Why do men make empty promises. How to make a man keep his promises

I will not reveal the secret by saying that all men are different, but there is something in them that unites them all. On purpose or not, each of them at least once made a promise, which in the end was not fulfilled. Said and forgot.

And we, for some reason, are waiting for the promised, as the proverb says, three years. It is not at all a fact that a man did not fulfill his promise by nature or by malicious intent.

He promised to call yesterday morning, but it's already evening today and the phone is silent. He promised to help your mother with repairs, take you shopping for the weekend or take your child to a cartoon. Oh, yes, he just didn’t promise, and a trip abroad in the summer, and nail a shelf, and no matter what he promised you, he didn’t fulfill his promise to you. Why did he do that? Wanted to upset you or lies in men's blood? He did it for the same reason you promised your mom as a child not to eat snow and tidy up your room, just to be left behind.

Or maybe he just forgot? Not because his head is full of holes, but simply his memory pushes back events and deeds that are subconsciously not significant to him. For the same reason, you have repeatedly forgotten to bring a film to a colleague that you have long promised to give to watch or call a friend to chat. Things that are not of particular importance and value, the memory "likes to push into the background."

Failure to fulfill promises does not yet characterize a man from a bad side. It doesn't mean that he can't be trusted at all. If he did not fulfill his promise to take you to a restaurant, this does not mean that he will not fulfill his promise to marry you.

If a man occasionally makes promises, which he then does not fulfill, due to other more important matters or other circumstances, there is nothing to worry about. It's another matter if throwing words to the wind became his habit, became his second nature. Is it possible to fight this and how to make a man keep his promises?

You can try several ways to influence idle talk. The simplest is to explain your attitude towards his broken promises. Tell how it offends you, how important it is for you to know that when he makes a promise, he will keep it. A loving and caring person should listen and take this into account. Although, the other may simply promise not to do this again.

Remind them that it is better to refrain from making promises at all than to be known as a liar and a deceiver.

You can use a method called "mirror". That is, in some situations, do the same as him, do not keep promises. For example: promise him romantic dinner followed by a violent continuation and fail. Or, as if by accident, forget to comply with his request. Make him feel how frustrating it is to deal with something that doesn't keep its promises.

You can, of course, stand above your soul and demand to fulfill everything that you promised. But this method almost never works. Men are only annoyed and repelled by the persistent imposition of something on them.

And how often do we think about whether what a man said is a promise. When after delicious dinner he suggests going out to a restaurant sometime to save you the trouble of cooking. Or when to your question: “Darling, will you buy me a fur coat?” he replies, "Honey, I'll think about it." In such cases, women perceive this as a promise, but the man does not at all.

Of course, much depends on the promise that the man gave you. If he, in a fit of tenderness, said that he would carry you all his life in his arms and fill you with flowers. It is unlikely that you will be presented with a picture in which a decrepit old man is trying to raise you up or spending his entire pension on a bouquet for you. And if he promised to quit smoking and go in for sports, is it right to demand that he fulfill the promise? In this case, everyone has the right to their habits, everyone is responsible for their own health. Another thing is if bad habits have developed into a disease, for example, alcoholism, and he wants to get rid of it, but is unable to do it on his own. Then without your help and the help of a specialist, he can not do.

You should not call him a liar and a deceiver, trying to make him feel guilty. Think about it, maybe you are asking too much from him, forcing him to make endless promises?

If a man has never been seen making empty promises, this should not make you particularly happy. Perhaps your man will break into a cake to keep his word. Such hyperresponsibility is characteristic of extremely insecure people. By fulfilling the promise, they are filled with self-respect, which they so lack. Such people often react painfully to optionality. And the phrase “we’ll call you somehow” thrown by you can become the reason that a person will not part with his mobile even for a minute, waiting for your call.

When deciding how to make a man keep his promises, in no case do not resort to magic, do not look for conspiracies and rituals. Do not turn to fortune-tellers and sorcerers. It remains to be seen how this can turn against you. Do not make it your task to catch a man on the fact that he did not fulfill the promise. This can become a factor of irritation and lead to a quarrel.

Think it might be wiser not to take on faith all the words he said? And if he somehow promised to buy you a ring or something else pleasant, do not expect this from him. You should not peer into the windows with a dreary look, spoiling your mood. If he doesn't want to, he won't buy anyway. But when you do not expect, but receive, the joy of the gift increases significantly.

