How to instill leadership qualities in your daughter. How to grow a leader? Leader can speak

Raising a child leader is becoming fashionable in our time. Adults who are already well over thirty often envy modern teenagers, because they were brought up in a completely different manner: at that time, obedient and diligent children were “in trend”. Active, mischievous, wayward children were ridiculed in school wall newspapers, they were laughed at, they were condemned by their peers and teachers. Modern child at ten years old, he is capable of more than other adults who were goodies at that age - to the delight of his parents.

However, some parents do not understand the upbringing of a leader child quite correctly. In their opinion, a child should, as they say, go over their heads - push their peers aside, humiliate the weaker and less capable, and prove their superiority by force. In fact, such a "leader" will make a repulsive impression. The true task of a leader is to captivate, to be an authority (not in the criminal sense, of course!), to set an example by their behavior. And before leading the team, the leader must deal with himself.

What should be taught to the future leader?

The leader must draw attention to himself. And first of all, for this you need to learn how to speak well. Many politicians, including domestic ones, gained popularity solely by the ability to speak, to convince the public. AT modern world, and not only in modern, importance has not only what a person does, but also how he presents himself. In advanced cases, it doesn’t matter at all who you are, the main thing is who you seem to be. But such cases should not be cited as an example for a child.

It is good in this connection to tell the child about Demosthenes. This ancient Greek orator, who quickly became famous, in early years He was very shy, had a weak voice and stuttered. He did not know how to speak beautifully and, in fact, few people were interested. But over the years of intense training, he corrected his speech defects, developed a loud voice and mastered oratory, as a result of which he became a real folk leader.

This story teaches not only the importance of speech, but also that you should work on your appearance in general: take care of your clothes, follow the rules of hygiene, etc. Any action should be the object of attention.

True leader not afraid of responsibility. He is the first among equals, and the whole team is judged by him (for example, about his class). However, it should not dominate the leader: it is very interesting to be the head of the class, the leader of a friendly team or the captain of the school football team.

The leader is the one to whom the other members of the group constantly turn for help, from whom they expect the decisive word, from which they take an example. Ability to resolve team issues important property a leader who cannot be neglected in any way: after all, this is the only way to maintain leadership. What did they do with presumptuous rulers, tyrants and dictators? They were overthrown and destroyed. And vice versa - the rulers who supported their people enjoyed mutual support, they stayed in power the longest, they were forgiven for some mistakes. The same thing happens, for example, in school class: students prefer to follow someone who can support or console everyone, and they will give a turn to the impudent and capricious. The team is still stronger than one person, and whoever wants to hold it in their hands must be of some use to everyone.

A leader does not have to do well in all subjects. It is enough to be good at some, and also to have some hobbies, so that with their help you can captivate people. The main thing is to “ignite” the audience with your passion, enthusiasm and excellent results, even in one activity.

Why - business, political, creative, scientific, sports - are most often done by three students? Because the excellent students are “sprayed” on all subjects and as a result are not able to understand any of them at the “above standard” level; in addition, "nerds" break away from the team and its urgent needs, they are often unsociable, have too high opinion About Me. And C students learn the main subjects at the average level, plus some - at the "exceptional" level, with their help they attract attention to themselves.

Leadership qualities are not necessarily associated with constant success: you need to be able to lose. Don't blame your child for failures.

A failed child can evaluate his actions, figure out where he went wrong, and succeed in the future or help someone else achieve it. But this is only if you do not scold him for mistakes. A child should not be afraid of failures, because they are the basis of all knowledge: literally all of us make mistakes. Moreover, it is known that people with “innate abilities” are less likely to succeed in professions corresponding to these abilities than those who did not have any “talents” and learned everything in practice - by trial and error.

Therefore, if the child could not tell the given poem, he needs to be encouraged and consoled, he should be convinced that in next time he will do it well. So we set it up for and self-improvement.

Must accept general rules behavior. No wonder the saying goes - to lead people, you must follow them.

There is one more thing: they don’t go to someone else’s monastery with their charter. Infiltrating the team, any newcomer will initially be subordinate, even if he immediately attracted someone's attention. Respect for generally accepted rules is respect for all members of the team, and without this respect it is impossible to become a real leader. By maintaining the general rules, you can quickly become “one of your own” in the team, and this is also important step on the way to leadership: a suspicious outsider will never be trusted by the public.

And most importantly: a true leader is an independent person, accustomed to achieving everything himself.

Freedom of action is something that many of our children lack. After all, it is traditionally believed that a child is a dependent being and in need of comprehensive care. Of course, in the earliest years, constant care is more or less justified, because the baby does not even know how to walk independently. However, as he grows older, he experiences an increasing need for independent action. If it is not satisfied, the need disappears and is replaced by complete dependence on others, primarily parents. " sissy"In no case will he grow up as a leader, because by nature he is used to obeying. It can only be a zealous executor of the parental will, but not a leader or authority.

