Second birth: reviews of mothers. Is the second birth easier than the first? Housing and financial opportunities
One child in the family is very convenient. You can pay a lot of attention to him, buy expensive things and great amount toys. In addition, over time, the baby grows up, learns to play on his own and does not need parental care so much. Mom and Dad finally have time for themselves. And very often it is at this moment that they again think about the newborn, sleepless nights, pacifiers and diapers.
Second child
The second child is new chores and increased costs. After all, now you need to buy clothes and shoes for two, and you will also need a lot more toys. This is twice as much parental attention and vigilant vigil. This is different food - for a baby, an older child and mom and dad, endless cleaning and walks in any weather.
But if you look from the other side, then the second child is:
- Friend and family man for the elder.
- In some way, a means of preventing selfishness in a brother or sister.
- Another support for parents in the future.
- The opportunity to experience the joy of motherhood and fatherhood for the second time.
- A way to improve your parenting skills and develop new skills.
- An incentive to improve material well-being.
- Just the incomparable pleasure of the appearance of another little person in the family.
When is the best time to have a second child? How many months or years after the first birth you need to think about new pregnancy? What factors will be decisive?
Determining Factors
The age difference between children, of course, affects their relationship and the life of the whole family as a whole.
Sometimes the second baby is born a year and a half after the first, and then the children are called the weather. And there is also the opposite situation, when the difference between brothers and sisters is 15–20 years, and by age the elder looks like the parent of the younger.
When is it better to give birth to a second child, so that it would not be too burdensome for the parents, and the children would be friends with each other? To decide for yourself this question, you must first consider the following factors:
- The age of the parents.
- Health status.
- Physical and psychological capabilities.
- Relationships between children in the future.
Age of parents
It's no secret that a woman's age plays an important role in pregnancy planning. And although today many give birth to children at the age of forty and later, the period from 25 to 35 years is considered optimal for bearing a child. Why?
In this age future mom full of strength, energy and health. There are usually no chronic diseases yet, and if there are, they have little effect on her well-being. It is easy for a woman to endure pregnancy and at the same time take care of her first child. In addition, the body of the expectant mother has another feature that must always be remembered.
Women's eggs are not able to renew themselves. They are present in the ovaries from birth, and their number does not change throughout life. Impact of adverse external factors inevitably leads to the occurrence of mutations in them. With age, these changes accumulate, and the likelihood of participation of such an egg in conception increases.
That is why doctors have long noticed that middle-aged mothers are much more likely to give birth to children with chromosomal abnormalities. This is especially true for Down syndrome.
Chromosomal abnormalities
Down syndrome, Edwards, Patau - it's all the result of chromosomal damage. It is impossible to predict and prevent such a situation. Already at the moment when the egg connects with the sperm and begins to divide, the divergence of chromosomes is disrupted. And this means that the future baby in the chromosome set will have less or more of them than necessary. Such a breakdown leads to serious developmental disorders, both physical and mental. Sometimes chromosomal abnormalities are incompatible with life.
IN young age The risk of having a baby with Down syndrome is one in seven hundred newborns. But if the expectant mother is over 35 years old, it increases significantly. And after 45 years, the probability of having such a child is 19-20%.
This does not mean that you can think about the second baby only up to thirty years. But forget about it important factor not worth it.
Sometimes it is he who is decisive. Is it possible to somehow influence this situation?
Screening
Modern medicine offers all pregnant women screening chromosomal abnormalities. At certain times, the expectant mother hands over special analysis blood and passes ultrasonography to assess the risk of this pathology. But, unfortunately, these data allow us to get only the probability of the birth of a special baby.
In some countries, pregnant women over 35 years of age are immediately offered to undergo an invasive examination - the determination of the chromosome set of embryonic cells. This analysis is almost 100% reliable. But he only informs future parents about the pathology. Change an already existing situation with chromosomal breakage modern medicine unable to.
If the age of the expectant mother is approaching the borderline, it is better not to postpone the birth of a second baby, even if this happens a year or two after the first birth.
Unlike women, men's age is not so important for pregnancy planning. Spermatozoa are produced continuously throughout life and the probability of mutation in them is minimal.
Health status
Health status also affects the age difference between children. For the future father, this dependence is direct - the younger he is at the time of the birth of both babies, the more strength and opportunities he has for their maintenance, upbringing and development. Therefore, the small difference between the heirs the best way suitable for the father of the family.
