"Child-parent conflict." Methodological seminar for teachers and parents

conflict children's parent family

The most important technique for optimizing your relationship with your child is active listening. Actively listening to a child means “returning” to him in a conversation what he told you, while indicating his feelings. Listening to a child:

) Turn to face him. Make sure that your eyes and the child's eyes are at the same level - this will provide a feeling of trust and create optimal conditions for psychological contact.

) Do not ask questions (especially if the child is upset); it is better to talk in an affirmative manner. This is important because a phrase constructed as a question does not express sympathy.

) In a conversation, “keep a pause.” After each remark, the parent needs to be silent for a while. Time now belongs to the child. A pause helps the child understand his feelings and at the same time makes the child feel more fully that the parent is nearby.

) Sometimes it is useful to repeat what you understand happened to the child, and then identify his feeling.

Conversation based on the principle of active listening is unusual in our culture, but it allows you to achieve the following results:

• a) the child’s negative experience disappears or greatly weakens;
• b) the child becomes convinced that the adult is ready to listen to him, and begins to tell him even more about himself;
• c) genuine trust is established between the child and parents;
• d) the child himself makes progress in solving his problem, which means he becomes more independent, mature, and adapted;
• e) the child learns to actively listen to his loved ones;
• f) parents begin to understand their child better.

Most optimal result conflict resolution - finding a compromise between the wishes and needs of the parents and the wishes and needs of the child. This result is quite easy to achieve.

V.V. Stolin offers a step-by-step model for resolving a conflict situation.

) Clarification of the conflict situation. First, the parent listens to the child, clarifies what his problem is, namely: what he wants or doesn’t want, what he needs or is important, what makes it difficult for him, etc. The parent talks about his desire or his problem, about how he sees the situation, what suits him about it, and what he doesn’t like about the situation.

) Method of proposals. The stage begins with the question: “What should we do?” After this, you must wait and give the child the opportunity to be the first to express his problems. At first, proposals are simply typed, without criticism or analysis. Then parents offer their points of view on this matter.

) Evaluating proposals and choosing the most optimal one. At this stage, proposals are discussed. The previous steps have already helped to create an atmosphere of trust, cooperation, and readiness for discussion. It is important not to destroy this atmosphere with overly harsh criticism or authoritarianism.

) Detail decision taken. It is necessary to determine how the solution will be implemented in real life.

) Execution of the decision, verification. The decision is carried out by all family members. If a child has ever failed to fulfill his obligations, do not criticize and condemn him; It’s better to just ask how things are going for him, whether it’s working out; then the child himself will tell about the failures and ask for your help. Parental authority does not suffer in this case, because authority is not authoritarian pressure on the child and the unshakable supremacy of the parent in all matters. Authority is a person whose influence on the actions of others is based on the recognition and respect of those around him for his opinions, his personal qualities, competence, fairness, and flexibility.

Thus, conflict resolution implies such an organization of the life activities of children and parents that eliminates or minimizes the likelihood of conflicts arising between them. Conflict resolution activities can be carried out both by the parents and children themselves, and by a third party (teacher, psychologist, conflict specialist). Also quite a lot an important condition conflict prevention is the resolution of intrapersonal conflicts. Only a person living in harmony with himself can effectively solve interpersonal problems.

Conclusions to Chapter 2

The most favorable version of the relationship between parents and children is when they experience a stable need for mutual communication, show frankness, mutual trust, equality in relationships, when parents are able to understand the child’s world and his age-related needs. Fewer orders, commands, threats, reading morals, and more ability to listen and hear each other, the desire to find joint solutions, arguments, observations.

Conflict resolution involves organizing the life activities of children and parents in such a way that eliminates or minimizes the likelihood of conflicts arising between them. Conflict resolution activities can be carried out both by the parents and children themselves, and by a third party (teacher, psychologist, conflict specialist). Also an important condition for preventing conflict is the resolution of intrapersonal conflicts.

Family is the stronghold of human civilization. The culture and life position of each person is often laid down by family and friends. Unfortunately, no association of people, including a family, is complete without conflicts and quarrels. Mutual grievances can accumulate in people's memories for years, leading to indifference or even hatred between family members.

To understand why conflicts arise between parents and children, you need to take an impartial look at this problem. The first and most important step in solving problems between family members is to stop the flow of negative emotions, soberly assess the situation, listen to the child or spouse. Only a joint resolution of the conflict can bring satisfaction to both sides.

Conflicts between parents and children. Causes

The most pressing topic for most families is the problems of relationships between parents and their offspring. Quarrels and confrontations between adults and children are inevitable, but often wrong methods their resolutions create lasting hostility between people that can last for decades. Is satisfying your ego worth it?

Conflicts between parents and children are inevitable, but you can minimize the harm from them by understanding the main reasons why they arise. For example, parents can dominate their child in every possible way.

Force the child to obey them in everything, impose their views on the world on him. Such relationships will certainly bring satisfaction to authoritarian parents, but over time their offspring will begin to adopt moral values in adults he himself will become a selfish tyrant, which will lead to insoluble conflicts. However, too soft an attitude towards raising a child can bring no less bitter fruits.

Excessive concern

Some parents are so protective of their children that they cause irreparable harm their character. Such children are not able to take care of themselves. Caring parents throughout their lives instilled in them a sense of their own uniqueness and specialness. But when such a special child comes out into the world, it turns out that those around him are not ready to make concessions to him, causing a lot of negative emotions in the spoiled child.

Naturally, the little family pet will definitely bring home the negativity received at school or on the street, which leads to inevitable quarrels and conflicts. Overprotectiveness- one of the reasons why quarrels arise between children and parents.

Conflict resolution in favor of parents

When conflicts between parents and children arise, the resolution options are usually either in favor of the children or in favor of the parents. Both options are wrong, but let's consider the option when the parent speaks his weighty word, forcing the child to submit and do what is required of him.

Many adults mistakenly believe that such an attitude strengthens and accustoms him to responsibility. But, in fact, the child simply learns to resolve anything based only on his own desires, neglecting the desires of other people. Such a selfish attitude towards people will sooner or later make itself felt, because someday the child will repay his strict parents in the same coin.

With authoritarian parenting methods, severe conflicts in the relationship between parents and children are inevitable. Moreover, coldness and alienation can accompany the relationship between children and their parents throughout the rest of their lives. So, does this mean we need to indulge our children in everything and make concessions to them everywhere?

Conflict resolution in favor of the child

Many people wonder about this, but few seek to find out how to properly resolve such issues. As we have already found out, some parents strive to resolve any conflicts with their children purely in their favor.

It is true that there are those who try to do everything for their beloved baby, constantly sacrificing their interests in favor of the child.