It is important to remember that when you get a man to fulfill his promises, you yourself must keep your promises. To avoid the game in one goal. Whatever methods you use to fight the unfulfilled promises of men, the main thing is not to overdo it so that the struggle does not become an end in itself. After all, the main thing is harmonious relationship two loving people.

“I could make a whole book out of the promises that men made to me in bed,” said Barbara Streisand. It must be admitted that there really is a category of men who generously give out promises, and are not limited to the bedroom: “I will call you / Of course, we will get married! / Yes, I will buy you a fur coat / Of course, I will come to dinner / Today I will hang this picture " . Hit of all times and peoples: "I promise, this will not happen again." Why men do not keep their word and is it worth waiting for the promised three years.

We begin to believe in the promises made to us since childhood - when dad promises for the New Year the most beautiful doll, and Santa Claus guarantees that in next year will definitely reappear. When Santa Claus does not come, and instead of a doll a tiny baby doll sits under the tree, disappointment sets in. It is noteworthy that there is no analogue of the phrase “a man said, a man did” regarding a woman. Specific relation to the word this man, experts explain socio-cultural norms. “A man is a structuring principle, he builds the structure of the world. And the structure is something that you can rely on,” psychologist Alena Sagadeeva philosophizes. “These are traditionally social and gender roles, in accordance with which boys and girls are brought up,” adds Igor Pozhidaev, a psychotherapist at the Sibneiromed center. “People are expected to live up to the ideas they’ve been taught.”

But some, apparently, still inspired something else. Conditionally men giving empty promises can be divided into three categories.

Liar, liar. This is a real liar, manipulator and cunning. He knows what he wants and achieves everything possible ways, including making promises that are expected of him and that he will never fulfill.
. Aspiring. The second category is men who do it unconsciously. “Such men want to look better than they are. They are aspiring, but not moving,” says Alena Sagadeeva. They make promises not because they want to deceive - they just want it to be so in reality, so they themselves begin to sincerely believe in it, infecting their interlocutors with their faith. If such a man is convicted of a discrepancy between words and deeds, he will very sadly shrug, ask for forgiveness and promise that this time he will try to do everything right.
. Offended. The most amazing character. It differs from the previous one in excessive touchiness and defiant removal of responsibility. "Why aren't you looking for a job? You promised, ”they are interested in him for the fifth time. And he explodes with righteous anger, managing to give a dozen arguments in favor of the fact that he has nothing to do with it and is generally deeply offended by the very posing of the question.

Between word and deed
If you dig into male head, most often the reasons for such irresponsibility are associated with an attempt to escape - the fear of punishment, the desire to avoid a scandal or to reassure someone who is happy to be deceived himself.

“The most important thing is that inside this person there is a certain conflict between what he really wants and what others expect from him, to whom he makes these promises,”

says Alena Sagadeeva. He may know that he wants something else, or he may sincerely believe that he wants the same thing that they do, although in reality this is not so. Ultimately, in order not to create excessive tension in the relationship, he promises what he does not really want. What does he really want then? According to Ms. Sagadeeva, unlike a woman who wants stability, a man, first of all, seeks freedom. How will he react to the restriction in the basic need, depends on upbringing and fortitude, but the reaction in one form or another will follow immediately. Empty promises are one of them.

The second need that must be satisfied (here regardless of gender) is the need for love, acceptance and respect.

In response to his promise, the man receives certain bonuses - the fur coat has not yet been bought, the nail has not yet been hammered - and the woman is already smiling, already grateful in advance and inspiring for further verbal exploits.

Also, show me a woman who does not want to hear that everything will be fine and all wishes will come true? Even if it's hard to believe, even if the whole previous experience says the opposite, I still really want to.

What to do?
It is difficult to resist the question “Why didn’t you warn again?”, It is difficult to resist irony in response to another promise from a person who does not keep his word. The only thing you can do in this situation is to try again to voice how you feel - in some cases, the quantity factor works. And most importantly - for yourself to understand what you personally do in order to get the attitude that you get. This will surely anger many women, but it happens that they themselves regularly insist, push through their desires, preventing a man from expressing himself the way he wants.

Analyzing in which column of merits you made a mistake, you can find the treasured key that will open the veil of secrecy and put everything in its place.