With a woman, things are more complicated. On the one hand, children-weather - this is a big burden on the fragile mother's body. But on the other hand, waiting too long for a second baby is the risk of new diseases, which increases with age.
After how many years is it better to give birth to a child from a medical point of view? To answer this question, you need to consider how the previous pregnancy ended:
- Natural childbirth.
- Caesarean section.
natural childbirth
The period of pregnancy implies a significant load on the woman's body, her muscles and joints, and the spine. In addition, this is an increased consumption of trace elements, especially iron and calcium. During the bearing of the baby, the expectant mother often develops Iron-deficiency anemia, hemoglobin decreases. Also noted fragility of nails, fragility of teeth, deterioration of hair.
If the second pregnancy immediately follows the first, the lack of vitamins and minerals increases. This entails a threat to the health of the second baby, because being in the womb, he will not receive the substances he needs.
After the first birth, a woman should be examined, undergo the necessary rehabilitation treatment to give the body a boost. It should be taken into account the fact that caring for a baby is not easy, especially when carrying a second child. These recommendations are valid for natural childbirth. But what if the first baby was born by caesarean section?
C-section
If the first birth ended with a caesarean section, the attitude of doctors to repeated pregnancy more wary. As a rule, the second child is also born through surgery. And although the main medical advice will be, as in natural childbirth, nevertheless, the condition of the scar on the uterus becomes the decisive factor.
What threatens a woman with a second pregnancy after a caesarean section? The most dangerous thing that can happen is the rupture of the uterus along the scar. To prevent this from happening, the scar must be wealthy, and, therefore, a woman needs some time to restore the normal structure of the uterine wall.
Minimum difference between two pregnancies after operative delivery doctors consider a period of two to three years. In practice, many women give birth earlier - after one and a half to two years. It is safe only if the consistency of the scar is confirmed by ultrasound.
Repeated births after a caesarean section are always a certain risk of complications, so you need to plan a pregnancy after consulting a gynecologist.
Physical and psychological capabilities
Often the decision to have a second child is made under the influence of relatives, friends and public opinion. Especially if everyone around already has two or three children with little difference aged. But this is fundamentally wrong.
Each family should make a decision about the second baby, guided only by their own capabilities. This is especially important for women.
Too often, sleepless nights, colic, teething so exhaust the mother that she only dreams of rest, and not of repeated happiness of motherhood. It is doubly difficult to cope with a child if he has health problems, hyperexcitability, and the husband is constantly at work and there is no one to wait for help from.
In this situation, a woman is in a state of constant stress and, having given birth to a second child under the influence of some factors, she can easily become depressed with unpleasant consequences.
Before you get pregnant again, you need to think about whether parents can afford such a responsibility? It is often more reasonable to wait a few years until the child grows up, and mom and dad have at least a little rest.
Relationships of children
And what about the relationship of children in the family? This factor is also very important. After all, all parents want brothers and sisters to be friends with each other - in childhood and in adult life. In addition, joint children's games greatly facilitate the life of parents.
Certain features can be distinguished if the age difference in children is:
- 1–2 years;
- 3–4 years;
- 5–7 years;
- 8 or more.
1–2 years
Babies with such a small difference are usually very friendly with each other. Children-weather in this respect are very similar to twins. They are unlikely to suffer from boredom and loneliness, because there is always a playmate nearby. The weather is easier to adapt to kindergarten and school, they usually go to the same group, and then to the same class.
For a woman, a certain advantage is the opportunity to fulfill her maternal duty, and then build a career without interrupting more for pregnancy and childbirth.
However, such a long decree has a negative impact on professional knowledge. And physically growing the weather is quite difficult.
3–4 years
This difference is considered optimal from a medical point of view, because there is plenty of time for parents to recuperate. However, the interests of children already differ significantly. They have different modes, and food, and games. Often there is serious competition between brothers and sisters with such a difference, because the elder is already accustomed to single-handedly enjoy the attention of his parents.
For a mother, such a difference in age makes life easier, since the first child already obeys and even helps, and the second tries to copy him in everything.
5–7 years
A difference of 5-7 years is too big for joint interests. But this also has its advantages. The first children feel really older. They can make life very easy for mom by entertaining the baby and helping her around the house. The main thing is not to get carried away and not to shift parental responsibilities to them. Younger children usually love their elders very much, copy them and imitate them in everything.
