What is better mistress or wife. Wife or mistress - who is loved more, who is more important, whom men choose

Fairy tales never show family life because all romance ends after a few years of marriage. If at first the wife was a charming princess, then gradually she turned into a servant for her husband. This is where a lover appears on the horizon. Men often get stuck in everyday life, and they strive to break out of these shackles of marriage and feel like conquerors, to become again best lovers. The mistress does not walk around in an old dressing gown and does not insert grumpy remarks, she is gentle and affectionate with a man.

Become a mistress

Married women are jealous of the beautiful young girls who walk around at work with her husband. And all because they can become lovers. Indeed, a mistress is always beautiful in appearance, charming, sexy and, most often, young. Well, how can a man resist, who has a family at home and there is a rumble from the cries of children? Men literally come to life when a sort of diva with perfect forms and in a miniskirt floats before their eyes. And immediately a stormy fantasy begins to play, what is this diva in bed. A young mistress is always burning passionate nature, liberated in conversations, meetings and sex.

The mistress always wins

The male instinct to conquer cannot be stopped by any persuasion. Therefore, as long as the institution of marriage exists, so many will exist and adultery. And it's all about human nature. The mistress from the very first second begins to fight for her object and uses the most modern weapons. In the course are personal qualities that are always only positive, external impeccability, sexuality, stunning beauty, and finally - fantastic sex. At the same time, a mistress, unlike a wife, will never tell a man that he was not particularly good at night. Cunning, dexterity, flattery - a win-win weapon of a fox.

Which is better to be: a wife or a mistress

For some reason, a mistress always strives to become a wife. There are many negative aspects to being a mistress, but there are also positive ones. Mistresses are free, not burdened with life and children, they really want them. After all, when a man takes a mistress, he finds in her the most precious and necessary for happy life. Mistress - from the word love, so the man is drawn to this newly flared feeling. Relationships of lovers are built on playfulness, falling in love, gifts and all sorts of surprises. Don't expect this at home. A wife should cook, clean, wash, take care of children and husband. She just doesn't have time for herself.

Forever young and attractive

The opinion that a mistress is only suitable for one or two meetings is erroneous. Such rumors are circulating among deceived wives. A man can have a mistress long years. After all, she is attractive and attractive, as she is always well-groomed, she cannot be taken by surprise without makeup and in old slippers. Even at home, the mistress is exceptionally good in a transparent short dressing gown and home shoes but on heels. Time is not taken away by children and household chores, so in addition to work, you can go to gym. Well, how can you not stay forever young?

The only mistress

Often there are cases when the mistress becomes the one and only. This is possible for young women who are confident in their abilities, who know what this particular man needs. Plus, they have an undeniable trump card on their side: youth, playfulness, beauty. The nature of the mistress, in contrast to the temper of the wife, is sweet, but with drops of bitterness. She does not nag a man for mistakes and blunders in his sexual life and by this encourages him to more and more new exploits. Here it is not surprising that she will oust her lawful wife and take her place.

“Is it better to be a mistress than a wife, or vice versa?”

“Is it better for a man to be a mistress or a wife?” - If a woman is married, this is considered a huge plus in her favor.

Marriage today is an indicator of a woman's success. That is why, as soon as a little bit of decent man, we immediately imagine him as our husband, after which we immediately strive to become his wife by any permitted and prohibited methods.

The official victory of a woman should be evaluated only by a cup in the form of a = stamp in her passport, because nothing else can give her such great pleasure as this testimony. However, after their marriage, men are not at all going to stop there - they continue to conquer new fronts even after marriage, that is, to make lovers for themselves.

Who is the Lover? Any mistress is always the second plan, albeit bright. If the wife finds out about her existence, then she begins to reproach her mistress with the fact that she is nothing of herself, that her role is generally none, that she is nobody. Well, after all, the truth is - who is this mistress?

Since she is not in the main place, how can she take the first role? Although, in fairness, it is worth noting that the role of the second plan can be played in such a way that no one will notice the main role.