“As a rule, the problem is in the mismatch of values ​​- for a man one thing is valuable, and for a woman another, these are different things and they do not intersect.

On the other hand, if a man regularly makes promises, but does not fulfill them, then this is not the right man - this is especially difficult to believe, ”says Alena Sagadeeva. It is possible, according to experts, to change the current model of behavior, but it is difficult. “It requires quite a lot of effort,” Igor Pozhidaev believes. “And here you need to correctly assess the situation, understand whether to fight for your happiness or just find it in the form in which it already exists.”

If you don’t want to break off the relationship, you should again ask yourself the question - what will happen if he never fulfills what he promises? Would you like to be with him in this case? If not, then you should stop entertaining yourself with illusions. And if so, to hell with her, with a fur coat and an unhammered nail.

Valeria Belenkaya

But at the same time, there is another opinion that it is impossible to divide people according to this character. Men and women do not keep their promises. But let's be honest, women love to tell stories, gossip, embellish everything. Here he walks between women: "But mine promised, but did not fulfill." If you think about it, men never talk about this, that's the whole secret. But since we are talking about such a topic, we need to continue.

Now let's try to figure out the reasons for all this, but it will be quite difficult, because it can be called whole science which we cannot overcome. But if we can overcome it, understand its basic mechanisms, we can at least partially get rid of the various illusions that haunt us, and especially the one that a man promises and does not keep his promises. By getting rid of these illusions, we also get rid of painful experiences that always follow them. But let's not make porridge and start in order.

Try to find a person who likes to be forced to do something by force - no one likes this, moreover, it is also very annoying, because they are also forced to hear from you more and more honestly. It is unlikely that a man in such a situation will do what they want from him, and if he does, then he will definitely not invest his soul in this matter. If we take the ideal situation, then the man himself must go in before that and want it himself. If this does not happen, then you are a woman, in order to push him and direct him in the direction where your desire would become his own decision, but you also need to do this correctly, since the result depends on your actions. There are two options: give your husband an ultimatum, or take advantage of your feminine gentleness by using cunning and psychology.

But there's still a choice right moment, what about the method ..., it all depends on the situation, it happens that both methods are good at the same time. The main thing is not to confuse them, and not to aggravate the situation by using the wrong method, because then your man will definitely not keep his promise, and the law: “a man promises and does not keep his promise” will be confirmed again.

For example: a girl can wait good moment when the husband again"fail" the task, and say: "I knew that you could not be trusted with anything" - this will push him to keep the promised word. He will try to take revenge on her because she does not believe in his strength and capabilities. As a result: he does not want to disappoint her and will begin to help her in all her requests.

On the other hand, a girl can listen to her husband, enter into his position, after he explains to her the reason for not completing the task given to him. "Well, of course! ': you say. Yes, we agree, he can answer “I didn’t want to”, but this will not be a male answer at all. In response, you can simply tell him: “This is not manly.” He will remember it for sure. If he gives serious arguments and promises to fulfill the promised work later, it means that you managed to conquer him with a simple and calm conversation. But do not forget that the husband could simply simply forget, so do not immediately yell at him. Just in next time You just need to remember and everything will be fine.

Another law “men promise and do not keep their promise” can be misunderstood, because a man simply does not want to upset his soulmate, therefore he promises, if only not to upset him right away. And the reason for this is love, since he cannot see his beloved sad, so he takes on much more than he can afford. Yes, this man does not justify, but still ... If you have such a case, then, of course, the probability of fulfilling his promise is zero.

You must clearly understand that a person must have freedom of choice, and any promise that he makes to you under pressure does not promise to be fulfilled.

What you just read is not always feasible, because a lot also depends on the situation. For example, you should not forget about male friendship. You could assign him a trip to a cafe on certain time but he could meet his old and very close friend. No, he will not exchange you, but he also needs to talk with him a little, find out how his life is going. And it is right. If you were in his place, you would do exactly the same, but there is not a big difference between you. Your husband would most likely not say a word to you, and you would get upset because of this, which would begin to oppress your husband.

It is also worth understanding this point: the period of time that passes between the time of “signing the contract” and its implementation is the time when the wife gave her husband a credit of trust, you, during this time, give him better life. During this interval, he feels as if he has already fulfilled the promise, you treat him well.