The major downside is interruption. professional activity for mother. However, this a great opportunity help the elder elementary school while on maternity leave.
8 years and more
When the difference is too large, older children begin to resemble second parents. Here, a patronizing attitude towards a brother or sister is possible, or, conversely, ignoring it. Sometimes the elder takes care and takes care of the younger in every possible way.
Of course, there will be no joint interests with such a difference, but the second children can always turn to the first for help or advice. For parents, it is much easier to arrange a life with such a difference, since older children are usually already quite independent.
After how much to give birth to a second baby is an important issue for every family. And you need to solve it, based only on your capabilities, without listening to outside advice and recommendations.
I used to be sure that the desire to have a second child arises in parents when they consider themselves prepared for this event. For example, there was confidence in their abilities to provide for another baby, such a spiritual need arose, there is a place for love and mutual understanding in the family, there are enough forces that I want to give to one more little man. In a word, the same as with the first child, only confidence and readiness to manifest parental responsibilities much more. But it turned out that this is not always the case.
Throughout my life, I have often heard very strange reasons give birth to a second child, which caused me only bewilderment. Let's talk about this in more detail.
Reason #1. It is necessary to give birth to the second, otherwise the first child will be selfish
Completely wrong position. Any child will be selfish if he is brought up in an atmosphere of permissiveness and indulges all his desires. I have a lot life examples before my eyes, when there were several children in the family, but, nevertheless, the egoists were there too. Since this could happen if, following the above logic, only only child maybe selfish?
The thing is that it is the children who become egoists in large families who receive more parental affection and permissiveness - "the youngest - the best." If a child feels that he is singled out, and he is “the main one” for his mother, then he will certainly begin to use it. Over time, he will turn into a real egoist.
And what happens to those who are "deprived"? He gets used to the fact that in order to achieve his goals, he needs to be on the alert all the time, not to click his beak, win back toys, love and parental attention. Therefore, he tries to "grab" more and better, otherwise no one will take care of him. The rudiments of egoism appear here too.
It turns out that only as a result wrong upbringing children can become selfish. How many of them mom and dad will have does not matter at all. The main thing is the approach to children and the correct prioritization.
Remember only baby doesn't mean lonely. He has a mom and dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, also family friends and neighbors. You can contact all of them - take care of the elders, help parents around the house, play with neighbors' children, share toys with them.
If you have an animal in your home that needs permanent care, That better way to turn a baby into a caring "altruist" and it's hard to come up with. (we also read:). If this does not help, then the birth of a second child will not change anything.
Try to start by raising and educating your firstborn as a philanthropic, caring and warm-hearted child. If you cope with this task 100%, then you can think about the birth of a second child. Otherwise, after his birth, the situation in the family will only get worse. Raising two egoists will be even more difficult.
Reason number 2. One child is not enough for procreation. Humanity is on the brink of extinction...
Let's no longer complain about the fact that humanity is threatened with catastrophic extinction. It is obvious that today the number of people living on our planet has exceeded the mark of 7 billion. What does it say? The possibility of overpopulation of the globe becomes real. Therefore, if you are so worried about the future of the whole generation, you should not have children at all.
Or are you one of the people noble family and therefore consider yourself obligated to multiply? And who told you that your family will bring something special for all the inhabitants of our planet? Let's leave such arguments, they are useless.
And I also want to ask a question to people who are worried about the future of all mankind - what have you already done for your kind, city, country, the whole world? Maybe you are tirelessly fighting for the preservation of the pristine beauty of nature, or you help people to deal with difficulties, support the poor and rescue the destitute? Or maybe you built a big bridge in your city for the convenience of movement of all citizens? Made a great discovery, invented something worthwhile?
It turns out that you have already invested your soul in humanity, the only thing left is to give birth to another person to preserve your kind? Has everything been redone? You shouldn't "worry" about the fate of the whole universe in this way, take care of others available methods to make mankind happy, if the reason for the birth of a second child lies precisely in this.
Reason number 3. It is necessary to give birth to a second, otherwise relatives and friends will not understand
It often happens that we are waiting for the reaction of others to our behavior. We are used to our actions being judged, which we are so afraid to hear, if we do not meet the expectations of the majority.
Moms take note!