This approach turns an unhappy child into an egoist, unable to understand other people and establish normal communication with them. Also a victim good attitude will not be able to resolve conflicts outside of his family, because people at school or on the street will not make concessions, which will lead a child, spoiled by parental kindness, into a depressed state.

Collaborative conflict resolution

Conflicts between parents and children have a huge impact on character development. The causes of quarrels, as well as the methods for resolving them, leave an indelible imprint on the child. Unfortunately, parents are not used to taking into account the opinions of their little pets, preferring to decide everything for them.

But joint resolution of conflicts is the only correct solution! By talking to each other and trying to understand and accept the desires and interests of the conflicting parties, the conflict can be resolved in a way that benefits everyone. This will not only save your nerves and strengthen relationships, but will also teach your child to competently solve problems in the outside world.

Is it possible to avoid conflicts?

Quite normal phenomenon- conflicts between parents and children. Problems to solve similar situations the fact that the conflicting parties do not want to listen to each other, which leads to a lack of mutual understanding between them. All you need to do is have a heart-to-heart talk. For many, it is much easier to guess why conflicts arise between parents and children than to simply ask about it.

Don't be afraid frank conversation, since these are the moments that help create between representatives of different generations. Modern parents simply do not consider it necessary to perceive their children as equals; as a result, many of them face a lonely old age.

In a close family circle it is impossible to avoid conflicts, because they are an integral part of interaction between people. However, if you solve unpleasant moments together and constantly consult with each other, then the negativity from conflict situations will quickly pass without leaving a trace.

At what age do conflicts most often arise?

The most violent and ruthless quarrels begin when children reach adolescence. It is during this period that they most often strive to express their indignation and escape from parental control. Teenagers develop new, strange tastes or crazy desires imposed by fashion.

You shouldn’t scold your child for wanting to get a tattoo or piercing; it’s better to start a conversation and find out what prompted him to take this step. Explain that upon reaching adulthood, the child will be able to do what he wants, because by this age the wave of teenage maximalism begins to subside and a person’s tastes become less extreme. Why do conflicts arise between parents and children? Because of misunderstanding. Adolescence is precisely the time when children need understanding the most, don’t forget about it.

Why do conflicts arise between parents and children?

Misunderstanding and unwillingness to take into account each other's interests are often the main causes of conflicts in the family. As a result, happy turns into slowly devouring each other. All this can be avoided if you build relationships on understanding and mutually beneficial cooperation. The majority so that everyone is satisfied, you just need to stop being guided only by your desires and interests. Build democratic and respectful relationships in your family now, and you can avoid conflicts in the future!

The resolution of child-parent conflicts is based, first of all, on anticipating and blocking sources of conflict. Usually, people already in a pre-conflict situation are able to understand that problems have arisen that can cause complications in their relationships. In many cases, these problems can be resolved without waiting for a conflict to arise.

When problems arise in the relationship between parents and children, parents, as a rule, see the reason in the changed behavior of the children. And they expect, accordingly, that the child should change, come to his senses, and begin to obey. Parental attempts to solve these problems, as a consequence, are also aimed at causing changes in the child's behavior. If the relationship with parents begins to be perceived as a problem by the child himself, then he almost certainly sees the reasons exactly the opposite and expects the parents to change their behavior. However, none of them is right when they try to solve the problems that have arisen by changing the behavior of the other party to the conflict. This is a dead-end path that only leads to worsening conflict and exacerbation of mutual grievances. You can really change the behavior of only one person - yourself. Attempts to influence other people most often only lead to alienation.

If there is a conflict between a child and parents, then usually its severity begins to decrease from the moment when the parents recognize that the child has already grown up and begin to treat him as a person who bears independent responsibility for his actions. Most of the reasons for conflict simply disappear.

A particularly important condition for preventing child-parent conflict is compliance with the following principles in family education:

Humanity and mercy towards a growing person;

Involving children in the life of the family as its equal participants;

Openness and trust in relationships with children;

Optimistic relationships in the family;

Consistency in your demands (do not demand the impossible);

Providing all possible assistance to your child, willingness to answer questions.

To optimize the relationship A.A. Osipova offers methods for resolving child-parent conflicts such as:

1. Family ritual. The technique belongs to the structural methods of psycho correctional work in family relationships.

The purpose of structural techniques is to reorganize the system so that its members can move from one position to another, from one role to another, to establish and maintain adequate boundaries between positions in the system, and thus encourage the system to reorganize itself.

Structural techniques are especially important and are used in the initial stages of correctional work. The main thing for a psychologist in this system is to join the system and at the same time not to be absorbed by it. Working with the family as a system creates new system- psychocorrectional, which includes: structuring the process (rules of the game); empathy (agreement on how the new group will work - family + psychologist)

The psychologist lets clients know that he hears, understands and values ​​them in themselves, that they are self-valuable and self-sufficient.

Structural techniques are used to solve the following problems:

Creating movement. Clients feel that they are “stuck” in their actual current situation and do not know how to get out of it. Structural moves immediately cause a change in the situation. This encourages the client to further movement. Freeing a child from parental role can create space for the parent and stimulate his movement towards greater competence, taking on the parental role.

Changing perspectives. By playing new roles, clients take a new position in the family system and begin to follow new rules. This encourages them to look at things from a different perspective and find new meanings for old facts.

Redistribution of power. By joining various subsystems, a psychologist can increase the significance of one relative for another, overcome inequality, or break the dead ends that confrontation has led to. Supporting parents in their role as creators of family rules and supporting children in their need for respect and greater responsibility can serve as an example of such alliances.

Destruction of coalitions. Sometimes two or more people unite to oppose others. For example, one parent and child team up to confront the other parent. In this case, it is necessary to do everything possible to destroy this alliance and stop the child’s interference in the affairs of the parents.

Formation of new alliances. Clients can be assisted in their efforts to unite and joint activities. For example, parents are helped to reach an agreement about their parental position and implementing it in practice.

Clarifying the boundaries between subsystems. The psychologist helps clients find out who, how and in what function is included in this subsystem; who is responsible for what. Reducing the number of overly rigid boundaries to support joint action is an example of issues that can be discussed.

One of the methods for implementing structural changes in the family system is the “family ritual” method. This is a technique designed to change the rules of the existing family game by changing the family structure and sustainable ways interactions in it. This version of the technique was developed by the Milan School of Family Therapy.

2. Social ritual is a system of actions jointly developed by group members, in which all types of behavior are defined in a strict sequence. Rituals are the main source of group cohesion and intragroup bonds. They serve regulatory regulation functioning of the group, coordinating the behavior of everyone to achieve a common goal. Examples of cultural and family rituals include funerals and mourning ceremonies, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, graduations, and other events special to a given group.

