, a number of them show differences [Kolominsky Ya. L., 1971]. The gender of students does not affect their status in the class. Sociometric studies have shown that the percentage of mutual choices between boys and girls is low, while girls choose boys somewhat more often than boys choose girls. The stability of preferences, including the choice of friends, is weaker in boys, while in girls it is closely correlated with general stability. Schoolgirls who needed approval were the most popular among their peers, because it is more important for girls to be socially acceptable. Among boys, such faces are the least popular.

“At age 10, girls are less sincere and more neurotic, boys are more extroverted.” A number of differences are associated with the learning process: girls are more successful in speech development than boys, while boys are more successful in mathematical judgments. spatial operations; More often than not, boys perform tasks better alone, and girls do better in a group, and better in a group mixed by gender; girls cope better with tasks that allow for an ordinary or conventional method of solution; already in primary school, boys have a higher ability to produce creative ideas; the influence of special factors (level of education in the family, teacher help) on girls is much higher; Boys are more likely to experience behavioral and learning difficulties: volitional delay in motor reactions is greater in girls; in boys less time verbal-associative reactions.

Description of work

The psychological features of the relationship between boys and girls in the lower grades are revealed.

Irina Kashevarova
Communication between boys and girls during preschool age

"Psychological - pedagogical foundations organizations communication between preschool children" on topic: « Communication between boys and girls during preschool age».

Problem communication is multifaceted and actual problem modernity, which covers a wide range of different issues, the scientific and practical solution of which has become social necessity.

In modern Russian society the problem of human communication comes to the fore, i.e. interaction through communication, where it, in turn, plays an important role as a means of personality development. Personality formation begins at birth in the process communication child with close adults (this includes parents, brothers, sisters, and other family members). Involving children in public norms occurs in preschool age When a child masters basic social knowledge, he acquires certain values ​​that he needs in later life.

Federal State educational standard preschool education also highlights one of the educational areas - the social and communicative development of the child preschool age as a priority direction of his life. Modern child strives for self-affirmation and personalization in society, but it is very important to educate him socially - significant qualities and teach how to quickly and flexibly adapt in society, help through culture and ways communication enter social life. Before preschool education rises Problems: not just organizing social development preschoolers, but to teach children when entering society interact with other people and with each other.

Who does modern life consist of? society? Of course from different people, from different personalities. And these individuals are men and women. Men and women grow out of boys and girls. These are also individuals, only smaller in stature. And they live together in their society - in a preschool institution. How communication does it work out with each other?

1. How are they similar and how are they different? boys and girls.

Let's turn to the poets for an answer.

Being a mother of girls, of course, is not That:

There are dolls, dishes, a hospital, lotto,

There are fluffy dresses and toe-length braids.

Fate gave you guys!

Your house is not decorated with vases of roses,

And the cyborg killer that your son brought,

Having found him in a puddle near his native house,

Cleaned it, washed it and now it's like new.

No, it's not trash, and don't you dare clean it up!

Do you want to destroy a military base?

Do you want to demolish an airplane hangar?

Come to your senses, woman! This is a nightmare!

You will lead the tin soldiers into battle,

Be bold and daring, don't take a step back!

So, go in from the flank and hit with artillery.

(If you don't know what this is, ask your sons).

You will learn all car brands with them,

And all types of their tires will become larger.

They will grow up and enlighten you,

How the starter, cardan and jack work.

Without them you might not know anything

Why do you need a jigsaw? Should I kiss?

Why do we need a vice? Maybe squeeze someone?

Bearing - what is it? Something with spikes?

SO MUCH THINGS THAT COULD PASS BY!

BUT THIS IS HAPPINESS - BEING A SON'S MOTHER!

If I were a girl.

Eduard Uspensky

If I were a girl -

I wouldn't waste time!

I wouldn't jump on the street

I would wash the shirts

I would wash the kitchen floor

I would sweep the room

I would wash the cups, spoons,

I would peel the potatoes myself

All my toys myself

I would put it in its place!

Why am I not a girl?

I would help my mother so much!

Mom would have told me right away:

"You're doing well, son!"

Of course, this is a joke, in which there is only a grain of truth. How are they different from each other? girls and boys? Or maybe they are the same? After all, they are all children?

Difference between boys and girls appear very early. Already in the womb, the fetus behaves differently depending on gender - boys are usually more active. Newborn children differ not only in the structure of their genital organs. Specifics of behavior boys and girls exists from the first days of life.

Girls On average, they sleep longer. They have lower than boys, tactile thresholds and pain sensitivity. But boys better muscle development and the ability to hold the head when placed on the stomach. Determined that girls respond better to sweets and, when milk is sweetened, increase sucking activity more than boys.

After three months boys and girls react differently to surrounding: boys more susceptible to visual (visual) encouragement - they respond more actively to bright colors, to moving or new objects; girls respond better to auditory rewards, e.g.

sweet pronunciation. At 6 months girls heartbeat slows down when listening to jazz tunes, boys- when perceiving non-musical intermittent sounds.

The first differences in play behavior are detected at approximately 13 months. In that girls age spend more time with their mother, are reluctant to get away with it and return to her more often, and gravitate towards passive games. Boys more independent and active.

From three years old age, differences between boys and girls in the interests, manifestations of emotionality and behavior.

By the age of four, interests boys They are more inclined towards technology, outdoor and war games. Girls often played in small groups, their games are more related to nature and aesthetic design. Girls V to a greater extent focus on the playing partner, and boys - on the course of the game. For boys, Unlike girls, for their full mental development, more space is required than girls. If the space is small in the horizontal plane, they master vertical: climb ladders, climb onto closets.

Having encountered something new, boys questions like "From what?" or "Why?". This means that they tend to analyze and understand the phenomena of the surrounding reality. Attention girls Manipulation with specific close objects from the environment is more attractive than abstract judgment about them. Seeing something new after asking a question "What's happened?" girl evaluates an object in words "Beautiful" or "ugly".

In games preschoolers the ability for creative activity is manifested. Girls use all toys for their intended purpose, boys the same objects can find varied and sometimes the most unusual uses. The desire to understand the essence and nature of things can explain the fact that boys toys are broken more often girls. This feature of the male gender can be called a transformative activity; it cannot be ignored in education boys. Girls prone to educational and caring activities: to look after, nurse,

show care, instruct, teach. These features are clearly manifested in role playing games preschool girls, in their interest in certain toys (dolls, sets of dishes).

There are also differences in the speech of representatives of different sexes. U girls nouns and adjectives predominate. When conveying what they read in an oral presentation of an event, they are prone to details, and in oral speech - to repetition of individual episodes, which at the same time become overgrown with a mass of detailing details. Due to boys usually start talking a little later girls, interjections are frequent in their vocabulary, allowing them to fill in missing words when conveying any event or phenomenon and reflect their emotional state.

Boys are more optimistic, simpler and more frank girls. They always "more children", how girls who are already five years old "women". Girls see much more boys, they better understand what’s going on in the family, and more accurately understand people. They show secrecy and hostility towards brighter ones girls and are interested, what their girlfriends are wearing.

Boys want to seem worse what they are girls, on the contrary, strive to produce best impression, literally transforming in front of strangers. Girls very early they begin to understand how they want to be seen and what is expected of them. They are more obedient "more correct", friendlier and more polite. Violations of discipline in girls are more rare than boys, and are usually hidden. Girls are more likely to turn to adults with complaints about boys even then, when the true culprits and instigators of the violation of order are themselves.

Boys already from 3-6 years they are more aggressive than girls. Since socialization is in this age is not yet completed, the difference should be considered innate. U girls verbal aggression predominates - they call names, shout, but try to avoid direct expression of open hostility. IN last years aggressiveness has increased, How boys, so girls who, similar boys, began to resort to fights.

U girls and boys of preschool age"different brain strategy". U girls morphological maturation of the brain, especially its left hemisphere, occurs faster than in boys. That is why in the early stages of ontogenetic development girls in memorizing numbers, problem solving and verbal tasks dominate boys. After puberty, the picture changes.

Girls usually they fill up quickly after the class starts optimal level of performance, boys long"swinging". Girls perform standard, template tasks better. Boys captivates search activity, it’s better for them to explain a little, to push them to find a solution.

Psychological characteristics are not always taken into account in the organization of the educational process boys. Existing in modern education teaching strategies, forms and methods of working with children are designed to a greater extent for girls, focused on female model behavior, since they require, first of all, diligence, focused attention, discipline, and perseverance.

Boys are more active, restless, disobedient, they have conflicts more often, so they receive more disciplinary remarks, negative evaluations, and are punished more often. According to B. Hartley, lower achievements boys in school than girls, frequent violations of discipline are explained by the fact that the role « real woman» And "good student" do not contradict each other, while the role « good student» And "real man" largely do not coincide. This contradiction explains the negative attitude towards teaching boys, where, in their opinion, there is no place for the manifestation of masculine qualities.