Hello girls) I didn’t think that the problem of stretch marks would affect me, but I’ll write about it))) But I have nowhere to go, so I’m writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method helps you too ...
A story from every girl's life. When a girl reaches the age of 18, they begin to pester her with questions: “When will you get married?”. As soon as she marries, 'sneaks up' next question with a catch: “When are you going to give birth?”. Before she has time to recover from the first birth, the question is: “When is the next one?”. And so it goes on endlessly.
It turns out that we do not decide how we live. Is it decided by our neighbors, acquaintances, relatives? And we should spend our whole lives on conforming to their ideas, chasing their "when"?
Of course not. We learn to avoid inappropriate questions. Recall the old joke and draw conclusions.
A grandmother I know used to tell me all the time at weddings that I was “next.” I endured this pressure for a long time. Everything stopped at one "beautiful" moment, when at the funeral of our neighbor I turned to her and said her catchphrase: "You're next."
So, you already have one child. If that's enough for you, get it out of your head unnecessary thoughts that "everyone says it's necessary." And whoever thinks that one child is very little for a family, let him give birth to as many children as he wants. And no longer climb into someone else's life.
Reason number 4. The first child will be much more fun if the second appears
This phrase can be taken as a mockery. How do you solve the problem of "boredom" senior? If you make your first child a "nanny" who will be asked from time to time to bring a bottle, hold a pacifier or rattle a toy? We no longer take into account the fact that for some time you will generally “fall out” from the life of your older child - childbirth, recovery after them, caring for a newborn baby. All this does not contribute to his "fun", believe me.
Are you really worried about your baby having someone to play with, and do not justify your desire to have a second child with such reasoning? Then allow your firstborn to bring friends to your home, allocate a special place for him to play, think about how to organize his leisure time. Remember that children are drawn to their peers, so don't expect too close relationships from siblings. Older children are not interested in playing with younger ones. It is a fact. This only happens out of desperation.
And most importantly. You can not "use" the second child to entertain the first. It sounds somehow humiliating, even if you are just planning to give birth.
Reason number 5. Left a bunch of things from the first child
With this approach, to be honest, it is better not to give birth to the first. Child, comrades, he is not plush toy. He must be desired. Beloved. It must have resources in every sense.
And the financial motivation to save three kopecks on things is, excuse me, a mental crisis, and not a reason to bring a new person into the world. If you value junk so dearly, put it on the mezzanine and let it be stored there for your joy.
Clothes shouldn't rule your life. If you don't understand why, I can't explain. You can accept as a fact - people are primary, people are the goal, and things are just a means. Not vice versa.
They say that after giving birth to one child, a woman becomes more confident: excitement goes away, fear of contractions subsides, and the second birth is easier. However, in reality, everything may turn out differently, because there are a lot of myths around the second pregnancy. How true they are, whether the second pregnancy is harder or easier, is it true that it is better to plan a second child no earlier than two years later - the answers to these key questions should be clarified in advance.
What is second birth
Obstetricians-gynecologists of all pregnant women are divided into groups: first-time mothers and multiparous. If there are no children, then the patient is assigned to the first group. Those who managed to experience the joys of motherhood are called second-born or multi-parous. From a physiological point of view, repeated births are the happiest and most favorable. The body no longer experiences stress from what is happening, the uterus and cervix are more elastic, pain is less felt. In addition, the woman is prepared psychologically: she knows what to expect, she is not afraid.
Peculiarities
At the beginning of pregnancy, there may be a feeling that nothing new will happen, but in reality this is not the case. Repeated delivery, as a rule, is easier and faster, because the body has already memorized the main stages and has managed to prepare for them in advance. future mommy she is calm, already knows how to behave correctly, what breathing should be like during contractions, she will not worry, which eliminates the mistakes that were made when the first child was born.
How are they different from the first
Judging by the reviews, the current next pregnancies does without severe toxicosis and the baby is born much faster. This is due to the fact that the body has already managed to adapt to what is happening, and the uterus and abdominal muscles are stretched by the first child. The fact that the lady is waiting for the second replenishment of the family can be seen already at the 16th week of pregnancy - the tummy is growing faster, the expectant mother is gaining weight more rapidly. The second child is born larger and larger than the first, because the mother's body already knows how much vitamins and nutrients need to be supplied to the baby.