Repetitive symptomatic patterns of interaction are present as ritual forms of behavior.

The family ritual technique is a kind of ritual created by a psychologist and prescribed to the family without any explanation, in the expectation that the required behavior will be carried out by family members by analogy. Special attention it focuses on specific prescribed actions, including timing, sequence, location details, and who should perform the required action and how.

It is quite difficult to come up with a suitable one for family system a ritual that would dysfunctionally replace an existing one. Therefore, a psychologist needs to thoroughly understand the functioning of the family system, to identify all those myths of a given dysfunctional family that are vital for its preservation. If the survival of the family is threatened, rigid rituals are created to serve the myth that promotes its preservation. To identify the family myth and the meaning of symptomatic behavior, the psychologist is forced to examine several generations of the family. After this, you can begin to develop a family ritual that can change the existing system and introduce new collective norms. If the family agrees to act in accordance with the prescribed ritual, it accepts the new norms, thus changing the functioning of its family system.

The “family ritual” technique dramatically illuminates existing family samples And family myths showing them to all family members. It paradoxically uses the rigid aspects of the family structure for positive change and promotes the emergence of new constructive patterns of behavior and behavioral norms as substitutes for dysfunctional patterns. The ritual functions at the level of metacommunication and analogy and therefore causes less resistance than direct interpretation of the symptom. Using this technique, the psychologist, following the family (and not opposing it), gradually changes the quality family relations.

The technique is especially effective in working with rigid families in which family ties are intertwined and confused, as well as with families in which one of the members is a carrier mental pathology. Rituals may also be prescribed to families with a lack of internal organization. In this case, the goal is to provide the family with structure and general forms verbal behavior, which contributes to intrafamily cohesion. For example, establishing a fixed time for a common family dinner, during which it is impossible to talk about acute family problems, criticize, complain, etc. During dinner, the family should discuss the events of the current day, the dreams of family members, what they are thinking about or what they are reading now. Another example is the requirement to compile a list of birthdays for family members and prepare in advance for each such event. The development of new customs and traditions is especially important for newly created families and families with adopted children.

3. Use of poetry. The use of poetry is proposed as a tool that allows a married couple to express themselves in a unique and non-threatening way, to adequately realize the ability to verbally express emotions, to bring more positive aspects to interaction with each other, as well as to change and effective communication. There are several ways to use poetry in working with an individual couple, with a married group and with a family. G The poem may be read by a psychologist or a group member who then asks the group to provide feedback about the poem as a whole or about a particular line or image.

The group is asked to write a poem together, with everyone writing one of the lines. The psychologist needs to identify the theme and evoke an emotional mood, ensuring that this mood or theme is maintained throughout the poem.

Poetic images and symbols are taken and formed from the dialogues of group members. Clients are asked to bring next lesson those poems that they consider useful for solving their own problems. Poetry acts as a mediator in the correctional process and helps to express those feelings that clients, for one reason or another, are afraid, uncomfortable, or uncomfortable to express in other forms. Clients who are not inclined to express their thoughts in words may experience significant difficulties with this technique. Thus, this technique is not suitable for people of low intellectual development or who have difficulty verbalizing their feelings.

5. Marriage Conference and Family Council. The techniques are meetings held regularly with a couple or family in which all family members have equal opportunity to participate. This is a method created to improve family relationships and increase their intensity.

There are four reasons why a family council should be held:

1. To enable family members to communicate freely with each other.

2. To avoid strong emotional outbursts in family.

3. To teach family members (both children and adults) democratic methods of conflict resolution.

4. To maintain harmony and peace in the family.

A psychologist arranges a conference or consultation for clients as a homework, subsequently they can become rituals of a given family. Consultants married couples and families use this technique for the development and enrichment life experience family members as an effective psychocorrective remedy.

If the psychologist comes to the conclusion that it is necessary to improve communication between spouses, then he invites them to consider the possibility of regular meetings between him and family members. In this case, the time, place and frequency of meetings are specifically specified.

The time allotted for the conference should be completely devoted to each other, excluding any outside interference. If this idea is accepted, the spouses choose a time convenient for both, when they can communicate with each other and be in good physical and mental shape, and also agree to follow the rules, a list of which is presented by the psychologist right there at the meeting. These rules can be varied to adapt them to the specific problems and needs of a given family.

6. Parent seminar. A.S. Spivakovskaya proposed this technique to solve the problems of changing the sphere of consciousness and self-awareness of parents and systems of social-perceptual stereotypes, as well as real forms of interaction in the family.

The main psychocorrectional task is to change people’s attitudes towards their own family life and the tasks of education. At the seminar, the spouses’ perception of each other is improved, the idea of ​​their child changes, and the palette of pedagogical techniques for influencing the child, which are already tested at home, in everyday life, by parents, is expanded.

During the seminar, parents discuss and reflect on their family relationships, exchange experiences, and independently, during a group discussion, develop ways to resolve family conflicts.

Thus, the most favorable version of the relationship between parents and children is when they experience a stable need for mutual communication, show frankness, mutual trust, equality in relationships, when parents are able to understand the child’s world and his age-related needs. Fewer orders, commands, threats, reading morals, and more ability to listen and hear each other, the desire to find joint solutions, arguments, observations.

Causes of conflicts in parent-child relationships

Family relationships are viewed through the prism of the child’s perception of the world around him. The child’s behavior and his personal characteristics are determined not only by the real conditions of family life, but also by their perception and the degree of internal activity of the child.

Conflicts and various kinds of problems can be noticed in every family. But, even despite all the difficulties, some families generally support peaceful life. But parents and children in other families constantly quarrel over trifles and more. Child-parent relationships, on the one hand, act as regulators of the behavior of their participants, and on the other hand, they mediate the development of the child’s personality. These relationships are manifested in a system of various feelings, experiences, the style of communication between parents and children, and behavioral stereotypes practiced in this communication.

Numerous studies of parent-child relationships (L.S. Vygotsky, L.I. Bozhovich, S. Hall, etc.) emphasize its critical, transitional nature, when the child’s previous relationships to himself, to others and to the world are broken and rebuilt generally. These dramatic changes give rise to inevitable conflicts of the developing personality, both with other people and with oneself.

Domestic psychologists (G.A. Shevchuk, A.S. Shevchuk, O.V. Nakonechnaya) identify three types of psychological determinants of conflict in parent-child relationships. These are determinants associated with psychophysiological characteristics of development (features nervous system); actual psychological determinants - personality characteristics (level of self-esteem, character accentuation); social determinants - micro- and macroenvironmental factors.