It is curious that the concept of "child" has changed its meaning over time. In ancient times and in the Middle Ages, a person of 12-13 years old was considered quite an adult; he had the right to marry, he could rule a city or a state, command an army, etc. In those days, people were much more independent in their thinking, despite the dominance of religious ideology. Nowadays, international law officially considers a person under the age of 21 to be a child, although certain “adult” rights are available from the age of 14: in some countries, from this age it is allowed to marry, drive a car, purchase real estate and get a job, in our country a passport is issued . And if unofficially, then “in everyday life” a child is often considered a person under 30 years old, or even higher. So, in organizations elderly boss ignores the opinion of a “young” 30-year-old employee, since he is not yet “grown up”. It also became popular eternal child» as a type of personality, which up to old age has fun, plays and has a romantic-naive character. Aphorisms like: "The first forty years of childhood are the most difficult for a boy" became commonplace.

All of this is rooted in education. Children who are not accustomed to independence are simply afraid to perform independent actions, and if they do, they do it awkwardly, unsuccessfully and quickly become disillusioned with "adult" life. It is clear that in adult life such people are very rarely leaders, leaders, and even "ringleaders" in a friendly company.

How to teach a child to be independent?

First, he should spend as much time as possible outside the home, away from his parents. Kindergarten, sandbox, friends in the yard - in all these situations, the child is faced with an unfamiliar society and environment in which he has to learn to navigate. Success in such an environment depends only on his own actions, so in it leadership skills best formed. From time to time it is necessary to change the environment - to transfer the child to another kindergarten, to take him to another park or another sandbox; he quickly gets used to the same situation, and the ability to act independently decreases.

Over time, the kindergarten and the sandbox are replaced by a school, as well as children's sports sections, creative circles and clubs. You should consult with the child and push him to determine what he wants more and, most importantly, how he can realize it himself. He can choose interests and hobbies for himself only, in no case with the help of his mother, grandmother or older brother; and only he himself can choose a circle or section.

Leadership and Economics

Such “global” phenomena as the success of the country in the economy are also associated with the upbringing of children-leaders. If the inhabitants of the country are accustomed to leadership and independence from a young age, then in the future we can expect the emergence of a generation of responsible organizers, entrepreneurs, and leaders.

Why are the countries of Western Europe and Southeast Asia considered exemplary in economic and political terms?

• It's simple: traditionally Europe is characterized by the upbringing of children-leaders, who in the future "will not disgrace the honor of the family." Often, at the onset of the age of 21, parents expel their children from home: they themselves have to rent an apartment, look for work, organize their life, find a girlfriend, etc. They try to prepare children for such an event in advance, and a child who has learned to show independence early will not disappear in the future. Of course, this principle is not observed everywhere and not always in the West, but common tradition exactly like that.
• Such strictness is uncharacteristic for Asian societies, where they try to take care of the child by everyone possible ways. However, the economic system of these countries is such that a child in a family is, first of all, a worker, a guarantee of the future prosperity of the family. More children means more workers. Therefore, while showing strong concern for children, in China, Korea and other countries, they are trying at the same time to instill in them a love of independence. After all, a boy in a family is a potential father of the family, which means he is the head and leader. An extensive network of social ties, characteristic of Asian society, significantly expands the concept of "family": here are numerous relatives and distant relatives, acquaintances, colleagues at work and study, bosses and subordinates, the government, spiritual mentors ... And you must strive to become the head of this entire audience - it will be better for her. The "Eastern" model of leadership is in many ways as effective as the "Western" one.
• But the countries Latin America were and remain outsiders. Not the last role in this is played by the old national tradition: children under 30 often live with their parents in order to survive economic difficulties, crisis, unemployment; such behavior is invariably welcomed by society. The same is true in countries such as Greece and Spain - the poorest and "backward" countries in Europe. There, such a phenomenon as NEET, or “no-no generation” has formed: these are young people under 30 years old (or even older) who live with their parents, do not work, do not study and do not start a family. In these countries, analysts say that the “no-no generation” has a detrimental effect on economic development: people who grew up in such conditions are incapable of any serious independent action, do not have work or scientific qualifications, and do not have leadership qualities for holding responsible positions. It is in the tradition of the Mediterranean and Latin American countries to overprotect children and not give them the opportunity to act independently. AT recent times this tradition also migrated to Western Europe, which also had a negative impact on the development of this region. A similar phenomenon - "hikikomori" - takes place in Japan. The constant calamities experienced by Greece or Spain are characteristic of our country as well. Leadership and independence in the USSR and present-day Russia are condemned and ridiculed in the upbringing of children, and in the future this principle is transferred to adulthood. "Initiative is punishable" is an expression in long years became the universal formula of life in our country. This is how the habit of obeying and pleasing is formed, and all kinds of swindlers, criminals and foreign agents who are above the law and traditions and therefore “know the truth” invariably take leadership over the “herd”.