Approximately at 18-21 weeks, the movements of the baby can be clearly distinguished. In addition, the stomach will be lower than the first time. This will lead to the fact that the urge to go to the toilet will bother you especially often, and your back will get tired more. However, even in such a situation, you can find advantages - it will become easier to breathe, there will be no such problems with digestion as last time. When re-pregnancy, doctors always advise wearing a light bandage.
Lighter or heavier than the first
The cervix during the second birth is more elastic and softer, it opens and contracts almost simultaneously, and the attempts become more energetic. This is because the body remembers the previous birth experience. The question of whether it is easier to give birth to a second child also depends on whether there were complications after the first birth, exacerbation of chronic diseases, how much time has passed since the birth of the first child. After 10 years, the woman's body will no longer be able to remember past experience, and after undergoing gynecological operations, the cervix may lose elasticity.
What week are they giving birth
The opinion that the second child is born prematurely is not entirely correct. Normal pregnancy, regardless of the number of children available, can take up to a full 42 weeks. However, if a woman gives birth after 37 weeks, this will also be considered the norm. Everything that happens before this period is premature delivery, and after 42 weeks - belated.
How many weeks a second child is born depends on the physiology of the woman, her age and how the pregnancy went for the first time. If a woman gave birth to her first child before the date appointed by the doctors, it is likely that the situation will repeat itself. Besides, in medical practice there were cases when a woman herself set herself up for the birth of a child by a certain date, for example, for the vacation of her relatives, the arrival of her grandmother, or for her birthday.
Preparation
Today, there are many manuals, books and courses dedicated to how easy it is to give birth to a second child. They help a woman to mentally tune in, calm down, and it is easier to endure the hardships of a second pregnancy. Experts advise not to lose sight of simple everyday aspects:
- As with planning a first pregnancy, before a second conception, a woman and her partner need to undergo a complete medical examination. This item is especially important for those who decide to have a second child closer to 40 years.
- Pass blood tests - clinical, biochemical, for hormones and to establish the Rh factor. Latest Analysis especially important during the second pregnancy, because the amount of antibodies in the mother's body (if there is a Rh conflict) increases with each subsequent birth.
- If the first baby was born by caesarean section, it is important to wait for scarring soft tissue and only after that plan a second child.
How are
Duration labor activity may be different from what it was the first time. As a rule, in nulliparous women, contractions last from 6 to 11 hours. If less than 6 hours have passed from contractions to attempts, then childbirth is called fast. When a woman managed to give birth to a child in just 4 hours of torment, such labor activity is called rapid. For multiparous women, the duration is from 5 to 9 hours.
Generic activity consists of only three stages:
- Start. During this period, the first contractions appear, at first weak, then with greater intensity. During contractions, the cervix begins to open, and the mucous plug comes out. Repeated births begin more rapidly, therefore, at the first contractions, a woman needs to get ready for the hospital.
- Birth of a child. The frequency and strength of contractions increases - they turn into attempts. By this time, the cervix should open as much as possible so as to let the baby through itself.
- The birth of the placenta as the final stage. If labor activity has passed with complications or the placenta has not come out completely, the doctor will manual cleaning, and if there are gaps, sutures will be applied.
How does the second birth begin?
A woman who already has children may anticipate the birth of a second child in advance. There is no way to explain this scientifically, but it is generally accepted that this is how the body gives her time to prepare. The first sign will always be contractions. Primiparas have so-called training contractions: they begin in advance, at 37-38 weeks, and do not last long. For second-borns, this process is not typical, so any pain indicates the onset of labor.
How long do contractions last
The uterus has a neck, which has two narrowings: inside - the internal pharynx and into the vagina - the external pharynx. During contractions, these entrances begin to expand in turn: first the one inside, then the outside. If a primiparous full disclosure uterus lasts about 10-12 hours, then repeated births will take place more rapidly - in 6-7 hours. When the cervix is fully dilated, the main task women - to push to help the child quickly pass the birth canal.
How long does the second birth last
Attempts are, in fact, a contraction of the muscles of the muscles abdominals. When the pressure amniotic fluid disappears, the baby's body relaxes, and he begins to move through the birth canal. The memory of the body helps a woman give birth faster - attempts become more effective, the fetus moves out faster. If it can take up to an hour and a half for the primogeniture, then the time of the repeated process is reduced to at least 40 minutes.
