Who can truly love. What does it mean to love a person

Relations with a loved one is always hard work and a great responsibility. Test strong affection- a woman often becomes the center and meaning of a man's life. She can fill it emotional background, color a dull existence, even help realize personal goals.

“I love you,” representatives of the stronger sex often say to their ladies, but they don’t even know what kind of meaning they put into this concept. True love - what does it mean? A beloved woman is always seen in the most rosy light: she is the most beautiful, smart, talented, mysterious, unique. We are ready to forgive her many mistakes related to different areas life. What rules must be followed to build honest, harmonious relationships?

What does it mean to love a woman?

Actually it's not that easy. Love in general requires a lot of strength and energy from a person. It will take a lot of self-control and courage to be able to the right way accept this gift and allow it to manifest in life. A woman needs to be able to win. Every man who has been in love at least once knows how difficult it is sometimes to meet a girl he likes. To interest her in her own person is even more difficult. It’s great if during the conversation you found similar views, common interests. On their basis, one can build interesting communication which will help you get closer.

Many people ask the question: love - what does it mean? A loved one can please you or upset you, but the feeling itself does not depend on these manifestations. Love cannot be quickly overcome or overcome in oneself, even if it causes unbearable pain and makes a person suffer. Loving a woman is always a great feat, work that undoubtedly makes a person better.

Taking responsibility

When we decide to connect our destiny with a specific person, we must also understand that we are taking on a big obligation. A man often promises his chosen one to make her the happiest on earth. And this desire must be fulfilled even in the case when you uttered it only inside yourself, in your thoughts. Many may wonder: what does this mean? Beloved from now on becomes your responsibility. No one else is responsible for her well-being, only loving spouse or just a life partner. You are like the most close person, should do everything possible to ensure that she has a sense of security next to you.

Acceptance of responsibility also implies that a man will not do anything that could offend or undermine the trust of his companion. He will never put her in an ugly situation, will not say a rude word and will not make her feel extremely awkward. The one who loves is more likely to agree to sacrifice his own time and well-being in order to make his chosen one happy.

ex lover

There is a widespread belief in psychology that partners never truly forget each other. It's not about eternal love or outstanding issues, it’s just that the former partner evokes a series of memories (positive or not) that provoke certain experiences. The ex-girlfriend here is no exception. She may demand attention or still hope to win you back. The main thing in this matter is to understand what you personally want.

With a lady who chose to terminate a relationship with you, you must be extremely careful not to provoke negative manifestations on her part and not incur various kinds of trouble. Some girls like to start scandals, arrange intrigues and spoil their lives in every possible way. former partners. It would seem, what is the connection here? If there is no desire to take revenge, manifestations of envy and increased egocentrism are quite possible.

for a long time?

If you want to build a strong and happy family, you must remember that a lot depends on you. Be polite and courteous, give your chosen one enough attention, then she will not have to feel abandoned and lonely.

Think twice before you say a harsh word or make an offensive remark. Girls are extremely vulnerable creatures, they remember grievances for a long time, even if they do not dare to say it out loud.

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And almost all women wonder - how is it, if a man truly loves? And is the stronger sex capable of experiencing this feeling at all?

The question may seem strictly philosophical, but by no means lengthy considerations will be the answer to it.

Refer to the works of practicing psychologists - many of them not only speak, but also help people understand themselves, become happy here and now.

How to distract from thoughts about a loved one? help you!

Does true love exist?

Of course there is. Furthermore - the world rests on it.

If a person certainly needs, he you should go to a psychologist. Let him deal with his. He wants games, actions, "movement" as they say today, emotions. True love cannot stand such games of chance.

If you truly love, then no sacrifice is needed. Most main man in everyone's life - you yourself.

If you love yourself. If you give up your own values ​​in the name of someone, there is no talk of love.

You can give in to the little things improve yourself, but do not break. If a loved one sets a condition for you: do not work, stay at home with the children, I decided so. And you can’t help but work, besides being a wife and mother, you are also an excellent teacher, for example!

Such conditions are from the category of “I feel so comfortable”, it has nothing to do with unconditional acceptance loved one with his goals, aspirations, opportunities.

Man's love

Very strange question can men really love. There is no difference between the sexes in this. Of course they can.

And if you doubt this, then you may have become attached to a person who does not love you. And you don’t even want to think that someone else will take the place next to you.