Therefore, the upbringing of child leaders will benefit not only the children themselves, but also the country as a whole.

Oddly enough, but it depends on a loving mother how her son will grow up - responsible for himself and his family, or remaining a sissy until old age.

The boy should be supported and given the opportunity to take the initiative. Thus he will gain an understanding of his inner worth as a spiritual being. He should develop a healthy approach to life based on such virtues as honesty, respect, kindness and compassion.

In adolescence, a boy needs discipline, and he will also benefit from some kind of social work(even military service may be useful) or some kind of charitable, religious activity.

It is especially important to be with the boy in nature so that he can acquire the skill of interacting with the natural world. Hiking, hiking, gardening, contact with plants, stones and stars will broaden his horizons and make him more sensitive to life in general, because it includes the study of not only ecology, but also traditional spirituality.

How earlier mom will begin to encourage the "male" actions of his son, the better. This is especially important when the boy goes through periods of so-called age crises development:

“crisis of three years”, when the personality of the child is laid and he becomes too independent, naughty and even aggressive;

school readiness crisis cognitive activity focuses on the subject and information development of the world;

and a very important "crisis adolescence”, when “blood ferments”, and study recedes into the background.

It must be understood that during these critical periods, the boy's self-esteem is especially unstable.

Firstly, at the beginning of each crisis, your son enters a new sphere for himself, and this is always disturbing.

Secondly, competition between boys is intensifying (“who is stronger”, “who will spit or pee further”, “which dad has a bigger car”), which reaches its maximum among teenagers (“who is cooler”). There's nothing to be done, that's how nature created us. Girls also have competitive relationships, but they are much smoother.

Especially valuable for almost any boy will be the compliments made by his mother about his physical strength. "Well done! You are my real man! You are just like dad - a real master! I'm proud of you! With you, I'm not afraid in a thunderstorm! Wow, you are so strong, I had no idea! You are so brave! I believe in you!" These and similar words, spoken with appropriate expression, will never lose their magic power, even when your little "bunny" has already grown. Don't skimp on them.

Probably, it would not be worth mentioning that a mother should teach her son useful skills: sew a button, wash dishes, boil potatoes, sweep the floor. A real man should be able to do everything - a mother should lay this idea to her son from childhood. Of course, the actions of the pope can be the best confirmation of it. But if, due to circumstances, dad is only good at talking on the phone and working on a computer, then you can tell your son that the best fashion designers and tailors are men, that the vast majority of chefs in restaurants are also men.

By the way, mom may well involve her son in cooking. Just do not entrust him with uninteresting and dirty work. Try to turn everything into a creative and exciting game without forgetting to follow safety precautions. “What else would you add to the soup?” “Do you think there is enough salt?” “Listen, can I rely on your nose? Please select the spices for the chicken according to your taste. “Here, you can mold anything from this piece of dough, and then we will put it in the oven.” “And who will open a can of food for me?”

Anything can happen in life, and if you are raising your son alone, then try to provide him with the maximum possible male influence- your father, brother or any other authoritative man for the boy. Nothing to do about, male society is necessary condition for the normal formation of the boy's psyche. And yet - whatever your relationship with the father of the child, never tell your son anything negative about him ...

The mother should, as early as possible, accustom her son to a particularly respectful and attentive attitude to himself and to women in general, thereby forming a male self-awareness in him. The boy must be taught not only to care for and help girls and women, but also to look after them, to clearly and beautifully show their normal male feelings. In addition, the mother must remember that, just like the father for the girl, so the mother for the boy is the first and most important object of the opposite sex that he meets in his life. The image of the mother is firmly imprinted in his subconscious, updated and enriched as the son grows up, and then, when the boy becomes a young man, this image will play a significant role in choosing his life partner. That is why a mother should constantly monitor her appearance so that her son at any time can confirm the original truth: his mother is the most beautiful.

Leader - boy, has a male leadership position, that is, the boy tries to achieve his goals, through his perseverance, perseverance. He achieves his goal, no matter how hard it is for him.

Your task is to help your son find his unique individuality as early as possible and realize it.

Expensive caring mothers If you really want the best for your child, if you want your son to respect you not only as a mother, but also as an interesting person, then think more about yourself, work on yourself, grow up with your son. Mom is the most necessary and noble profession in the world. But at the same time, do not forget about other professions, that you not only have the right to your realization in other areas, but this is your duty precisely in order to be full-fledged mother to his son. If you are happy in your personal and professional life, you will never make a "mama's boy" out of your son.