There is a difference in the reaction of children of different sexes to assessment of their performance. For boys are very important what exactly is being assessed for girls- who evaluates them and how. Boys interested in the essence of the assessment (what moment of activity is being assessed, girls more interested in emotional communication with adults, what matters to them is the impression they made.

Girls They react very emotionally to all assessments, both positive and negative. Boys react selectively, and only to assessments that are significant to them. Boy You must definitely understand what exactly the teacher is dissatisfied with. Dissatisfaction with actions boy should be expressed in a notation that is short but meaningful in meaning. It is necessary to explain the situation accurately and concisely. As a note "you are bad" boy cannot react - he is disoriented.

For girls you can't say a word "Badly", since a violent emotional reaction will not allow them to realize what exactly is bad and what needs to be changed. Therefore, in evaluation, one should follow the principle - before scolding for the result, one must praise for the effort.

Performance evaluation should be done in different words. Word "Well done" more emotionally significant for boys. For girls other positive evaluations that have a stronger emotional component should be given, e.g. "clever girl" etc.

2. How "get along" boys and girls in one team?

Certainly girls and boys are very different. How can they "get along" in the same team with each other? Do they quarrel or are they friends? Are they happy with each other or not? What are they playing?

Children's relationships preschool age - this is the relationship between boys and girls. Interests boys and girls appear more differentiated in the game than in real life. In accordance with how

the child perceives himself boy or girl, he chooses the corresponding playing roles for himself.

Before the game, children remember who they are, boys or girls. Boys at play, imitating men, try to be a representative of the male professions: pilot, astronaut, driver, officer, etc., they try to do masculine actions.

Girls, imitating women, take on the role of mother, teacher, doctor, seller, etc. At the same time, their game plots reflect typically female actions and characters.

And during the game itself, they often forget about this and communicate simply like peers.

Most often in communication between preschoolers there is a desire to unite based on gender accessories:

Children are grouped by gender;

A community of interests emerges;

A specific feeling appears "WE": "We - boys» or "We - girls» . In accordance with this, there arises "solidarity" boys(girls, and in the resulting same-sex groups, children develop the ability to see themselves through the eyes of their comrades. Different roles girls and boys games bring children together and promote normal psycho-sexual development boys and girls.

3. Problems of forming friendships between boys and girls. The role of the teacher in solving this problem.

Forming friendships between children of different sexes is one of the most important tasks of this problem. But in modern kindergarten Basically, asexual education is carried out. Taking into account certain specifics in development is overlooked boys and girls. Specific features are not formed; it is often forgotten that today’s boy - future man , defender of the Motherland, support in the family, and girl is a caring mother, wife, homemaker. Such facts have social roots. Currently in our society has become a widespread phenomenon of masculinization of women, i.e., the predominance in her is typical masculine traits character, and as a result – a decrease in mercy and compassion; selfless help. Children generally give positive ratings to members of their own sex than to others. Girls get much more positive ratings and less negative compared to boys. An important means of forming friendships between children of different sexes is creative game, in which sexual differentiation is especially pronounced. Experimental data show that children prefer peers of the same sex as partners, especially in older age(only 7-10% of contacts with children of the opposite sex). Disunity

boys and girls in the game is mainly determined by the different directions of their gaming interests (from the girls shows interest in household toys, y boys– sports and construction). Girls often play in isolation from boys, almost without their participation on topics such as "Salon", "Shop", "Studio", "Kindergarten". The main things in these games are "female" roles occupied girls, and supporting roles rarely attract boys. Their favorite games include activities with machines, technical toys, building materials, and Topics: "Hospital", "Motor ship", "Train", "Cosmonauts", "Police". In joint yokes, the nature of children's relationships is different.

Some boys They are always friendly towards the opposite sex, give in, play as equals, and try to help. Others - may refer to girls differently, depending on the roles. 10% boys are in conflict, are often offended, which is most likely explained by their individual characteristics and level of upbringing. U girls attitude towards boys It's different in a co-op game. Some are always friendly. Others are generally friendly, but like to give orders, demand obedience, and are offended when their wishes are not fulfilled. Someone may treat differently, depending on the distribution of roles. There are girls who always conflict (nervous, grumbling, striving only for leading roles). As a result of such an analysis, we can conclude that it is girls need more appropriate educational work, in the formation of a positive, persistent attitude towards children of the opposite sex. They are more critical of boys, more demanding and less lenient. General terms and conditions fostering friendship between boys and girls are: organization joint games; special selection of games in which preschoolers practiced good relations with each other; purposeful work with parents in this direction.

It is necessary to select children's fiction that tells about friendship. First of all Russians folk tales. To literary works on realistic themes attributed: "Present"

S. Baruzdina, "Stories about Children", "Magic word" V. Oseeva, "Kitty" L. Tolstoy, "Bad Story" E. Serova, "The worst thing" E. Permyaka

(Where girls refused to play with a rude, arrogant boy) etc. It is necessary to determine the appropriate rules of behavior for children, ensure their understanding and clarification: "Offend a girl is unworthy of a man» , « A real man is never afraid to admit that he is guilty", « A girl should help boys, to care about them", “A woman is decorated with kindness and neatness”. The art of being a man and a woman is taught by proverbs, sayings, and wise folk commandments that can be used in working with children. Issues of forming friendships between children of the opposite sex require serious development. This is a problem of national importance. If it is successfully resolved, children will be brought up with feelings of mutual love, honesty and social responsibility.

4. From work experience.

There are 21 in my group girl and 9 boys. Age – 6 years, preparatory group for school. Oddly enough, but girls are girls, A boys are natural boys. Girls are divided into small groups or pairs in the game, and the boys all play together. Probably because there are few of them. Boys move a lot, or play construction games, but necessarily for the entire group. They often disturb girls by taking over space. Girls"emerge", boys are inferior.

Often boys and girls playing together, but it's definitely moving games: tag, hide and seek, imitating cartoon characters, playing pirates and even "police", or "war".

In calm s\r games, such as "School", "Shop", "Hospital", girls play alone. There are no boys there.

B) Communication in sensitive moments.

Boys give way to girls at the sink, or a place on a chair, but only after a reminder from an adult.

Boys with great desire choose a mate among girls, for example, when going for a walk, and no girls. Prefer "girlfriend".

Girls love bright scissors and aprons, and boys shy of pink objects and shiny pencils.

Boys They don’t try very hard to dance with a girl. They bow and see off girl in place, only after a reminder from an adult.

If by chance, a boy rudely touched a girl in a game, he immediately asks for forgiveness and gets scared, especially if the girl cried.

Not all boys love and know how"to be on duty" in the process of eating, but they really like to prepare the tables for productive activities. Girls they do everything more willingly and help their comrade - boy.

The boys are shy, If the girl looks after them.

In the toilet, I did not notice that the children showed interest in each other.

IN "birthdays" And boys, And girls, are happy to tell each other different wishes.

If the child was absent from the group for a long time ( For example: parental leave, all children, and boys, And girls They are very happy with each other.

In class boys they prefer to sit down together, to somehow unite. I have to do accent: « sat down: boy-girl» . They don’t get offended – they do it.

I observe that boys and girls sympathize with each other. Rare but to hear Can: "I love Zakhar"...Such "Love" was more visible in senior group than in preparatory.

Small boy, as a rule, chooses a high one in a couple girl.

No one ever called each other names "fat man" or "fat".

Girls adapt more to games boys if they play together.

The children in my group are very kind, they are probably loved by us adults and parents. There are practically no conflicts between children, and especially between boys and girls.

B) Statements boys and girls about each other. Talk "heart-to-heart" with a subgroup girls and one boy.

Educator (I): « Girls, in our group there is friendship between boys and you girls?»

Nastya (6,4) : “I think that some are friends with each other, and some

no, I’m friends with everyone.”

Sonya (6,8) : “Not everyone is friends, but I am friends with many, I have a lot of friends - boys, even whom you don’t know.”

Milena (6,5) : “And I’m not friends with our boys, because I love Antoshka, you don’t know him, he’s 10 years old.”

Educator: “What do you like to play with them?”

Nastya (6,4) : “On the street, catching up. I also love with boys just talk, especially with Zakhar.”

Educator: “Why exactly with Zakhar?”

Nastya (6,4) : “Yes, he’s small in size, that is, tall, and he’s good.”.

Sonya (6,8) : “I love playing sea battle with them.”.

Another Nastya joined the conversation (6,3) : “And I only love Dima, and I don’t want to be friends with anyone else”.

Educator: “Why only Dima?”