The causes of conflicts between children and parents have age dynamics, reflecting the development of the leading needs of each age: among younger children, conflicts related to studies predominate (decrease in academic performance and loss of interest in learning), among older children, the most common cause of conflicts with parents is “discrepancy in views on life”, reluctance to accept the parents’ point of view.

The real causes of conflict are sometimes difficult to detect due to various psychological factors. Firstly, in any conflict, the rational principle is usually hidden behind emotions. Secondly, real reasons conflicts can be reliably hidden and psychologically protected in the depths of the subconscious and appear on the surface only in the form of motivations acceptable to the self-concept. Thirdly, the causes of conflicts can be elusive due to the so-called law of circular causation (causality) of relationships.

In a conflict, there is undoubtedly a risk of destruction of relations, the danger of not overcoming the crisis, but there is also a favorable opportunity to reach new level relationships, constructively overcoming the crisis and gaining new life opportunities.

O.E. Smirnova identifies several types of family conflicts that parents may encounter in the process of raising children. And you should not assume that the older your child gets, the more often various quarrels may arise. In fact, conflicts with children begin at any age.

1. Type of intrafamily relationships. There are harmonious and disharmonious types of family relationships. In a harmonious family, a fluid balance is established, which manifests itself in the design of the psychological roles of each family member, the formation of a family “We”, and the ability of family members to resolve contradictions.

One of the approaches to defining a problematic family is the work of the famous domestic psychologist A. Spivakovskaya. She highlights special types so-called "disharmonious" family unions”, emphasizing that the difficulty of achieving marital and parental harmony lies in the fact that each of the psychological patterns that determine marital and parental behavior contains internal conflict and contradiction.

2. Destructiveness of family education. The following features of destructive types of education are distinguished:

* disagreements among family members on issues of education;

* inconsistency, inconsistency, inadequacy;

* guardianship and prohibitions in many areas of children's lives;

* increased demands on children, frequent use of threats and condemnations.

D.N. Isaev studied families that included a physically or mentally disabled person (and this could be both a child and a parent). The author emphasizes that physical and mental disability can have an adverse effect on both the general well-being of the family and the entire system of relationships as a whole.

3. Age-related crises of children are considered as factors of their increased conflict. The age crisis is a transition period from one stage of child development to another. During critical periods, children become disobedient, capricious, and irritable. They often come into conflict with others, especially with their parents. They develop a negative attitude towards previously fulfilled requirements, reaching the point of stubbornness. D.V. Elkonin identifies the following age-related crises in children:

* first year crisis (transition from infancy to early childhood);

* crisis of “three years” (transition from early childhood to school age);

* crisis of 6-7 years (transition from preschool to primary school age);

* crisis of puberty (transition from primary school to adolescence - 12-14 years);

* teenage crisis 15-17 years old.

4. Personal factor. Among the personal characteristics of parents that contribute to their conflicts with children are a conservative way of thinking, adherence to outdated rules of behavior and bad habits(drinking alcohol, etc.), authoritarian judgments, orthodoxy of beliefs, etc. Among the personal characteristics of children are such as low academic performance, violations of the rules of behavior, ignoring the recommendations of parents, as well as disobedience, stubbornness, selfishness and egocentrism, self-confidence, laziness, etc. Thus, the conflicts in question can be presented as the result of mistakes made by parents and children.

Increased conflict in parent-child relationships is one of the aspects negative influence family education, the specifics of which are determined by the very nature of the family as a group of people who have blood ties among themselves. In this case, the priority role in resolving conflicts with the child is given to the parent.

Thus, conflicts between parents and children often arise due to the type of intrafamily relationships, destructiveness of upbringing, expressed in various errors in educational influence, the child’s age crisis, personal factors, i.e. properties and qualities of the individual, both the child and the parent.

Conclusions to Chapter 1

Thus, having studied child-parent conflicts As a psychological and pedagogical problem, the following conclusions can be drawn:

1. Conflict is a normal manifestation of social connections and relationships between people, a way of interaction when incompatible views, positions and interests collide, a confrontation between two or more parties that are interconnected but pursuing their own goals. Consequently, the main task is to give the conflict as functional a positive character as possible, to minimize the inevitable damage from its negative consequences.

2. In a conflict situation, the actual needs of family members may be blocked, which, in turn, may cause a symptom to appear in one of them - most often in a child. The latter becomes a carrier of the symptom, which allows maintaining old, established relationships between family members.

3. Conflicts between parents and children often arise due to the type of intrafamily relationships, destructiveness of upbringing, expressed in various errors in educational influence, the child’s age crisis, personal factors, i.e. properties and qualities of the individual, both the child and the parent.

State budgetary educational institution

average vocational education

"Labinsk Medical College"

Ministry of Health of the Krasnodar Territory"

Methodological development of the seminar

on this topic:

“Child-parent conflict

and ways to prevent it ”.

for teachers, class teachers

educational psychologist

Odintsova S.V.

Considered by the cycle committee

general education subjects

Protocol No. _____from ____________

Chairman: ________ A.G. Kiva

Labinsk, 2015

CONTENT OF METHODOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT

Section names

1. Explanatory note

2. Relevance

3. Introduction

4. Causes of child-parent conflicts

5. Psychological conflict in parent-child relationships

6. Conditions for preventing conflict

7. Conflict resolution

8.Conclusion

9.References

10.Applications (1,2)

EXPLANATORY NOTE

This methodological development is aimed at preventing child-parent conflicts, studying methods for resolving them, teaching parents one of the communication techniques that promotes the harmonization of child-parent relationships. The main questions that the topic of the seminar reveals:

Causes of conflict situations;

Methods for identifying the problem (finding out the reasons for the unacceptable behavior of a child or adult) and analyzing it;

Solutions to a conflict situation are possible.

The methodological development material is aimed at teachers and parents of teenagers aged 14-17 years.

As a result of the seminar, the following skills are acquired:

Ability to find a compromise;

The ability to apply acquired skills in anticipation of possible educational difficulties;

Application of active listening techniques in personal practice.

Form of conduct seminar : group

Seminar slogan:

Angry - be patient, cool down a little,

Give in to reason, give up your anger.

Breaking any ruby ​​is short and easy,

But it is impossible to put the pieces back together again.

Saadi, the great Persian

writer and thinker.

The main objectives of the seminar are: ·

Theoretical justification for the need to work to prevent conflicts in parent-child relationships;

Carrying out diagnostic study interpersonal relationships in the family;

Selection of training exercises that help resolve conflict situations.