What parent today does not dream of developing leadership qualities in a child? Probably only a very few. After all, these qualities help to achieve in life what gives happiness and success.

And we sincerely believe that everyone can become a leader - you just need to learn how to raise a child as a leader, and apply some in his upbringing.

Is it really?

Leadership leadership strife?

Thinking about how to raise a leader, parents most often have no idea what it is. The child is naughty, demands "I want!" - moms and dads are happy to believe that they have a growing leader. Takes away other people's toys and shows aggression? "He's just a leader!" - Parents justify his behavior.

But if parents do not have a clear understanding of what true leadership is, they will not avoid confusion about desires and results. So, for some, instead of a leader, a capricious creature will grow up, who is used to achieving everything with tantrums. And for others - aggressive teenager, who does not at all look like a leader, but treats his family and loved ones with his behavior.

Where to get this clear idea? Personally, I received it only after trainings on systems-vector psychology Yuri Burlan. Before that, like many others, I was torn apart by contradictions, I drew conclusions based on personal experience and observations. I looked at my child and thought: “Well, who are you? Who does he look like? What will you be when you grow up? And how can I raise you leader ?»

I didn't know then what a surprise nature had given me.

Who is called a leader? The one who leads a group of people, who enjoys authority in this group. Someone who knows how to influence others.

In system-vector psychology, a leader is a representative skin vector. Its description is too voluminous for me to list all its features in one article, but some must be mentioned.

Skinners have a flexible body and a flexible mind. In everything they prefer logic, they are concise and easy to communicate. A person with a skin vector experiences an internal need for control, restriction, prohibition. He knows how and loves to save money, as well as control both himself and others. The skinner has high adaptive abilities and quickly finds mutual language with other people. Compete, strive to be the first - his natural desire which allows him to become a leader. As well as the need for financial success and well-being.

But these are adults. What about children? What are they? What will be the characteristics of the leader's child?

In many ways the same, but with their own characteristics. Above is a portrait of a developed person with a skin vector, and before becoming one, he needs to go through several stages of development - from birth to puberty. And a lot will depend on how smoothly they go - up to whether your baby becomes a leader, realizing his natural potential, or not.

Here, probably, the time has come to talk about how to make a leader out of a child. But I want to give an example personal experience which you might find useful.

When I was trained in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan, my son was about 3 years old. Already at the lecture on the skin vector, I began to recognize my son in many of Yuri's descriptions. But in full measure, skin qualities manifested themselves over time - when the child got into the children's team.

I was worried about how he would adapt to kindergarten, because he always liked to sit in his mother's arms. By the way, the baby loves from birth tactile contact: calms down after stroking, if very excited, asks to scratch his back before going to bed. All this is also evidence of the presence of a skin vector.

So, there were no problems with adaptation: the child quickly joined the team, although before that he had no experience of communicating with other children. Watching him from the side, I realized that the difficulties in approaching unfamiliar child he does not feel at all: he is the first to start a dialogue without preambles and scraping, quickly adjusting to the interests of his peer.

This ability to quickly adapt, change one's mind or position depending on the situation is a son's bright skin trait, a characteristic of a leader's child. Mom doesn't want to play cars with him? Okay, we have more puzzles, Stuffed Toys, coloring books - let mom choose what she likes. Grandma forbids watching cartoons? Okay, no problem, let Grandma read something out loud then.

The child does not remember and does not accumulate any grievances. Even before the training, I was worried: what if he would be as touchy as I was in childhood? And she was sincerely surprised that the baby was not at all offended if his mother forbade him something. I remember that I expected for quite a long time that he would remember all his grievances, but now I only smile at these memories: I judged the child through myself, not realizing that he does not by nature have such a “mechanism”, the need and ability to be offended.

It is very important for a son to do everything quickly. But not just fast, but the fastest. Who was the first to eat their lunch in the garden? Of course my child. Who was the first to draw a house on the instructions of the teacher? Naturally, he is. Who was the first to climb the steps to the door of the apartment after the walk? He.

If, thanks to the training, I did not understand why it is so fundamentally important for my son to do everything first, I would definitely try to re-educate him. No matter how it sounds, but I honestly admit it to myself: I would try to remake it, change its nature. Why? Not out of malice, of course. But because I myself like to do everything in turn, in order, and certainly not on the run.

Before, I would have been indignant: “Who eats so fast? Why is it the fastest to draw? After all, in drawing, speed is not important, but a high-quality final result! Why run around the porch, scare the neighbors? Now I smile, looking at how my child gradually develops in his desire to be the first, in his desire to become a leader, successful and realized.

Can I help him with this? Still would. I use the knowledge gained at the training in system-vector psychology (and when I forget something, I go through it again, especially since the lecture on the skin vector is free). And then, knowing how to raise a leader from my baby, I put this knowledge into practice.

My parenting methods

What am I doing?