Nastya (6,3) : “He helps me make the bed and once gave me a flower, but not a real one.”

Maxim came up to us (6,1) .

Educator: “And you, Maxim, what do you think, are in our group boys and girls are friends?»

Maksim (6,1) : "Don't know".

Educator: “What would you care about? played with the girls?»

Maksim (6,1) : "Catch-up".

Educator: "And you girls take to the game?»

Maksim (6,1) : “No, they don’t take it. Yes, I like Nastya, he’s tall, handsome and runs fast.”

Conclusion.

Of course, in pre-revolutionary Russia, girls and boys were brought up by separate teachers, different methods, in different rooms. And there was some truth to this.

Yes, they are not at all similar to each other, and they need different teachers, games, and a developmental environment. But our modern world is too "modern". The culture is very diverse, technological progress is developing at the speed of light. Parents and teachers live with words "hurry up". Everything is in a hurry. Where should we think about gender education? Women are becoming stronger, men are becoming weaker, in every sense. Mothers more often raise their children alone. It's hard to figure out how to parent properly boys, but as girls. Everything seemed to be mixed up, mixed up.

I think that if men and women girls and boys, will not support each other in our world, we will all be lost.

Let the girls boys grow up together. And what will happen next - time will tell. But we teachers, and parents too, must not forget who is who.

Literature:

1. Bocharava Yu. Yu. – Candidate of Pedagogical Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Pedagogy and Psychology of Primary Education of KSPU named after. V. P. Astafieva, "Psychologist in kindergarten".

2. Doronova T. N. « Girls and boys 3-4 years in family and kindergarten", - M 2009

3. Sex or gender? (Girls to the left, boys to the right) // Hoop, 2009 No. 3

4. Boys and girls // Hoop, 2007 No. 5

5. Boys and girls: two halves? // Hoop, 1998 No. 6

Experience. Internet resources.

Perhaps this is an old love of yours that has awakened years later. And also important individual characteristics each of the participants relations. Everyone, I’m not afraid of this word, must cope with their cockroaches in the absence of another on their own, more on that later. ... push to bad emotions, and then to action. If you can’t stand it all, it’s better to give up such things right away. relations, if possible. If this is not possible, then go to a psychologist and resolve these issues with him, and not...

https://www.site/psychology/111715

With another, with understanding and acceptance of oneself, understanding and acceptance of another begins. The process of psychotherapy often involves addressing relations with parents or other significant adults. The study of concepts and ideas about ourselves and the world around us, shaped in the process... by the family and culture in which we grew up. Clients often recall painful experiences associated with reactions or attitude parents to them in childhood. My dad was always very demanding of me and believed that...

https://www.site/psychology/111900

Some work to overcome all obstacles. Not always and not everyone succeeds. In some cases the process relations gets stuck or is completely interrupted until the end of their last stage. In such cases, the effect of an “unharvested harvest” is obtained: efforts have been expended..., but the fruits have not been harvested. At the same time, it must be said that the work of completing the entire cycle relations It's not that it's too complicated. However, if enough knowledge about this work was not gained in childhood by example...

https://www.site/psychology/112128

Ourselves in some cultural, respectful way, we do not always receive the same coin, that is, in fact, this is a look at attitude to these concepts, conditionally, cultural, respectful dialogue, but on the other hand, that is, this is a certain idea of... lessons of the soul, to connect with higher world, with the higher “I”, understanding what is happening there and interacting, attitude on equal terms, to build a tandem that contributes to your further development. In the process of interaction with the outside world,...

https://www.site/psychology/112365

Without having a single drop of personal experience behind me. This did not deter them and they began to speculate on the topic of family relations and about the appointment of a woman. A famous fable describes what happens when a cobbler bakes pies. An undoubted “contribution” to... pornography and fornication, the Church does not at all call to disdain the body or sexual intimacy as such, for bodily relationship men and women are blessed by God in marriage, where they become the source of the continuation of the human race Avoid pregnancy...

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Put your hand on her back while waiting for an order at the bar, play with her hair - such actions will help you build the foundation of loved ones relations. Use your friends Among your mutual friends, there may be those who believe that you are with your chosen one and really... In addition, your assistant(s) will tell you how her opinion about you is changing, will tell you whether she is ready to serious relations right now or at Saturday evening she has nothing to do and wants to go for a walk with someone. To behave as...

https://www.site/journal/119811

During sexual intercourse only on a whim, a short-term resonance of libidinal energy occurs. This is purely animal level relations male and female individuals, ensuring the functional state of the body. Realization of the sexual instinct is good for health. ... experienced by partners is a criterion of bioenergetic resonance between them. This is probably also an animal type relations, a natural reaction of male and female individuals to each other. There is an unconscious selection of a couple based on...

Introduction

1. The world of emotions.

2. Relationships between boys and girls in primary school

3. Psychological characteristics relationships between boys and girls in primary school.

4. Practical part

Conclusion

List of used literature

Introduction

The purpose of my work is to study the relationships between boys and girls in primary school. In my work I used literature such as “
Relationships between children in joint activities and problems of education”,
“The World of Childhood: Junior Schoolchild” / Ed. A.G. Khripkova. and other sources. I also conducted a practical study among primary school children.

(1974) gives an example when a boy pulls a girl’s braid and, when asked by the teacher why he did it, he replies: “I like her.” Being rather an exception to the rule in the mouth of a child, this explanation reveals the true motives for outwardly aggressive or defensive behavior. As a rule, it does not cause any serious conflicts, and we have repeatedly noted in girls a feeling of resentment and neglect in the absence of these unique signs of attention. Recently, it has become increasingly common to observe in girls of this age a boyishly aggressive style of behavior that previously manifested itself, and even then not always and not in everyone, only in the puberty period. Apparently, both acceleration and a certain shift in gender roles and ideas about masculinity and femininity in modern society and family are reflected here.
The rules of conduct for schoolchildren are the same for boys and girls. The school has the same requirements for them. They have the same rights and responsibilities.
But this, of course, does not mean at all that a differentiated approach to the moral education of boys and girls is unnecessary. On the contrary, for successful moral education For younger schoolchildren, it is not enough to know the general goals and conditions of this education; it is not enough to take into account only the age characteristics of the children. It is important to imagine the characteristics of the sexual development of children at this age, to take into account some differences in the personality development of boys and girls.
Children begin to recognize gender differences early. Already at the age of 2.5-3 years, they can ask questions about the reasons for the physical differences between boys and girls. With age, interest in the physical characteristics of men and women, in the peculiarities of their relationships, in the problem of having children, grows, and it is quite natural, like many other interests.
The child’s inherent ability to imitate allows him to early choose a certain pattern of behavior. First, he imitates some external signs of behavior of the person whom he chooses as a role model, then a deeper “equation” of himself with the personality of the person of the model occurs. At the same time, the child borrows not only patterns of certain actions and external distinctive features, but also such complex personality qualities as kindness, gentleness, responsiveness or determination, masculinity, and perseverance. WITH early years Boys usually choose their father as a role model, girls - their mother.
In preschool age role-playing games children reproduce a variety of human relationships in the family, at work, in the yard, etc. The child also reproduces in play some specific relationships between adults: mother and father, man and woman, adult and child. Educators need to remember this, since these relationships between adults influence the child’s understanding of his belonging to one gender or another and his “choice” of the appropriate type of behavior.
The ideas of adults themselves (parents in the first place) about the differences in the behavior and morality of men and women one way or another penetrate into the children's environment, are reproduced and assimilated in the game.
Parents, and especially the mother, from the first days of the birth of a child, most often without realizing it, treat their son or daughter differently. In the first six months, mothers usually touch their sons much more often than their daughters, but after six months the picture changes: boys begin to be weaned off excessive affection, and girls are allowed to spend much more time near their mother. Weakening contacts with the mother strengthens the child’s independence. It is this quality, according to some scientists, that mothers intuitively strive to develop in their sons.
With age, differences in the attitude of adults towards boys and girls become increasingly greater.
Differences arise relatively early in subject environment boys and girls - they not only have different clothes, but also different toys. Adults, by their attitude, direct the activities and games of boys and girls - for example, a boy playing with dolls, as a rule, causes mocking remarks from others. Adults encourage stereotypes of behavior accepted for a given gender - for example, a boy is shamed for being tearful, and a girl is blamed for being naughty. A grimy boy with scratches and skinned knees often evokes the condescending and affectionate attitude of an adult: “What should I do? This is an inevitable evil.” A girl with the same appearance would, however, first of all cause discontent.