Getting married is easy, harder is living in a marriage! Do you just need it? People say that marriage kills any passion. And if you think logically, then in order to prolong this passion forever, it is generally necessary to disperse. Look for yourself - when you remember your younger years (say, your eighteen or twenty years), do you think about your husband, who then was still only your boyfriend?

No, you think of those with whom your paths did not converge, with whom you parted in a fit of passion, as a result of violent quarrels, because of which you shed tears for many nights. This is what youth and life meant to you! "Eaten" by life conjugal love Today, your original passion with your husband has turned into something so mundane that no one will even remember what he was ready for in the very first months of his courting you. No serenades in the middle of the night, no flowers for no reason, no passionate kisses you no longer remember your husband.

You have lost that impatience with which you waited for the moment when you will be left alone at night. Agree, the fact that you did not have a place for night dates played a huge role, developing imagination and resourcefulness to unimaginable proportions. Today, that passion is gone. Today, you can say exactly when and where it will happen, but there is no that passionate desire that once was, there is no adrenaline, romance, languid expectation and other small, but such valuable little things.

Your life is more like a supply manager position. At the same time, all the best goes to his mistress, all the cream, all the romance that he should give to his wife. Who is better to become and be - a mistress or a wife?

Highly big difference you will feel when, after many years of such a marriage, you yourself find yourself in the role of a mistress - now you will know for sure what you missed so much in marriage. Of course, this is primarily attention.

Lovers never come to each other with a tired and indifferent expression, they would rather not come and find an excuse for this, in response to a question they will not mutter something under their breath, but will answer and discuss with interest, will not scandal, because the dishes have not been removed or there is nothing to eat, and besides, he will never demand an account of the money that he left you last time.

That is why many mistresses who have been in the role of wives will never agree to become the wives of their lovers later. These women know that in that, their family life their lovers act just like theirs ex-husbands- no way! However, in relation to his mistress, a man will not allow himself such a casual tone, no impermissible liberties, because he knows that he can be refused at any time.

That is why he is forced to hide and hide all his negativity, all his negative emotions, claims and character. He compensates for all this in abundance in bed - there he manifests unbridled imagination, talent. In addition, he knows that such women need to give gifts. By the way, a mistress with her man always has such a wonderful sex because he always goes to her when he has special mood. If he is not in the mood, has a headache, has a problem at work or something else, then he always stays at home to express his dissatisfaction with his wife.

Another important point He should pay attention to his wife at least occasionally, but he must. If this is not done, then endless scandals await him. He goes to his mistress when he wants it for him. The mistress does not require him to report in that. Where he was, what he did, does not call him every hour with questions. After all, a mistress always knows where and with whom her man is, at work or at home with his wife.

The mistress is aware of the whole situation and accepts it as it is. If to speak plain language, then all the rough work goes to the wife - laundry, cooking, scandals, childcare, irritation and fatigue. The mistress always gets only cream. A man perceives his wife as a book read a hundred times, worn to holes, while he perceives his mistress as an adventure new novel.

He is destined to read this novel for a long time, because he cannot afford to read it a lot and at once, which is called avidly. So you have to be content with one or two pages a week. The rest of the time he has to live fulfilling his duties to his wife and society - doing work, driving home, spending time with his wife, going fishing with his children on weekends, spending time with his parents and his wife's parents.

Each time, parting with their mistress, they do it positively and with great disappointment, because they understand that it is often better not to get with each other than to stop. If you overeat, then you won’t feel like it for a long time. If you eat small piece then you will want more and more.

Decide ... only you! So it's up to you if you want to have the status married woman, move from the status of mistress to the world of married and married people, or stay in the background, in the role of the second plan, constantly experiencing adrenaline and the spirit of adventure.

Between two fires: to choose a mistress or a wife?

Women regularly turn to me with a request for help - it is necessary to “repel” the husband’s mistress and return him to the family. Or, in other words, how to make my husband decide to choose me.

And I tell everyone who applied the same thing - the psychologist is powerless here. Because a person (in this case husband) in such situations can not solve anything. Can't just physically.