Here the same principle is used as with drugs, first the husband gets a "high", and then - "breaking", which will be in both cases.

Actually, the time has come to draw a conclusion from what you have just read:

A man is not a robot, he does everything so as not to upset you, but he does not always succeed, and this is a fact. You should not demand from a man those actions that will be clearly beyond his power, and the point is not even the complexity of this particular task, but the complexity of the general task that he needs to complete during a given period of time.

Perhaps even men lack women's faith in them. It is not enough for them to receive food and sex from you. They want to know for sure and understand that you appreciate them, you should be proud of him. Let him, at least sometimes, take a break, and then he will definitely always delight you with his actions.

I had a friend. One day he says to me: “Lend me some money. Seven thousand rubles.

It happened at the beginning of the 2000s, the amount at that time was considerable. Or does it feel like that to me now? No matter. Most importantly, he took the money and disappeared. Despite the fact that before that we communicated almost daily, on the whole we got along, and in general, nothing foreshadowed. However, he disappeared. Not immediately, but, as it should be in such cases, gradually.

The scenario was standard: at first - assurances that he would give it back soon, then he stopped picking up the phone when I called him. Called back less and less, began to ignore my text messages and slowly but surely descended from the horizon.

The nuance is that I, with all our close communication did not know where he worked (they talked about something else), and it was difficult and somehow stupid to guard him at the house on the other side of the city. We also didn't have any mutual friends. In short, everything is one to one. And now half a year passes, I already begin to forget (without leaving, however, the dream of breaking his arms and legs), how Seryozha calls. He asks for forgiveness without explaining - to his credit - the reasons, since any explanation in such a situation would be a senseless lie, even if it turned out to be true. He assures that he will return the money - with excusable interest in excess of what was taken. On Thursday, after eight, you will be at home, I will call? Yes, I will answer. Great, he says. Sorry again.

Eight months later. I cross the road, and the first in the far right lane in front of the traffic lights is his car. I unfold Vedomosti, put it on the hood and sit on top. "Give me my money, I'm waiting," I say. He gets out, takes out his wallet, digs, pulls out half the amount. No, they say, forgive me, and that's what it is. The rest when I ask - and I understand that it is useless: everything will be as it was before. I'll give it to you by the end of the week, he says. And got back into the car.

What could I do? Give him a face? It would be nice. I tried. True, when I grabbed the door, it turned out that it was blocked. I had to hammer on this very door with my foot, leaving a decent dent. These are your pardonable percentages, I say. He, without opening the window, read his lips and drove off.

In this story, only one thing is surprising - Sergey turned out to be not who I thought he was. Everything else is generally understandable. It is interesting, however, that the question is - why appear after six months, if it is already clear that there will be no money? - arose only in women to whom I told this story. Moreover, they reacted very emotionally, and Sergei caused them, as a rule, terrible, burning hatred. Okay, I took it and didn’t return it, but why call and promise if you still deceive, they said, referring not so much to me as to their heartfelt, as I understand it, experience. Simply put, they projected the classic money scam onto the male scam in general.

What could I say to them? That their question is rhetorical and eternal? That making promises is more dangerous than not wanting to make them? That promises are a credit of trust, which, although taken on favorable conditions- without interest, - still remains a loan. And this, as you know, is a scheme in which the one who took it will always be glad not to return what was taken. And the creditor will inevitably begin to cause irritation.

Here you also need to keep in mind the difference between the promises that men make to each other and the promises to women. In the first case, the failure to fulfill the promise is just a fact in itself, in the second - a fact and a bunch of aggravating circumstances: where he promised, how he looked, how many days (exact number) he didn’t call, what he was wearing (“that idiotic green hat of his ... that's how I felt, you can't trust a man in a hat like that!").

“Women talk to each other the same way men talk to men. But women always pay attention to details” - Amy Winehouse was right three hundred times.

A woman wants to take a word from a man, she often insists and at the same time always admits that she will be deceived. Such, you know, the feverish trembling of a card player who put everything on the line and follows the distribution. "Fulfill the promise" - one of the fetishes of the weaker sex in relation to the stronger sex, important point in the list of traits of his perfect, well, you know, " a real man always keeps his word.

