How to raise a 10 year old girl - psychology. Tips on how to raise a modern boy to be a real man

10 years for a girl (and for a boy too) is not only a “round” date, but also the beginning of the crisis puberty (adolescence) period. This is the time associated with a huge amount emotional reactions (mostly negative, since most of them are provoked by a lack of understanding of one’s condition).

Age characteristics

Most of the changes at the age of 10 - 11 years old occur at the hormonal level, and psychology also changes. A certain independence appears in behavior, and the exclusive dependence on mom and dad gradually disappears. Every parent should treat this with understanding and accept the fact that the child has a need for communication outside the home and interests on which he can spend his time. personal time(and the child must have it).

Girls at 10 years old begin to feel like girls

Attempts to overly control the social circle and activities of a growing girl can result in:

1. Rebellion, a clear demonstration of insubordination (accompanied by anger, aggression, the desire to act “in spite of” results in truly unreasonable decisions that are dangerous to life and health).
2. Indifference (ignoring all the demands of the mother and father).
3. Conditional humility, which disappears as soon as the child is out of sight of the parents (accompanied by lies and the development of distrust of others).
4. True humility (accompanied by a drop in self-esteem, lack of initiative, and a tendency to self-destruction).

Completely submissive behavior is dangerous by raising a weak-willed personality

In each individual case, one of these behavioral tactics is predominant, but in general they can alternate with each other. This is due to variability emotional state, which is typical for a girl aged 10-11 years. You should not worry about such instability; you just need to show, if possible, that you are ready to understand your child if he wants to explain himself to you or decides to discuss his condition.

Features of education

It happens that with the good intention of raising a “decent person,” parents raise their child in conditions of numerous “shoulds” and categorical “nos,” not supported by any explanations. The presence of such groundless (from the point of view of children) prohibitions is very difficult for a growing person to bear, because cognitive processes still active, desire to explore the world– too, and simply parental disagreement is not a sufficient argument to stop.

You shouldn’t rely only on prohibitions

Remember: explain your decisions to your child.

It doesn't matter whether it's a girl or a boy - if your children know why you expect them to do certain things, they will be much more attentive to your requests. Talk to them about the consequences of possible misconduct. Not about punishment, but about how the offense will turn out for them personally.

How to conduct a dialogue correctly

You need to be able to talk to a 10-11 year old child. Never push your age or say that you “know better.” If you know, then explain, if you are worried, then tell me. Show your child that you are not just a parent, an authoritative person with power, but also loving person who worries and tries to protect him from trouble.

If you think that this is already clear, then there is a high probability that you are wrong. Speak out your reasons, your attitude. But be prepared that, even after listening to you, the child will act in his own way. This is inevitable, he gains his experience. It is quite possible that you will lose your temper over this - this is natural, but you must explain that the reason for your anger is not that the child himself is bad and disobedient, but because you are worried about his life and health.

You need to learn to talk to your child

Also, in the process of communication, you should not compare children with their brothers and sisters, or with other people's children. This causes them to devalue themselves and doubt their abilities. Moreover, there is no need to shout at them.

Understand: it is in the ability to control oneself that adulthood is manifested.

This does not mean that an adult is a robot. Of course, we all experience emotions, but it is as we grow older that we acquire the skill of self-control. You cannot demand this from a child, but you can set an example for him.

Praise

It is impossible to compare children with someone not only in a negative, but also in a positive way.

Parents' mistakes in education

That is, to say “You are beautiful (smart, kind, etc.)” will be true, but the option “You are beautiful (smart, kind), like ...” is wrong. Firstly, with such a comparison, children may get the feeling that they are not unique, not valuable in themselves. Secondly, there is a risk that there will be a desire to imitate in everything that other person they happen to be similar to, which again leads to a loss of individuality.

Single-parent families

Single-parent families have a special situation, and if a girl lives with her dad, it is advisable to make sure that she has an older “friend” (grandmother, aunt, nanny), who, from her own, female, position, will help in resolving certain issues. If you are in such a mentoring role, take it seriously, do not divulge the secrets entrusted to you, and do not ridicule the immature decisions of your mentee.