Firstly, I do not prevent him from satisfying his natural needs. He wants to do everything quickly, do you want some kind of competition? All this is in every game (in reasonable quantities).

I see that the baby has a great need to negotiate everything? Very good: we will agree on everything and act strictly according to plan. For example, every evening after kindergarten, we agree that first he does exercises, then plays on the tablet (games are only as a reward for some beneficial actions), after which he has dinner, and before going to bed he listens to a fairy tale (the list is approximate). By the way, the child performs exercises himself without persuasion and blackmail. It only happens that he sometimes forgets about her, but what can you take from a skin child who “fell in one ear and flew out the other.”

Secondly, I don’t put pressure on him with my opinion and views that I have passed through myself, because I know how to grow a leader. I don’t force him to sit for hours at books and albums, I don’t require him to write out every scribble in copybooks, I don’t force him to any activity that is contrary to skin nature. I am absolutely calm and normal about the fact that a training session can get boring for him quite quickly - and I do not insist on continuing it. At the same time, the child constantly surprises me with his ability to quickly memorize material.

Thirdly, I develop his innate abilities. So, I know skinners are potentially excellent mathematicians and logicians. And this is confirmed in practice: the son quite easily adds and subtracts in his mind at the age of 5. It all started with counting the steps during the very running around that I wrote about above. And although children do not like to perform difficult tasks(and my son is no exception), with the gradual complication of tasks, the result will quickly surprise and delight you. You just need to remember to add creativity to the tasks so that something new regularly appears in them.

• Even more theory on raising a leader in the article: “Nimble child. Secrets of parenting with skin vector"

The development of abilities refers not only to mathematics and logic: it is important to accustom a child with a skin vector to discipline, regimen, sports, help him develop the ability to control himself (and then others) - all this will also help educate a leader.

A child with a skin vector needs sports very much - otherwise he will rush around the apartment, knocking down everything in his path, filling himself with bruises and bumps. Sport organizes it and will allow to develop not only the body, but also many natural qualities.

Fourthly, in the course of education, I use incentives and rewards that are suitable specifically for children with a skin vector. In the case of boys, material gifts will serve well here.

For example, we gave our son a tablet, which he was very happy with, but with the condition that he would play on it mainly in games for development. logical thinking. In his favorite races, which develop only reaction speed (however, the sport of a skin specialist develops it much better), he plays in a dosed manner.

Fifthly, I competently punish if he is guilty of something. The most precise punishment for leather workers is a restriction in space (put in a corner or not let out into the street) and in time (for example, to ban cartoons for a couple of days). All other options do not work or bring only harm.

It is imperative that the skin specialist needs to demonstrate the benefits of some kind of occupation. So, quite by chance, not hoping for positive result, I once suggested to a child (he was 4 years old) to learn to read, as he constantly asked for help from adults while playing games on the computer. The child realized that if he learns to read, he will be able to play faster, and the process will be more interesting. Bottom line: after three months he was reading by syllables, and after six months - relatively fluently and meaningfully.

These are far from all the ways that allow you to make a leader out of a child and educate him. developed person. Perhaps after training in system-vector psychology you will be able to invent new ones. Sign up for the next free lecture on the skin vector and find your own methods for educating leadership skills in children.

The article was written based on the materials of trainings on systems-vector psychology Yuri Burlan

Child leader: psychological features and education

Raising a leader child requires parents to special approach. How to identify leadership inclinations the baby and how should parents act, given his psychological characteristics?

Sometimes you can see how one child manages to involve all the others in the game. “Well, the leader is growing”, “He will definitely become your president” - such phrases are often heard by the parents of a child leader.

Leadership or uncontrollability?

In general, in modern society Leadership is an approved and sought-after trait. Leadership It's almost synonymous with success. "We educate leaders" - such a slogan can often be heard in "advanced" kindergartens, schools, and various youth organizations. But even a born leader, until he turned 18, is, first of all, still a child. This means that he needs to be educated, to help him find ways of development. positive qualities and learn how to use them for the benefit of yourself and others.

1. One of the common pitfalls is that parents of child leaders sometimes feel weak in some way. own child and consciously, or refuse the educational function in relation to him. Meanwhile, every child needs authorities, role models.
2. Commanding tone, not only among peers, but also in the family circle, self-will, stubbornness, aggression in response to any restrictions - such behavior is often confused with leadership and is called manifestations of a strong character. And then the parents, although they suffer from such behavior of the child, but deep down they are proud of the strength of character, relaxedness and energy of their offspring.
3. If the child manages to achieve what he wants in this way, and he also sees tacit approval, the method is fixed.

The main problem is that, unlike true leadership, such pseudo-leadership actually means the complete lack of independence of the child. Why be able to do something yourself, if everything will be done for you ?!