It is, in general, correct and understandable: the one who can be responsible for his words is cool and wide-backed (behind which, of course, any woman really wants to hide, even if she herself goes for a technical inspection and without outside help mastered the iPad). At the same time, the inability to keep promises is almost the main complaint against men. Google it keywords“man” and “promises” - the three most popular options will automatically appear in the window: “man does not keep promises”, “man does not keep promises” and - only the third number - “man keeps promises”. Moreover, if you break through this most optimistic option, links to texts with the headings “Why men do not keep their promises”, “Empty and false promises of men about love supposedly loved ones ...” and “How to make a man keep his promises” will fall out. Hmmm, that's it, reputation.

Not in self-defense, but I note: most often a man promises something that he will not fulfill, for two reasons: in an effort to wishful thinking (to show himself better than he really is, to get the notorious credit of trust) or hoping to get away from the conflict, hoping to put out the fire with magic words"I promise". Although no, I’m lying, there is a third reason, and it is very important. This is female pressure. It sounds pathetic, but nevertheless, let's admit, girls, that you often put pressure on us, creating a situation in which it is almost impossible not to promise. Although no one argues, the man has his own head on his shoulders, and if he blurted out something without thinking, under the influence of the moment, this hardly justifies him.

I'm not saying that every empty promise we make is the woman's fault, and, of course, the man who hung noodles on the lady's ears takes full responsibility for what was said. However, female blackmail, often, perhaps, and unreasonable, is a common thing. Tears, pouting lips. Offended tone. Denial of sex. Anything goes. I'm wrong?

While you're throwing rocks at me, I'll tell you a story. Examples of the classic male deceit every woman has enough memory in her stash, so I won't add fuel to the fire. My story is happy ending which, however, no one imagined.

A friend of mine dated a girl for several years. Oddly enough, the girl did not really dream of marriage, but she wanted a child. And slowly but surely led to that. The friend recoiled. It’s not that he didn’t want to, it’s not that he didn’t love his girlfriend - well, he was just afraid of the unknown, which is why he hesitated. But the nuts were tightened, and at some point there was nowhere to retreat.

Into one beautiful winter night- under the influence of the moment again - my friend promised that he would give his beloved for her birthday everything she wanted. A friend wanted a child. Okay, the friend said and began to count how much he had left to live. Birthday was scheduled for December 15th. There were two weeks left. Of course he deceived her.

Conception did not happen. What he said there, what reasons he composed, is not important now. The main thing is that the project did not take place. There was a hell of a scandal, a friend packed up and left. On New Year's Eve, they crossed paths in the apartment of mutual friends, and the friends specially arranged everything - they invited both. Friends, on the one hand, behaved incorrectly, interfered in someone else's personal life, but, on the other hand, they did everything right. In short, the couple met, quarreled again, and reconciled closer to the morning. They still conceived a child - however, almost a year later, in November, and this is the very case when it is better to be late. Why is it better late?

because New Year was 1998. There was a default in August. Both lost their jobs. By November, things had more or less improved - not that the work was decent, but it was drawn in principle, which was already cool in that situation. Then everything began to improve and by the summer almost returned to its original positions. Their son was born in July 1999. And could - if they had conceived on December 15, 1997 - be born understandably when, consider for yourself. Without keeping his word, my friend made big problems, but avoided even bigger ones: giving birth to a child in the midst of a crisis is, you know, not a fountain.

Of course, this is just an accident, an exception to the rule, which does not at all justify the failure to comply with this word, but the winners are not judged, right?

Barbra Streisand once said, "I could put together a whole book of promises men made to me in bed." Remember these golden words, and your life will be much easier.

And finally. If a man promises and NEVER keeps his word, this is a diagnosis. Draw conclusions as quickly as possible. If slips happen...well, they just happen, you have to be careful in your judgments here. And consider each mistake separately.

Yes, and I have a request for you - well, don't push me. And then we know these bends of female logic.

She is: I want this and that.

He: I can not. (Tears, lips, denial of sex.)

He: OK then.

She is: Promise?

He:(with a sigh) Yes.

He did not keep his promise.

She is: You lied to me! Why?

He: Because you pressured me!

She is: SO YOU SHOULD NOT GIVE IN! WOULD STAND ON YOUR OWN! OR YOU ARE NOT A MAN?

After all, women are fantastic creatures. Thank you for being you.

PS. The friend that was discussed at the beginning, the one who threw me for money, many years later was left without a business. He lent everything he had, hoping to get a solid commission. And he did not receive anything - neither commission, nor what he gave. It's not my fault. But when I found out, as you understand, I did not cry. Still, a credit of trust, hmm, a thin thing.