How is the second birth with a small difference
For successful conception, bearing and safe birth of a child, it takes some time to replenish the reserve reserves of the body from trace elements and vitamins, restore menstruation and hormonal levels. It is desirable that the second pregnancy and childbirth occur no earlier than 2.5 years after the birth of the first child. A shorter period of time is fraught with the risk of fetal prematurity up to 38 weeks and other complications:
- A short pause can be complicated by anemia, which will lead to a developmental pathology of the baby, slow dialing weight.
- After natural blood loss, there is a high probability that iron deficiency occurs in the mother's body. As a result, this leads to weak labor or postpartum inflammatory processes in the pelvic organs.
- If, due to a lack of vitamins, the blood supply to the placenta is disturbed, the child may receive less oxygen, and this is fraught with hypoxia.
- In addition, at incomplete recovery uterus, especially if previous births passed with structural changes in the tissues, there is a high risk of miscarriage on early dates pregnancy.
Possible Complications
However, even properly planned repeated births can be completely unpredictable and not go according to the planned scenario. Repeated children have:
- Breaks. May appear due to scarring from previous births. If the previous labor activity was normal, then the risk of getting ruptures is minimal. As a preventive measure, doctors recommend that pregnant women go in for sports, eat food, rich in vitamins and fiber.
- Bleeding. Risk of occurrence postpartum hemorrhage on repeated births much more than after the birth of the first child. The reason for this is insufficient contraction of the uterus.
- hemolytic disorder. This difficulty is encountered when the pregnant woman is Rh negative and the husband is positive. Complications are rare during the first conception, but subsequent pregnancies increase the risk of a problem due to the fact that a woman's body begins to produce more and more antibodies.
C-section
To determine the method of delivery, women who have already given birth by caesarean section are hospitalized at 36-38 weeks of pregnancy. Such actions help doctors monitor the subsequent course of pregnancy more closely and have time to provide emergency assistance. It is possible to give birth on your own after a caesarean section, but only if following conditions:
- only one C-section in the anamnesis of the woman in labor;
- previous births and postpartum period passed without complications;
- the scar on the uterus is functionally sound, completely healed and does not bleed;
- the fetus has a headache, not breech presentation;
- the weight of the child does not exceed 3.6 kg;
- the pregnant woman does not chronic diseases, infections or fungus on birth canal;
- the woman has not crossed the threshold of childbearing age.
When to plan a second pregnancy
Experts recommend not to rush to re-conceive, to let the body get stronger and gain strength: correct hormonal background, menstrual cycle, make stocks of essential nutrients, normalize work nervous system. According to the WHO, a full recovery should take at least two and a half years. For this rehabilitation period, especially if a woman in labor is breastfeeding, you need to carefully monitor your health, eat right and be physically active.
Too much a big difference also not desirable. If more than 7-10 years have passed from the time of the first conception to the second pregnancy, gynecologists again consider such women to be first-born. During this time, the body managed to forget everything, and you will have to prepare for childbirth again. In addition, years do not add health. After 35-40 years, a woman accumulates more and more chronic diseases, bad habits, because of which the pregnancy itself proceeds with unforeseen complications: severe preeclampsia, the threat of miscarriage, genetic abnormalities fetal development.
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Becoming a mother is a noble thing, and becoming mother of many children simply the limit of perfection for a woman. But how not to miscalculate with the birth of a second baby? After all, it’s not just a toy to buy or a kitten to have, there is another “small load” here, you still need to do it meaningfully, and not after the test showed pregnancy or the gynecologist confirmed it to you. Although, this is of course a personal matter. But what doctors just advise about this, what they recommend paying attention to.Having a baby is a wrong expression, because the baby is not a bird and a pet. It will be correct "when it is better to give birth to the second child". They give birth to dogs, parrots and Zhiguli, and still try to take out the baby, give birth and educate. But anyway, what are the main criteria to choose for planning and what doctors, psychologists and gynecologists - obstetricians say:
- Health.
- Psycho-emotional state.
- Age of first child.
- Desire of a second spouse.
- Living conditions.
Maternal health
It doesn't have to be perfect, the main thing is that it should be consistently strong. If an already established mother has acquired postpartum complications chronic form, then after the second birth they can bring more more problems. When planning a baby, be sure to be examined at least for yourself and consult a doctor, otherwise an unauthorized decision can only harm both the child and the mother. In addition, if the mother had complications such as:- purulent endometritis.