Single-parent family requires special treatment to the child

It is quite possible that a 10-year-old girl will not dare to discuss any of the problems that concern her, so she should carefully “test” the situation, inadvertently touching on “difficult” topics and noting the reaction for herself. The fear of discussion is associated with the fear of showing one’s ignorance, stupidity or awkwardness. If you find out what exactly bothers the child, you can tell something funny about yourself on this topic. Let him see that everyone has failures and absurdities, and that there are no taboo topics for discussion.

Housework

First of all, you have to learn to consider a 10-11 year old teenager not only as a child, but also as a person who wants to make decisions on his own, without regard to what they will say or think about him. It is possible that he will not view the performance of household duties as objective. necessary action, but as an act of submission to someone else's will.

Discuss with the future hostess that you are not able to do everything around the house and it would be reasonable (if she is already old enough) to share the worries with her. Give her your “territory,” for which she will be responsible, entrust her with a certain (but strictly limited) list of matters that are under her jurisdiction.

At the age of 10, a girl should clean her own room

Attention: if your child has separate room, then there is no need to try to control the process, quality and frequency of putting things in order.

Better instead:

• Keep your room tidy (lead by example).
• Discuss the consequences of such negligence (the emergence allergic reactions and frequent illnesses due to excess dust and poor hygiene, the appearance of unpleasant odor to which classmates may react poorly).
• Be able to show a moderately positive reaction to the fact that your daughter has finally taken up cleaning (violent enthusiasm, as well as ignoring, can cause negative attitude teenager to experience farming).

If your 10-year-old daughter does something outside the regulated list, then be sure to note how much she helped you, because this is not part of her responsibilities, and she spent her free personal time taking care of her family and household chores.

Joint holiday

According to most parents, modern child By the age of 10, he is not interested in anything except phones, games and walks. But this is not the fault of the children, who are often left to their own devices for a long time. They have not only no habits, but even a single experience of other pastime options. Give him such an experience, do something together, agree that for one day (or at least for a few hours) you will put away the phone, TV, computer together and do something else.

Walking and relaxing together brings you closer together

It doesn’t have to be “useful” leisure time; you can fool around, but in a special way. Practice creative activities together.

But! Always be prepared that your child will not agree with your proposal. He needs to be able to dream up his own imagination, try to come to an agreement. You can alternate days when your child plans activities and when you do it yourself. Do not try to adjust her plans to suit your needs, children sense this and may become seriously offended or lose motivation. But it is possible and even necessary to make reasonable comments regarding practical issues in a calm, non-critical manner.

Respect

Parents who want to achieve respect from their offspring must understand that the power of personal example is also at work here. There is no need to indulge all the child’s whims, but treating him with respect is a must.

In general, girls tend to behave more tactfully and greater feeling responsibility. They understand other people’s point of view more easily than boys, and therefore a respectful (as well as compassionate) attitude towards others is characteristic of them to a greater extent.

Psychology

At 10 - 11 years old, girls may be interested in psychology. Support this hobby, try to figure out your inner world. Read relevant literature, encourage your child to think about his internal state. Self-knowledge and self-development are exactly what will allow a child to develop self-confidence and socialize safely.

Psychological help parents will help the child understand himself

As one daughter told her mother when asked how to behave with children at age 10: “Be sincere and natural. And don’t overload with unnecessary information.”

Conclusion

There are no universal laws on how a boy or daughter should be raised at the age of 10-11 (or at any other age). Just be attentive to your children. This is for real individuals, which a priori owe you nothing. But if you want, you can become one reliable friend and a wonderful teacher. Then they will listen to you and help of their own free will, and not under pressure, and this, you see, is much more pleasant.

Similar materials

Upbringing has a decisive influence on a child's character. Study only individual characteristics the child will allow him to further educate and re-educate his character and receive desired result. Raising a 10 year old child is enough difficult process. Children at the age of 10 already carefully observe the lives of their parents, analyze and try on all the actions of adults.