Already in preschool childhood the child accumulates knowledge about the typically male or typically female role, about the physical differences between men and women, about the differences in their behavior, about their relationships, about the most important personality qualities. At this time, the child develops a sense of gender and begins to exhibit characteristic forms of behavior associated with the “role” of a man or woman.
Arriving at school, the child behaves in accordance with his ideas about what a boy should be and what a girl should be. So, as a rule, girls behave timidly and insecurely; they are quieter and more reserved, efficient and demanding of themselves and others. Boys, from the first days of their stay at school, behave freely, without confusion, they are noisier, and prefer unregulated activities.
In any situation, boys usually quickly get to know each other and quickly find a common cause. They prefer collective sports or war games. It is typical that boys are not so demanding about the constancy of the group composition, and willingly accept peers from other classes, yards, and schools into their play groups. Girls outside the home, in a new situation, get lost, stay apart when there are no relatives or friends nearby. They prefer to communicate in small groups of two or three people.
Boys, as a rule, avoid girls, try not to notice them, and prefer not to include them in their boyish games. The exception is those boys who do not enjoy special respect from their peers.
They are often not accepted into boy groups.
Many girls are wary of boys. One feels not fear, but rather some distrust of the boys, an expectation of aggressiveness on their part. At the same time, girls show interest in boys and their activities. By the end of the first half of the year, schoolgirls already know all the boys in their class not only by last name, but also by first name. Boys, with some exceptions, only know some girls.
The only children in the family who have not attended kindergarten also show especially great curiosity and at the same time wariness towards representatives of the opposite sex. These boys and girls, more than other children, avoid each other when going to or from school, at recess, and in games.

The experience of joint activities among younger schoolchildren is still limited, especially outside of communication during lessons, excursions, walks, etc.
Sometimes conflicts arise between them. At the same time, girls have more complaints than boys. They complain not only about boys, but also about each other, and often about trifles. Analysis of these conflicts shows that they are not based on some kind of deliberate alienation or hostility of boys and girls towards each other. Most often, this is simply a transfer of purely boyish forms of communication into the sphere of communication with girls. Boys try to fight with them, measure their strength, etc. Girls perceive these forms of communication, which are not quite usual for most of them, not as a game, but as an attempt to offend them.
The noted behavioral features of children are more typical for the first school year than for primary school age in general. The new rhythm of a child’s life, a new type of relationship with his parents and other adults, with his recent friends in kindergarten, will purely transform
“boyish” and “girlish” forms of behavior, filling them with new and deep moral content.
It is at school that a child’s spontaneously formed everyday ideas about men and women undergo significant changes. Children purposefully form stable ideas about the principles of relationships between men and women, about the moral qualities of people: their nobility, humanity, especially in relation to the weak, their protection, male honor and dignity, masculinity - for boys, pride, bashfulness, modesty and tenderness - for girls. It is at school that the foundations are laid for children to deeply understand their personality as a man or a woman.
In grades III and IV, the need for a special approach to the education of boys and girls becomes more and more obvious. At this time, the difference in the rates of general physical (including sexual) development of boys and girls increases (it reaches a maximum in adolescence). Girls begin to realize themselves earlier and more deeply as a feminine personality. They develop a sense of adulthood earlier. The same personality changes in boys begin two to three years later.
1. WORLD OF EMOTIONS.

There are big differences in the mental appearance of a child who has crossed the threshold of school for the first time and a student standing on the border between IV and V grades.
Therefore, the characteristics of the emotional life of a junior schoolchild inevitably turn out to be somewhat general. But for all the differences between a first-grader and
"graduate" primary school the most characteristic features can be identified with sufficient clarity.
As already noted, a junior schoolchild must fulfill a number of responsible school responsibilities, which entails appropriate assessments by the teacher, the class staff, as well as certain reactions from home. And all this gives rise to certain experiences in the child: satisfaction, joy from praise, grief, dissatisfaction with oneself, experiencing one’s shortcomings in comparison with comrades, etc.

Failures in completing tasks can give rise in some children to a feeling of irritation towards others, ill will, and envy of comrades who have earned praise; may even give rise to the urge to annoy the teacher or the class. But if such failures are not long-term and the child does not shy away from the team, then they usually lead to a strong desire to take a worthy place in the classroom and at home, and cause a desire to study better in order to achieve success.
In this case, completing educational tasks becomes the basis of such experiences. like anxiety, self-doubt. joy at the emerging success, anxiety that things will get worse in the future, reassurance due to the fact that we managed to complete the task, etc.
It is the indifferent attitude towards success or failure that explains the state of excitement that a small schoolchild usually experiences during a written test or an oral examination.
Younger schoolchildren can react violently to certain phenomena that affect them. The emotional behavior of young schoolchildren when they watch the play is indicative: here the sharp transitions from sympathy for the hero to indignation against his enemies, from sadness over his failures to stormy expressions of joy at his success are so clearly visible. Mobility, numerous gestures, transitions from fear to delight, sudden changes in facial expressions indicate that a lot affects the child and leads to vivid emotional responses. This brings the younger schoolchild together with preschoolers.
But in a number of significant moments, his emotional behavior acquires new features: he begins to express his emotions more restrained - dissatisfaction, irritation, envy, when he is in a class group, since incontinence in the expression of feelings immediately causes remark.

The ability to control your feelings develops from year to year.
For example, a junior schoolchild begins to show his anger and irritation not so much in a motor form (he no longer tries to fight, does not snatch something from his hands), but rather verbally (teases, is rude). Experiences of anger and shame are more hidden, but they are still quite obvious to others.
The formation of expressive speech and facial expressions is accompanied by the development of the ability to empathize. The level of this empathy differs between first and third graders. Thus, when perceiving photographs of people with clearly expressed emotions, 7-year-old children correctly classify anger; but fear and horror are correctly classified only by children 9-10 years old. Serious mistakes and distortions are made by young schoolchildren when perceiving individual emotions of people and in films (mainly the emotions of adults).
In the first school years, a child’s moral feelings intensively develop.
- feelings of camaraderie, responsibility for the class, sympathy for the grief of others, indignation at someone else's injustice. The experience of such feelings is very important - it is easier for a child to act in accordance with the norms that are instilled in him by adults, precisely when something emotionally touches him, when he vividly feels the need to act one way and not another, when he experiences the acuteness of an exciting experience. .
Feelings as motives for the behavior of a primary school student occupy great place in his life. And their shape is now different from that of a preschooler.

Motives of behavior based on positive experiences (sympathy, affection, affection) become more effective and manifest themselves in various forms. Incentives associated with feelings of sympathy, friendliness, and a sense of duty find their expression when schoolchildren prepare gifts for small children in kindergarten, when they correspond with children of other countries, and participate in activities aimed at the common good: collecting waste paper, planting trees. , decorate the streets. In this kind of behavior, moral feelings develop and deepen, turning into an effective force that encourages good deed.
But all this happens under one indispensable condition: good and useful deeds are associated with a lively emotional response from the child. If there is no such response, then no action, no matter how useful it may be objectively, will make changes in the inner world of the student, the action will remain only formally good, but essentially indifferent, in no way affecting the spiritual appearance of the student, his internal growth.
Children of primary school age, like preschoolers, often experience fear of angry dog, a bull, a rat, a snake, they sometimes have dreams that frighten them. But they also have new reasons for fear. For them, relationships with the class staff or some group of them, and the opinions of surrounding adults become of great importance. In this regard, the child may experience a special kind of fear: that he seems funny, a coward, a liar, etc.
Reasons other than those of a preschooler now give rise to feelings of resentment. A preschooler gets offended when he doesn’t get something (a toy, a treat) that he likes and needs now, in this moment. The younger schoolchild is offended when he is not trusted with some assignment, because they believe that he will not be able to cope with it.
The emotional world of a junior schoolchild is quite diverse - there are worries associated with sports games, resentment or joy that arise in communication with peers, moral experiences caused by the kindness of others or, on the contrary, injustice. They can be deeply impressed by poems and stories, especially if they are read expressively, films and theater performances, songs and musical pieces. Feelings of pity, sympathy, indignation, anger, anxiety for the well-being of the beloved hero reach great expressiveness.
A 10-11 year old child in his fantasies “completes” individual pictures from the life of his favorite hero. Impressions from works of art that deeply touched his feelings can be expressed in drawings, in retelling what he read, heard, and saw. It’s interesting that when talking about the hero of a book, children sometimes try to emphasize and develop best qualities him and
"correct" deficiencies.

Younger schoolchildren are better aware of the moral requirements for the actions and behavior of people; they have good impulses: to help a sick, old person, to take pity on a wounded animal, to give another their toy or book.
Parents must certainly take into account the peculiarities of the development of moral feelings during these years, approving in every possible way the moral impulses of their children (giving something of their own to a friend, spending time helping a sick person), and in no case reproaching them for wasting their time and energy, needed for other, supposedly more important matters.