Relevance

holding this seminar among teachers

Conflict in parent-child relationships refers to family conflict, and is the main cause of emotional stress and neuroses. And even people who love each other are not immune from these conflicts. The point is that for family well-being, in addition to all other conditions, a person needs certain knowledge of psychology, pedagogy, medicine, etc. from this point of view, it is especially important to consider the problem of conflicts between parents and children. Conflict refers to the most sharp way resolving significant contradictions that arise in the process of interaction between the parties. Family and household conflicts, which inevitably arise in parent-child relationships, are the most common topic not only in professional psychological publications, but also in everyday conversation of ordinary people. In the sphere of parent-child relationships, the factor of relationships between spouses raising children plays an important role. Often, conflicts between parents affect the well-being of children. Constant dissatisfaction of spouses with each other, problems in the sphere of intimate relationships, affect their attitude towards the child, and the child, in turn, feels disharmony and his behavior becomes very conflicting. Family conflicts have psychotraumatic consequences: a state of global family dissatisfaction, “family anxiety”, neuropsychic tension, a state of guilt.

The mechanisms of family integration, in particular the relationships between its members, play a huge role in the educational process. Their violation entails significant adverse consequences.

Engage in timely diagnosis and prevention of child-parent conflicts in educational institutions extremly necessary.

By preventing the negative impact of unfavorable psychosocial factors on a child by correcting mental perception, it is possible to provide primary psychoprophylactic assistance to the child and rehabilitation support to his family.

INTRODUCTION

A conflict is an acute clash of oppositional interests, goals, views, leading to opposition from the subjects of the conflict and accompanied by negative feelings from their side.

The collision of subjects occurs in the process of their interaction: in communication, actions directed towards each other, and behavior.

Basic methods, which allow you to collect the most complete information about the conflict in the study:

– method of classifying and identifying conflicts into similar types;

– structurally - functional method;

– procedural - dynamic method;

– permissive;

– prognostic.

The latter method is responsible for forecasting conflict situations, anticipating possible clashes and appropriate preparation for them. The permissive method is the permitted procedures and technologies for conflict management. There is clearly an applied value of the knowledge gained here. The first three methods allow you to explain and describe the essence of any conflict, identify its components, understand the subject and object of the conflict in order to subsequently competently determine actions to resolve the contradiction.

The structural-functional method reveals the structure of the conflict and the functions of each component. However, this method analyzes the conflict in a state divorced from reality and outside its dynamics. This compensates for the procedural-dynamic approach, which allows us to identify the stages of conflict development and determine the nature of the dynamics. This method research is characterized by an in-depth and holistic representation of conflicts. Many conflicts or conflict interactions have common features and characteristics, and therefore can be classified into a general category or type. This is possible thanks to the typology method.

Behind the various forms of manifestation of conflict there may be common stable signs, so it is important to know and see objective essence conflict, determine its type. In the future, it will become possible to speculate on the course of events in this type of conflict interaction. Moreover, the classification method allows you to combine practical and theoretical knowledge about the conflict.

Related research methods:

– observation;

– survey;

– testing;

– experiments;

– modeling.

The main goal of conflict research methods is to develop a strategy for action in a conflict situation (forceful suppression, a strategy for avoiding conflict, searching for a compromise). The chosen strategy should be the most optimal for each specific conflict.

CAUSES OF CHILD-PARENT CONFLICTS

Domestic and foreign scientists have repeatedly noted that emotional condition and the development of children, their life and happiness directly depend on the attitude of their parents towards them. Analysis of scientific sources on the problems of family conflicts (A.I. Zakharov, S.V. Kovalev, H. Cornelius, S. Fair) made it possible to identify the following factors influencing the emergence and development of conflicts between parents and children:

1. The general aggressive background of modern society. At the same time, the child is the center of intersection of a whole complex of social problems (social, economic, psychological, legal);

2. Low level evolution of family and education institutions, their crisis in modern society, “parental immaturity” of the adult population;

3. Low level of culture of individuals and society as a whole.The level of development of the culture of feelings in many adults is not high.The inability to control emotions leads to the fact that adults take out their own dissatisfaction with life on family members, often on children;

4. Parents' own problems.Parents who physically or mentally abuse their children, as a rule, repeat the tragic experience of their own childhood, when they were exactly the same helpless victims of humiliation from their elders;

5. Parents lack warm, sincere feelings towards their childgrowing up in an atmosphere of parental emotional neglect.

6. Age characteristics of children. A child can involuntarily, subconsciously provoke parental discontent, expressing an unconscious childish protest and a naive way of attracting attention to himself. In addition, during critical periods of development, children become disobedient, capricious, and irritable. They often provoke conflict situations with others, especially with parents. They develop a negative attitude towards previously fulfilled requirements, reaching the point of stubbornness. Adults do not always understand the reasons for such behavior in children.

7. Low level of conflict management competence of parents. With all the variety of reasons for disagreement, the reason why conflicts arise between parents and children is always the same - the inability or unwillingness of the parent to find the right approach to the child and react correctly to his behavior.

In the sphere of parent-child relationships, the factor of relationships between spouses raising children plays an important role. Often, conflicts between parents affect the well-being of children.

The constant dissatisfaction of spouses with each other, problems in the sphere of intimate relationships, affect their attitude towards the child, and the child, in turn, feels disharmony and his behavior becomes very conflicting. Family conflicts have psycho-traumatic consequences: a state of global family dissatisfaction, “family anxiety”, nervous - mental stress, state of guilt.

PSYCHOLOGICAL CONFLICT IN CHILD-PARENT RELATIONSHIPS

There is probably no family where at least short-term conflicts between parents and children do not arise. Often the parents themselves are to blame for this.

It so happens that they do not understand the peculiarities of the psyche of children and adolescents and do not know their typical “behavioral reactions.” Sometimes the source of intra-family misunderstandings is a lack of medical knowledge.

For example, a baby has bedwetting, and the parents, not realizing that the child is not to blame for this, shame, ridicule, or even punish him. The child is nervous and embittered.

Sometimes a similar situation arises in the case of teenage masturbation. Another mother, suspecting this habit in her son, raises such a panic that it’s time to run away from home.

But, according to research by sex therapists, rarely do any teenage boys manage to bypass this “bypass path of sexual satisfaction.” Parents should know that at every age, children are prone to certain conflicts.

First of all, this applies to children brought up in single-parent family(usually without a father) or with normal parental relationships. The despotism of the father, who ignores the interests of all family members, the lack of warmth or hostility of parents towards each other creates favorable conditions for the development of neuroses in children.

Conflict can not only intensify, but also lead to the development of pathocharacterological reactions, neuroses, and the formation of psychopathic development based on accentuated traits if parents underestimate the specific character of their children. Conflicts between parents and children can also be due to mutual wrongs.

The pedagogical failure of parents, cruel, barbaric methods of education, or excessive spoiling of children can lead to complete mutual alienation and hostility between children and parents. Often, the life aspirations of children can cause conflicts in the family, and parents’ justified grief causes children’s one-sided hobbies to the detriment of their studies, and the emergence of harmful tendencies towards smoking, drinking, and drugs.