The main problems of youth education

The world for young people sometimes turns out to be quite difficult. A ten-year-old child may have a friend, but relationships at school often become competitive and difficult. More advanced children may be influenced by friends in their social circle. Often children deliberately isolate themselves from spending time together with a family. In the process of raising a 10-year-old child, an adult must remember that at this age he begins to form both psychologically and physiologically. Children at this age are spreading their wings, and parents need to allow them to express their independence.

The main problem in raising young people is that at this age children’s behavior deteriorates sharply. They are stubborn, pugnacious, deliberately show themselves from the worst side, and show undisguised aggression. Children are trying in every way to show their independence, trying to free themselves from control and guardianship from adults. A huge impact on the formation of individuality in this period They also have intra-family relationships.

When raising a 10-year-old child, adults may feel an emotional cooling that manifests itself in the relationships of daughters with fathers, and sons with mothers. In single-parent families, all the efforts of one parent are directed towards the child. And this can cause emotional and psychological problems.

Ways to develop the character of a 10-year-old child

A ten-year-old child will be glad if adults consider him old enough to solve some of his own life problems.

However, a child will certainly not be able to organize life completely correctly without the help of his parents. Therefore, during a conversation with a child, an adult must find a solution that will suit everyone.

In the process of raising a 10-year-old child, you can ask him to draw up a plan that will include the time needed for hobbies, recreation, schoolwork and household chores.

To develop a child’s character, it is advisable to single out two or three things to do. He will ensure that these specific tasks are completed, such as cleaning his room. However, you should not overload the child, otherwise he will not cope with the task, and this will cause a storm of protest.

When raising a 10-year-old child, you shouldn’t watch his every step, as in more early age. But during this period, parents need close contact with teachers, with the school, with their daughter’s or son’s friends.

To achieve the desired behavior, it is important that the child himself wants it. When a child develops a desire for change, we need to help him choose Right way correcting your behavior. At the same time, you need to carefully monitor the successes of your son or daughter, and if necessary, help him, encourage him, constantly support his desire to change, faith in his own strength.

When parents, in the process of raising a child for 10 years, allow him everything and do not object to him in anything, then as a result he may grow up to be a narcissistic, stubborn egoist who will not recognize any authorities.

At this age, children pay a lot of attention to their clothes and hairstyle. Therefore, it is very important to instill in them the correct understanding of elegance during this period. It is necessary to explain to the child that the basis of elegance is neatness, simplicity and the ability to choose clothes so that they perfectly emphasize individuality.

Raising boys is a complex process and psychology plays an important role in this matter. In ancient times, raising children was aimed at survival, which is why boys were resilient and brave. From the first year of life, they were taught to wield weapons and endure any difficulties. Every second family had many children, and it was impossible to keep track of all the children. Children used to become independent from lack of upbringing. From 6 to 12 years old, education was the job of the father.

Today, mothers raise boys, first of all, to be obedient and tolerant. Their goal is to educate strong man, but it turns out exactly the opposite.

Why is this happening? The thing is that psychologically boys are radically different from girls. They see the world differently, and if a mother adjusts her son to her vision, she suppresses the male essence in him.

As already mentioned in our articles, in raising boys, the father plays big role and is a subject to be emulated. Unfortunately, the pace of life does not allow spending much time with the child and the baby lacks the attention of his father. To compensate for this, at the age of 10 he begins to seek the attention of other men (grandfathers, uncles), but these examples may not be good.

A father must instill in his son the right concepts and principles. This is only possible if the father has been with the child since the first year, and the baby respects him. Preschoolers develop character traits and habits; it is during this period that raising a father will be appropriate.

Along with this they search and read:

Try to support and encourage the child, help him, and overcome obstacles.

Important! Never scold a child for a failed attempt to help, because he sincerely wanted to take part in his father’s affairs, and as a result he realized that initiative is punishable.

In order for your little hero to grow up persistent and self-confident, the boy needs to be involved in masculine activities, without taking the hammer away from him, in order to avoid consequences. It is better to monitor the child’s activities and deservedly praise him so that he feels his importance.

The mother often and unreasonably praises the baby, thereby showing her unconditional love, the son gets used to it and stops trying. You need to earn your father's praise and please your baby over trifles. kind words not worth it, but significant achievements should be encouraged. IN at a young age it could even be a display of endurance in climbing a hill.