2. RELATIONS BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS IN JUNIOR CLASSES.

Before entering school, a child's need for personal affection determined his social circle. If this need continues to persistently prevail, the emerging team may reject such a child either due to the fact that school remains alien to him due to too strong an attachment to the family, or due to his desire to achieve the personal favor of the teacher. In children, this rejection, which objectively reflects the dynamics of the formation of relationships in a team, in extreme cases can take the form of bullying. Usually it occurs in those children for whom easy signs of rejection are not enough to correct their behavior, and most often in boys. This behavior does not coincide with ideas about masculinity. And when adults say: “What kind of man are you?”, boys despise, and girls either join them in this, or accept the despised person into their company and even protect him from other boys. None of these spontaneous paths contribute to the formation of masculine behavior. Only very subtle and delicate help from adults can lead girls to respect such a boy as a boy, and through this - to a change in the attitude of the male part of the team towards him.

A younger student already has some idea of ​​help and sympathy. But it is concrete and based not on an understanding of the objective meaning of actions, but on the child’s positive emotional dependence on the approval of an adult. Collective relations, as was said, are just being formed. The student does not yet understand the position of the other, cannot imagine himself in his place. Moral behavior, expressed in sympathy and help, lags behind formal knowledge of “what is good,” and negative behavior is ahead of the ability to judge “what is bad.”

In the elementary grades, conditions arise that encourage and accelerate the process of developing self-esteem: the child determines his place among others and makes attempts to imagine his future on this basis. It is impossible to deny the role of temperament and character in the formation of self-esteem and the level of aspirations, but it is necessary to emphasize the leading role of social and environmental factors, in this case the school. Already in grades 1-2, low-achieving and excellent students may develop inflated self-esteem. A. I. Lipkina
(1976) states that an obstacle to the proper development of the personality of children with high self-esteem is their lack of self-criticism, and for the normal development of the personality of children with low self-esteem is reduced self-criticism. From the examples given by the author, it is clear how self-esteem affects the level of aspirations in the future and how it differs between boys and girls. In girls' ideas about the future, the motives of family, emotional attachment, and the desire to be beautiful and loved are clearly heard. The life plans of the fingers are more aimed at self-development and self-realization.

V. A. Krutetsky (1976) believes that the psyche of a primary school student is characterized by “contemplative curiosity.” He emphasizes the insufficient differentiation of perception, its connection with action and the predominant development of involuntary attention. Hence the significant need for clarity, the desire to touch and pick up everything of interest. This desire is enhanced by the expressed emotionality of children. “Many contradictions of this age are associated with the fact that the junior schoolchild, who is at the “pre-moral” stage of the dominance of subjectivity in behavior,” begins to enter the phase of objective interests and determining his place in the team, developing positions in relation to responsibilities.
In the lower grades, the foundations of moral behavior and consciousness continue to be laid. The noted features of emotionality favor the enrichment of experiences, and on the threshold of adolescence, children already have a certain moral potential, which will largely determine the course of the puberty period. Insufficient development of will and impulsive behavior, curiosity, gullibility, imitation
- this is the main thing that the educator relies on and which, while contributing to the educational process, can also carry with it a certain danger.
The younger schoolchild, usually not being able to clearly identify an element to imitate, imitates everything. A girl copies an older friend or the heroine of a film, not only trying to reproduce the main thing she liked, but also adopting an attitude towards appearance, towards the opposite sex - she can get a manicure, amaze her parents with a sudden change in her hairstyle, start sighing over a portrait of a film actor. A boy can not only increase his strength, striving to be like his hero, but also adopt from him traits of vulgarity and rudeness, not a virtuous interest in women. In these cases, adults face a difficult task: to identify the primary stimulus for imitation and, without offending it in the eyes of the child, to cleanse it of everything superficial, accidental, and unwanted. It is useful not only to explain that this or that trait is bad, but also to show how and how it interferes with its owner.
However, only by explaining and demanding, without demonstrating by example their own attitude and behavior, adults contribute to the fact that children can place the observance of moral norms and rules in direct dependence on the situation, the mood of adults, develop an idea of ​​​​the formality of morality and morality - morality for school, morality for Houses. morality for a company of peers, morality for oneself, etc. The child takes his first lessons in hypocrisy and double morality from adults who do not at all set themselves the task of teaching these lessons, but who believe that a child should be raised by appealing only to his consciousness and reason.
The active, effective demands of adults and the group of peers introduces children into the circle of social responsibilities. Contrary to the opinion of some parents, healthy children usually not only do not get tired of responsibilities, but also actively seek them out. Not finding them at school and at home, the child will look for and find them in other places, and, perhaps, in completely unacceptable, ugly forms. The street is strong with its rich arsenal of means of influence, addressed not only to the mind, but above all to feelings and experiences.

At primary school age, a number of new psychological qualities develop. “Already by the 3rd grade, in the course of targeted educational influences, voluntariness is formed as a special quality of mental processes, and in connection with it, a sense of duty” [Davydov V.V., 1973; Levitov
N.D., 1969]. For some, this is stable and manifests itself in a wide range of life relationships, for others only in individual actions or a relatively narrow area of ​​behavior, for others it is still poorly developed, and some may be obedient. but only as required. The ability to plan actions silently, internally develops. The ability to evaluate one’s actions as if from the outside begins to take shape. This skill underlies reflection-quality, which allows you to intelligently and objectively analyze your thoughts and actions from the angle of their compliance with the plan and conditions of activity [Davydov V.V.,
1973].
For a long time believed that primary school age is sexually neutral.
In psychoanalysis it was considered as a “latent” period. In a number of valuable and informative domestic manuals one can also find generalized,
“genderless” analysis of the psychology and behavior of a primary school student. The generally accepted fact of friendship with members of the same sex as an important feature of this period cannot be used to deduce the concept of sexual latency - it refers to heterosexual activity rather than to sexual interests, and does not mean a cessation or temporary stoppage of the psychosexual development of boys and girls. “The stork was forgotten by us at the age of nine, we began to listen to adults at the age of ten, at the age of thirteen, let my mother forgive me, we knew everything, even though we knew nothing,” writes K. Simonov.

The age of 9-10 years is a period of sexual homogenization: boys’ imitation and attachment to their father. and the girls to their mother. Sometimes the transition to this stage occurs quickly and the change in the child’s attachments is especially striking. The class is divided into two camps - boys and girls, betrayal of one's camp is condemned and despised. Boys play war games. read “heroic” literature and imitate heroes and knights. They are more drawn to their father, and in his absence, to men in general
(teachers, heads of “male” circles and sections) show persistent interest in “male” work. Girls in their circle discuss the first romantic heroes, fashion, housekeeping, give preference to lyrical literature, become especially close to their mother and, if their relationship with her is favorable, they confide their secrets to her, are more drawn to female teachers, and can collectively fall in love with a male teacher. For both boys and girls, this is the period of formation of self-assessment as a representative of a certain gender.
Polarization of the sexes is a natural pattern of development, often externally manifested by aggressive or defensive actions that reflect internal interest in the other sex. V. V. Bogoslovsky
(1974) gives an example when a boy pulls a girl’s braid and, when asked by the teacher why he did it, he replies: “I like her.” Being rather an exception to the rule in the mouth of a child, this explanation reveals the true motives for outwardly aggressive or defensive behavior. As a rule, it does not cause any serious conflicts, and we have repeatedly noted in girls a feeling of resentment and neglect in the absence of these unique signs of attention. Recently, it has become increasingly common to observe in girls of this age a boyishly aggressive style of behavior that previously manifested itself, and even then not always and not in everyone, only in the puberty period. Apparently, both acceleration and some shift in gender roles and ideas about masculinity and femininity in modern society and family are reflected here.
M. Kineg (1974) provides data that refutes the idea of ​​sexual latency in a 7-year-old child. Children either do not realize or hide their sexual interests and their manifestations. “As already indicated, this secrecy can be significantly enhanced and supported by omissions in upbringing in the tendency of a gradual increase in masturbation, heterosexual and less often forging games in boys at this age. Similar data were obtained for girls, whose sexual activity, however, is lower. At 10-12 years old, boys move from expressing a desire to marry someone to a desire to love a future girlfriend and, finally, to joint social activity, to increasing the number of friends of the other sex.
The mothers we interviewed indicated the presence of questions about the difference between the sexes, details of conception and birth, menstruation and wet dreams, and sexual intercourse. Some children were afraid of losing their gender differences, others expressed a desire to change their gender. Some mothers definitely spoke about children falling in love, about masturbation, about conventional sexual manifestations
(finger sucking, lip and nail biting, nose picking, hair pulling, constantly keeping hands in pockets). The predominant sources of children’s information about gender were peers and literature, often the mother for girls and much less often the father for boys.”