And although the parents are right, neither their children are usually convinced that it is not the parents who are right, but they themselves know better how to live. It is important for parents to understand the motives of their children’s aspirations, showing sufficient respect for their reasons and arguments, and convincingly revealing their own arguments.

Conflicts between parents and teenage children arise especially often. The fact is that during this “transition period” significant physiological and psychological changes occur in the body.

The most common psychological traits at this age are emotional instability, a combination of contradictory properties and aspirations. The increased need for teenagers to defend their independence and independence from the older generation, especially from their parents, is called “age-related emancipation.”

This phenomenon is necessary for the teenager to achieve maturity and independence in the future. And if sometimes in parent-child relationships this turns into a problem, then this is not so much a problem of adolescents as of their parents, who are too accustomed to perceive their child as a dependent, dependent being and completely subordinate to their will.

Often this conflict manifests itself most clearly in relationships not even with parents, but with grandparents. Building relationships not on the basis of equality, independence and trust, but on the basis of mutual subordination turns into conflict.

Parents for too long and persistently continue to perceive a teenager as a being incapable of making independent decisions and dependent on them even in small things. As soon as it stops, the conflict recedes into the background, the relationship becomes closer and more trusting.

It’s not that uncommon a situation when parents stubbornly try to “educate” their children, wanting to realize some of their expectations with their help, reasoning according to the principle: “Okay, I didn’t make a singer, but I’ll make my son a musician!” Often this is accompanied by a kind of sacrificial position of the parent: they say, I live for the sake of the child and will do for him everything that I consider necessary - it doesn’t matter whether he wants it or not.

This usually leads to conflict, since the child feels very well that he is seen as not independent personality with their own goals and dreams, but they are trying to force him to live someone else’s life. Naturally, this causes protest from older children.

Such a conflict, by the way, is typical only for those families where the parents failed to realize their plans and dreams, but not uncommonly for those where the parents managed to achieve a lot and acquire a significant status in society. Such parents usually have high expectations for their child, expecting him to “catch up and surpass” them.

SYMPTOMS AND ESCALATION FACTORS

Often in a conflict there is a rapid escalation of fighting, which indicates an escalation of the conflict. Escalation consists of a sharp intensification of the opponents' struggle.

Symptoms of escalation are: narrowing of the cognitive sphere, emergence of an image of the enemy, growth emotional stress, the transition to personal attacks, the growth of the hierarchical rank of violated and protected interests and their polarization, the use of violence, the loss of the original object of disagreement, the expansion of the boundaries of the conflict. The opposing sides mobilize additional forces and means, resources and counter-resources.

Things can reach an extreme point, a deadlock situation, when confrontation really threatens to turn into a self-destructive act. Escalation is preceded by the phase of choosing ways for further interaction between opponents.

There are two possible choices: either, given the current balance of power, seek reconciliation, reduce the level of tension in relations, make concessions and thus end the Conflict, transfer it again to a hidden form in order to subsequently return to the original conflict situation; or escalation, continuation of the conflict, bringing it to a higher degree of aggravation. The factors causing escalation are sensory-based clashes, emotions take over, which prevent participants in conflicts from looking at themselves from the outside, and fetter the freedom to choose methods of conflict behavior.

A sharp escalation of differences, reaching a position of direct confrontation, the parties attack each other, causing retaliatory actions and counteraction. There is an inevitable exchange of blows, the purpose of which is to attack the opponents’ positions and neutralize the threat from them.

Emotionally, such behavior is very often accompanied by an increase in aggressiveness, a transition from warning and hostility to psychological incompatibility and outright hostility. Therefore, it is important for the conflicting parties to act from the very beginning, relying on consciousness and intuition, limiting the manifestation of emotions, especially negative ones.

Escalation conflictin parent-child relationships occurs mainly due to a number of crises that children experience. In adolescents, this crisis manifests itself in a crisis of independence - accompanied by demonstrative stubbornness, obstinacy, complete denial of the authority of adults, and a hostile attitude towards any of their demands.

It’s as if a teenager is on the warpath with the entire world of adults and is fighting against any influence - no matter positive or negative. This struggle takes place in forms that are difficult and debilitating, especially for parents: for example, teenagers intuitively grasp what irritates them the most, and persistently do just that.

Parents value neatness and order - the teenager will be sloppy and create real chaos at home. If they don’t like scandals, he will provide them with a stormy showdown every night. And so on. Essentially, this is a way for a child to defend his freedom and show his parents their powerlessness.

Many parents, especially young ones, are bewildered and angry by children's negativism, which is characteristic primarily of two to five year olds. The child occasionally, without any reason, flatly refuses to obey any requirement or order.

And, as a rule, neither persuasion, nor threats, nor even physical punishment help. The kid sobs bitterly, but stands his ground.

True, later, having calmed down, he feels guilty and assures that “it won’t happen again.” These are life positions that, in various types of conflicts between children and parents, lead to escalation.

Parents: reluctance to accept the changes taking place: “He’s still just a child! So why should we start treating him like an adult?”; inappropriate power, dominance: “I’m the boss in the family! And whoever doesn’t like it can leave”; absolutization of one’s life experience, perception of the life of young people as something wrong. In children and parents: lack of flexibility, uncompromisingness: “It will be the way I want, period!”; absoluteconfidence in the fidelity of his point of view: “there are two opinions: one is mine, the other is wrong!”; avoidance of contact, reluctance to discuss problems: “Why are you bothering with your moralizing? Close the door!".

Thus, we see that conflicts in parent-child relationships are inevitable, and only from literacy parental behavior with a child, it depends how far the conflict goes.

A.I. Zakharov highlighted the features of destructive types of child rearing:

Disagreements between family members on issues of education;

Contradiction, inconsistency, inadequacy;

Guardianship and prohibitions in many areas of children's lives;

Increased requirements towards children, frequent use of threats and condemnations.

Among the personal characteristics of parents that contribute to their conflicts with children, L.I. Kolesnikova emphasizes:

Conservative way of thinking

Adherence to outdated rules of behavior and bad habits

Orthodoxy of beliefs, etc.

Among the personal characteristics of children are such as low academic performance, violations of the rules of behavior, ignoring the recommendations of parents, as well as disobedience, stubbornness, selfishness and egocentrism, self-confidence, laziness, etc.

Thus, child-parent conflicts can be presented as the result of miscalculations by parents and mistakes of children. At the same time, it is advisable to focus the attention of teachers and parents on suchtypes of conflicts between parents and children, such as:

conflict of instability of parental relationship (constant change of criteria for assessing the child);

conflict beyond care (excessive care and beyond expectations);

conflict of disrespect for the child’s rights to independence (total instructions and control from parents);

conflict of parental authority(the desire to achieve one’s own in a conflict at any cost, regardless of the causes of the incident and its consequences).