The more you allow a guy to do on his own (with a little help), the faster he will learn and understand that he can do a lot without outside interference.

At the age of 10–12, boys are looking for a leader among their environment and it is better for the father to become an authority for the boy before this time. Undoubtedly, this is painstaking and hard work, throughout childhood, but good upbringing worth it.

Overprotective mother

Many mothers try to protect their child from everything in the world; they control every step of the boy from the first year and forbid him literally everything. Subsequently, they complain that the child is afraid to sleep in his room or cannot pass through the dark corridor. There is nothing surprising in this, because by constantly suppressing his desire to explore, the mother does not allow the child to understand the true danger.

A boy needs space to show courage and tolerance. You should not run to your baby the first time he falls. Please note that if the baby cries, he needs your support and you need to give it to him. If the guy doesn’t become capricious, you should praise him and point out his patience with pain and endurance. Unjustified harshness of upbringing should also not be used.

Overprotective mothers are common. Mom is afraid for her child (especially if her son only child in the family) and wants to protect his health. Yet behind this lies selfishness, because by raising her son for herself, the mother deprives him of his willpower. As a result, the guy suffers from stronger bullies at school and by the age of thirty he lives with his mother, without any aspirations. There is another plot, boys with stronger characters will rebel, and the mother will not be able to cope with them. And the father’s attempts to correct the situation will be in vain. The psychology of boys is different from girls and a mother should not impose her ideals on a guy.

In order for the son to be a true protector in the future and strive for leadership, the mother needs to allow the baby to make decisions on his own. Let it be the choice of pants for going out or a dish for breakfast, but he will feel that his opinion is taken into account. He must rely on his own strength and different situations with peers.

Important! You shouldn’t scare your child with creepy monsters or monsters that hide in the dark and will come if he behaves badly, because this will make the guy not show courage, but will only stop going into dark rooms or you will need to consult a psychologist.

Mothers and grandmothers often spoil their preschoolers; instead of developing endurance, they allow them to lie on the couch all day watching cartoons. This will have a bad effect not only on the guy’s self-discipline, but also on his physical development. Mom should teach the guy to spend time actively and healthy physical activity given it age characteristics. He will not learn endurance without regular exercise.

At 10–12 years old, boys will trust their mother and show their love only when proper education. Warm relations will be the result of moderate restrictions and the opportunity to express themselves. A 12-year-old man will respect his mother and thank her, because instead of prohibitions, she contributed to his achievements.

Video: Aspects of raising a son

Raising a boy without a father

Raising boys and the characteristics of a mother who is raising her son on her own forces her to visit a psychologist with problems in raising her. They need counseling when their son is already 12 years old and they are not able to cope with him. At this age, it is difficult to change anything, because the foundation has been laid and many habits have been formed.

It’s worth starting to wonder about parenting alone with early years, or from the moment your father left your family. In addition to the divorce, the boys are left without a father due to his death, which already causes them great trauma. And now the role of both parents falls on the woman’s fragile shoulders.

In addition to the fact that a mother needs to earn money for the family, she also needs to pay attention to household chores. There is incredibly little time left, but the child needs care and attention.

Important! First, you should understand that without a man, raising a self-sufficient and confident guy is impossible. This should be another close family member or coach.

Try to involve your grandfather or uncle in raising your baby, or at least spend time with them sometimes. Naturally, they will not replace the father, but they will be able to compensate for male attention. You should not delegate your housework responsibilities to the boy. Naturally, it’s difficult for you, and you should encourage his initiative in this, but not force him.

Preschoolers can be sent to diverse sections, in which a man teaches or with exclusively male team(boxing, football). Choose activities based on your child's needs. There the boy will learn endurance and interaction with other children, and determine his place in the team. A 5-year-old guy needs to throw out a lot of energy, and you shouldn’t stop him from running around the house happily and screaming in his free time.

Achievements are incredibly important for men at any age, and whether the child is 3 years old or 12 years old, receiving praise for success makes them strive for more. Sport will help realize this desire, but the mother needs to be interested in everything the child does. Try to learn the players of his favorite team, if it is football, or remember the basic rules and names of kicks, if it is taekwondo.