“The data from a survey of young people we conducted relating to primary school age are very indicative. A third of boys and girls at this age heard about gender differences for the first time, and 4 out of 5 received information from peers and older children, and every 6-7th perceived it emotionally.
36% of boys and 68% of girls of this age received information about childbirth from similar sources. For every 4th boy and every 5th girl this was emotionally significant. In half the cases, boys and somewhat more often girls understood the role of the father. almost all boys and half of girls - from explanations of peers and older children, 15% - from parents; This information was perceived by many with excitement, often as something amazing. The essence of pregnancy was revealed to 60% of boys and 52% of girls, of which, thanks to parents - 9% of boys and 24% of girls, from specialists - 5-7% of children." Parents did not explain the essence of sexual intercourse, but 63% of boys and 63% of boys received information about it 43% of girls, and from observation of sexual intercourse - 30% and 19%, respectively, from peers and older children - 65% and 68%, from literature - 20 ° / o and 24% “For a third of boys and two thirds of girls, this caused emotional , often with disgust, reaction. 40% of boys (9% from fathers) and 66% of girls (61% from mothers) learned about menstruation and wet dreams. contraceptives 45% of boys and 6% of girls recognized
(only a few - from specialists and parents). If 10% of boys and 1% of girls reported about masturbation, then 33% of 10% learned about it, respectively: every tenth - visually, every fifth boy and every second girl - from literature, approximately every second - from peers, every tenth - from strangers adults. The main verbal farms of acquired knowledge about gender deserve attention: in medical terminology - 27% of boys and 43% of girls and, accordingly, in philistine expressions - 52% and 42%, in cynical and abusive expressions - 26 and 2%, in " children's" expressions - 3% and 5%. Two boys and three girls reported the onset of sexual activity before the age of 12, three boys and two girls reported homosexual love, 56% of boys and 36% of girls reported heterosexual love. In isolated cases, boys and girls had a desire to be naked. Every third boy and every 16th girl spied on the intimate activities of persons of the other sex.”
The data presented indicate that the idea of ​​sexual latency in younger schoolchildren is erroneous. Differences in parents' information about the sexual behavior and interests of children, on the one hand, and young people about their childhood, on the other. apparently reflect not only age trends, but also errors in previous sex education. The difference in awareness of sex issues according to parents and according to young people only strengthens this assumption.

The lack of proper attention on the part of parents, teachers and doctors to sex education, the predominance of opinions about the asexuality of younger schoolchildren lead in some cases to the fact that sex education is carried out by secret co-educators, gender problems are discussed using obscene linguistic means, making it difficult for subsequent correct acquaintance with them and contributing to the contamination of ideas about sexuality, its perception as a shameful, forbidden side of human life. This inevitably contrasts with the natural development of gender identification and the formation of male and female social roles, which can often lead to the emergence of conflict-neurotic tension, sometimes to neurotic maladaptation of children.
Although at this age many of the socio-psychological characteristics of boys and girls are the same, a number of them show differences
[Kolominsky Ya. L., 1971]. The gender of students does not affect their status in the class.
Sociometric studies have shown that the percentage of mutual choices of boys and girls is low, while girls choose boys somewhat more often than boys choose girls. The stability of preferences, including the choice of friends, is weaker in boys, while in girls it is closely correlated with general stability. Schoolgirls who needed approval were the most popular among their peers, because it is more important for girls to be socially acceptable. Among boys, such faces are the least popular.
“At age 10, girls are less sincere and more neurotic, boys are more extroverted.” A number of differences are associated with the learning process: girls are more successful in speech development than boys. boys are more successful in mathematical judgments. spatial operations; More often than not, boys perform tasks better alone, and girls do better in a group, and better in a group mixed by gender; girls cope better with tasks that allow for an ordinary or conventional method of solution; already in primary school, boys have a higher ability to produce creative ideas; the influence of special factors (level of education in the family, teacher help) on girls is much higher; Boys are more likely to experience behavioral and learning difficulties: volitional delay in motor reactions is greater in girls; Boys have a shorter time for verbal-associative reactions.

3. PSYCHOLOGICAL FEATURES OF RELATIONSHIPS between BOYS AND GIRLS IN
JUNIOR CLASSES.

The psychological characteristics of the male sex, albeit in an undeveloped form, are revealed from an early age. As the child develops, they become more and more distinct. In every specific case education can contribute to their identification and development or, on the contrary, smooth them out; Moreover, individual resistance to such a smoothing influence varies: some boys, despite any influence from others, demonstrate traits typical of the male sex. others succumb to these influences, and their behavior becomes less contrasting in comparison with the behavior of their peers. The relative nature of gender psychological characteristics should also be taken into account: universal human traits, qualities, properties are broader and completely cover specifically gender characteristics; therefore, we can talk about the predominance of any of them in representatives of the male or female sex, and this predominance implies, firstly, a greater frequency of any property in representatives of a certain sex and, secondly, its greater severity in the presence of such a property in representatives of both sexes.
Boys develop both physically and psychologically at a slightly slower pace than girls. It is known that they begin to speak on average 2-4 months later than girls, and later they develop many concepts related to relationships between people; by the time they start school. As a rule, they approach less prepared than girls. Boys develop qualities such as responsibility, conscientiousness, and diligence more slowly and more difficultly; Even with proper upbringing, it is on average more difficult to develop these qualities in males.
It is typical that girls, for example, feel more free in dealing with boys than boys with girls. At any age, female representatives are more contentious to turn to authorities in determining their position, and in case of any difficulties, they are more inclined to adhere to established norms of behavior. It is easier to force girls at school to carry out any errands. Apparently, this is why teachers (mostly women) are more willing to give instructions to girls and underestimate the capabilities of boys in carrying out such assignments. And often what is completely surprising and unexpected for them is the ability of boys to take their work seriously, to show activity and independence; It is characteristic that the latter is often revealed precisely in extracurricular activities - for example, on a hike. where the class is going. It is here that it turns out that boys can be serious, businesslike, and active. and in this situation, girls are clearly more productive. Part of this is due to this. that school activities themselves are closer in nature to girls’ usual activities at home than boys’. and with the fact that the latter are always prone to more unexpected and out-of-the-usual activities that girls do. on the contrary, they are often alarming

If young men in communication are guided primarily by their peers, then girls in a significant part of them - by older male representatives (students, military personnel, etc.). As noted by I. S. Kon
(“Psychology of Youth Friendship”. M., 1973), to the question: “What age would you prefer for a friend?” - young men give preference to a peer (up to 80% of responses), less often to an older person (up to 20%) and very rarely to a younger one. For girls, peers are also in first place (up to 50-60%), but they very often give preference to elders (up to 40-50%) and do not choose anyone younger than themselves.
At the same time, it is women who are prone to guardianship activities; they are more willing to mentor, take care of younger children, look after them, etc.
The interests and inclinations of male representatives are often aimed at relatively distant objects and phenomena, sometimes far from what could be the direct responsibilities of a boy, teenager, or young man. Hence the more pronounced tendency among men to be distracted by extraneous matters and to do something other than what is immediately required. If the focus of a girl's attention, starting from an early age, is on a person and the sphere of his immediate existence - relationships between people, surrounding objects, then the attention of boys is attracted to a much greater extent by distant objects and phenomena. Related to this best knowledge girls about themselves, their greater attention to their appearance and to the characteristics of the appearance and behavior of others, greater interest in inner world, great sensitivity to a person’s feelings and experiences. It is no coincidence that girls are 3-4 times more likely than boys to keep a diary.
Differences in interests and inclinations determine some important advantages of the male sex: greater breadth of thinking, broader horizons, “better ability to compare distant objects and phenomena, greater objectivity of generalization, and at the same time important disadvantages - less everyday adaptability, worse understanding of what is necessary in comparison with understanding of what is possible.” .

There are noticeable differences in the perception of time and space. Female representatives are more attracted to what is located directly next to a person - home, furnishings, immediate surroundings, people with whom they have to communicate. that is, everything is directly interconnected; representatives of the male sex, regardless of immediate need, from everyday affairs. Often interested in distant objects and phenomena that are in no way connected with each other. The attention of female representatives is not distributed so widely, but within the limits of what is perceived, everything is reflected in the consciousness more carefully and in detail. Therefore, in an unfamiliar environment (new area, new route, etc.) boys, teenagers. young men are more confident than their peers. If you want to find out how to walk or drive somewhere, where this or that object is located, etc., it is better to ask the boys: their explanations are always more useful, and often more sensible, than the explanations of adults.
However, females often feel more confident and are more active in situations related to communication. If the object, the area, the subject as a whole is sufficiently known to both boys and girls, then the latter know it better. It is no coincidence that on average they write better summaries and essays: they have more coherence and descriptiveness, more attention to detail, although not more imagination. In the perception of the very passage of time, female representatives are inferior to males, which, however, is not always noticeable due to their more responsible, on average, attitude towards their duties.
Characterized by greater risk-taking, “sweeping” behavior, greater mobility and restlessness of boys, teenagers, and young men in comparison with their peers. True, this often peacefully coexists with the greater inertia of some male representatives in everyday life and in family affairs.
Apparently, the latter is connected with the characteristics of upbringing and attitude towards these matters. As S. Sheinkman rightly notes (“We are men.” M., 1977), and unlike women, whose whole life is loaded with constant painstaking work, men have always tended to abruptly replace overactive activity with passive pastime, the danger of which is especially great in our days "We note, however, that many women would be happy to relax, but there is no time, and men have the opportunity to afford such a vacation.