Let's explain on the fingers.

We live among systems

In human life there is such a phenomenon as the systems in which we are included. For example, a member of a work team, a resident of an entrance, a participant in a theater studio, a son, grandson, friend, matchmaker, godfather, brother, and so on.

Man belongs to these systems with varying degrees of affection. And - what is important! - the more attractive the system is for him, the more he is attached to it, the more the system attracts him.

Moreover, the attractiveness may not be very bright - say, it may be a childhood memory (from the first grade together, at the same desk) and no more. But even such a memory may be enough to make the system attractive, to bind to it.

I talked in more detail about the systems themselves in the article “How to unravel in your life”, but here we’ll just fix it - a person lives in such systems, and these systems differ in their degree of attractiveness.

When the mind is powerless

As long as we live in a situation where different systems varying degrees attractiveness, everything is fine - the priorities are set, the goals are subordinated, first the first, then the second, and the compote for the third.

Problems begin where both systems become equally attractive.

Here, for example, is a mistress. She is younger than wife, not wrapped up in children and everyday life, always happy and available in a sexual sense. The "mistress" system is undeniably attractive.

But the wife - she had a long (and in some places very good) history of relationships, common children, an established life, a fair amount of wear and tear. The “wife” system is attractive, though in a different way, but no less.

This is where these crazy swings begin, when a man decides, they say, that's it, I'll go to my mistress, crosses the threshold, leaving behind a crying wife and confused children, comes to his mistress to live with her forever .... And in a week he is going back - home to his wife.

At this moment, the wife is happy, the children relaxed, everything fell into place .... And in a week the man is going back - there, to his mistress.

It seems that he is playing with the feelings of these women or is simply weak-willed, since he cannot decide (and if so, then something can be done to help him make a decision).

In fact, he is torn apart between two equally attractive systems and no amount of willpower will work here. Simply because a person cannot use it.

To be torn in such a situation is extremely natural for a person. It is also natural not to be able to fly or throw off the tail (for lack of a tail).

It can’t, a person simply can’t take and choose in such a situation - he doesn’t have enough resources in his head for this.

endure and wait

And here we come to the very difficult moment- to solve this situation.

I assure you you won't like it. However, I believe that the bitter truth is better than the sweet lie, at least, in what questions.

Therefore, keep the bitter truth - if a wife has a task to keep a man (although why is he needed like that?), Then you need to wait and endure.

The effectiveness of this strategy is not absolute, but of all the others it is the most effective. So to say - the best among the worst.

Here's the thing - in such a clash of systems, the one that remains attractive wins. And to remain attractive, you need not to push.

Indeed, at some point, the mistress will say, they say, it’s enough to live in two houses, it’s time to decide, and then her attractiveness for a man will begin to decline sharply (I know what I’m talking about, I constantly come across this at work).

And the wife at this time is silent and does not require anything. And then the choice happens as if by itself - the attractiveness of the mistress has decreased, the attraction to her is no longer so strong, but the attractiveness of the wife has remained at the same level, she is drawn to her.

There is no need to choose here - he returned back, he doesn’t pull anywhere else, everything is the same again. Here is the end of the story.

There is only one problem - to endure and wait is very, incredibly, exceptionally, monstrously difficult (and, by the way, as a rule, for a very long time - until three years, happens). Few people can survive all this.

And here is the question for the woman - is she ready for such trials for the sake of this man. There is no right answer here, everyone decides for herself.

I can say one thing for sure - other options are even more hopeless in terms of results (but not so difficult). How to deal with this is, of course, not for me to decide.

Total. When a man is torn between his wife and his mistress, he does it not out of malice and not out of weakness of will, but because of a kind of “failure” in the head. This “failure” cannot be cured in any way, it can only be experienced. This experience can last for several years, and it is difficult for both the man and his wife to experience it. If she does not put pressure on her husband, the chances that their marriage will last are quite high (but, of course, not absolute). Whether a woman has enough strength for this and whether she needs it at all is not for me to decide.

And I have everything, thank you for your attention.