Men's love for all kinds of promises has long been a topic for jokes and anecdotes. Psychologists say that 60% of the stronger sex with enviable regularity shower women with promises that they are not even going to fulfill. Is it possible to wean a man from this bad habit Or to force to fulfill the promised in time?

Women often complain that men absolutely do not want to put into practice the promises they once made. One promises his wife luxury for years mink coat, the second one has been forgetting to book a table in an expensive restaurant for two weeks now, the third one is going to give his beloved a vacation in Bali every year ... In many couples, the list women's expectations and men's promises, as if hanging in the air for an indefinite period, are constantly replenished. Such uncertainty destabilizes the psychological balance of a woman, she becomes nervous and irritable. This nervousness sincerely surprises a man, so he writes it off for stress and PMS. Some of them manage with their promises to put the family at risk of divorce. What are the causes of male "amnesia"?

Why do men make obviously impossible promises?

To fix a lover, you first need to understand the motives similar behavior. Men make a vow, and then just as easily refuse it for various reasons. The most popular among them are the following.

pathological lies. The worst option is that your partner is used to lying always and to everyone, and he himself no longer distinguishes lies from the truth. He does not want and cannot be honest, because he considers sincerity boring and banal. After all, the world of illusions seems much more attractive than the harsh reality. Do not hope to remake it - such a man will stop lying to others only after undergoing a long course of treatment with a psychologist.

Lies to the rescue. Common cause for male lies- an unhealthy climate in relationships. With promises of expensive gifts and romantic trips, your partner is trying to solve an urgent problem. For example, he lies that he will quit his low-paying job tomorrow so that you stop the tantrum.

Manipulation. Most often, a man practices manipulating promises on initial stages romantic relationships. The reason is simple - he wants to put you to bed as soon as possible. Therefore, he will not fail to mention the seriousness of his intentions, even if he is not going to continue communication after the first sex. If you do not take this bait, he will promise you material stability or love to the grave - anything, if only you fell into his arms. You will not have time to complain that he did not fulfill his promises - in the morning the knight will disappear forever.

Banal forgetfulness. Yes, among them there are indeed characters who forget about their obligations in just a few hours. A man may lose sight of his own promise due to employment or fatigue.

Psychological pressure. Before the assertiveness of some women, men are simply not able to resist. Usually, false promises are given after harsh ultimatums (either you will fulfill my request, or we will part) or demands (buy a fur coat, nail a shelf, make repairs, part with a mistress). The partner has no choice but to agree with the demands of his beloved "terrorist". Although he does not intend to fulfill them at all.

How to make a man turn a promise into reality?

First, learn how to properly evaluate men's promises. Some of them are a priori not destined to be fulfilled. If you know that your husband's salary is clearly not enough for a trip abroad, then why do you hope that he will somehow contrive and take you to Goa? The womanizer who carnivorously evaluates every girl who passes by will never faithful husband. Learn to look soberly at unrealizable promises - fence yourself off from unnecessary experiences and suffering.

Do not try to achieve what you want with blackmail and threats. The best way to teach a man to fulfill his own obligations - to talk heart to heart with him. Tell your soulmate that this attitude hurts your soul. That you place empty hopes on him, which clearly do not contribute to the construction healthy relationships. His lies will bring nothing but malice and hatred.

Your sense of responsibility trump card. The partner must understand that every time he promises to find a job or fix your car, you are counting on his help. Are you planning your later life, based on the promise, so any deviation from the plan may adversely affect your health, career or children.

Do not demand from him what you yourself cannot give him. If you yourself keep your promises every other time, it’s stupid to force a man to remember all these obligations. You will have to play by the same rules that you want to set for your lover.

If you have tried all of the above methods, but you have not managed to re-educate a man, you will have to go to extreme measures. Treat him the same way he treats you. Promise to wash clothes and accidentally "forget" to turn on washing machine. Let go of the fact that he wanted to watch a football game and go visit friends. You will need acting talent - a man should be in your shoes, and not feel mockery.

Understanding whether your man is going to keep his word is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. Promises that are close to reality usually have a specific date, term and conditions for fulfillment. "Maybe", "probably" and "probably" should not be taken too seriously.