All these features of the psychology of boys, adolescents, and young men in various situations determine significant differences in their behavior in comparison with their peers. The lower maturity of boys compared to girls is especially clearly evident in the lower grades. They are more distracted from their lessons and their minds are more likely to wander away from what they should be doing. If girls have to be required to do their homework, then boys have to be forced to do their homework. Girls are, on average, neater, more diligent, more conscientious, and more diligent. Even if in general the boy thinks no worse. or better yet, girls; it’s more difficult to make him think in class than a girl. The restlessness of boys and their lesser ability to withstand static loads is manifested in their more frequent violation of discipline in class and in more noisy behavior during breaks. Less attention to oneself and everyday activities is reflected in the fact that it is much more difficult to teach a boy to keep his own things in order. workplace, and coming from the street. neatly fold clothes and place shoes. Boys pay much less attention to their clothes than girls, except in those cases when the features of the proposed clothing somehow affect their ideas about how a boy (as opposed to a girl) should dress - there can be a strong protest, and The fact that clothes are dirty or torn interests them and affects them less than girls.

Psychological differences between boys and girls are clearly expressed as reasons for academic failure. As noted by Yu. Babansky ("Optimization of the learning process" M., 1977), among the reasons for academic failure among girls in all grades, poor health accounts for a larger percentage (i.e., the reason is objective and valid), while academic failure associated with gaps in skills educational work, with a negative attitude towards learning, with a low level of education, is observed more often in boys than in girls, and at all ages. In general, a complex of negative attitudes towards learning, disorganization, lack of system and lack of discipline is the cause of academic failure in boys approximately twice as often as in girls. It is also no coincidence that on average (in many countries) boys significantly predominate among underperforming schoolchildren.
At the same time, in the primary grades, the main difficulty in teaching boys is precisely their immature attitude towards learning: they do not feel responsibility, worry little or do not worry at all about bad grades and dissatisfaction of the teacher and parents, forget what is assigned to them, or do not give it their due. meanings, and parents have to find out about homework for them. In fact, the boys here behave more like children younger age. After all, it is known that no matter how smart and capable a small child is, you cannot demand much from him simply because of his age-related immaturity, and in fact in grades I-III children of different ages sit at the same desk: on average, boys younger than girls by a year and a half, although this difference is not in calendar age.
Along with this, boys lack the proper work skills, and also do not develop the qualities necessary for its successful implementation: perseverance, perseverance, patience, diligence, diligence, accuracy. Any type of mental activity is difficult for them if it requires conscious activity and effort on oneself. It is also interesting that they, more than girls, tend to overestimate any success of theirs: if something works out, their eyes are ready to declare that it is easy and simple, but what doesn’t work out seems to them too difficult and complicated: in this their lack of criticality is evident. Boys are more likely than girls to experience mood swings - from excessive self-confidence to loss of self-confidence, although in general, compared to girls, they tend to overestimate themselves. When improper upbringing this can be combined in the most unlawful way with a feeling of superiority towards girls; This feeling is typical specifically for the least mature male representatives, those who themselves are far from the norms of behavior of their sex.
In educational activities, differences in the interests and inclinations of male and female representatives are fully demonstrated. In general, boys have a wider range of interests than girls. Boys have an advantage in knowledge of something special, rarer, special, but are inferior to girls in knowledge of simpler and more common objects and phenomena.
Boys' vocabulary is usually wider, especially due to more distant subjects and more general concepts. In the speech of boys, words that convey actions predominate, while girls (and women in general) are more prone to subject-evaluative speech. There are more boys than girls among those who do well in mathematics; There are more girls than boys among those who do well in literature and foreign languages. Apparently, the very nature of the humanities subjects corresponds more to the inclinations and nature of thinking of girls, while the clear, more schematic and abstract nature of the subjects of the physics and mathematics cycle corresponds more to the inclinations and nature of thinking of boys. In their free time, boys are more likely to play sports and devote time to outdoor games, while girls are more inclined to read, play music, etc. In general, boys are more inclined to collect collections of something than girls, but the success of this activity can be almost the same: girls are helped out by greater accuracy, boys - better systematicity.

There are no significant differences in the attitude of boys and girls towards their friends and teachers. In the lower grades, for both those and others, the greatest authority is the teacher. In adolescence, the opinions of comrades and intra-class relationships become increasingly important. At the same time, girls are more prone to critical statements addressed to teachers and friends, to complaints about something, but this is more likely to be a single reaction to any specific event, is rarely generalized and generally does not reflect a negative attitude towards school-wide and intra-class affairs. On the contrary, boys are less inclined to evaluate any events and their statements are accompanied by a lesser emotional reaction. Nevertheless, in a number of cases, it is boys who can develop a fairly stable system of negative attitudes towards school.
A significant disadvantage of schoolchildren of both sexes is the inability to organize joint activities. This is partly due to the indifferent nature of the educational process in terms of the gender of schoolchildren, which undoubtedly affects the quality of both education and upbringing. Apparently, it is necessary to more fully use the opportunities of extracurricular work to develop the skills of joint activities among schoolchildren of both sexes. Another reason for the inability of schoolchildren of both sexes to organize joint activities is their wary attitude towards each other, usually initiated by adults.
When wariness, and at a certain period, some alienation between boys and girls is replaced by an increasingly growing mutual interest, their mutual activity does not find the right paths, since to this increase mutual interest they are not prepared by previous upbringing. As a result, many young men and women enter adulthood with rather vague ideas about the nature of the socially useful division of responsibilities between men and women, with the inability to organize joint activities with representatives of the other sex, and experience great difficulties in communicating with them.
Raising boys in school is, in general, a more difficult task for teachers, not only because among the latter the absolute majority are women, but also due to the above-mentioned psychological characteristics of the male sex. In general, we can say that schools are currently doing a worse job in educating males than in educating females. It is no coincidence that boys are on average inferior to their peers in academic performance; bad habits (smoking, drinking alcohol, obscene language) are more common among them, and they are more likely to commit crimes. Therefore, knowledge of psychological sexual characteristics and taking them into account in practical activities necessary for everyone who is interested in the full education of the younger generation. And the difficulties associated with raising male schoolchildren cannot justify the shortcomings here.

Conclusion

Having completed this work Having studied the peculiarities of the relationship between boys and girls in primary school, I came to certain conclusions that I want to reveal in conclusion.
It is known that girls of this age are more active than boys. They are more conscientious, more responsible. Often this is precisely the source of boyish opposition to “female leadership.” This means that it is necessary to try specifically to place boys in the position of responsible and proactive members of the team as often as possible. It is necessary to carefully note manifestations of a sense of adulthood in boys and carefully support it. The spiritual atmosphere of the family has a decisive influence on the formation of the personal qualities of the future man or woman. If the child has not learned to love his parents, brothers, sisters, and his school. Homeland, it is difficult to expect that in the future he will be able to deeply love the woman he has chosen.
The reason for the inability of schoolchildren of both sexes to organize joint activities is their wary attitude towards each other, usually initiated by adults. When wariness, and, at a certain period, some alienation between boys and girls is replaced by an increasingly growing mutual interest, their mutual activity does not find the right paths, since they are not prepared for this increase in mutual interest by previous upbringing. As a result, many young men and women enter adulthood with rather vague ideas about the nature of the socially useful division of responsibilities between men and women, with the inability to organize joint activities with representatives of the other sex, and experience great difficulties in communicating with them.
For the successful moral education of boys and girls, the most favorable conditions are when three generations live in a family, when there are approximately equal numbers of men and women, boys and girls in the family.
This composition favors children’s accumulation of experience in intergender relationships both within and between generations. But most boys and girls live in two-generation families and rarely interact with their grandparents. The lack of communication between children and the older generation impoverishes their upbringing as future men and women. Communication with grandparents, even more than communication with parents, creates in children a feeling of mental comfort, an atmosphere of warmth and affection. Of course, this does not mean that young parents thereby receive any reason to shift the tasks of education onto the shoulders of their elders. We must also take into account the fact that sometimes it is grandmothers who are inclined not to make unconditional educational demands on the child. Sometimes a child who is in conflict with his parents finds protection from his grandmother - and this leads to spoiling.
The upbringing of boys and girls is more successful in a complete family, when the father and mother live together. In families where one of the parents (usually the father) is absent, boys and girls can grow up withdrawn, alienated, with a feeling of impoverishment of their childhood. Boys growing up without a father tend to be either effeminate or embittered. A mother raising a boy without a father. It is necessary to organize the son’s communication with interesting male relatives, colleagues, friends, fathers of the son’s comrades, thereby compensating for the lack of paternal influence.
For the moral education of boys and girls in the family, a diverse group of children plays a special role - then the primary experience of intergender communication is acquired easily and naturally. If a family does not have a second or third child, then it can make up for the lack of communication with representatives of the opposite sex, for example, by making friends with families that have children of the opposite sex.