Pavel Zygmantovich

The choice between a wife and a mistress is a painful situation, so try to look from the outside. To make an informed decision, it is important to separate short-term emotions, outbursts of passion, possible resentment and other husks, to expose real feelings of love, affection, desire to care, readiness to be, as they say, next to a person "in wealth, poverty, trouble, joy." Think logically, discard the feeling of guilt, it aggravates the situation. Be responsible, fate, personal happiness depend on the choice, so it’s worth weighing, analyzing all the pros and cons.

Imagine there are two projects on the table in front of you that should be analyzed, looked for possible miscalculations, decided and put into development. Creation harmonious relations is also a job no less important than building a safe house to operate. Projects have different stages development, but they have one goal - to make your life happy. Marriage is a voluntary union, which, like the project, has certain period actions, beginning in the form candy-bouquet period and honeymoon, and the end is divorce or the death of one of the spouses.

There is another option - the slow fading of feelings, cooling, indifference of partners, communication difficulties, turning into irritation, hatred. If this is about your family life and attempts to restore mutual understanding are ineffective, then it is better to leave the family. Is it worth it to torment each other, in vain trying to inflate an extinct fire family hearth if attempts to resurrect past feelings interfere with being happy individually?

Need to realize specific purpose each project, time to implement, take into account the budget. Please note that leaving the family for a mistress does not cancel your right and duty to be a loving, caring father to your children. Regardless of the circumstances, you are their protection and support in this difficult world. Try to avoid demonstrative mutual accusations, typical wars in which a wife and mistress are involved. Children are not to blame, they experience the separation of their parents most painfully. Crumbling them down small world, where everything is clear, laid out on the shelves. When you leave your family, keep in touch with them, explain how you love them.

Once, in the vastness of Runet, I met instructive story. The child could not accept the divorce of his parents, closed in on himself. An experienced psychologist listened to a confession married man, who for a long time could not decide how to choose between his wife and his mistress, invited his wife, the mother of the child, to the room, then called the baby. She asked the boy what kind of girl he likes in the kindergarten. The child replied that at first he sympathized with cute Anechka, now he likes cheerful Katyusha. Then the psychologist asked: “Why then should dad live with mom if he fell in love with another woman?” The kid looked at her carefully, approached his parents with the words: “Come on, I understand everything!”

I love both

Who will win in the struggle of heart and mind, lawful wife or mistress?

Typical confession of a married man: I'm not a goodie. They lived well, peacefully, quietly, only had sex once a month. I fell into a depression, but did not change. was flirting with different girls, did not go beyond. I went into myself, was silent, actively watched porn, worked, and now I understand that my wife felt my secrecy, doubted my love for her. I started drinking but quickly stopped. At that moment, another girl appeared. There is a huge difference between a wife and a mistress. It turned out that I was a good lover, I felt young, full of strength. But the girl is angry with me, screaming that I'm using her, and then immediately confesses her love. I went through a lot with my wife, I love her too, but in a different way. I can not say that a mistress is better than a wife. I don't know who to choose. Confused. I seem to lose a part of myself by making the final choice.

First, let's deal with the concept of "love". If we understand affection by it, then it is permissible to love two or three people. But, understanding by this word mutual care, devotion, support, we realize that feelings are directed at especially loved one. With such a strong connection, we do not need anyone but the object of love. Often, instead of such feelings, people experience emotional dependence, habit, lust, persistent interest, confusing it with true love. This explains the typical phrase "I love both in different ways."

There is another interesting point vision. Attraction to two women at the same time is considered through the analysis of physiological and psychological reasons. Some psychologists advise looking for roots primarily in oneself, in early childhood. The boy always requires constant attention, mother's care. Having not received love, he matures, becomes an adult man and the desire to have an endless maternal love turns into the need to receive affection, care from other women. Psychologists say that more often than not, the cause of romances on the side is the unfulfilled children's need for love, attention, and not the sexual aspect, as the majority believes.

How to break a love triangle?