In this aspect, it is often remembered male polygamy.

Men are all the same, they cannot love one woman, it is naturally conditioned, etc. Good excuse, beautiful, biting. But it's an excuse!

If a man loves himself and respects, if he met a woman whom he truly loved, he there is no need to supplement your life with some other emotions with other women. He doesn't need it, he doesn't care.

Another frequently asked question: can an alcoholic really love a woman? Alcoholism- this is mental illness, chemical addiction. Alcoholism always (note - always) leads to intellectual and physical degradation.

This means that invariably, over time, the moral and ethical values ​​that are in the mind of a person will degrade. Alcoholics have a lower threshold for being critical of themselves and the world.

In a word, we can say that a true alcoholic is spiritually disabled person. Can he love?

It depends on the degree of illness, but every year of alcohol abuse a person loses many emotional and moral needs and abilities, including the ability to love.

What is love for a troubled man based on? Psychologist's answer:

Parables and sayings

There is one interesting parable. One day, a teacher found out that one of his students was in love and was seeking his love. He advised him to lag behind the man, because love cannot be demanded.

The student was surprised, to which the teacher said that when they try to break into your door, you only lock yourself harder.

What to do, asked the student? The teacher advised him to become a welcome guest, and then the doors will be opened for you.

love sincerely, genuine, don't try to make yourself look bigger than you are. Don't attract undue attention, but make it clear - modestly and unobtrusively - that you are there, and you are the one who can help.

The flower does not chase the bees, but simply attracts them with its nectar. So love is the nectar that people flock to.

The moral here is simple: You can't ask for love. If this is your man, he will not pass by. Be yourself, show your kindness and human warmth, without obsession and bravado.

Here you can remember statements of the above-mentioned M. Labkovsky:

1. Don't look for love from . Don't waste your time: You're not looking for meat in a fish store. He does not need a second wife, he already has one at home.
2. Think about whether you want to get married or want to fall in love. These are different things. Marriage is an attribute, visibility. Love is real, content. If you have healthy need love, there is also the person who will reciprocate it.
3. If some person replaces you the whole world It means that you simply do not have your own world.

If a man is not ready to start a family and in general serious relationship does not demonstrate, giving him a chance, you, with a high probability, are just wasting time. Your time, mind you.

Parable about love:

Does she pass?

Feelings can run dry. People break up, get divorced, find new happiness.

But that doesn't mean they didn't love. Relationships are a mechanism that can fail. But it can be fixed if both really want it.

And they don't rust at all utopian feelings, memories from the past that we varnish, gloss, idealize.

The whole horror is that many people live their whole lives with these glossy memories or the illusion of true unfulfilled love. Real love- this is the one that came true for both.

Feelings can be adults, mature. If you are healthy in a psychological sense, then you will not run after infantile passions and attachments. It is worth understanding that we have one life, and that it makes sense to spend it happy man, loving and loved.

Each of us at least once in our lives said “I love you” or heard from a partner the question “Do you love me?” What is love? In what way does it manifest itself? What does it mean to truly love another person? Read about it in our article.

1. To love is not to prevent another from growing.

A lover won't offer you a piece of cake if you're on a diet. He won't add sugar to your tea if you have high blood sugar. And he won’t offer you a drink if you decide to live sober. Just as he will not require you to comply with his picture of the world: do not drink if he decided not to drink, and live the way he wants.

2. To love is not to play mind games.

The lover does not blame or manipulate you. He doesn't say, "It didn't happen," if you clearly saw that, yes, it did. He doesn't call you crazy if you refuse to go along with his lies.

3. To love is not to fight.

The lover does not back up his arguments with personal attacks. He does not step on your throat and lead you to destruction. He is looking for a solution and is ready to compromise. He does not seek victory at any cost.

4. To love is not to be selfish.

The lover does not think that the world revolves around him. He takes and gives, not just takes, takes and takes. He may not always recognize, but, by at least, hears that you are tired, sick, upset or dissatisfied. A lover is able to empathize and sympathize. He can reach out and lend a shoulder. It's comfortable with him. The lover does not do whatever he wants, regardless of others. He respects your time and energy. He knows how to share.