The spiritual atmosphere of the family and the relationship between parents are of particular importance.

The shortcomings of moral education are especially great in those families where there is no mutual respect, friendship, or love between parents. Boys and girls from such families go out into life with distorted ideas about relationships between men and women. The boy develops an incorrect idea about truly “masculine” behavior, about the principles and ethics of relationships in marriage and family. Girls who grew up in such families sometimes have a negative attitude towards men, family, and marriage in the future.
The personal example of father and mother is one of the main ways to raise boys and girls in the family. No special efforts will yield positive results if children have a negative example of their own parents before their eyes.
The development of a child is greatly influenced by the behavior of surrounding men and women. Thus, it has been established that each boy and girl communicates on average with 200 men and women, who are distributed, as it were, into seven zones: family, neighbors, yard, school, neighborhood, other neighborhoods, other settlements. Each communication zone has its own characteristics. After school, the yard and neighborhood play a decisive role in the life of boys; for girls, the family and partly the yard.

This provision has both positive and negative meanings.
A large sphere of communication has a beneficial effect on the general intellectual development and expansion of a child’s horizons, but on moral development- not always. Children do not yet know how to consciously select spiritual and moral values ​​in different spheres of communication; they perceive the environment without proper criticism. This is where the source of negative influences on the child lies. Of course, a child raised with stable moral and intellectual qualities has more opportunities to resist harmful influences. This places a serious responsibility on adults - one should not think that their behavior and appearance matter only in own family. Without noticing it themselves, adults often influence children - and in the most different and unexpected places. What these impacts are depends on the moral content of the actions of adults. And they need to be guided by the following rule: among other people's children, it is important to behave the way you would like others to behave in the presence of your child. The successful solution of all these problems requires the combined efforts of the school and family when working with each child.

List of sources used.

Sat. scientific trd. – M.: Research Institute of OP, 1976.
2. Isaev D.N., Kagan V.E. Sex education and mental hygiene in children. – L.:

Medicine, 1980.
3. Stankin M.I. If we want to cooperate. – M.: Publishing Center

"Academy", 1996.
4. The world of childhood: junior schoolchild / Ed. A.G. Khripkova – M.:

Pedagogy, 1998.
5. Solovyova O.B. Feedback in interpersonal communication. – M.: 1989.
6. Khripkova A.G., Kolesov D.V. Boy - teenager - young man. – M.:

Enlightenment, 1982.
7. Khripkova A.G., Kolesov D.V. Girl - teenager - girl. – M.:

Enlightenment, 1982.
8. Schoolboy L. Sex education for schoolchildren. – Chisinau, 1989.

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Oblonsky I. P., 1935

You can be very good friends with members of the opposite sex without having any feelings towards them. romantic relationships. It happens that a boy and a girl simply enjoy talking to each other on different topics. This kind of friendship turns out to be very useful, because it becomes possible to openly discuss all issues of interest and at the same time, romantic feelings will not interfere or make you feel embarrassed.

When you develop romantic feelings for a person of the opposite sex (or if you find him attractive), then there is no reason to break your usual friendly relations. True, at the same time, many teenagers feel awkward, shy and do not know how to behave in relation to the object of their feelings. The best thing to do in this case is to calm down and be yourself.

Everyone feels awkward at some point in their life.

In the past, it was believed that boys should make the first move, and girls should wait for recognition. Because of these traditional beliefs, some people think that they must follow rigid rules. But nowadays, more and more girls are the first to admit their feelings, and boys, as a rule, have nothing against it.

Feelings for members of the same sex

During early youth young people sometimes have strong feelings for members of their own sex. These could be friends, acquaintances, peers, or someone older, for example, teachers or friends of parents. These people may be liked because the teen is understanding, kind, or simply attractive. There is nothing abnormal about such feelings, and they have nothing to do with the heterosexual or homosexual preferences of adults.

Sometimes such feelings awaken along with the first sexual thoughts and feelings. Most often these are just dreams that do not imply any Serious relationships and reflecting changing attitudes towards the world. This may be one explanation for why teenagers often become passionate about pop singers or movie stars.

When I try to talk to a girl, I get confused and don't understand what I'm saying. What to do in this case?

Everyone feels awkward at some point in their life, especially when trying to meet someone or impress someone. Try to talk about your interests and ask her what she likes. All people like to be interested in them and listen to their opinions. The main thing is not to worry and be yourself. Remember: to be a good communicator, you don't have to talk all the time. It is no coincidence that silence is called gold.

How to persuade a girl to go on a date?

The best thing is to be honest and say that you want to go out with her, and for this it is good to go to a place that you both like. It could be a cinema or a cafe. If you met on school disco or a party, then first you can just talk to her. Sometimes it’s easier to invite a girl to go somewhere with friends and girlfriends. Most often, this is a good way to get to know her better before going somewhere together.

My friend really likes a boy in our class. But she doesn't know how to tell him about this? What should she do?

This situation is completely natural and can end in a serious relationship. Although it is difficult to say in advance, this hobby will be short-term or long-lasting. If you like someone, it is better to get to know this boy better, and then let him know about your feelings. Let your friend just talk to this boy or suggest that he do something together to see what it's like for them to be together. Some people subconsciously prefer to fall in love with unavailable people. As soon as the object of their passion shows interest in them, their feelings fade away.

How can I admit that I love you without being teased?

As people grow up, their attitudes towards other people change and they sometimes develop strong feelings for a person. It is possible that some of your friends have not yet reached this stage and do not understand your feelings. In such a situation, they laugh and tease - this is just a way to hide their embarrassment and misunderstanding.

It is best to talk to the object of your attention in private and choose a topic for conversation that interests both of you. You can also do something together, like playing a game or doing homework. However, if you are not sure that they will reciprocate your feelings, then you should wait a little until you become decisive.

How to tell my parents that I have a boyfriend?

It is always better for parents to be honest. Some parents need time to get used to the fact that their children are growing up and starting to look at the world in a new way. Sometimes parents think that their children are still small and cannot experience serious feelings for members of the opposite sex. It seems to them that their children do not yet know what it means to truly love.

It might be worth saying that you like this boy and enjoy being around him. Most likely, they will not worry so much if you are walking somewhere not alone with this boy, but in the company of several friends. In addition, your parents will be more comfortable when you tell them exactly where you are going and when you will return. If you keep your promise and return on time, they will trust you more.

Is it good that I'm dating a guy who is 6 years older than me?

If you are 13 and the guy is 19, then, as you might guess, there is too much difference between you. Of course, people mature differently, but usually 13-year-olds and 19-year-olds get carried away different things. In more advanced age this difference may not seem too noticeable, but a 19-year-old boy may feel differently about many things than a 13-year-old girl. For example, he may like to drink alcohol at parties (and by law, after 18 years old, he has every right to do this), he may want to stay somewhere until very late, or demand a more serious and long-term relationship from you.

Such an age difference almost inevitably implies different attitudes towards sex. Many young people at the age of 19 lead an active sex life. Most would agree that 13 is too early to have sex (the legal age is 16). If a 19-year-old boy has sex with a 13-year-old girl, it will be against the law.

How to make a boy love me?

It's hard to make someone love you. If you like a boy, then it is better not to try to force your feelings on him. Get to know him better, tell him about your interests and ask about his hobbies.

It's worth thinking...

And discuss with parents or adults you trust

Try to imagine yourself in your parents' shoes and think about what they might be worried about while you were growing up. Here are just a few possible reasons for excitement:

You may be physically harmed;

You may suffer mental trauma;

You are not doing well enough at school;

You may be forced to have sex;

Your friends are a bad influence on you;

You lack communication and spend insufficient time with peers.

When you discuss this with your parents, they will become less worried about you.