The psychology of a married man who has a mistress creates a specific pattern of behavior. The need to hide relationships on the side, constantly control one's own speech, seem calm - unpleasant moments, but they pay off by the absence of the usual reproaches, reading morality, which the wife often abuses, updating intimate life, illusion free relationship. A man tries to live up to expectations, but, letting a man into own life, becomes vulnerable, susceptible to manipulation.

But the motives of the girl should be taken into account. What pursues, expects a new hobby? Over time, the lover will either begin to rigidly demand more attention, effort, financial support, skillfully manipulate feelings of guilt, affection, or will find more suitable option. Of course, the exception is real love, which will help to overcome all obstacles, fire and water, business bankruptcy, prolonged lack of money, a serious illness, will not fade away from routine and life, but such cases, unfortunately, are rare even among lawful chosen ones, not to mention a new lover.

Most often, a girl is looking for exactly married partner who has already reached certain heights to conquer him, perhaps even give birth to a child. Thus, she kills two birds with one stone - increases her self-esteem, status and gains material security. Skillfully playing on weaknesses, family misunderstandings, problems that bother you, but there is no one to discuss them with, she will achieve what she wants.

Need to be determined. An unfinished relationship is like a thorn in the finger. They interfere with enjoying life, constantly threaten to aggravate the situation, the appearance of an abscess, and can lead to nervous breakdown. If the connection is alive, try to restore it.

When we live in vain hope, regularly compare a potential partner with the former one, we ourselves do not change inside, there is a threat of repeating the mistakes of a previous marriage. The novelty is gone. Romance is slowly moving into everyday life. New lady heart imperceptibly loses its angelic appearance, turning into ordinary woman with their problems, demands, claims, reproaches. Vicious circle.

This is how stereotyping, stereotyped thinking is created. We justify ourselves by believing that "all women are the same" or "again made a mistake, did not meet that one." However real reason deeper. It is necessary to revise values, analyze mistakes, work on oneself. Therefore, before starting a new relationship, you should definitely end the old one.

Psychologist Kristina Kudryavtseva argues that the triangle cannot be broken if it is perceived in the plane of competition between two parties for attention, significance for the third. Shift focus to yourself internal conflict. Is it a choice between what for you? What you are striving for, understand the essence of the search. What is missing old connection? Is it possible to fill an empty niche of marriage, to complement your project?

Let's ask for help to experienced psychologist. Independent analysis is not always effective. Barriers work, psychological self-defense, distorting the perception of the situation. A critical appraisal is needed.

If we are not aware of what is happening inside, from the outside it seems that this is fate. - Psychologist Carl Gustav Jung.

The presence of relationships on the side indicates problems, stagnation in the family. Take into account the advice of a psychologist: make a decision consciously. Analyze the situation, calculate the risks, predict possible consequences, scenarios, take into account the strengths and weaknesses. Do not be guided by someone else's opinion, the advice of friends, do not succumb to manipulation. You are responsible for your own life, your choices. No one knows better than you what decision to make.

Male attention is easy and difficult to earn at the same time. Usually it happens like this: easy - when you don’t really need this young man, and it’s just a matter of “sporting interest”, then you don’t have to put in almost any effort: he goes crazy and persistently tries to achieve location. And it's difficult - when you yourself do not have a soul in a person who has a sweet heart, but he does not pay any attention to you at all. Such is the law of meanness. Such is the paradox of modernity: if you love, they don't love you; if you don't love, they adore you. This is exactly how they behave family women. At first they do not pay attention to the husband, for many years life together with which they managed to get used to and plunge into the gray everyday life of household chores, and then they begin to tear and throw, trying to curb the feeling of possessiveness and somehow return the husband's disposition when his young mistress appears on the battlefield. On whose side in such cases the internal scales are outweighed young man, if on both bowls there are two women chosen by him? Who do men prefer: wives or mistresses?