- chronic hemorrhoids.
- chronic enuresis.
- ruptures in the uterine cavity, which were in a state of necrosis of epidermal cells.
- chronic candidiasis.
- chronic trichomoniasis and other STD infections.
- acute pyelonephritis during pregnancy.
- hepatitis.
- Heart arythmy.
- eye diseases (glaucoma, myopia of the last degree of severity).
- varicose veins (meaning a severe degree).
- too big weight(obesity leads to endocrinia).
Psycho-emotional state
Postpartum depression, as a rule, is a phenomenon that occurs in almost every mother. And to cope with it is not easy, it requires strength and patience. Therefore, before giving birth to a second baby, you will sit with your husband or mother for a while and remember “do you remember how it was”, “do you remember my tantrums” and compare your moral abilities with whether you can bear it all again. After all, now you will have a double job - the first baby already exists and he also needs a mother. Sometimes women have a second baby because they got pregnant, and then they start thinking "why did I do this." And there are many such facts. The child is very exhausting female body not only physically, but even more physically. But, nevertheless, if you compared all the pros and cons, and the side was taken "for", be sure to give birth. Did our mothers pull us out somehow?Age of firstborn
Babies are very jealous of their mother. And when the second child appears, they may even arise if not constant tantrums, then the closure in itself and hidden resentment. After all, my mother does not pay much attention to me anymore, but this little one gets everything. And you should choose an age, if not the weather (2-3) years difference, then about 6-9 years. Be sure to prepare the baby, and on the contrary, he will help you. Daughters especially like to do this, for them the baby is like living doll. Girls at 6-8 years old calmly change diapers and can perfectly wash the dishes after themselves and look after the baby while mom sleeps a little. And in no case do not say the phrase "what are you, now there is a baby, and you are already an adult / me", this will lead to a deep resentment, both for you and for the baby. Be sure to kiss and hug the older child, praise and thank for the help.
Desire for a second spouse
If you think that it is easy for him because he did not give birth, you are wrong: - lack of intimacy
- crazy wife
- various complications (just have time to call an ambulance)
- saving a wife (constant trips to the hospital)
- again no intimacy
- baby cries all the time (colic, hungry)
- no sleep
- work like hell
- much less attention from his wife.
Housing and financial opportunities
This is perhaps important question. When planning a second child, you first carefully consider whether you can give him a normal future in the future, or for the time being it is better to wait and save up some money. Also, kids of different sexes, growing up, require different rooms, especially teenagers, otherwise some problems may begin. In addition, if you live in a one-room apartment, but really want a second baby, maybe it makes sense to think about a small private house. In our time, it is difficult to raise a child alone, not to mention two, but there are no insurmountable tasks. Good luck in this difficult but happy business! 25.02.2019 11:27 2417
03.02.2017
and lives next door the large family. they have 11 children, all relatives, with a difference of several years. They are so friendly, they all walk in single file. And every time they meet a new family member, it's a huge holiday for them)
02.02.2017
I am the second child in the family, the age difference with my sister is 7 years. Never been friends, always got it from my sister. I, in turn, constantly complained about her to my parents and gave out all her secrets. Of course, as I got older, everything changed. She already has two children, with a difference in age of 3 years. Constantly together, one after another, but they no longer want a third, they say, they say, they and the two are fine. And if mom and dad bring Lyalya, then they will give it to their grandmother)))
02.02.2017
we are 10 years apart. also beat me on the sly. jealous, I daddy's favorite was, she knew. my mother did not plan me, but she loved, of course, also spoiled me, and my sister said, "let's sell it." grown up nothing has changed. at the age of 10, I gave a rebuff for the first time and a concrete one, I whipped a 20-year-old tall one well in the muzzle. didn't climb after that. we are not friends with her at all. we live in different cities and we don't even talk. I asked my mother why. and she shrugged her shoulders, they say make peace when you grow up. I'm already 29 and she's 39 and I don't even know how she lives. yes, I'm not interested. maybe just mom really had to prepare her somehow ... I don’t even know.
The birth of the 2nd baby is serious decision. The state fully supports mothers and fathers planning the appearance of a second, third and subsequent children. However, in addition to nationwide assistance, regional programs have been developed. Let's analyze what payments are due at the birth of a second child.
federal benefits
Payments upon the appearance of the 2nd baby, fixed in Russian regulations, practically coincide with those due at the birth of the first.