CONDITIONS FOR CONFLICT PREVENTION

Conflict prevention is based, first of all, on anticipating and blocking sources of conflict. Usually, people already in a pre-conflict situation are able to understand that problems have arisen that can cause complications in their relationships.

In many cases, it is possible to resolve these problems without waiting for things to escalate into conflict. In a conflict situation, you cannot: critically evaluate your partner; attribute base or bad intentions to him; demonstrate signs of superiority; blame and attribute responsibility for the conflict only to the opponent; ignore his interests; see everything only from your own position; downplay the opponent’s contribution and merits; exaggerate your merits; irritate, shout, attack; hurt " pain points» opponent; bring down a lot of claims on your opponent.

As already mentioned, even people who love each other are not immune from conflicts. Parents need to be aware of their child's age-related changes and adhere to age-appropriate rules and guidelines.

Unmotivated negativism of early childhood– a natural stage of personality formation. Small man makes the first awkward and naive attempts to demonstrate his “I”. If you don’t know this and strive at all costs to “break” the baby, he can grow up timid, dependent, weak-willed, and cannot defend his interests.

On the other hand, you cannot unconditionally yield to him in everything. The optimal “golden mean”: in some cases give in, in others insist on obeying the order, not forgetting, however, that self-esteem is also important for the child.

Many parents know well that whims cannot be indulged. But sometimes they forget that the child’s whims can be caused by his poor health, and they try to stop them with drastic measures.

And later, when everything becomes clear, the parents, trying to make amends for their guilt, unconditionally satisfy all the requests and demands of the child and thereby stimulate his capriciousness. So that such a thing does not arise vicious circle Before punishing a child, it is necessary to think about the reason for his unusual behavior.

Often parents' dissatisfaction is caused by the child's endless games, from which it is very difficult to tear him away. But a game for children is an activity, active life; With the help of the game, the most important skills, including communication, are unconsciously practiced.

Many psychologists and teachers rightly point out that people who were deprived of games with peers in childhood often have little contact. And this is not surprising. After all, communication between children and their peers is an excellent school of life, where you win and lose every day; sometimes you command, sometimes you obey; then you listen, then you obey. Selfishness, boastfulness, rudeness and other character defects are smoothed out easily and naturally.

Therefore, children should not be deprived of the joy of games, especially collective ones. When problems arise in the relationship between parents and children, parents, as a rule, see the reason in the changed behavior of the children. And they expect, accordingly, that the child should change, come to his senses, and begin to obey. Parental attempts to solve these problems, as a consequence, are also aimed at causing changes in the child's behavior.

If the relationship with the Parents begins to be perceived as a problem by the child himself, then he almost certainly sees the reasons exactly the opposite: it’s all because the “ancestors are stuck”, they establish unreasonable prohibitions, find fault with little things, etc. And he waits that parents will change their behavior. However, none of them is right when they try to solve the problems that have arisen by changing the behavior of the other party to the conflict.

This is a dead-end path that only leads to worsening conflict and exacerbation of mutual grievances. You can really change the behavior of only one person - yourself.

Trying to influence other people most often only leads to alienation. If there was a conflict between a teenager and his parents, then usually its severity begins to decrease from the moment when the parents recognize that the child has already grown up and begin to treat him as a person who bears independent responsibility for his actions.

Most of the reasons for conflict simply disappear. A particularly important condition for preventing child-parent conflict is adherence to the following principles in family education: Humanity and mercy towards a growing person; Involving children in the life of the family as its equal participants; Openness and trust in relationships with children; Optimistic relationships in the family; Consistency in your demands (do not demand the impossible); Providing all possible assistance to your child, willingness to answer questions.

The most favorable version of the relationship between parents and children is when they experience a stable need for mutual communication, show frankness, mutual trust, equality in relationships, when parents are able to understand the child’s world and his age-related needs. Fewer orders, commands, threats, reading morals, and more ability to listen and hear each other, the desire to find joint solutions, arguments, observations.

Enough a good option relationships when parents try to delve into the interests of the children and the children share with them, but some “cracks” in the relationship are already possible if the parents do not have the necessary sensitivity and tact, are not careful enough about the children’s secrets, do not keep up with the dynamism of the children’s development, and “fake” in the tone of the conversation. There are a number of private principles, but no less significant for preventing family conflict: prohibition physical punishment, the prohibition of reading other people's letters and diaries, not to moralize, not to talk too much, not to demand immediate obedience, not to indulge, etc.

All principles, however, boil down to one thought: children are welcome in the family not because the children are good, it’s easy to be with them, but the children are good and it’s easy to be with them because they are welcome.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Towards the concept of “conflict” among the majority negative attitude: They see aggression, squabbles, wars. In fact, conflict shows only one thing - inconsistency. Conflict shows that something is not going smoothly, something is going wrong. Timely identification of conflict makes it possible to promptly change, while people who avoid real conflict accumulate these destructive factors in themselves. As a result, the destruction increases significantly. Conflict allows you to solve a problem as it arises, without leading to destruction. Covering up the conflict leads to an inevitable explosion. Sometimes this explosion is directed outward, sometimes inward. Identifying conflict issues at the beginning of building relationships can prevent a lot of destruction later. Generally speaking, the ability to identify conflict issues based on the most insignificant information is a great benefit and a complex art.

Psychological counseling is often used to resolve family conflicts. The essence of psychological counseling conflict families is to develop special recommendations to change unfavorable psychological factors that complicate the functioning of the family and create conflict relationships in it. In order to relieve tension and improve the quality of counseling, I suggest using art therapy techniques in the counseling process, in particular working with plasticine.

Resolving a conflict means eliminating a conflict situation and ending the incident. It is clear that the first is more difficult to do, but also more important. Unfortunately, in practice, in most cases, the matter is limited only to the exhaustion of the incident. But often we also use a technique - suppression - avoidance of achieving goals under the influence of external coercion, when frustration is driven deep and can come out at any moment in the form of aggression.

First and most important!

Learn to listen to your child! To do this, adhere to the following: listen with empathy; focus on the subject of conversation; treats the speaker with respect; listen carefully without making judgments; express your opinion about what you hear. To show the person that they are truly being listened to; note what you do not understand or are not sure about; Use non-verbal means to maintain a conversation (smile, nod, look into the eyes).

Try to keep communication open. Speak diplomatically about what you think or feel.