The ability to get along with people is one of the essential qualities of a leader.

How to find the real leadership inclinations?

1. The leader does not act with tantrums and orders. A child-leader knows how to lure other children into the game, correctly explain the rules, is not afraid of responsibility, conflicts. He seems to be doing nothing special, but somehow stands out among others, attracting to himself.
2. A true leader is a leader everywhere. If the child “builds” everyone at home, and in kindergarten prefers to remain silent, most likely, this is just a way of interacting with parents, and not a personality trait of the baby.
3. The child leader has special style thinking, inclined to plan, calculate various options, and this can manifest itself as early as 3-4 years.
4. The child-leader is independent, does not wait for adults to decide something for him, he can organize the game himself, occupy himself with something.
5. As a rule, small leaders are excellent observers: interest in behavioral patterns and human relations they show up early. A child leader is able to convince peers, for example, to give away cars, but not by cunning, but on the basis of a benefit for another kid.
6. AT children's team the child leader often takes on the functions of a "judge", a mediator in resolving various conflicts.
   “In our kindergarten, all the guys quarrel about who should get up first when we go to physical education, push each other, swear!” - tells mom four year old. “Are you also arguing and cursing?” Mom asks. "No, I tell them who should go first and why!" the child answers. "And they listen to you?" Mom is surprised. “Of course, I tell them everything correctly,” the child leader replies.

How should parents act?

1. First of all, consistency is important. If you tell your child: “Don’t you dare order me,” and an hour later you boast to your girlfriend that your son has “ strong character”, be sure that next time he will show his “character” even brighter.
2. You yourself must be aware of the line and explain it to the child. Knowing how to achieve your own is good, but you need to be able to choose methods for this that do not infringe or offend others. A true leader is one who reaches the top not at the expense of others, but together with them. It is important to develop in the child leader responsibility for the team, the value of a common cause, and not one's own ambitions.
3. It is very important for parents of a child with leadership inclinations to help their child find a business in which he will express himself. For some, sports become such a thing, for another, a school scientific society, for a third, the organization of graduation. school newspaper etc. Leadership inclinations that cannot be realized often gnaw at the child from the inside, turning into envy, vanity, jealousy for the success of others.
4. Children-leaders are often very sensitive to evaluations of their activities, painfully perceive criticism, mistakes and failures. It is very important from an early age to teach a child to perceive criticism as an incentive for development, mistakes as lessons, and failures as inevitable. side effect on the way to the goal.
5. As old-fashioned as it may sound, the parents of a child leader need to be given Special attention education of value orientations and ideas about morality and morality in a child. You are growing a personality capable of leading others, and it is very important where exactly.

Child psychologists have developed a wonderful formula: tell your baby no more than three “no” per day, and for each of them three “you can”.

1. Look closely at who the child chooses as his idols, "villains" or "noble heroes", the fact is that in "villainy" leadership is usually more obvious and obvious. So, for example, during the popularity of the series "Brigada", I, while working at school, observed how in many classes - from the 3rd to the 11th - the boy leaders began to imitate the main character of this film, the criminal, copying his language, adopting values. The image of a person around whom others revolve and obey him was very bright and attractive.

And here is what the mother of a third-grader tells about the peculiarities of raising her child-leader.

“My son has always shown a penchant for leadership, ever since kindergarten. In the class, he is the headman, the guys listen to him. And just recently there was such an episode. A boy from another school came to their class, and because he was new and had some other external shortcomings, they, as often happens, began to “spread rot” in the class. Some of the guys began to taunt him, arrange evil jokes. My son, talking about this, was very worried. He said that he felt sorry for the boy, but he was afraid that if he did not participate in the common undertaking, he would lose his authority. For quite some time we discussed that this is exactly the case when he can use his authority in the class for a good cause. This, of course, is more difficult, but this way he will respect himself more. We talked for several evenings in a row. Needless to say, things ended well. As soon as the son expressed his position in the class, many children immediately joined him, who were afraid to do it themselves. Those arguments that we picked up with him helped, he took the newcomer under his wing. I think he's proud of himself."

Leadership is a responsibility, it is important that the child understands this.

child leader at home

How to communicate with a small leader at home?

He has his own view of everything around, seeks to help or advise. It is clear that you cannot limit the child to your desires and needs, he needs space for thoughts, decisions and actions. But on the other hand, a parent always remains a parent, and this, in essence, is a leadership role. So there is a contradiction...