The main thing is to sincerely enjoy his skills and go to competitions so that the guy sees your interest. For boys, universal recognition is no less important; they love attention and well-deserved praise. The mother needs to encourage this in the early years. Preschoolers from the third year of life can be attracted to simple physical labor(help bring notebooks to the teacher or give a chair to the girl). It is also worth raising a boy into a gentleman who will gladly give in to a girl or let her go ahead. At 10–12 years old, this will also affect the attitude towards the mother, because she is also a woman and deserves attention.

Of course, all boys are different and when raising them it is worth taking into account the main features. Do not ignore the advice of a psychologist difficult situations, because a child does not always calmly react to his father’s departure and needs a professional approach.

The best education is the personal example of an adult. For a boy, ideally, he should be his father and his closest circle - grandfather, brother, teacher, coach...

However, the reality is that the boy preschool age, when the foundations of his gender-role behavior are laid, he is not surrounded by men at all. Women work almost everywhere in the education sector, and the number of single-parent families, and in two-parent families, the male father is often present only formally.

Some dads remove themselves from the process of raising a boy, considering this women's business, show lack of initiative, not knowing what to do with the baby. Others themselves are infantile, so they can do little to help in the development of masculine qualities. And it happens that a father would be happy to raise a boy, spend time with his son, teach him something, but his workload does not allow it, because he needs to think about the future of the family.

However, mothers should not be discouraged, even if the responsibility for raising their sons lies with them. You just need to correctly organize the process of raising a boy from the very beginning, following the 8 “golden” rules:

1. Raising a boy: do not limit freedom!

In order for a mother to develop masculine qualities in her son, it is sometimes necessary to raise him in a way that is more convenient, simpler and calmer for her. First of all, you need to make sure that the boy’s upbringing shapes his character. And for this, mother very often has to reconsider her views on life, attitudes, fight her fears, and “break” stereotypes developed over the years.

What picture can be observed more and more often in modern families? Accuracy, caution, and diligence are cultivated in boys. And then the mother reaps the fruits of her and grandmother’s “muslin upbringing”: growing up, the son cannot fight back the offender, overcome difficulties, and does not want to strive for anything. And parents do not understand where this weakness of will in their child came from.

However, it is precisely these qualities with early childhood they put into the boy the words “Don’t run - you’ll fall”, “Don’t climb, it’s dangerous there”, “Don’t do it - you’ll get hurt”, “Don’t touch, I’ll do it myself” and other “don’t...”. Will such upbringing of a boy develop initiative and responsibility?

Of course, mother and grandmother can be partly understood, especially when the child is the only and long-awaited one. They are afraid that something might happen to the baby. However, these fears also hide selfish considerations. An easy-going child is much more comfortable; you don’t have to adapt to him. It's much easier to feed yourself two year old child than watching him spread porridge on a plate. It’s faster to dress a four-year-old yourself than to wait while he fiddles with buttons and laces. It’s calmer when your son walks next to you and holds your hand, rather than running around the playground, trying to get lost from sight. Indulging our impulses, we do not think about the consequences.

Raising a boy this way distorts the very masculine nature, responding to the mental and physical health boys. They develop fears that sometimes turn into somatic problems (stuttering, nervous tics, allergies, breathing problems, frequent illnesses), low self-esteem develops, and problems develop in communicating with other children. Often the opposite situation arises: a boy may begin to “defend himself” from the pressure of parental care aggressive behavior, thus expressing childish rebellion.

Of course, getting rid of habits is not easy, but you need to understand that a child without the help of his parents will not become the person he would like. For this he needs the help of adults and certain conditions. Do not limit the child’s freedom of movement during a walk, do not take him away from small “dangers” (a conflict in the sandbox with a peer, climbing over a low fence, etc.), but help him overcome difficulties, encourage him.

2. Raising a boy. The child must have a role model

Regardless of whether the boy is being raised by a single mother or he is growing up in full family, you need to try to make sure that the image of a man, which is quite attractive for a boy’s perception, is present in the life of the family.