The importance of a wife in a man's life

When a man marries a woman, he does conscious choice. He really thinks that this relationship will last for many years of living together, and he really believes in a happy future for their young couple. But very often it happens that in the declining years or even after some short period of time after the day of marriage, a direct threat becomes a direct threat on the way of an already established family and an established marriage - a young mistress. From this moment the "adventure" begins. The most interesting thing is that from this moment on, a man does not look deep into the soul and intentions of his new passion, but begins to critically examine his wife from all possible angles, finding fault with her features, starting with her scandalousness and ending with harmless habits. During this period, a man thinks about the importance of his wife in his life: does he need her at all? After all, now in his life began new stage, he is open to new sensations, new events that he wants and is ready to meet with a new passion, a new love.

To go on vacation with a mistress, not to hide from anyone, to feel free with a new passion - all this is what a winged man wants so much at first. He basks in a new passion, plunging into it almost headlong. But somewhere out there, in the far corners of his subconscious, a man begins to look for the answer to the question "Do I love my wife or not anymore?" At some unshakable level, with a sixth sense or a special instinct, he feels a slight anxiety that his wife will disappear somewhere, she will not be there, and she will never make him a cup of hot coffee in the morning, she will never iron his shirt before work, he will never quarrel with her because of another financial disagreement ... This moment restrains the newly-made Casanova, and it becomes hard choice: Still wife or mistress?

The value of a mistress in a man's life

Speaking of homeowners, it can be noted that men look at them a little differently than at their wives. Tying up a relationship with another woman, the young man begins to falsely think that before that he did not live at all, did not love, was not happy. And only now, being imprisoned in the "shackles" of marriage, he met the one that he had been waiting for, it would seem, all his life. Mistresses in the lives of men are, as it were, a lifeline. In the routine of everyday life and gray everyday life, women diversify the “boring” life of young people for one night or for a long period. They give special meaning their connections on the side. And the moment of rapprochement with another woman plunges them not only into the abyss of passions and new pleasant emotional upheavals, but also into confusion about how to be now, because the lawful wife is waiting at home ...

What a man does not accept in a woman

When a man analyzes the question of who is better - a wife or a mistress, he immediately begins his comparative process by exposing the bad habits of his young ladies. Unfortunately, often it is the wife who is criticized. And all because he managed to get to know his wife quite well over the years of living together, and his mistress looks “white and fluffy” in the light of a newly made acquaintance with his married gentleman. What do men dislike so much about their women?

• Grumpiness is one of the first factors that does not play into the hands of a spouse.
• Ordinary in sexual life - often this very moment makes a man go "to the left".
• Boredom - against the background of the appearance of such a sweet and interesting interlocutor in the face of a new passion, the wife becomes dim and dull in the eyes of a man.

What factors affect men's choice

In addition to negative nuances, a young man who is confused and doubting his choice also evaluates positive aspects. spending time together with each of the women. In his difficult question - whom to choose: a wife or a mistress, he relies on several specific criteria for comparison. What are these criteria?

• Sex. For men, there is nothing more important than physical contact with a lover. This is, so to speak, the starting point in his relations with the ladies.
• The senses. In addition to carnal pleasures, young people often want to emotionalize with their lady of the heart, so they also rely on their feelings in relation to both contenders for themselves.
• Weasel. That woman who shows not grumpiness, but care, not a mania for scandals, but a tendency to participate, occupies a leading position in the evaluation series of a man.
• Cosiness. Every man wants to feel close to his woman "at home". And it doesn’t matter where their unity takes place - at the metro station or in a restaurant, the main thing is that he feels comfortable next to her.
• Understanding. Men are like big children, they want to be listened to, pitied, agreed with their opinion. Therefore, understanding with a woman and her ability to indulge him plays a rather important role in his list of aspects of his assessment of women.

Consideration of each specific criterion in more detail allows representatives strong half humanity to make a more deliberate choice in the question of who is better: a wife or a mistress.