5. To love is not to control.

One of the first signs of a potential domestic violence is the desire of the partner to control your every step: who do you call, where do you go, who do you look at, what do you do. The lover does not. He doesn't check your phone, he doesn't look at the speedometer, wondering where you've been. He doesn't tell you what you should think or wear or say. He doesn't tell you how you should feel.

6. To love is to respect.

A lover does not label you or humiliate you in front of others. He does not destroy you and does not shame you in public. The lover respects your boundaries, respects your time, respects your ideas, respects your emotions, respects you.

7. To love is to work on building trust.

A lover does not deceive, does not lie to you all the time. He doesn't question you about where you've been and what you've been doing every minute of the day. He doesn't conflict with your friends. He doesn't flirt with others. The lover does not seek to hide or keep back.

8. To love is to create space.

A lover gives you and himself the opportunity to have personal space. Couples should not be glued to each other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Sometimes you need to increase the distance. Everyone needs personal time. Time to be with your friends. Time to go visit. Time to indulge in your hobbies that the partner may not share.

9. To love is to listen.

The lover listens to you, even if you do not say something important. He just listens. He doesn't have ready-made solutions and he doesn't know all the answers. But he has patience and willingness to listen.

10. Love is NEVER being cruel.

This point needs no explanation.

The word "love" is used, perhaps more often than necessary. We all want to share love, receive love, feel loved. it driving force in our life. But the word itself has so many different versions and shades that its meaning has become quite subjective: "If you love me, you will do what I ask ...". We are constantly finding ways to measure someone's love - and our own - and use it to our advantage. Love is used as a cover for fear, insecurity, emptiness, and deep issues that we have yet to resolve within ourselves. Are we so far from the real meaning of love that we do not always know what it is?

Don't worry, it's never too late to learn how to truly love!

1. Accept the whole. To love someone is to accept him completely, along with all the shortcomings. Love does not seek change and does not require anything. She is selfless. Love perceives a person as a whole, and its task is not to judge. Love is a safe, warm and welcoming place for your chosen one. If you are trying to change someone or looking for ways to manipulate them to get what you want, this is definitely not the kind of love we are talking about. Try to understand what is really happening. Ask yourself why you want to change this person? Then ask yourself again. And again. For example, if your answer is "I want to change it because I don't like the way it does this and that," then ask yourself, "Why don't I like it?" If your answer is, "Because it bothers me," then ask yourself why it bothers you. It may turn out that what you really want is not to change the other person, but to avoid your own discomfort.

2. Support and cherish. Love is support, encouragement and motivation to become even better. Sometimes this means holding a mirror in front of the other person to help them see themselves. Love stimulates and promotes growth and development. If you find it difficult to support someone, ask yourself why? Ask yourself three questions again. These questions are great way get to know yourself. And the answers are a great opportunity to find hidden fears, as well as beliefs that limit you and qualities that require work on yourself. So you can also understand yourself by looking at how you treat other people, especially those you love.

3. Learn the language of love. Love is the opposite of fear. Love is the ability to give, not to take. Love asks, “What can I do for you?” and fear (or lack of love) asks, “What can I get out of it?” Love can be described as a gift received. You cherish it, be proud of it, appreciate its beauty. This gift is another person. Love respects him and always strives to protect, protect and help development. Love speaks softly and tenderly. If you find yourself yelling, taunting, manipulating, or acting aggressively towards someone you love, ask yourself how you can change this behavioral pattern. When did you start using it? Do you see it as defense mechanism? Knowing that love means vulnerability and openness, what other ways can you reach out to the other person without making them feel bad?

4. Love means letting go. Often when you love someone, you have to make very difficult decisions for common good. There are situations when letting go of a person is the most best thing that you can make for him. And that takes courage and true love. The need to let go is sure to trigger all sorts of emotions and fears in you. Find a way to make it easier by asking yourself what is the root of this fear. Is it attachment? If so, what meaning did you give to a relationship that is so hard to give up? In what ways can you heal yourself, knowing that a person simply needs to be let go?

5. True love starts on the inside. Self love is the first requirement if you want to learn how to love someone else. You need to take care of yourself, nourish your body and soul, and feel happy. If you start giving up and falling apart, you won't be able to love anyone. If you could treat others the way you treat yourself, would they want to be around you? Accept yourself completely and undividedly, support, cherish and cherish yourself. After all, become your own fan! And also learn to let go of people, places or things that no longer mean anything in your life!