- On federal level provided cash payments for registration of a pregnant woman in antenatal clinic in the first trimester, produced at the place of official employment of the mother (or in the department of social protection - for non-working mothers who have the status of unemployed and registered in the health insurance system).
- The state guarantees lump sum payments which represent payment maternity leave lasting 140 days with normal course labor activity (156 days, if the birth of the baby took place with complications; 194 days, if a caesarean section was performed or 2, 3 or more children were born at the same time).
The amount of such payments is calculated in accordance with the average salary and is 100% of the average monthly amount for 2 recent years. If a woman is unemployed, then payments are provided in the amount of the minimum wage (as of 2017). They are also produced if the baby was stillborn or died shortly after birth.
To get maternity, a young mother submits papers no later than six months after the end of the decree. Within ten days after the delivery of the papers, benefits are accrued, and money can be received on the day when wages are paid at the woman's place of work. - IN Russian Federation provided at a time 16350.33 rubles. (data of 2017) for the birth of a child, which is received by the mother, father or any person who officially replaces the mother. Working parents are paid by the employer, and non-working parents are paid by the committee social protection in accordance with the prescription. This assistance also extends to foster parents.
Such allowance is accrued no later than six months after the appearance of the newborn, and it must be paid within 10 days from the date the documents were submitted. - The state guarantees benefits for a second child up to one and a half years old, made at the place of employment of the mother (or the person officially replacing her) and amounting to 40% of the average salary for the previous 2 years.
Important! If there is already one baby for whom monthly benefits are accrued up to 1.5 years, and the mother is expecting a second one, then she can count on either continuing payments of monthly amounts up to 1.5 years of the first or maternity leave for the second. Both of these benefits are not paid at the same time!
- By federal law provided monthly payments for care up to 3 years in the amount of 50 rubles at the place of employment of the mother or the person replacing her.
- If the amount of income per family member is insufficient (less than the subsistence level), the family may apply for child benefits until the minor reaches 16 years of age.
These payments are available through Pension Fund Russian Federation after registering a newborn and use it to pay for the baby's food in preschool. Also, you can improve living conditions, provide a pension ( funded part) the mother of the child, or to educate any of the children in the family, if he is not more than 25 years old and he is studying in the state educational organization Russian Federation. The recipient is the mother or her legal substitute.
Regional (governor's) allowances
Regional payments for the second child in the family are made by decision of a particular subject of the Russian Federation. They are charged in addition to federal.
For example, "baby money" for babies from low-income families children under the age of 16 may be increased by local authorities by 50% or 100% compared to federal payments for single mothers.
A number of regions provide financial assistance by decision of the Governor upon the birth of the 2nd newborn or subsequent:
- in the Kaluga region, the amount of payments for the birth of a second child is 2,200 rubles at a time;
- in the Kursk region - monthly up to three years for 2000 rubles. on the 2nd and 3000 r. on the 3rd;
- in the Vladimir region at a time 3300 rubles. on the 2nd, at the birth of twins - 11000, at the birth of triplets - 16500 rubles;
- in the Penza region - a lump sum of 10,000 rubles;
- in the Khanty-Mansiysk Autonomous Okrug - a lump sum of 10,000 rubles;
- in the Nizhny Novgorod region - at a time 25,000 rubles;
- in the Sakhalin region - a one-time gubernatorial payment of 150,000 rubles. on the second and all subsequent ones, etc.
By decision of the administration of the region, in which unfavorable demographic statistics are noted, regional maternity (family) capital may be accrued in addition to the federal one.
St. Petersburg: material support for families with a second child
In St. Petersburg, on the basis of the Social Code approved in 2011, a wide range of benefits are provided, which are transferred to special plastic cards, the funds from which can be spent exclusively on "children's" needs.
In St. Petersburg, funds are allocated for food for pregnant and lactating women.
Much attention is paid in the northern capital to supporting families where the child has a disability or belongs to the category of children with handicapped health. For such categories, funds are provided for the acquisition technical means rehabilitation and other benefits.
The government of St. Petersburg provides material support to the low-income or incomplete families with a second baby, military personnel, families with adopted children who are in difficult life situation, refugees, etc.