1. In any case, the child must recognize the authority of the parent
   It's best to come up with the next compromise. It is worth discussing difficult situations with the child on an equal footing, giving him the opportunity to prove himself and argue his position. The final decision in difficult situations should be left to the parent. For example, a child insists on watching a movie on TV late at night with you. Let him explain what interested him - the film itself or the opportunity to stay longer with his parents. So you can offer alternatives(“Tomorrow we will find this film on the Internet and watch it in daytime"). And then firmly say that now he is going to bed, because he must comply with the regime. You can explain to a child who is painfully aware that you decide for him: “When you grow up, you will also be responsible for your family.”
2. try soallocate tasks and responsibilitiesso that the child has an area for which he is fully responsible and makes decisions.
   For example, the duty of a preschooler may be to dust the apartment. It is important to give him the opportunity to draw up a schedule for such cleaning himself, to choose a “tool of labor”. You will only occasionally check the quality of work, but not interfere with the process itself. With age, the area of ​​\u200b\u200bresponsibility needs to be expanded. By the way, this will clearly show important rule The more you know, the more you can decide for yourself. Indeed, often a child leader has ambitions that are not based on a real level of capabilities.

For example, a first-grader may demand not to control homework, but he himself will spend a lot of time playing games and watching TV and will not have time to work out properly. Then you can say: “I will not interfere in your tasks themselves until you ask, but for now we will plan your day together, you still don’t have a good sense of time and know how to organize it.”

1. Don't compete with your child.
   Sometimes parents, if they themselves are leaders by nature, unconsciously begin to arrange a home competition “Who is in charge?” It is very important to avoid this situation. What you need to teach a child leader is cooperation, and he will learn competition himself. "We are going to the cinema!" dad says. “No, let's go to the skating rink!” insists the child. And such disputes every day, their goal is often only to see who will out-argue whom. "Let `s together!" – talk to the child leader more often. Let him hear your opinion, and you hear him and make a decision together.
2. Help build relationships with siblings.
   In families with several children, competition between them is also not uncommon. It is important to find a “niche” for each of the children, where he will prove himself and become the first. One child may be an obvious leader in the exact sciences, and another in creative pursuits. Explain to the children that a true leader always seeks to help the other person in what he or she is most successful at.

Locking up a leader child within your own desires and needs is like death. He needs a field of action. On the other hand, you always remain a parent, this special role, and here, too, one should not lose one's leadership. In any case, the child should appreciate your authority and obey you, despite the fact that sometimes he has his own view of things.
Looking for a compromise. Just sit down and, with patience, discuss the problem with the child as an adult with an adult. He should feel not only trust and warmth, but also respect. I wish you SUCCESS and MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING, LOVE each other!

All parents dream of seeing their children happy and successful. To do this, they are ready to do everything in their power. How to raise a child to be a leader? What qualities should be invested in or developed in order for him to take a high place in life?

First of all, what is a leader? What do you have to be to carry this proud title?

Leaders - who are they?

All recognized leaders are united by the fact that they can lead other people. They are not afraid to take responsibility for decisions made, committed deeds. The images of leaders of different times had significant differences, but a certain inner core was always present in each of them.

Let's dive into the past for a moment. For example, in the era of antiquity, military leaders who commanded troops, won victories, defended their lands, and conquered new ones were considered recognized leaders. tactical mind and physical strength made them real heroes, capable of inflaming hearts for great deeds. But people were no less respectful of speakers who never took a sword in their hands, but knew how to direct the thoughts of listeners in the right direction.

Remember Soviet films for children. Who immediately comes to mind when you think about the image of a leader? Of course, main character films "Dagger" and "Bronze Bird" Misha Polyakov. How skillfully he led a team of guys who trusted him with all their hearts and were ready to fulfill his every request. Smart, responsible, quick-witted and, to be honest, handsome in appearance - just perfect image Soviet boy what everyone should want to be.

But often you can find a different image. A bully child who is in bad standing in kindergarten, at school. However, the rest of the kids are drawn to him. And often for him, like Petya Pyatochkin from the cartoon of the same name, it is enough just to do what the teacher wants, whom no one listens to, so that everyone else follows his example, and order is restored.

So who is this leader? And what should parents do to raise him not only successful, but also a good person?

How to see a leader in a child

Your baby is still unsteady on his feet, does not pronounce “mom” and “dad” well, but his favorite word has already become “himself”? He still runs slowly, but even crawling is always ahead? Doesn't he let you make decisions for him, even if it's something as small as a blue or red blouse for an outing, let alone a cutlet or fish for lunch?

There is no reason to panic - a small leader has appeared in your family, who is already starting to gain his position. Do not confuse a leader with a tyrant - the former will not throw tantrums and bang his head on the floor, as the latter prefers to do. The leader already knows perfectly well that everything will be as he needs it.

If your child is older, observe his behavior with peers in the nursery or sports ground. A real leader actively groups children around him, he invents games, distributes roles. But, what is very important, none of the guys usually object to this.

AT school years child leaders usually lead the whole class. It does not matter how successful their studies are. However, serious leaders rarely allow themselves to slide below the average bar.