Don't respond to aggression with aggression;

Do not insult or humiliate your opponent with any word, gesture or look;

Give your opponent the opportunity to speak out by carefully listening to his claims;

Try to express your understanding and sympathy in connection with the difficulties encountered by your opponent;

Do not make hasty conclusions, do not give hasty advice - the situation is always much more complicated than it seems at first glance;

Invite your opponent to discuss the problems that have arisen in a calm atmosphere.

If circumstances allow, then ask for time to better think about the information received. A pause will also help relieve emotional stress.

Thus, if, as a result of the above actions, you managed to convince your opponent that you are not his enemy and are ready for equal cooperation, then you can move on to the next stage of conflict resolution.

The results of my research showed that the constructive behavior of parents in conflict situations with children is facilitated by the following:

Always remember the child’s individuality (20%);

Take into account that each new situation requires a new solution (10%);

Remember that changes in a child’s behavior take time (10%);

Perceive contradictions with children as factors normal development (15%);

Show consistency towards the child (20%);

Approve different options for constructive behavior (15%);

Jointly look for a way out by changing the situation (10%);

Expand the range of moral rather than material incentives (30%);

I suggest parents the following step-by-step algorithm actions to resolve conflict situations and conflicts with children:

Step I: Identifying the Controversy or Problem. The parent must be sure that the moment chosen to search for an alternative is successful for him and for the child.

Step II. Search and development of alternative solutions. WhereinLet the child be the first to offer his solution.DGive him enough time to think about his suggestions.. Be open with him, avoid judging, judging or belittling the solutions proposed by your child. Avoid statements that create in your child the belief that you will not accept any of the solutions he proposes;

Step III. Research, thinking, evaluating alternative solutions. Very important on at this stage so that the parent includes the child in thinking and evaluating various decisions.Selecting an alternative and implementing a solution

Step IV. Choosing the right moment to evaluate the correctness of the decision made.

CONCLUSION

Relations between adults and children, no matter in what specific conditions they develop, still imply a certain inequality and hierarchy, therefore responsibility for conflicts is mainly assigned to the parents, because they are older. Psychological conflict in parent-child relationships is based on a number of reasons: a misunderstanding of the interacting parties; disrespect for each other; crises that arise in children and parents due to certain circumstances, or age characteristics; conflicts between spouses; divorce; ignorance elementary rules behavior; fundamentals of psychology, pedagogy, medicine, and a number of other basic and specific factors.

When a conflict situation arises involving children, especially teenagers, the conflict often moves in the direction of intensification rather than extinguishment. This process is called escalation.

What is dangerous about this course of development of the conflict is that it can reach an extreme point, a deadlock situation, when the confrontation really threatens to turn into a self-destructive action for the opponent. With this development, opponents, or one of the parties, children and/or parents, begin to hit the sore spots, trying to bite more painfully. Naturally, this option cannot have a positive effect on parent-child relationship. Then knowledge of how to prevent conflict comes to the rescue.

The concept of conflict prevention implies such an organization of the life activities of children and parents that eliminates or minimizes the likelihood of conflicts arising between them. Conflict prevention activities can be carried out both by the parents and children themselves, and by a third party (teacher, psychologist, conflict specialist or “super nanny”).

Also an important condition for preventing conflict is the resolution of intrapersonal conflicts. Only a person living in harmony with himself can effectively solve interpersonal problems.

BIBLIOGRAPHY:

Gretsov A.G. Practical psychology for teenagers and parents. – St. Petersburg: Peter, 2006.

Ivanova E. N. Going into conflict \"Resolution conflictology\" - DNA Publishing House, St. Petersburg, 2003

Ishmuratova A.L. Conflict and consent - K, 1996

Karosa Chester Lee The Art of Negotiation - M, 1997

Conflictology / Edited by AC Karmin - 4th ed., St. Petersburg: Lan, 2001

Lupyan Y. A. Communication barriers, conflicts, stress... - Mn.: Higher. school , 1986.

Basics of conflict management: Tutorial/ ed. V. N. Kudryavtseva. M.: 1997 Stolyarenko L. D.

Basics of psychology. 8th ed., revised. and additional Tutorial. (Series “higher education.”) - Rostov-on-Don: Phoenix, 2003.

APPENDIX No. 1

Exercise “Plasticine mood”

Goal: reducing psycho-emotional stress.

Materials: pieces of plasticine of different colors.

Time: 10 min.

Progress of the exercise: the exercise is carried out in two stages.

Stage 1. The participant has a piece of plasticine in his hands. Initially, it is kneaded, made plastic and a “flagellum” is formed. At the presenter’s signal, the participant bends the plasticine, giving it the shape that the presenter talks about, for example: circle, triangle, straight line, square, zigzag, spring. All manipulations are carried out with only one piece of plasticine. The figures can be alternated according to complexity.

Stage 2. The plasticine remains on the table, and the participant is asked to draw his mood with plasticine on a sheet of paper (a certain situation is chosen: when meeting a friend, when returning home, when he has a quarrel with his parents, etc.) If it is difficult to “draw with plasticine”, it is proposed to create a mood figure or composition. For work, it is suggested to choose colors and even mix them.

Analysis: the size of the elements and their location on the sheet relative to each other, identification of dominant elements, reasons for choosing specific elements, color palette, plot and orderliness or chaos and fragmentation.

Simplified version: we mold our problem in any form, “talk” to her, telling her absolutely everything that we consider necessary and that is boiling over. We transform it into whatever we want.

APPENDIX No. 2

Firstly If you are stifled by aggression and other very negative, destructive emotions, you should always prefer sculpting. In this case, the drawing will only irritate you, but the modeling, on the contrary, will calm you down.

Secondly , always (especially at first) prefer drawing to pasting collages cut out from magazines. Creating collages is the last, highest and final stage of art therapeutic work, when all the main “dirty work” has already been done and you can enjoy pure contemplation with a minimum of creative effort. They start with a drawing.

Third , always have the most wide choose color palette - pencils, paints or felt-tip pens. However, prefer paints. Because the brush is more flexible and free. The pressure and severity of the line that a pencil requires are less conducive to liberation, especially at first.

In the fourth, To create drawings, do not use a ruler, compass or other devices to obtain a more “beautiful” image. All art therapy drawings must be done by hand.

Fifthly When doing art therapy, you can create “programmed” drawings or “who knows what.” If you want to draw “program drawings,” then use the traditional theme of projective tests. Projective tests are still based on universal human archetypes.

By re-creating such traditional archetypes as “house”, “tree”, “person”, you will more easily achieve insight - that is, you will find mutual language with your unconscious, you will understand the signals emanating from it.

Create the following thematic drawings:

Drawing of myself

Drawing of your (possibly imaginary) family,

Drawing of a person in general,

Drawing “House, tree, man” (HDP)