Until the baby has grown up, he is quite happy that his mother spends most of the time with him, but after 3 years, when the child is separated from his mother both physically and personally, the boy begins to show more and more interest in men: dad, uncle , grandfather. And by the age of 6, it becomes extremely necessary for him to spend time with adult men, imitating them and imitating their behavior. And here the mother should make sure that her son has someone to communicate with.

Joint leisure time with his father helps the boy decide in life, understand who he is. After all, only through communication with the father and other men does the child master the norms of male behavior and form his own opinion. And the sooner dad starts raising his son, the faster he will develop a male stereotype of behavior.

But what to do if dad is not around? In this case, the mother needs to find among relatives or friends a person who could appear in the boy’s life at least from time to time. For example, you can take the baby to grandpa for the weekend and leave them to solder, plan and craft together. And when the baby grows up, you should find him sports section or a circle led by a man who really loves his job.

In addition, the image of a real man for your boy can be found not only among real people. Imaginary characters are also quite suitable for this purpose. It is enough to find a book hero whom your son would like to emulate, hang a photograph of a brave grandfather on the wall, and talk about your ancestors and their courageous deeds. In other words, it is necessary to create a microclimate for the son that is conducive to his development as a man.

3. You can only raise a real man in a stable atmosphere

First of all, a boy (as well as a girl) needs love and harmony in the family. A father should not be afraid to show affection to his son. With such things he will not spoil the child, but will shape him basic trust to peace and confidence in your loved ones. To love means to be not indifferent to the problems and feelings of a child, to see him as a person. A boy raised sensitively and consistently grows up to be open, calm, confident in his abilities, capable of empathy and expression of emotions.

4. Teach your boy to express his feelings freely

It is important that there is no prohibition on expressing feelings in the family. Crying is a natural manifestation of stress. So you shouldn’t follow stereotypes and scold the boy for crying. You just need to treat them as a signal that the child is feeling bad, and not suppress his emotions, but teach him to express them, if possible, in a different way.

5. Openly admit your mistakes.

How to raise a real man? Of course, on personal example show that you should always be responsible for your words. Fathers and mothers must be critical of themselves. If necessary, admit they are wrong and ask for forgiveness from their son, this will only strengthen their authority by showing justice.

6. Build your child’s empathy skills

Nurture in a boy moral qualities. While still a preschooler, he can understand and do a lot, from helping his mother around the house to respectful attitude to older people in transport. This behavior should be presented as the norm. Putting away the dishes, making the bed, giving up your seat for your grandmother on the bus - this is normal for a future man.

7. When raising a boy, encourage him to be independent.

In the development of a boy, pay great attention to his independence. Let him sometimes feel his importance and freedom. In the future, this will help him become happy and successful, and realize his potential to the fullest. Boys tend to strive for self-affirmation and leadership. This is very important for them further development. Therefore, we must encourage the son’s desire to make his own choices, think independently, and remind him that he is responsible for his actions.

8. Take your child to sports clubs

Children need physical activity for a full physical development. While the child is small, you need to walk with him more, let him run, jump, fall, climb, and explore the world under the strict guidance of his parents. Later, you should allocate time in your son’s weekly schedule for a sports section, where he could improve his physical abilities and feel strong, agile, self-confident.

We agree in advance

Moms should take note of one “secret” in the relationship between father and child. Fathers are often afraid to stay with their baby for a long time because they feel insecure. Therefore, make the leisure time between dad and child as specific as possible.

For example, say: “Tomorrow I’ll be out on business for a couple of hours. Let’s figure out what you could do with your baby.” Or: “On Saturday you will finally be able to build the hut that our boy has long dreamed of.” This way you will give the man a chance to mentally prepare for communicating with a toddler.

P.S. When communicating with a child, mothers and fathers should not be afraid of being funny, awkward or unsuccessful. Children, as you know, forgive their parents everything except falsehood and indifference.

Star parents

Dmitry Dyuzhev and Vanya (5 years old)

“The best method of raising a boy is love, I hug my son endlessly and kiss him! My wife and I are raising self-sufficiency in Van; we want him not only to be calm and confident, but also to love people. And, of course, you shouldn’t be overprotective. Let him spoil the carpets if necessary, let him get into the ink, let him try the sand - there’s no need to ban him.”