If the child shows great promise

So, you have determined that your child has many of the above traits. How to educate a leader and not ruin his talents, because it's so easy to do it?

First of all, you need to learn to treat the child loyally. . What does it mean? Adults who are accustomed to living their measured life according to own rules, it will be very difficult to get used to the fact that now you have to reckon with the opinion little man walking freely under the table. This in no way means that from now on the child will command in the family. The task of adults is to show him that his opinion is important, that he is equal to you. Even if he is wrong in his judgments, you are old enough people to be able to prove it to him and direct him on the right path.

Show your child respect . Very often, parents tell their children that they do not respect them. But do young minds even know what it is? How will they learn this if they do not see respect for themselves. Only equality and complete trust in the family can grow a real leader, and not a soulless self-confident tyrant.

Try to talk to your child often . Yes, with the modern rhythm of life it is difficult to find time for long conversations, but this is not necessary. Talk, discuss what happened during the day, try to solve family problems- all this can be done at dinner. The child should get used to respect adults, but not be afraid of them and feel free when communicating with them. This is instilled in the family.

Independence – important thing in the life of every child, but for a leader it is vital. An attempt to shove it into a certain framework can adversely affect the psyche and character. Do not try to do everything for the child, do not turn his active nature into a passive and weak-willed person. You have a treasure in your hands, for which you need to choose a decent cut.

A responsibility

Responsibility is one of essential qualities for leaders. From childhood, a child must be clearly aware of how his word will respond. And you need to put it in early childhood Otherwise, it will be incredibly difficult to fix something later.

Imagine a person who is able to lead the masses, but is completely devoid of a sense of responsibility for his actions. This description is more suitable for a monster than for a hero with a fiery heart.

How to teach a child responsibility? Teach him to always keep promises, to think before he speaks. Make a clear daily routine with him and make sure that he clearly follows it.

Learning is a must!

Yes, a child does not have to be an excellent student in everything, but this does not mean that you can give up on studying. Parents should gently and unobtrusively push him to this thought, arouse in him a desire to become better than he already is.

Always encourage his hobbies. Any. Of course, without a criminal bias. Sports, music, singing, drawing - the choice is endless. Perhaps he will turn out to be mediocrity in all this, but the acquired skills will not go anywhere and will certainly benefit.

What definitely needs to be taught to a child is to read. Books are an inexhaustible source of information about the world, about people, about their destinies and opportunities. Choose for the child what will definitely interest him, and be sure to demonstrate by your own example how fascinating the world of literature is.

A true leader must master the art of eloquence. It is impossible to lead people without knowing how to correctly express one's own thoughts and convey them to people. Talk to the child, never refuse to listen to his reasoning, do not seek to immediately correct mistakes, let him try to deal with them. Encourage your child to start learning public speaking. It will be useful to him both in the future and in the present.

Communication

A true leader simply has to be sociable. Usually this trait is inherent in his character, you just have to develop and maintain it.

Let the child choose his own friends, let him get acquainted with a large number of people, see different tempers learning to act in different situations.

Never ask a child to stop being friends with someone, as many parents like to do. Do not show him that people are divided into worthy and unworthy for some subjective reasons.

Praise praise discord

Yes, children should be praised. In the first years of their lives, they generally do everything just to please their parents. But it is very important to observe the measure in everything, including praise.

The child should be rewarded for his efforts, but one should not express stormy delight at the slightest provocation. This reduces the value of praise, even gradually reduces it to nothing. And all the more crushing will be the blow when the chick fluttering out from under the mother's wing suddenly collides with the real world and realizes how much his stardom and genius have been overstated. "Thank you" he will definitely not tell you for this.

Keep your chin up

Failures accompany us all the time. This thought should be taught to the child in advance. But your task is not to cultivate pessimism in him.

In fact, failure should be perceived correctly and learn from it. This is not a tragedy, but just a temporary pause in the movement in the right direction. By analyzing its causes, you can easily avoid failure in the future.

Failure does not mean that you are bad and incapable of anything. She only says that there is someone better and we must strive to surpass him.

If the makings of a leader are missing

How to raise a leader in a child if he is completely incapable of this? First of all, don't get upset. There are billions of people in the world, everyone cannot be the leader. But if you pay attention to the child in time, there is a huge chance to overcome many aspects of character that will interfere with his life in the future.

1. If the child does not strive for independence, force him. Give him an area of ​​responsibility. Let it be very small at first, but it will expand over time. So the child will get used to certain duties, for the performance of which only he and no one else is responsible.
2. Avoid hyperbole. It doesn't benefit anyone. As a result, weak-willed people grow up, unable to act independently even in small things.
3. Read books about hero-leaders. Watch relevant films. Encourage curiosity and any undertakings of the child.

Each person is a unique individual. The desire of parents to raise a leader from a child should not run counter to his own desires and aspirations.