Criterion of sex life

A mega-important factor for a young man in a relationship with a woman is sex life. In fact, men, if they leave their wives for other young ladies, do it initially solely because of their sexual attraction to the new applicant. Such cases of male adultery are especially frequent in cases where the wife is older. In addition to the fact that the years go by, and the wife does not get younger, men get bored, as they put it, “the same borscht” for a long time. I also want to have a "soup sip". Therefore, choosing between a wife and a mistress precisely on the basis of sex appeal, men prefer young professional girls, not even realizing that a woman, like a flower, blooms in the hands of an experienced gardener. A wife, if desired, can become that other wizard in bed matters, you just need to be able to properly handle her and behave accordingly.

Criteria of care and attention

Often men are deceived in their understanding of the mistress. Here he lies next to his new chosen one and thinks: “It seems that I love my wife. But the lover is so sweet, kind, caring, attentive ... ". Men should understand one thing for a long time: a mistress is a second wife. It is only at first, at the moment of the candy-bouquet period, she behaves like an affectionate kitty with her "tiger cub". She is just waiting for him to visit, and they have a pleasant time together, without scandals about finances, without "snotty" children, without eternal complaints. This world is illusory. And, importantly, it is temporary. As soon as a young man dares to leave the family and make his mistress his wife, she becomes that “dragon”, often worse than the previous grumpy “abandoned”. Therefore, before making a choice, a man should think a thousand times whether the game is worth the candle.

Participation Criteria

The same goes for female behavior. If a man does not understand who he loves more - his wife or his mistress, he often begins to analyze the attitude of both women towards him. Here is a legal wife: she is often unhappy that he forgets to take out the garbage in the morning, or constantly complains that he does not let her watch her favorite series on Saturday night because of a football review, and the like. And there is a charmer, young, beautiful, she is so caring, so sympathetic to his failures, so supportive of him. kind word… I should probably choose her. The answer is obviously wrong. This is the same situation as described above: only First stage relationships are formed in a similar way. Sly young ladies will go to the wrong lengths to get their way and take their beloved man away from the family. And then they show their true selves. Therefore, you should not rush to the sympathy of your mistress, because often this is just self-deception.

comfort criterion

But if all the previous moments are viewed by a young man through the prism of "pink glasses" with the image of a beauty on the side, then in part family comfort All the pluses are exclusively on the side of his wife. The wife is the woman who washes, strokes, feeds, waters her husband, she is the keeper of the hearth. And whatever it is, whatever family troubles nor comprehended a married couple, it is always more pleasant for a man to return home, to a place where it is clean, warm and just good.

Understanding criterion

When looking for an answer to the question of who is more important - a wife or a lover, one should also take into account the fact that the years she has lived with her wife give her the opportunity to learn absolutely everything about her husband, to look into the darkest corners of his soul. The wife, like no one else, understands and accepts her legal spouse putting up with all his oddities. Another thing is love. After all, she sees only a shell, what a man wants to show her in order to please her. She does not fully understand what difficulties, troubles, and perhaps even disappointment await her with him. She did not have time to recognize his nature, unlike his wife, who studied him as flaky. Therefore, the wife this issue a man has a priority: she is wise, she is understanding, she is more picky in the habits of her lover, especially if the wife is older than the young coquette on the side.

Trust criterion

The same goes for trust: it is much easier for a wife to trust, because she knows stories from the past, from childhood, from the difficult times that a man had to go through. While in front of his new passion he cannot open up to the end, fearing to frighten her away or disappoint her with the baggage of events, not always positive, that he has behind him.

Comfort criterion

A man who faces a choice between two women is often lost, anxious, and upset. The complexity of the task assigned to him depresses him, and he rushes between his wife and mistress. The psychologist's advice in this case is aimed at analyzing the man's sense of self while being with each of them: the young man must understand with whom he is more comfortable to be around, in whom he feels of great importance. Experts recommend next move: to understand who he is better with, a man needs to imagine a situation in which one of the women disappears from his life forever. The one who is dearer to him and whom he is more afraid of losing is the only right choice.

Feeling criterion

And finally, love. A man needs to sort out his feelings. And here one should not confuse fleeting love with a long-standing well-established feeling of affection, deep respect, sincere empathy. It is fortunate that many young people, at the end of their own introspection, realize that the old true friend better than the new two. Therefore, more often they still choose wives.