Alisa Grebenshchikova and Alyosha (5 years old)

"Alyosha is growing up in big family, where everyone has their own role. He sees how women behave, what they do. Our grandmother is responsible for comfort. He plays men's games with his grandfathers. Once my son and I went to the store, and I invited him to choose any toy. Alyosha chose a chainsaw. He was 4 years old. “I will cut wood,” said the son. The fact is that he saw his grandfather doing this at the dacha, who also removes leaves and cleans snow. Alyosha understands that all this is part of a man’s responsibilities.”

Reading time: 7 minutes

So that a son grows into a man, good father, a worthy member of society, it is important to know how to raise a boy. Representatives of the stronger sex, capable of action and recognition, self-confident, courageous and courageous, grow up from little boys whose mother and father have found the right pedagogical approach. There are many subtleties and nuances that you need to know in order to grow good man, comprehensively developed personality, a real man.

Raising boys

IN Ancient Rus' believed that women should not raise sons. This is a man's task. Tutors were hired for noble children, and children from the lower classes moved in a male environment thanks to their early introduction to work. Since the 20th century, boys are less and less often brought up under male attention, care for children is transferred to women's shoulders. Flaw male influence affects the behavior of the adult son. Men become lacking initiative, cannot fight back the offender, and do not want to overcome difficulties.

Psychology of raising boys

Courageous, strong and courageous men are not immediately born with such a set of human qualities. The character of the stronger sex comes from childhood. Correct Actions parents, based on the psychological characteristics of boys, is the key to success, the answer to how to raise sons correctly. Needed for boys and girls different approach, because their psychology is different. For a son to become a worthy member of modern society, it is important to build respectful, trusting relationship.

Rules of education

Each family's methods of education may vary, but if the parents' task is to form a strong, responsible personality, then it is worth raising their son by following the following few rules:

1. The baby should have self-esteem, and not just follow the orders of his parents.
2. Even a preschooler, not to mention a teenager, must clearly understand that everything started must be completed.
3. Let the boys play sports. This is necessary not only for physical fitness, but also for the emergence of self-discipline.
4. It is important to cultivate perseverance in a child in the face of defeat, and difficulties must be overcome by any means.
5. Boys need to be taught a sense of responsibility and mercy.

Male education

The role of the father in the task of raising boys is difficult to overestimate. If until the age of 4-5 years the mother is of greater importance to the baby, then after that she reaches out to the father. Only through communication with his father (or other men) does a boy learn male behavior. Children copy the behavior of their fathers, because his moral principles, habits and manners are the embodiment of the standard of masculinity, an example to follow. The authority of the father and attitude towards the mother determine how much the boy will love and respect his future family, wife.

How to raise a boy to be a real man

A man's character is formed by different actions parents. Some people focus on studying and books, others believe important stage for the formation of a personality, playing sports, for others it is important to raise a child, loving work. Whatever path you choose, the main thing is to show your child a positive example. Only your hard work, love of sports, and responsibility will be able to demonstrate and cultivate the same qualities in your child.

Sex education

Not less than psychological aspects upbringing, physiological ones are important for a boy. From birth, monitor the formation of the genitourinary system; if problems are detected, contact a specialist. The cause may be weak or excessive development of the genital organs, narrowing or inflammation of the foreskin, and other disorders. Hygienic habits are established in childhood. For boys, uncleanliness can cause inflammation, pain, and swelling. Parents are obliged to form and instill healthy habits in a timely manner.

In addition to hygiene, sex education also covers other aspects. The task of the mother and father is to help the son understand his belonging to male, teach him to behave adequately in relationships with the opposite sex. Children should receive information about sex life from parents, not from peers or via the Internet. At the age of 7-11, boys should already be aware of reproductive function and childbirth, the onset of puberty and the changes that await them. After 12 years of age, teenagers need to know:

• about the existence different forms sexuality;
• about sexually transmitted diseases;
• about sexual violence;
• about safe sex.

How to raise a boy to be brave

If a boy is afraid of everything from childhood, there is a high probability that with age these fears will only intensify. Parents should make a lot of effort to develop courage in their future man. To help mothers and fathers who want to see their baby fearless, here are some recommendations:

1. For confidence, cultivating masculinity and courage, a child needs harmony in the family. When mom and dad cannot come to a common opinion, the child is confused and confused.
2. You cannot praise and set other children as an example. This comparison can lead to uncertainty.
3. Guardianship and worries about your son should be shown in moderation.
4. To develop courage you need to play sports.
5. You can't call a child a coward. You need to teach your child to fight his fears, for example, with the help of a sense of humor.

How to raise a good son

Parents want to raise their son to be responsible, proactive, strong, but at the same time loving, caring and attentive. These natural desires It’s difficult to bring moms and dads to life, but there are several rules of upbringing that will help with this:

• support manifestations of independence, activity and other male character traits;
• be an example for your son always and in everything;
• teach your son to work from an early age;
• treat it with reasonable demands.

How to raise a boy correctly

When deciding how to raise a boy, it is important to take into account the characteristics of the child’s age. You need to start from birth, and as the baby grows up, you will have to make more and more efforts. At the right approach your efforts will be rewarded good results. At certain stages, the role of the mother or father becomes more significant, but both parents must equally make efforts to educate.

Raising a boy from birth

In raising a child under 3 years old, gender does not matter. A child at this age spends most of his time with his mother, with whom the connection is very strong. The father plays a secondary role during this period. Parents should behave in such a way that the baby feels safe. A baby, surrounded by the love and care of his mother, grows up confident in himself and his abilities. Experts recommend not visiting for children under 3 years of age. kindergarten. Children who feel abandoned often show aggression and anxiety. To raise self-esteem, it is important to hug your child more often and punish less often.

At 3-4 years old

After 3 years, children begin to distinguish people by gender. Raising a son at this stage should take place with an emphasis on his masculine qualities - strength, dexterity, courage. Boys need to make more effort to develop speech. To improve communication skills, parents should talk and play more with their baby. For comprehensive development crumbs do not limit him when choosing games and toys. If a boy wants to play with dolls, this will not affect his social role in any way.

At 5-7 years old

At this age, raising boys differs little from the previous period. Surround your child with affection and care, give him confidence and awareness own strength. Let your baby feel safe. Remind him of important masculine qualities, allow us to show tenderness and own emotions. Towards the end of this period, the boys move a little away from their mother and begin to get closer to their father.

At 8-10 years old

In order to raise his son correctly, at the stage from 8 to 10 years old, it is important for the father to actively participate in his son’s life. It is important to form trusting relationships that will clearly manifest themselves in adolescence and adulthood. Dad should not be too strict, as the child may withdraw into himself and begin to be afraid of his father. Boys are interested in men's affairs, activities and actions of dad. Even during this period, the son may begin to defend his opinion or territory by force. Don't hinder expression negative emotions. Explain that you can achieve what you want using other methods.

teenager

Raising a son who has entered teenage years, means instilling responsibility in him, teaching him to see the consequences of his actions, and correlating desires with reality. These are the main goals that parents of a teenager should set for themselves. The role of the father is still high, but the matured child needs communication with school friends and peers. Receive masculine energy, you can also get acquainted with behavioral characteristics by communicating with older men close to the teenager’s family.

How to raise a hyperactive boy

When a child finds it difficult to sit in one place, he is constantly distracted, acts quickly and impulsively, and there is a high likelihood of hyperactivity. Consult child psychologist, engage in independent study of the issue in order to properly raise such a special child. When raising a son with hyperactivity, pay attention to organizing the daily routine, find a hobby he likes, support and praise your child. It is important to show tenderness, affection and care to sons with such a problem.

How to raise a boy without a father

Single-parent families are a common occurrence in modern society. Mom should not feel guilty about the current circumstances. To raise a boy to be a real man without a father, try to compensate for the absence of a second parent in life with the attention of close relatives - an uncle or grandfather. Time spent in male society, will allow the child to achieve self-identification, will contribute personal development, will strengthen faith in yourself and your own capabilities.

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